Yet another birthday party question

[traveltheworld]

DS wants a party at home this year and wants to invite the whole class. I printed out all the invites and gave it to his kindergarten teacher to put in each child's bag on Monday. Then I realized I didn't put a "RSVP by" date. There's no class email list and I only know a few parents (those that I do know have already rsvp'ed). The party is in 2.5 weeks. I haven't received any other responses.

What do I do? Do I just assume that people will RSVP or decline at least a few days before the actual party? Ack, I'm already stressed.

[2chatter]

traveltheworld - if you asked for RSVPS by June 25 or June 33 you would get the exact same response: crickets, last minute RSVPs, requests to bring two siblings and three cousins and people showing up on the wrong day. Don’t worry about the lack of date, worry that manners are going to h in a hand basket or nothing at all! It will work out.

I’d reach out to the parents you do know and lock down a few kids for peace of mind.

[mellym]

I found that the RSVP date didn't really mean much to many. Those that came let me know at least a few days ahead of time. The ones that I didn't hear from didn't show up.

[186momx]

Last week's party. My Facebook invites from all our old family friends came in quick. 5 school kids who got paper invites I got 1 RSVP yes the afternoon before the party, the other 4 nothing and they didn't show.

I didn't do gift bags or have take home goodies for the kids but we did paint rocks and they were more than welcome to take the art home. I made 20 cupcakes and a pan of brownies just in case and the 11 kids ate everything I had. I had 3 cupcakes left, no brownies, and no watermelon (they ate the entire giant watermelon).

traveltheworld, I'm really glad I went low key and had minimal decorations as the kids didn't notice and entertained themselves without me planning 20 different games.

[waverly]

I have decided that RSVPs are a complete s$%# show. I had a date, and most of mine came in by that date, but I even had some the day before. I had some say they were coming and no show no text. I had some who never responded. It is seriously the worst part of throwing a birthday party. I can't believe I am considering another party for DD.


Also, to derail the thread any ideas how I can transition into just having 1-2 friends over our house?  DS is turning 8, so I feel like that should happen, but he has only had 1 drop off play date and the mom hovered the whole time (which was fine), but it seems that he doesn't have a BFF or even kids he has known a long time are not inviting him or dropping their kids off. I don't think it is because they don't like him or trust us, I think the families we know are kind of possessive of their kids and time.

Maybe it was different for me when I was a kid because I was the youngest, so I had built in sibling friends. Or maybe because back then there were more SAHMs that weren't possessive of their kid like maybe WP want to see their kids more on the weekends. But then again I find a lot of the SAHMs only want to get together at 10 am on Tuesday because weekend is their husband/ whole family time. I guess nothing wrong with that, but I can't get together with you at 10 am on a Tuesday, so I guess we are not friends....

ETA- maybe I need to have a party at the house, but only invite maybe 5 boys?  Instead of 2 and that way get 2-3 to show up? 

[186momx]

waverly, After DD's party Saturday I broke the new that this was her last big party and from now on it was going to be a more intimate get together and she said okay. I actually think having a party with 3 different groups of friends was really hard for her to deal with social wise. She wanted to play with her gym friends but had a hard time incorporating her old daycare buds into it and then only 1 kid from school showed so that was just awkward all around.
I'm guessing the 2 friend party will end up being with her sports friends. Us mom's now know each other now after many hours of visiting during practice, are comfortable dropping off our kids together at the gym, and already carpool/pickups when needed.

The 1 kid from school was the mom who stayed and as glued to her kid. Complained about me not using washable paint, about having homemade cupcakes, not letting her daughter take her shoes off to play with the other kids, pulling me aside and asking for DD to open her gift as they had to go. I wasn't going to open gifts at all but then got forced into it. Mom was all excited about playdates this summer but stated that I had to stay and she would stay if we hosted. It totally rubbed me wrong and I'm not going to instigate playdates and if she asks I'm going to suggest public places instead (DD is going to rec swim on X as a kind of open invite). I'm ready for drop off stuff and no more forced chit chat that I'm not good at anyways.

[2chatter]

DD and I are going to Chicago again for her 11th in September. She will have 3-4 girls sleep over. So....the trip instead of party thing worked here.

DS meanwhile...is a couple years from choosing the trip, I think. I’m betting at 8 he will choose the trip and do a small party.

The other option is go high dollar like a concert or sports game or something and cap it at a couple kids.

And the whole family time thing makes me
batty. I have two super social kids so I gave up on that notion, but a couple of their would-be-closer friends do tons and tons and tons of family time and it’s so like you said - then they are like can they play 1:15-2:30 on a random Sunday and I am like, no, actually. Ugh!!!

[waverly]

We could do water park trip instead of party. Good idea.

And maybe boys dont get together with friends as much as girls? I feel like the moms are a bit like we should get together and then never go beyond that. I’ve tried a couple of time but don’t want to always be the one suggesting play dates.

[traveltheworld]

waverly, I feel the same way. Since we've moved here a year ago and lost all of our old friends, I've made more of an effort to reach out to DS's kindergarten friend's families. I've invited two families over for dinner. I felt we had a good time, but neither has reciprocated, so...

DS's play dates are all during the week, and our nanny takes him. I don't know how moms who work and don't have a nanny can manage play dates. Maybe the kids will just grt together themselves once they are older?

[honeydew1894]

UGH. That is frustrating. The good news is that it is at your home so you won't end up paying for spots, I guess?!

[sunbutter]

traveltheworld - I would assume that those that don’t rsvp aren’t coming. I would be really surprised otherwise.

Also, I’m a working mom without a nanny. Our play dates are all on the weekends cause my kids are booked during the week with either camp or school. Parents in our community actually welcome and beg for play dates cause it helps entertain their kids. And most parents stopped staying during by kindergarten.

waverly - l vote either a sleepover or a trip. We have been doing that for DS for a number of years. We also convinced DD (6) to do a birthday “weekend” of fun rather than a party. So hibachi, mani/pedi, a movie, cake & presents was all it took.

[waverly]

sunbutter, I don't think any of the kids parents will let them sleep over, I guess is what I was saying. I am not sure if we will even get enough to do a drop off party unless I invite a bigger block of kids rather than the 2 friends idea.

It might have to be a trip or the weekend of fun. I like that idea.

[sunbutter]

Jun 21, 2018 8:46:32 GMT -5 waverly said:

sunbutter, I don't think any of the kids parents will let them sleep over, I guess is what I was saying. I am not sure if we will even get enough to do a drop off party unless I invite a bigger block of kids rather than the 2 friends idea.

It might have to be a trip or the weekend of fun. I like that idea.

Somebody has to be the first in the group for a sleepover. It doesn’t have to be more than one kid for it to be fun. I wouldn’t rule it out for future years.