Where Do Babies Come From

[judyblume14]

DD1: Me and DD2 were in your belly when you and Daddy got married.
Judy: No, you weren't.
DD1: How did we get there?
Mr. Blume: **raises hand**
DD1: Daddy didn't cut your tummy open, right?
Judy: No.
DD1: So how did we get in there?
Judy: Mommy and Daddy love each other, so we hugged really tightly. Sometimes, that's how a baby gets in a mama's belly.


She'll be 4 in September. She was satisfied with my answer. Yesterday.  She is curious.  So now I'm curious. What are age-appropriate (but factual/honest) books about babies/bodies/consent that you read with your pre-schoolers?

I was blind-sided and had no idea what to say, but can proudly say that neither I nor my husband freaked out.

[waverly]

I don't know. Our conversation went kind of like ours, but she was more worried about how the baby got out rather than how the baby got in, so I didn't have to get into that part yet.

[helenahhandbasket]

My DD has been obsessed with bodies and parts since she was about that age.

We liked "It's Not The Stork". It has anatomical, age appropriate cartoon drawings and also does get into some "technical" stuff- like eggs, sperm, zygotes.

I also like that it talks about different kinds of families and appropriate touch.

[helenahhandbasket]

RE how the baby got in, I did say that the daddy seed and the mommy seed have to meet up but she didn't ask how that happens.

as an aside I will add that DD has been watching my stomach since the wedding- at times yelling "I SEE IT" and also trying to talk into my vagina like it is an intercom.

I am not pregnant.

[mommyatty]

helenahhandbasket- I’m screaming with laughter over here!

[callmekd]

we keep it really basic - dad and I made you. (she was especially curious when I was pregnant with N&E). we've also talked about the 2 different ways babies come out (and we use correct terms).

I also bought a book ('what makes a baby') - but we haven't read it yet (because she hasn't had any more questions).

[2chatter]

I went with vague “mommies and daddies make babies” level with my first. My second demanded more detail so we got into the growth of the baby more. DS and his sisters and DS and his friends discussed and pooled their knowledge around his age four. That culminated in eggs, sperm, the whole shebang. DS thinks sex involves penises and belly buttons. DD went through a phase of asking to park a toy boat in her vag during bath time. DH thinks it’s a great hiding place, possibly for iPhones when electronics are banned in our house. He went through a phase of asking when DD was going to “get her penis”.

I say all of this to say - be ready, kids will surprise you. And amuse you. And unless you are weird about it, you won’t mess it up.

[mommyatty]

DS, age 4, told me the other week that girls do too have penises because a vagina is a type of penis.

DD has been interested in how babies come out but not how they get in. I need to get a book because she’s not one to accept vague or easy answers.

[dglvrk2]

All of the above advice is great! I have nothing to add, but am so thankful for this post! DD1 is almost 7. She hasn't asked for specifics about the baby making process, but I'm sure the question is looming. She's asked about the various baby delivery methods...I try to give her straight forward answers...

The books recommended seem like great resources. Thanks again!

Side note: DD1 knows she was a C-section baby and I had a vaginal birth for her younger sister. As the three of us are getting dressed after swim lessons one evening she says - loudly enough for everyone in the shower room to hear- "the doctor had to cut Mom open to get me out, but, (sister), you were just a regular baby. You slid right out if Mom's vagina!"

[akafred]

2chatter, I sincerely hope it's your DS who is confused about the adequacy of a vagina as a hiding place and not your DH!

