Advice Post

[honeydew1894]

Hey girls...so my DH loves being a dad, and he loves hanging out with our kids.  NONE of his friends ever want to hang out with kids, but they would go for a beer, etc. alone with him.

How can he find some dads to hang with?  I am in a mom's group, but none of the DH's I have met jive with mine.  He is frustrated at a lack of friends who like to do family stuff. Thoughts?

[sdlaura]

How old are your kids? DH met more Dad friends once my DD started elementary school and DS1 started doing tball. He still doesn’t usually just hang out with other dads and the kids - typically it’s either both full families together or the moms and kids - unless the dads are at some organized activity with the kids.

[waverly]

There is one guy that takes his kids to the park so my H has joined him there. They go to our daycare.

Otherwise it’s the same- hang out individually with beers or as a two to three whole families hanging out as a group.

He can ask hey do you want to take the kids to the park but if they say no he doesn’t have a lot of choice. The other guys coach sports together and I guess their hang out time is while they are coaching.

DH sees other guys at Cub Scouts too but hasn’t branched out into hanging out outside of the Cub Scout events.

[mommyatty]

Coaching sports together has been the first thing that worked best for DH. And yeah, if we hang out, it’s generally a whole-family thing. Not a dads and kids alone thing.

[twinmomma]

DH has no friends with kids, so he basically tags along on whole family outings that I have set up through mom friends I meet at school. I had to get him to understand that his dad friends are never going to be the same as the lifelong friends that do all hobbies he does, but they're someone he can have a beer at a cookout with and it's still fun. He's finally coming around to that idea. I kind of forced a friendship on him because my co-chair at PTA is a dad and I hooked them up. lol

[waverly]

May 5, 2018 18:56:40 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

DH has no friends with kids, so he basically tags along on whole family outings that I have set up through mom friends I meet at school. I had to get him to understand that his dad friends are never going to be the same as the lifelong friends that do all hobbies he does, but they're someone he can have a beer at a cookout with and it's still fun. He's finally coming around to that idea. I kind of forced a friendship on him because my co-chair at PTA is a dad and I hooked them up. lol

That’s how he found his one friend because I hooked him up with my friends husband. Also I forgot they did shoot rockets a few times with just the guys and the kids. Another good activity if you have a boy. Girls too but more boys seem to do it.

[honeydew1894]

May 5, 2018 16:30:52 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Coaching sports together has been the first thing that worked best for DH. And yeah, if we hang out, it’s generally a whole-family thing. Not a dads and kids alone thing.

That is a really good idea!  We are open to family dates too.  He is just feeling sad that none of his friends will hang without their wives (like if I am busy and he has the kids alone).

[2chatter]

Adventure Guides helped - because it’s a dad and kid thing - the guys do other things with dads and kids.

[HeartofCheese]

Love this problem! You've got a great DH, honeydew1894.

Boy Scouts? Father and kid(s) camps or activities in your local area - especially over the summer? He could also go to your kids' school/daycare and ask for dad-centric activities that he could head up and recruit other dads to help with.

[ilovelucyvv]

Tell your H to take kid(s) to birthday parties by himself. Depending on the age group there may be both moms and dads that go to the party together or dads that go without mom because she has a new baby or busy with another event.

[186momx]

Sorry no help. Only time DH will go is if it is a family deal and then only to the kids that she become buds with during her daycare years. He wants nothing to do with making friends with anyone DD will hang with. I've come to enjoy the moms and we chat during stuff.

I agree with other that if he wants to make dad friends then he needs to take the kids to places where Dad's may take the kids solo. I think a lot of it is that most dad's that I know don't want to deal with the kids solo out and about.