Help! Nap related

[cherryvalance]

This will probably be long because I'm anxious as hell over this. 

DS is a few days shy of 11 months.  He is a great sleeper, but has really taken a turn with napping and I'm at my wits end already.  I need to know what I should be doing differently. I'm so stressed over him not getting enough sleep and what long term effects that will have on him.


Background:

My mom watches him full time. It's hit or miss when or how long he will nap at her house; at one point, she wasn't even putting him down for naps because she "didn't think he was tired" (my instruction schedule said "nap when tired" when he was younger).  We cleared that up and discussed how important daytime sleep is, especially since he can only sleep in until 5:30 am when we leave for work.  He sleeps in a pack-n-play there with a sound machine.  She says he's been sleeping about 3-4 hours/day the past few weeks. 

At home, he naps in his bedroom with the room darkened, a sound machine and fan on, and his star projector (mimicking night time routine).  

He had an AWFUL weekend of barely napping.  Since I'm off this week, I'm trying to get him on a schedule for when I go to summer work next week and my mom takes him back.  He napped like an angel yesterday (2 hours in the morning, 1 in the afternoon), but only 45 minutes this morning and is still rolling around in his crib, standing up and whining now (put him down about 25 minutes ago). 

He's such a beautiful, happy, easy baby when he sleeps.  He's incredibly difficult when he's tired and won't go down.  My gut says he can't move to just one long nap because of how he acts. I know it might partially be hormones, but I'm losing my mind over here. 

[loira]

Ah, I was going to suggest moving him to 1 nap, but if you think he's not ready then go with your gut. It was pretty much around 11-12 months that A dropped her morning nap. The first couple of weeks were a bit rough, but I moved up her afternoon time to noon rather than 1pm. As she's gotten older, it's been pushed back to 1pm. She generally sleeps from 8pm - 7am at night.

[cherryvalance]

I'm not opposed to dropping one nap, but he only sleeps from 7 pm to 6 am (5:30 am during the school year). That just seems like way too little sleep to me. Don't they need 13-14 hours of sleep a day?

I'm reading that some of this--only sleeping for 45 minutes, refusing to go down, could be signs that he's ready to drop to one nap. I'm just afraid he won't sleep for a solid 2-3 hours.

I feel like I've just totally screwed him up because while we followed eat-play-sleep, we only ever fed and napped on demand. Now I feel like he's got terrible sleep habits and it's my fault.

[loira]

cherryvalance, we fed and napped on demand too. But I think around that age there began to emerge a natural "schedule" to A's sleepiness.

[cherryvalance]

Jun 26, 2018 13:06:47 GMT -5 spearmintleaf said:

Your baby is FINE! ❤️

I'd drop to one nap. Expect him to go to bed a little earlier for a while. He will probably sleep 60-90 minutes during the day and sleep about 30 minutes earlier at night.

Thanks, I really appreciate hearing that.  

Okay, so maybe I'll try to put him down around 12, then to sleep at about 6:30? 

[pooh8402]

Yea this is about the age that E dropped to one nap, at least at daycare. And he took 2-2.5 hour naps at daycare. It took a bit longer to drop to one nap at home on the weekends, but it was definitely before 18 months.

[cherryvalance]

Okay, thank you all. I'm going to try one nap tomorrow and see how it goes.

[lo]

My baby started to try and drop a nap at 11 months but I resisted for a month or so. She was on a one nap schedule by a year and it’s worked out SO much better. It did take a month or so for the one nap to lengthen. She definitely had many days where she slept for 45 mins and those days sucked, but she’s sleeping 2+ hours now. She wakes up around 645-730 and is ready for a nap by 11, and I usually try and push it to 11:30. She’s ready for bed by 6 and is usually ptfo by 615.

[thoseareradishes]

I'm not sure I would jump right to one nap before trying to tweak wake times. If he gets up at 6am, and you don't put him down until noon, that's a 6 hour wake time which seems really long. What time do you usually put him down for his first nap? E is 12 months adjusted and typically does 3-3.5 hour wake times.

I will say though that she seems to need quite a bit of sleep, between being a preemie, her recent surgery, and possibly nature, heh. But last week when she had to do just one nap due to an appt, she was a disaster for like 3 days.

Is he getting any new teeth? That always messes up sleep for us.

[cherryvalance]

lo, thanks for the warning about napping being shorter at first. It's so hard when you're like, "You're tired, we both know it, I know what will help you, just sleep!" and they won't.

thoseareradishes, we're adjusting all over the place. When he's up at 5:30 during the school year, he's generally ready for a nap around 8ish. Yesterday, he fell asleep at 8:15. That's part of the reason I've been resistant to dropping a nap--it's such a long time to be up, and then he's so wound up. He went down again at about 2:30 for the afternoon. He wouldn't go down before that.

He did recently cut two teeth (finally up to four, lol!) and he might be getting one or two more. He also had a long night on Thursday.

[thoseareradishes]

I get E up at the same time, every day, even weekends (which sucks). That way I always know about what time she will eat and nap. So if you get him up at 6, first nap would be around 9, then nap 2 around 2, and bed at 7. So that gives you wake times of 3/3/4 with 3 hours of napping. Maybe something to try for a couple of days.

[King26]

J only sleeps 12 hours a day. He's always been at the low end of what sleep is needed. He sleeps 9 to 10 hours at night then 2 to 3 hours split between 2 naps. They say 14 hours a day but honestly j has never slept that long since he was maybe 2 or 3 months old. Some kids just sleep more some sleep less

[King26]

Also, I go by wake times instead of a set nap schedule. J is up for 3 hours from wake up to first nap then 4 hours in between first and second nap. His bedtime is between 730 and 8.

[cherryvalance]

King26, that does make me feel better. I'm sure I'll feel better after his 12 month well check, too, because I'm pretty sure his doctor will say the same. She's pretty great with advising us to follow E's cues.

[shauni27]

huh, I would never think to drop to just one nap--we seem so far from that right now. S is 11 months and still really needs two naps a day. the length of the naps really varies though--at daycare he often does just 2 30 minute naps. At home he will do an hour in the AM and 2 in the afternoon.

Also, remember that this sounds like this is a new change for him, the going from 3-4 hour naps to fussing and only doing 45 minutes. There might be something going on. Do not give up or change your routine on one or two bad days, you know?

[cherryvalance]

Good advice, shauni27.

He did manage to nap an hour and a half this morning and this afternoon, so he's in great spirits now.

Now, who are these magical babies that sleep until 7 or 8 and how do I get one of those?

[pooh8402]

Jun 27, 2018 14:59:51 GMT -5 cherryvalance said:

Good advice, shauni27.

He did manage to nap an hour and a half this morning and this afternoon, so he's in great spirits now.

Now, who are these magical babies that sleep until 7 or 8 and how do I get one of those?

That's great sleep!

And shoot, I don't know. E has never been a great sleeper. I have a friend, her son would wake at 9a, nap from 1-3 or 4, then go to bed at 9p. She was a SAHM, so she did her housework in the morning while he was sleeping, or during nap. I was super jealous. She was a super pinteresty mom too, and that sleep allowed her to actually do all of her crafts.

[shauni27]

Glad to hear he napped better today!

S is usually up between 6:15-6:30, but twice in the last week he slept until 7:30–and since he is our alarm for work (lol), we were all late!

[cherryvalance]

pooh8402, shit, I kind of want to wish that none of her bread rises or something, lol!

shauni27, oh no! I know I could never rely on E because the second we don't want him to sleep in, he'd probably sleep until 10.