Self Care 5/14

[cam]

How are things going?

Challenge: Think of something positive in your life each day (i.e. something going right, something you kicked butt at/on, a nice surprise you received, etc).

[freezorburn]

Last week was rough. DS had a couple of meltdowns that resulted in me getting hit and kicked. One meltdown happened when I tried to start his bedtime routine. The other was triggered by the mistake of getting a rectangular, rather than round, pizza crust. It's regressive behavior that I haven't seen in almost 3 years. He was really trying to hurt me and he wasn't sorry at all. I came away feeling more hurt emotionally than physically. My morale is low, and I'm feeling pretty defeated.

The Challenge is perfect for me -- when I talked to my therapist today, she reminded me that I needed to review all that I've done so far, and to give myself credit for the progress that we've made. It's hard. I wanted so badly this week to just send DS to live with his dad. I just want to feel safe in my home. I can't live with someone who hits me. I just can't.

[funchicken]

I'm sorry freezorburn, We went through a really rough patch last year with DD1 when she found out that her best friend was moving. She was devastated, and started acting out a lot.

Have you read The Explosive Child? It really helped us a few years ago. DH and DD were having lots of problems, and it was taking a toll on their relationship.

[sahara78]

I’m sorry, freezorburn. I hope your DS settles down. It’s hard to see your kid regress or develop new symptoms/behaviors. DD has started flapping her hands a bit, which feels like a neon ASD sign to everyone around.

The challenge is a good one for me. I feel like I’ve been screwed fertility issues, DD’s prematurity & special needs. I hate feeling resentful, but it’s really difficult to focus on the positive.

One positive for today: I worked over the weekend on preparing the vegetable beds in the backyard. DD said she was happy we were working in the garden again.

[funchicken]

DD1 has been home sick with a stomach virus this week, so that sucks. She was in kind of a bad mood on Sunday, and I think it's because she was feeling off.

I like this week's challenge, too. I'm going to try to pay attention to the small successes this week.

[waverly]

Not great. I have been fighting off a nasty infection now for about 5 weeks. Been to the doctor twice and called them once, so I am under care and feeling OK not life threatening. But it is just difficult.

The last few days have been pretty blah. My mom complained that our trip to visit interfered with her vacation plans (even though she invited us and specified the weekend), so she texted me and said she was wrong that her vacation plans were the following weekend, and that she is losing her mind. So at least she stopped complaining.

DH's flight was cancelled twice so he is not traveling this week, so that is good for me. So all the good things came out of bad things- not sure if that is good or bad?

[freezorburn]

Thank you funchicken, I haven't read the Explosive Child but I've heard it mentioned. I'll see if I can get my hands on a copy.

[funchicken]

May 16, 2018 3:34:43 GMT -5 freezorburn said:

Thank you funchicken , I haven't read the Explosive Child but I've heard it mentioned. I'll see if I can get my hands on a copy.

The book has this worksheet that I really liked because it has you try to specifically identify where the problems/conflicts are happening in your day, and then you try to work on them one at a time. When DH and I worked on this, it helped us see that there were quite a few places where things were going right. We started trying to work on the small difficulties first and feeling like we made progress with those made us feel more optimistic. 

The book isn't just for kids who are "explosive." It has good advice for kids with chronic inflexibility or who get upset easily. MGW collaborated with the author, Ross Greene, on some conferences last year because his ideas dovetail nicely with the Social Thinking approach.

[auntie]

May 16, 2018 7:08:06 GMT -5 funchicken said:

May 16, 2018 3:34:43 GMT -5 freezorburn said:

Thank you funchicken , I haven't read the Explosive Child but I've heard it mentioned. I'll see if I can get my hands on a copy.

The book has this worksheet that I really liked because it has you try to specifically identify where the problems/conflicts are happening in your day, and then you try to work on them one at a time. When DH and I worked on this, it helped us see that there were quite a few places where things were going right. We started trying to work on the small difficulties first and feeling like we made progress with those made us feel more optimistic. 

The book isn't just for kids who are "explosive." It has good advice for kids with chronic inflexibility or who get upset easily. MGW collaborated with the author, Ross Greene, on some conferences last year because his ideas dovetail nicely with the Social Thinking approach.

I love that book. 

DS has never had a meltdown in his entire life- but his inability to go along to get along was a real issue when he was younger. 

[freezorburn]

May 16, 2018 7:08:06 GMT -5 funchicken said:

May 16, 2018 3:34:43 GMT -5 freezorburn said:

Thank you funchicken , I haven't read the Explosive Child but I've heard it mentioned. I'll see if I can get my hands on a copy.

The book has this worksheet that I really liked because it has you try to specifically identify where the problems/conflicts are happening in your day, and then you try to work on them one at a time. When DH and I worked on this, it helped us see that there were quite a few places where things were going right. We started trying to work on the small difficulties first and feeling like we made progress with those made us feel more optimistic. 

The book isn't just for kids who are "explosive." It has good advice for kids with chronic inflexibility or who get upset easily. MGW collaborated with the author, Ross Greene, on some conferences last year because his ideas dovetail nicely with the Social Thinking approach.

Sounds perfect for us. Also looks like an editor pushed for a dramatic title rather than an accurate one. DS definitely struggles with inflexibility and gets triggered by things that most people would consider innocuous.


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[cam]

Hugs all around!