Random gripe: For 5 years, I’ve been dealing with poorly planned, badly phased construction on some of the major freeways I have to travel. The “fixes” have actually made traffic worse, not better, even for the finished parts. Today the last part of an express/toll lane is supposed to open that could possibly maybe make my life easier. And tonight there’s a public meeting about ripping up the three main highways that run right by our house, simultaneously. So I guess I get another 5-7 years of this shit? How did I get so lucky. #TxDOTsucks
I smell like cows, I took my graduate students to a dairy barn today as part of some research we are doing. Now I am in my office, and the smell of cow is strong.
Post by covergirl82 on Jul 19, 2018 10:52:54 GMT -5
mommyatty, that's nuts that they are ripping up 3 main highways in one location simultaneously. I can relate to road construction irritation. They are completely rebuilding 6 miles of highway on the highway I take to get to work, including the exit I use to get on. We really need 3 lanes to accommodate commuter and holiday traffic, but did they include that in this current rebuild? No. I'm so mad about it.
DDOT: DS is 9 today! We're having his party tonight - all his friends we invited are able to come, except one. It's at a laser tag place, and then 3 friends are coming over for a sleepover. Pray for me - we've never had a sleepover with 4 boys. Also, I'm feeling some self-pity today about how much I miss of my kids growing up because of working full-time. Maybe part of it is that summers are harder, because they aren't in school and there is so much I'd like to do with them that I just don't have time for because of work.
TWERK: I haven't heard anything from the recruiter for the job I applied to over the weekend. I'm hoping it's because he's on vacation and not because he doesn't want to talk to me about the job...
The saga of the nieces and nephews continues. Mom has declared we are all going out to eat tonight. I am sure she is expecting my brother to pay for her, as I will not. No one wants to go. My brother and DH want to barbeque chickens. The kids could care less. So we are going why? I told my brother to get us out of it, because he is the golden child, which is well known. He did not seem super inclined.
We all ate burgers, except for mom, at my house last night. We had a good time. However, my 6 year old nephew snapped my pink dogwood in half. He said because he wanted to. My brother was super mad, but I tried to play it off. It was a gift when my dad died and had wanted one for a while. Sigh.
My kids are at camp at their new school this week. It's a very small group - 12 kids at the whole camp. It's just arts and crafts, playing outside, board games, etc. for a few hours. I signed them up hoping they might meet a couple of kids from their classes, and they did.
They have come home every day happy. I mean, almost bursting they're so happy. Giggly, private jokes between them, talking all about the kids they met. DD1 is like a different kid. She's just so, so happy. When I would pick her up from school last year, she would always come out with a slightly sad, very worried look on her face. She would run out and grab me for a hug every day, almost like she was glad for the reprieve from her crazy teacher and awful peers. Now she comes running out excited to tell me about her day, and about her friends.
I just scheduled my dog’s end of life for next Tuesday. I feel literally like I am going to throw up. I’d like to bury her on our creek but that means I would have to bring her body home and dig the hole. I don’t know if I CAN do that and DH will be out of town so it would definitely be all me.
The only thing DD has texted me from camp is to ask for a pic of the dog. I knew this had to be affecting her but stoic doesn’t even begin to describe my oldest until she breaks.
Random: Last night I dug through a college box looking for pics of me in the dorm DD is staying in - and discovered a full shoebox of love letters from every boy I dated senior year of HS through part of college (weirdly minus my serious BF, I am wondering if there is legit a totally separate box for him). I’m so sad that my kids won’t ever have USPS delivered mail from SOs who are away, felt compelled to write their feelings, or even just handwritten letters I was given face to face (one from a boy that goes on and begs me to forgive him and give him another chance - NO IDEA who he is, I wish I could remember what he did!!). Also a couple of letters from a coach I dated and a professor I dated - that now that I’m a parent make me feel SUPER creepy and protective of my kids. Those guys were....wrong.
My sister found a house and is closing on the 27th. I really hoped the house drama she has put everyone through would be over now but now it has turned into this giant drama filled mess. I need to book out my weekends all August to avoid getting roped into being her mover/fixer upper slave.
