never2amazing - last name

[hlke]

From the poll of the day thread:

Sept 18, 2012 11:32:10 GMT -5 never2amazing said:

The only way I am leaving my bunch is feet first...anyway, we are the only four in the world with our unique last name and I ain't giving that up...*smile*

Mind sharing a bit more? I would love to have a family last name but it's been a challenge to figure out. C publishes under her last name, I have a hyphenated last name I'm somewhat attached to, and I'm open to new ideas.

[never2amazing]

Nothing much really. C has a unique last name, mine is quite common, however hyphenated together made our name one of a kind (I literally researched it :-) ) . Also, remember that with any official name change you get to pick the name...that's the fun of it! Good luck!

[thiswillbe]

::butting in:: since, well, I have the same last name

I had a hyphenated last name prior to the name change, too. What we did was that I dropped one part of my last name (well, moved it to be a 2nd middle name since I didn't want to delete it entirely) and picked up hers, and she added the 2nd part of my last name.

So I was A.B.C-D and S was X.Y.Z. I became A.B.C.Z-D, and S became X.Y.Z-D.

It was a difficult decision for both of us at the time (not sure if S would want to elaborate on that or not). I'm glad we did it, though. It's pretty awesome to hear our kids say our shared last name. (Especially now that they're almost done with their phase of following it up with "poo poo," lol!)

[hlke]

Ah...glad you managed to solve the intergenerational hyphenating problem! How'd you pick which part of your name? I'm more connected to my family on my mother's side, but I feel guilty at the thought of dropping my Dad's name.

Honestly the main thing that is holding us up is consistent publication names, which I think is a bunch of crap but C is pretty concerned about. We've both published under our names and are enough into our careers that our name is attached to a reputation somewhat. It's funny though, in my field people change names without it being a big deal, while in her field it is JUST. NOT. DONE. I proposed that since she's the one who doesn't want to change it, that the theoretical kids can just have my last name, but THAT didn't go over well.

Although I did have a former assistant surgeon general tell me he thought hyphenated names were problematic and I should get rid of mine. And it's occasionally weird as an adult to explain that yes, I'm married, but both my last names are my parents' names. In all honesty, the only option that's on the table right now is me changing my name to hers. All the academic straight parents we know don't change their names and just give the kids the dad's name.

I'm guessing since S has an older child that was part of the difficulty, which seems like a better reason than three publications (now seven, but three when we got married).

Sorry, now I'm just venting.

[2brides]

I have these worries with my kids. We have them our last names and hyphenated them. Thankfully, both are pretty short and unwieldy, but already we find people dropping the 2nd name (L's last name) and in an attempt to cut corners, Carter often signs his stuff "Carter A. vs Carter A.B." This is hurting L's feelings - though it is no way a reflection on her and we just ordered our names on how they sounded best.

[rikkiandjulie]

I took Julie's name as my last name. We then took my last name and added it as a second middle name for each of us. I took her name simply bc it's a name known in our home town and has an incredibly good reputation. There is a major hwy in town with the name, just to give you an idea. Also it's rare only 300 ppl alive have the name. My bil and J can no nearly all but 20. I also wanted my kids to have the same name as us and cousins. I have two sisters so their are changing their names anyways I'd assume.

Fwiw our kids will take Js last name. My maiden name as a middle is only for us.


Rikki-iPhone

[hlke]

Sept 19, 2012 10:50:07 GMT -5 2brides said:

I have these worries with my kids. We have them our last names and hyphenated them. Thankfully, both are pretty short and unwieldy, but already we find people dropping the 2nd name (L's last name) and in an attempt to cut corners, Carter often signs his stuff "Carter A. vs Carter A.B." This is hurting L's feelings - though it is no way a reflection on her and we just ordered our names on how they sounded best.

Honestly, people do occasionally shorten to the first name, but I would say over 32 years I've been called by my second last name as often as my first last name. My work email address is only my first last name, which bothers me a bit. It used to really bother my mom if people used only my dad's name though.

My best friend from childhood is also hyphenated and his wife took his hyphenated last name. It seems to be working for them, so I don't think it's a big deal for everyone.

[kershnic]

We merged our last names. I feel like a wacky hippy explaining it, but it was the only decision that sat well for us. So say my last name was Smith and hers was Jones, our name now is Smones. Sorta like that. We also googled and there are some references to the resulting name but very few. But we feel it looks like a 'real' name. I also have a friend who she and her wife just made up a name. I think it has some rationale behind it that I can't remember, but it has nothing to do with either of their maiden names.

[joyseattle]

I changed my previously hyphenated name to include C's last name. So I'm was Joy MxxXxxxxx- MxxXxxxxx-Rxxxxx and I'm now Joy MxxXxxxxx-Uxxxx. C kept her last name and our kids will have the hyphenated last name. It was easier for me because I was more attached to my last name on my mom's side, but I do miss the Rxxxxx name a bit when I'm with my sibs that have it. I've published under both Joy MxxXxxxxx and Joy MxxXxxxxx-Uxxxx, and use Joy MxxXxxxxx exclusively for business. I think whatever you decide to do, you can make it work.