[akafred]

DD started asking at 4. I started vague:"Your birth mother and birth father made you and God helped." To which she asked, "Where did they get the skin?" We progressed to "the mommy has a tiny cell called an egg, and when it is fertilized by the daddy, it grows into two cells and then four cells and then a lot of cells and becomes a baby growing in the mommy." To "The daddy has a cell called a sperm that fertilizes the egg." When she was 6, she came home from school and asked, "When a mommy and daddy make a baby, does the penis go in the vagina?" I said yes, then asked where she heard that. Her friend at school. "Do you know who told your friend?" "Her mother." This girl's parents were both medical professionals; I know the dad is a nurse not sure about the mom. So I said it was so great that she talked to her parents about that because that is just who she should be talking about, just as you're talking to me now. And yes, they are correct because they are medical professionals like doctors and nurses. And said it'a not really something to tell other kids at school because the kids need to talk to their parents about it. Then answered any questions, which were things like WHERE do you do it? Um, what do you mean? Like do you do it in front of the doctor?

[judyblume14]

Jun 26, 2018 6:33:28 GMT -5 akafred said:

2chatter , I sincerely hope it's your DS who is confused about the adequacy of a vagina as a hiding place and not your DH!

LOL - I was thinking the same thing!!!

[judyblume14]

I bought "It's not the Stork" based on helenahhandbasket's recommendation, and I now remember hearing good reviews about that in local mom's FB group I'm in.

But akafred's post reminds me that I also want to talk to the girls (at a young age) about different ways that babies end up in a family (fertility treatments, adoption, step-families, etc).

I don't remember having ANY conversation with my parents about this, EVER. My brother and sister were adopted, I was not. I know we always "knew" that... but I don't remember a talk about sperm, eggs and foster-parenting?

[akafred]

Jun 26, 2018 7:51:24 GMT -5 judyblume14 said:

I bought "It's not the Stork" based on helenahhandbasket's recommendation, and I now remember hearing good reviews about that in local mom's FB group I'm in.

But akafred's post reminds me that I also want to talk to the girls (at a young age) about different ways that babies end up in a family (fertility treatments, adoption, step-families, etc).

I don't remember having ANY conversation with my parents about this, EVER. My brother and sister were adopted, I was not. I know we always "knew" that... but I don't remember a talk about sperm, eggs and foster-parenting?

Yes, please talk to your young kids about adoption and other less common ways families are built. When DD was in K, there was a boy in her class but was redshirted so a year ahead who just could NOT understand the concept of adoption and my relationship to DD. He kept asking her about her "real" mom and calling me the "stepmom." I don't blame him because obviously the concept was brand new to him, but it would have been so much better if his parents had read a single book about adoption or watched a single movie with an adopted character and simply told him that sometimes if a mommy can't take good care of a baby or child, they may be raised by someone else. With appropriate reassurances that this won't apply to them of course.

[mustardseed2007]

Jun 26, 2018 6:40:29 GMT -5 akafred said:

DD started asking at 4. I started vague:"Your birth mother and birth father made you and God helped." To which she asked, "Where did they get the skin?" We progressed to "the mommy has a tiny cell called an egg, and when it is fertilized by the daddy, it grows into two cells and then four cells and then a lot of cells and becomes a baby growing in the mommy." To "The daddy has a cell called a sperm that fertilizes the egg." When she was 6, she came home from school and asked, "When a mommy and daddy make a baby, does the penis go in the vagina?" I said yes, then asked where she heard that. Her friend at school. "Do you know who told your friend?" "Her mother." This girl's parents were both medical professionals; I know the dad is a nurse not sure about the mom. So I said it was so great that she talked to her parents about that because that is just who she should be talking about, just as you're talking to me now. And yes, they are correct because they are medical professionals like doctors and nurses. And said it'a not really something to tell other kids at school because the kids need to talk to their parents about it. Then answered any questions, which were things like WHERE do you do it? Um, what do you mean? Like do you do it in front of the doctor?

LOL. Good question girl! 

[judyblume14]

akafred, I had a former boss who always refered to my brother and sister as my step-siblings. And he'd make really weird remarks about my parents not being their "real" parents. I would get so defensive. All I could respond with was "well, they've known my parents longer than I have. And my parents PICKED them..and go stuck with me!"

[akafred]

That's so weird, Judy. I will give a pass to a 7 year old, but not a freaking adult!