what do you do when your spouse does not support breastfeeding?
He supports using breast milk but he is fustrated that we don't know how much she is eating and then wants to eat for about 3 hours straight from about 7-10
I don't know if I should exclusively pump. Ignore him or switch to formula.
Edited because auto correct is getting the best of me
Post by supertrooper1 on Jul 4, 2018 11:35:02 GMT -5
Ignore him. As long as the baby is gaining weight, she is eating enough.
If he is really concerned, you can buy a scale and do weighed feeding. We bought one on Amazon for $50 because we had concerns about DS not eating enough and not gaining weight.
Ignore him. DD cluster feed all the time the pediatrician said it was normal. It drove me crazy but she slept 6 to 7 hours at night probably due to her eating from 4 to 7pm LOL
I agree with supertrooper1. If you get the scale you can weigh immediately before and after feedings to understand how much the baby ate. If he can see the numbers, he might relax a bit.
My H was pro breastfeeding and went to a class. But it turned out due to prematurity DS had a poor latch and milk transfer, so I had to pump. Exclusively pumping suck so so so much- dont do it if you can at all avoid it.
Plus DH would them tell me I had to pump more because it wasn’t enough milk after I had already pumped for 30 minutes, and I wanted to kill him.
The next baby I had was an expert nurser. I kicked DH’s opinion out the door like when he suggested I pump one bottle at night. It’s like pregnancy. Your body your choice.
If baby isn’t gaining them I would work with an LC but sounds like you are doing good. One trick if anyone is concerned is weigh baby on baby scale then nurse then weigh again. The difference in ounces is how much she is getting. I probably wouldn’t do this during cluster feeding since I think the point is for them to get less over a longer period of time.
If your H needs any help point him to Kellymom.com for cluster feeding.
Post by freezorburn on Jul 4, 2018 13:16:56 GMT -5
If BF is going well, I would not try to fix what ain’t broke. But I would not ignore YH’s concerns either, in the sense that perhaps he needs to be educated.
Pumping is one of those things ... it’s great that it is available as an option, but not everyone can do it successfully. Plus I found it was a lot of work to keep everything clean, deal with storage and bottle training, etc. And when DS struggled to bottle feed, a lot of milk would get wasted.
I don’t think we mean ignore in terms of his concerns. But more ignore in terms of if it working for baby and mom then don’t change it because fathers definitely have the right to interfere if baby isnt getting enough food. But the breastfeeding relationship is so precarious at the beginning that if we take their suggestions into consideration it could cause a problem with breastfeeding.
Sometimes they have good suggestions but from a breastfeeding point of view pumping or formula is not a good idea unless mom is wanting to formula feed or baby was having problems nursing.
We supplement with formula. Both my kids lost a lot of weight at the hospital. I gave up on nursing my son after about 3-4 months because it was so hard and again DH isn't sold on it.
DD also had blood sugar level issues so we had to give her formula in the hospital.
I'm trying to go six months with her and we are close to dropping formula completely. We are down to about 4 ounces a day. We were closer to 12.
I'm going to ignore for now. I feel like we are so close. Don't want to quit now.
Ignore him. If you’re concerned you can buy a baby scale and do weighed feedings. Dh and I Are both numbers people so we liked knowing for sure all was well.
Also team ignore. And hopefully not offending anyone here but be careful what book you hand him, if you do. We were with a three week old that wasn’t fed on demand (three hour schedule strictly enforced). He was hungry before the timer went off and I had to go outside to escape the screaming. I vaguely remember this being a thing, it just wasn’t a thing I did.
You could also let him change every wet and dirty diaper, haha, input output might illustrate it for him.
So his concern isn't so much that she isn't getting enough. It is that she is getting too much at one time. We were told that with DS that babies won't over eat and DS did. He would eat so much he would be throwing up bottles worth of food. We fed him on demand.
We are feeding her on demand as well and so far she has not been over eating. But the cluster feeding was throwing him because he was afraid we were feeding her too much and she would be sick.
Post by erinshelley21 on Jul 5, 2018 9:11:23 GMT -5
I think it's easier for babies to over eat or be overfed when they are bottle fed, plus it takes longer for a baby to eat 2 or 3 oz from the boob than it does from the bottle. Your DS could have eaten too much too quickly where your DD could be eating the same amount during her hours cluster feeding.
If she is gaining slowly then she isn't being overfed and if you like and trust your pedi and he/she isn't concerned then I wouldn't be either.
Has YH gone to your checkups with you? Maybe if he hears directly from your pedi that there isn't any reason to be concerned over weight gain, he'll be less worried about it.
I agree with erinshelley21 , it is far more likely for a baby to overeat with a bottle than with breastfeeding. With a bottle they kind of have no choice but to swallow the milk if it is angled high and have a fast flow nipple.
If you are still supplementing or for pumped milk when you go back to work/ leave baby, go far a lower flow nipple which mimicks the breastfeeding better, and check out paced bottle feeding. There are you tube vidoes on it. The paced bottle feeding should help baby keep from overeating.
Could your DS also have had acid reflux, or was it totally due to overeating? Some babies are just thrower uppers, spitter uppers. And some aren't. DS was never a problem with throwing up even though he was my nursing problem child, but DD would throw up every time she coughed. Poor her, and me because it would end up down my shirt.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jul 5, 2018 10:09:26 GMT -5
Ignore him. If you have a smart pediatrician who supports breastfeeding (some old school ones are dumb) then bring him to appointments with you so he can hear how well you're doing.
Post by helenahhandbasket on Jul 5, 2018 13:25:49 GMT -5
I did not breastfeed, but this feels like a really personal decision and I don;t think YH should have much of a say (so long as baby is gaining and healthy).
I like the suggestion made by k3am, for him to come along to an appointment and address any concerns to the pedi.
Post by vavavictoria on Jul 5, 2018 13:35:57 GMT -5
Plus one to everyone who says babies don’t overfeed when breastfed. Cluster feeding is totally normal. My first did it for the same amount of time you are talking about.
Also cluster feeding like that is improving your supply which is another reason not to stop. Annnnd if you start pumping instead of letting baby control the quantity your supply might decrease.
I do feel that H’s get some say but only some. In the end, if baby is a healthy weight and you don’t mind being stuck with a baby attached to you for three hours keep on keepin on.
So his concern isn't so much that she isn't getting enough. It is that she is getting too much at one time. We were told that with DS that babies won't over eat and DS did. He would eat so much he would be throwing up bottles worth of food. We fed him on demand.
We are feeding her on demand as well and so far she has not been over eating. But the cluster feeding was throwing him because he was afraid we were feeding her too much and she would be sick.
I might also tell him that you get where he is coming from and his concern is totally legit. BUT at the moment, she is showing no signs of overfeeding. If she does begin to do so, then you can start to take measures to prevent it. For now, it seems like a non issue.