mommyatty , I think FIL is in denial that MIL will go back to 'normal' (whatever that is). I think the care needed for her is going to increase, not decrease. Honestly, I think MIL is on the path of a long decline. She can't do anything unassisted (including eating and standing up) and is still pretty confused on everything. DH is trying to set lower expectations, but FIL doesn't get it. All we can do now is watch and wait and provide assistance when needed. I'm not above calling the department of aging if the situation becomes unsafe for either of them.
I think the word Hospice scares people, but from what I have been told, Hospice can come in long before most people call them. They came for almost a year for my grandma. I have had two experiences with them, her and my dad. They were the most amazing people I have ever encountered in my life, as close to angels you will get on earth. I don't know how they screen for their employees, or if I just got lucky, but the staff I encountered were truly in the their calling and made life so much easier during a horrible time. I think the word Hospice scares people, but from what I have been told, Hospice can come in long before most people call them. They came for almost a year for my grandma. I have had two experiences with them, her and my dad. They were the most amazing people I have ever encountered in my life, as close to angels you will get on earth. I don't know how they screen for their employees, or if I just got lucky, but the staff I encountered were truly in the their calling and made life so much easier during a horrible time. Plus, once they are called, with dad, the restrictions on medications seem to ease off, they are all about making the patient as comfortable as possible.
TWERK- No word from the renter on if he is buying our place. I have heard he is looking for a backup plan. A mutual friend asked me if he paid the rent on time because he wanted to buy her place on contract. Um... no. Not going to lie, I like here and he is a huge pain when it comes to actually paying the rent.
Post by covergirl82 on Jun 1, 2018 10:02:31 GMT -5
polecat8, my coworker when through a similar situation with his dad when his step-mom was in a slow decline due to COPD. My co-worker's dad finally came around to the realization that his wife was not going to ever get better, but my coworker (and his wife, who's an RN) were instrumental in helping him through to that conclusion. My coworker ended up doing a lot of calls to the insurance company to determine coverage for different things (like hospice care) and set up a home health aide to come at night so my coworker's dad could actually get some sleep. All that to say, I think you and your H are doing the right thing, even though it's not an easy thing to do.
Another DDOT update - I had the conversation with the mom. Apparently DD1 told her friend that she overheard me say that friend was mean. Mom wanted to know if I said it. I said yes, and that DD didn't overhear it - I said it to her outright. It was on the tails of the kid getting up and leaving DD to eat lunch alone, again; and ignoring her when she tried to talk to her; and walking away when DD1 approached her. I told DD that these were not ways that friends and nice people behaved - it was the way mean people behaved. I was very blunt with the mother - I told her that I knew she'd witnessed the behavior and did nothing to stop it. Mom challenged me and said that her DD eats lunch alone sometimes. I agreed that was true, but that my DD said it was her choice to do so - that DD would ask to sit with her and be told to go away.
And the mom started to cry. Sounds like her DD had a year like my DD. So I told her we were leaving and why. Sh!tty teacher, Sh!tty administration, and, quite frankly, sh!tty kids. She said she was sad to see me go, but understood. She said she hoped our kids would still see each other. I didn't commit.
School ends next week (Friday, 6/8) and I'm so glad. I'm so over making lunches (I have to be gone or sick for DH to do them, so he packed lunches about 4 days this whole school year). Thankfully, the last 3 days of school are half days, so I only have 3 more days of packing lunches left.
I was also pumped for this...only to learn that DS needs lunch for camp even thought it ends at noon!?
mae0111 you’re such a boss! I’m super impressed! Good for you for telling the truth.
ETA: why in the world would she say she hoped your kids would still see each other? What about the conversation makes her think you would want to see her kid ever again?
shakinros I know right??? I told the story to my sister and she said “Oh stop it. She hopes the kids see each other over the summer, while your pool is open.”
Post by sweetptater on Jun 4, 2018 14:48:01 GMT -5
mae0111, Chiming in to say you are a serious badass. In my head I handle these things just like you. In reality, my voice is shaking and I'm trying not to cry.
mae0111 , Chiming in to say you are a serious badass. In my head I handle these things just like you. In reality, my voice is shaking and I'm trying not to cry.
Oh my voice was totally shaking and I was definitely trying not to cry.
mae0111, Chiming in to say you are a serious badass. In my head I handle these things just like you. In reality, my voice is shaking and I'm trying not to cry.