My dishwasher still doesn't work right. I'm not looking forward to calling in another warranty repair and dealing with the company that can't schedule in advance or by time.
2chatter, scheduling that appointment was the hardest thing I had every done. What was worse was how energetic the dog was on the day of because she got to go for a ride. I couldn't stay and couldn't deal with bringing home her ashes either.
mustardseed2007 - they can but then I have to go back and pick her ashes up and deal with them. I was kind of approaching this as one really awful day in my head. Over before vacation. Not coming back to bury the dog. None of the scenarios appeal to me at all.
DDOT - The mom of DD1's "frenemy" has given up trying to set up a playdate. I haven't heard from her in weeks, and DD1 has stopped asking about her. I'm relieved.
Post by freezorburn on Jul 20, 2018 22:46:53 GMT -5
XH has told me they will be putting our dog to sleep on Wednesday. I keep wishing I could be there to spend time with the dog. But I can’t take time off work for this and DS has already done one cross country trip, last week, to say his farewell. I tell myself that I said goodbye at Christmas. And I said goodbye 3 years ago, when we left London and I wasn’t sure then if I would ever see him again.
I got to see the dog on FaceTime today and I can tell he is in “I want my Mommy” pain and I can’t be there to hold him, give him a massage and a belly rub, and curl his 60-lb body up in my lap.
It’s amazing that he still seems to know me through a screen. I talked to him a bit and read him a story (he always loved curling up with me and DS for bedtime stories).
We are going to set up a FaceTime call when they put him to sleep so I can at least see his final moments. I wish I could be there for him, but this is the best we can do.
freezorburn - I had ExH say goodbye last week and it was soooooo awkward, so at least you are spared that (teeny tiny silver lining) - she was our dog when we lived overseas and we got her before kids —- so probably a super similar situation. I didn’t expect it to be weird but it was evocative if everything from that time in this super weird cringe worthy way.
Hang in there and schedule time off if you can - knowing I have a sick day Tuesday is keeping me sane.
Post by freezorburn on Jul 23, 2018 19:12:26 GMT -5
2chatter, yes it does sound very similar. Contemplating the end of this dog's life has me remembering a lot things about the dynamics of our marriage. Some positive, some not so much. It has been strange. I got to have a Facetime call with the dog on Friday. XH wanted to take a trip down memory lane, which was odd and awkward. Eventually I asked if I could just read a story to the dog, and I know how silly that sounds, but it was far less awkward. The dog used to join DS and me for bedtime stories, so I figured I could at least read to him, since I can't physically be there.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jul 25, 2018 5:26:59 GMT -5
My TWERK on DS:
We still only got an "at risk" diagnosis of dyslexia. The diagnostician said he'd be testing as dyslexic except that we got him early intervention and so his discrepancy between where he is and where he should be isn't showing up as significant enough for a diagnosis. Which she did tell us might happen...This year's test he had significant improvement in Reading and letter identification (over 20 points) and is testing at grade level for math, slightly behind for reading, and about a year behind in spelling and writing (my comment about the sentences homework...).
So basically this is annoying. I guess I always understood you have dyslexia or you don't and so my expectation (hope) has been that she'd be able to test for it even with intervention and tell me one way or the other. But what I'm learning is, with intervention you can actually avoid a dyslexia diagnosis...or to put it another way you can suppress the symptoms of dylsexia enough that we're not getting a diagnosis.
On the other hand I'm trying to talk myself out of caring because if we are getting him where he needs to be with what he's doing, and the level of intervention he's getting is far beyond anything a district in Texas would ever pay for, then does it really matter?
But I was really shocked to hear her suggest that we INCREASE his tutorials "because it's working." The normal neuhaus/orton gillingham tutoring program is a 2 year program, 4-5 days per week, 45 to 50 minute sessions DURING his school day (not after when he's tired). We've been doing 3 days per week so we're about 1/3 through the program and he's actually ready to start the next stage.
The psychologist cheerfully explained she thought he could finish the program within a year, given the progress he's made, and he'd be caught up. Which at 65 dollars a session is significant money. Thank you?
