Next Generation's Body Image / Kind of MU-R

[secretlyevil]

I took three nieces shopping Tuesday. The ages are 10 & 12. It was fun, educational and a little heartbreaking too. We went to Kohls and the elder of the two 12 year olds is very mellow and unapologetically herself, so is the 10 year old (most of the time). The other 12 year old, I see pretty much once a year as she lives out of state. She seems to have some self-image challenges. Shopping was actually her b-day present since her b-day is later this month. Anyway, we were in the beauty section and she starts talking about how her eyebrows are the worst and she needs to work on them and then she just started in on herself, than the 10 year old, feeding off of A, started in on herself. My jaw just dropped. Then J, the older 12 year old, literally said "my eyebrows are fine just the way they are." I don't know if I handled the situation very well. I told the two that were being negative to stop. "You guys are gorgeous, kind, smart and funny. You're great just the way you are. You're just kids and aren't even done growing, be happy with the way you are." 

The whole situation was a bit eye-opening. How do 12 year olds know about eyebrows and how do we counteract this body negativity in CHILDREN?!? They all stayed at my place overnight and when I was getting ready for the day, all I could hear in the back of my mind was A talking about how her eyebrows were the worst. Really killed the joy I usually have when I am applying my makeup.

[SallyJ]

Youtube. It's where they most likely get it from. I think you did great at reinforcing what you see in them. I'm sure you are aware that they may not always see what you see. When I have friends who have negative self talk I remind them that if they respect me and admire my opinions then they won't discount my opinion when I tell them they are beautiful, smart, funny, etc. I tell them to think of my voice when their own becomes too negative.

My DD isn't into hair/makeup/beauty youtubers, rather she seems to like watching stuff about the military and history. She once told me that the titanic didn't sink because of an iceberg, but because of a fire on the back side that nobody could see. We had to talk about conspiracy theories, fact vs. fiction, and the ability to manipulate truth on the internet. That led to conversations about fake videos and fake photos, at which point I pulled up photoshop and showed them how easy it was to manipulate a real photo. We then talked about how to look and think critically with information we are presented on the internet - how does that compare to the real world we see everyday?

As for body image, one of the most amazing things my mom did for me (despite all her faults and shitty parenting) was to tell me to look in the mirror and find one thing I think is beautiful about myself, and from that point forward it was the only thing I should focus on when I look in the mirror. As I have gotten older, I found so many more things about myself that are beautiful and I only see those things when I look in a mirror. I've since done the same thing with my own children.

As for makeup specifically, I constantly tell my children it's my version of an adult coloring book. I do it because I love playing and being creative. I've let them do my makeup and I've done theirs so they know the fun in it, rather than it being about me looking better with or without makeup.

[persa]

Yes, YouTube. My 11 yr old niece is getting into makeup which is fine and I actually thought it was sweet that she told her mom that she wants her makeup to look like "Aunt Persa's" Makeup.

I gave her a bunch of brushes and my UD Alice in Wonderland palette to play with just before they moved away. Anyway she made some comment about needing concealer because she has dark circles and I'm all, um no you don't because you're ELEVEN!!

[persa]

It's not even the super young ones, everyone is influenced by what they see on YouTube. I spend a lot of time on Reddit makeup boards and see what the girls say about makeup. The comments that's struck me the most where ones about glass skin and glossy lips being more popular now, where they were talking about how relieved they were that they were "allowed" to do their makeup like that now. Whaaa?

[secretlyevil]

I want to help A more but haven't come up with any good ideas yet. Being far away seems to be a big block. I don't want to come across as lecturing. ::le sigh:: I jokingly told one of my SILs I wasn't sure I would survive the teenage years (before shopping trip!) and she laughed at me and said, "you're helping me survive them!" Kids are terrifying y'all - you parents are so brave.

[Pippin]

Jul 6, 2018 12:41:07 GMT -5 secretlyevil said:

I want to help A more but haven't come up with any good ideas yet. Being far away seems to be a big block. I don't want to come across as lecturing. ::le sigh:: I jokingly told one of my SILs I wasn't sure I would survive the teenage years (before shopping trip!) and she laughed at me and said, "you're helping me survive them!" Kids are terrifying y'all - you parents are so brave.

I don’t have a teen yet but maybe talking about how trends change could be helpful. I used to feel like my bushy brows were horrible as a teen when the plucked to death brows were in. Now my brows are totally in. What does she say she hates about them? Maybe just help her with a very basic grooming routine would help. Just combing through my brows quick helps them look more put together and I have to pluck a few stray hairs to avoid a unibrow.

I keep hoping the instagram brows trend will finally die. It looks soooo bad in real life.

[MrsAxilla]

Jul 6, 2018 12:35:24 GMT -5 persa said:

It's not even the super young ones, everyone is influenced by what they see on YouTube. I spend a lot of time on Reddit makeup boards and see what the girls say about makeup. The comments that's struck me the most where ones about glass skin and glossy lips being more popular now, where they were talking about how relieved they were that they were "allowed" to do their makeup like that now. Whaaa?

What is glass skin?

[persa]

Jul 8, 2018 11:43:03 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

Jul 6, 2018 12:35:24 GMT -5 persa said:

It's not even the super young ones, everyone is influenced by what they see on YouTube. I spend a lot of time on Reddit makeup boards and see what the girls say about makeup. The comments that's struck me the most where ones about glass skin and glossy lips being more popular now, where they were talking about how relieved they were that they were "allowed" to do their makeup like that now. Whaaa?

What is glass skin?

It's the new trend in foundation coverage, I think it comes from Asian Beauty. Basically your skin/foundation is applied smooth and dewy and glowy to where it looks like your skin is made of glass. Skincare is a big part of it as well.

I think the most well know YT tutorial is from Mariah Leonard but there are some other ones around too.