Super random Q

[shauni27]

Do any of you know of clinics that accept egg donations from women aged 33? Now that I have gone through IVF, I would love to be considered for egg donation, but mostly because of my DOR and my age no clinics I can find will accept me. I know I have DOR, but I still had 7 eggs removed during IVF that were all healthy and implanted. I am wondering if any clinic would consider me a candidate?



I just feel so thankful for IVF and our miracle and would love to help other people complete their families, but it seems like I am too "old" and "damaged," I guess?

[thoseareradishes]

I don't know exactly what my clinic requires when selecting egg donors; it is quite extensive though - involves medical, genetic, and psychological screenings. Thankfully everyone is screened prior to being accepted into the program - some clinics screen after the recipient chooses an egg donor, then the recipient has to pay for the testing and if the donor is ineligible, you are out that money. The costs for screening at my clinic are bundled into the overall cost, which includes her IVF cycle, my FET, and all the administrative costs, plus a donor fee that she gets directly (so quite a bit of money).

All that to say, I'm not going to choose an egg donor that isn't going to give me the best chance, considering all the money and emotional energy I'm putting out. I'm not going to choose a donor that also has DOR, you know what I mean?

I think you are wonderful though to want to give back to other families! I would totally pick you if kindness was most important!!

[shauni27]

That is really helpful, thoseareradishes. I guess I didn't fully understand the process which makes a BIG difference.

I wonder how else we could help this community? We donated our last embryo to IVF testing but that feels so indirect. We donated our unused meds to friends who were doing treatments to help cut down their costs, but again, it feels so insignificant, you know?

[Mushe]

shauni27, I think you can support the community by continuing to be open. It helps to hear more people be willing to share their stories openly.

I joked to H about being a surrogate a while ago, but it’s really the same as having DOR - who would have picked me? Lol

[scm1011]

Jun 8, 2018 11:37:37 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

I wonder how else we could help this community? We donated our last embryo to IVF testing but that feels so indirect. We donated our unused meds to friends who were doing treatments to help cut down their costs, but again, it feels so insignificant, you know?

This isn't insignificant. You are doing what you can. And by being vocal about your struggles here, on FB, and IRL, and offering kind loving support and encouragement (because you do!) you're doing A LOT. That is meaningfully contributing to the IF community, I promise. 

[shauni27]

Mushe, a friend of mine just finished being a surrogate and was paid $30K! She loved it.

In my dream situation I would start a consulting business to help families navigate infertility and loss. I would work with clinics and be a support person and guide to help families/women with all the steps they need to take, with the process, with grieving, etc. There is just not a market for it here.

[thoseareradishes]

What about doing walks/runs and raising money? Do you have a Resolve walk near you? I'm going to look into doing the March of Dimes (for E) and a walk that the doctors at the hospital I delivered at sponsor where all the money goes to child bereavement programs.

And I agree - just willing to be open about your IF is huge!

[Mushe]

Jun 8, 2018 14:01:42 GMT -5 thoseareradishes said:

What about doing walks/runs and raising money? Do you have a Resolve walk near you? I'm going to look into doing the March of Dimes (for E) and a walk that the doctors at the hospital I delivered at sponsor where all the money goes to child bereavement programs.

And I agree - just willing to be open about your IF is huge!

This is a fantastic idea!

[turboteal]

Another thought, do you know about the Infertility Family Research Registry? You can register there as a participant volunteer to provide information from your infertility experiences/treatment etc to be used in aggregate data by researchers. It's a way to give back to the community by providing data that may help shape research and treatment in the future. Aside from collecting your info they also have studies that they sometimes ask for volunteers, like recently one study about how IF affects stress levels and how patients/SOs deal with it or how interactions with the RE/providers affect the patient or another where they are trying to validate data reported to SART. It's iffr-registry.org if you want to check it out.

[mrsgoontz]

First of all, shauni27, you are so wonderful on so many levels. I can't tell you how many times your openness about your IF and overall thoughtfulness have impacted me.

I don't have any answers on the process as I haven't currently looked into it but wanted to chime in. I've also wondered about donating embryos as we have 2 left and probably only want to use one of them. I planned on asking about it when we go in for our next round of FET in a few years.