On the other hand, it's doing all the good things for him. On the other hand, we're sending this kid to private school. So private tutoring on top of it...ugh. But if we were sending him to public school he wouldn't be eligible for ANYTHING based on these test scores and we wouldn't be able to get him pulled out 2 times per week, let alone 5 times per week with our own tutor.
I don't know. We're seeing real results with this and he ADORES his tutor, so I'm leaning towards doing it. I just hope his school is really as supportive as they make themselves out to be. Right now I'm being told "yes this is possible, but we're going to have to figure it out and we won't be able to figure it out until right before school starts because that's when we have the schedule...and oh by the way are you sure you don't want to do this after school because you CAN do it during school but it's easier if you do it AFTER school." So I'm worried that the school is "supportive not supportive" but it's hard to tell because I just don't know them well enough to really know.
mustardseed2007 - that is so frustrating! And it depends on your district for public - DD got services here with no diagnosis. I honestly think it depends more on how they can group kids because there are only so many time slots. It sucks.
Can you do a hybrid? Two school day and two after school per week? Increase of one per week with decrease of one at home per week? Lots of upside there - including finishing earlier.
Is this really a one and done fix? I’d be concerned about intensive junior high testing with no accommodation if he just requires more time to apply strategies. More than services, test taking (finals, mid terms, timed written exercises) might still be harder for him?
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jul 25, 2018 10:55:59 GMT -5
2chatter, he can't get the kind of intervention he's getting right now without a diagnosis through the district. Although even with a diagnosis it would probably take forever for him to get it, if he even got it. The district has 1 of his kind of tutor for 8 schools. It's disgraceful.
Without a diagnosis their standard accomodation at his elementary school is the reading specialist that the PTA pays for, maybe 2x per week for 20 minutes. Which is not going to be sufficient although it's better than a kick in the shin for sure.
After talking to his tutor today, she says we are in store for a diagnosis. She told me to get him retested in 3 years and we will get a definitive dyslexia diagnosis.
That made me feel better b/c I was thinking EXACTLY the same as you are. He goes to high school and has to take the STAAR or wahtever test they have you take. He needs it untimed. Same with the SAT's. And there's other accomodations he's going to need. Some the school may just give him, but I'm concerned about the extra time right now, because I foresee that as being an issue.
It's not going to be a one and done thing. It's more that he'll be able to read and write and spell at the end of the program. Then after that he's going to probably continue to need other interventions but everything will be easier since he'll be able to read on level instead of 3 levels behind. KWIM?
mustardseed2007, we are in this exact same boat! DD was uncooperative with testing, so her IQ came our average, but everyone including the tester feels that was very low and inaccurate. But she is reading at that level. So no dx.
Post by freezorburn on Jul 26, 2018 1:28:47 GMT -5
Well my puppydog is now off to a great new adventure.
I had a final Facetime with him this morning, told him I loved him and that I'll see him again someday.
Then I had planned to witness his final moments during my lunch break, but it did not go smoothly. The vet was half an hour late. And then it seems like they under-dosed him on sedatives. First round was given orally before the vet arrived, the second was an injection by the vet which they said was pretty rough. I thought they would have figured this out based on how he was overcoming sedatives a couple of weeks ago when this hind leg issue all started. When the second sedative had had time to work, they had to get the dog on his side or back, at which point he bit both XH and XMIL. So now everyone was stressed out. I talked XH through some of the massage technique I used to calm the dog down and then I had to get back to work. Not sure what happened after that but I think it was done within the next half hour or so.
freezorburn that sounds awful - and maybe that’s just how it goes? I warned our vet that my dog could not lay down without a lot of effort so she was sedated standing, which means there was a kind of alarming (not really because expected) fall - he guided her down to lay. She was in so much pain - I don’t think I really understood it until I could see how stiff she still was fully sedated. When she had passed we could move her front and back legs and I had forgotten what that was like.
Weirdly, this has pushed DD (who was bitten in the face by my parents ahole dog and is terrified of all dogs except ours) to dogs - last night my neighbor brought her two great pyrenees over and DD sat with them, petted them, laid with them - she has never been in the same room as them and we have lived here five years. She was super nervous and ran away crying three times (totally hysterical) so I was shocked when she was absolutely fine and moved freely around them and laid with them. They’re each bigger than she is by at least 40 pounds.