Dear DH Timely responses to text messages would be nice. You text me and I text you right back with a question "do you want to get in pool when you get home" and nothing. You texting me 1.5 hours later saying yes was too late. DD and I had already ate dinner, went to Wal-Mart and got chemicals and put chemicals into the pool. You shouldn't' get mad when it is your own fault. A 4:30 reply back would have kept me from putting in chemicals until after you got done. 6:30 too late Charlie... Me
DD You were so good yesterday at the office. Such a different kid than earlier in the month. Why did you have to turn into a teenager when we got home? But the butterfly you learned to swim last night is oh so cute. Now if we can just teach you to float and not freak if you can't touch... Mom
I just need a day. One day. I’m so tired. One day to just be a vegetable would be awesome.
Sincerely, Future Celery Stalk
Dear H:
Um, what do you mean you don’t know how to make chicken sandwiches? This does not compute. Do you honestly mean you can’t figure out how to cut up a rotisserie chicken? Seriously?
Dear DH- Thanks for cooking dinner and doing dishes and taking out the trash. However, I am really going to need you to deal with your boss issues on your own. You decided to move onto another company, so you don't have to worry about him much longer. I know your boss is being a huge jerk in not telling your accounts that he is pulling you due to budget issues of people overspending their budget (not you), but I can't listen to the angst anymore- sorry. And you are leaving anyway, so you would have had to tell them anyway. I am sorry you have to tell someone so high up, and that your boss is on perpetual vacation and not helping whatsoever, but your a grown man who is paid well in a high level position who wants to climb higher. It is literally your job to deal.
Dear DD- I don't even know. I just know I can barely deal with you lately. So much complaining and demands, and giving into your demands does nothing neither does anything else I have come up with.
Dear DS- You are such a sweet boy. I just wish you wouldn't swallow $1 coins.
Dear Work- Several co-workers are on my nerves. Including one lady who simply cannot have conversations. I think we might be the opposite type, but I don't know something about us is like oil and water. Also one of my co-workers is facing the nastiest divorce in the history of the world. I mean it's really bad.
I need a more clear notification if I am going to give a presentation. Your email said the grant committee wanted a presentation from me. Presumably on the current grant. Yesterday I find out the grant committee, board, CEO want an entire overview of our partnership through the years. With handouts. Nice.
Signed, details would be nice.
Dear mom,
Thanks for taking out my mailbox. The insanity of the grandchildren continue. You come to get the kid to play with their cousins. In my brother's truck. Where is your car? You don't know how to drive a truck. You spin gravel everywhere backing up the driveway. Nevermind that we have at least a quarter mile of gravel with several spots to turn around. And you obliterate my mailbox, baking strait out into the road, even though we also have a circular driveway. Awesome.
Sign, I don' t need mail.
PS. DH, you saw this hot mess and didn't stop her?
Post by traveltheworld on Jul 25, 2018 14:21:19 GMT -5
I have more.
Dear world,
Stop with the extra expenses. First it was the rental house needing a new roof (expected) and a new furnace (unexpected). Then it's our nanny losing a set of car keys that'll cost $400 to replace (how is it that expensive?!). Then it's us getting a speeding ticket and a fine.
Signed, Frustrated
Dear DH,
It would have been nice for you to tell me that you plan to take a month off to study for the CPA exam. I have no objections per se, but that's a month of no income from you that I would have appreciated knowing get about more than a week beforehand.
Oh, and no, you didn't tell me the prep course is $1500 either.
Signed, Wife whose husband is clueless about money - the same guy who is taking his CPA
Dear DH, Thanks for ice cream and tonic/lime. I didn’t need the side of snit fit because I wanted 30 minutes alone last night. I told you that - and you said you would not be home from work before 9:00. Rock in at 8:30 and YES after the dog and a full evening of errands with the kids I STILL wanted those 30 minutes to myself. Grow up, thanks. Wife, who has four kids, not three
Dear DD, You handle emergencies like a champion. Don’t ever lose that unflappable execution/escalation thing you have going on. I work with tons of grown ups who don’t have it down. Relieved mom that you aren’t a train wreck teenager
traveltheworld, My Dh is as well. He claims he knows stuff because he has an MBA and took an accounting class. Um yup he knows nothing about taxes and even less about budgeting.
Post by erinshelley21 on Jul 25, 2018 14:38:11 GMT -5
Dear DH, I love that I'm working from home and I love that you love that I'm working from home. You cannot expect to have sex every afternoon. You just can't. I foresee some frustration on my part because you're going to expect me to do all of the dishes, laundry and cleaning. I do 90% of this anyways but your 10% I'll probably fall by the way side and you wont understand that it is not easier for me to get it done now than it was before. Love, your wife who is hoping she is wrong.
Dear bro, I am starting to cut the cord. You are on your own now. I've only been as helpful as I have on this one client because he is my pride and joy. Also, all the thing things you have asked for help on with it have been things you can figure out for yourself. Use your intelligence and get it done yourself. You can do it. Love, your sister who isn't as available as she was
Dear Car, Can you wait until like October to fall apart? Maybe November. My financial situation isn't ready for a car payment but I also can't deal with a car that has a driver's seat that only moves sometimes. Signed, you are only 7 years old and not old enough to be acting this way.
Dear DH, I'm really glad you didn't forget my birthday. As evidenced by the Amazon orders that I'm getting alerts for. Because you ordered my gift through our joint account. We should really figure out how to separate that somehow... But, nice job on the selections! It looks fun! Signed, Relieved you didn't forget completely
Dear marketing agency, You guys are like a breath of fresh air. It feels SO GOOD to talk about stuff in depth with people who really get it. That is the one big piece of my job that's missing. I really miss nerdy strategy talks. Thanks for flying up to spend the day and strategize for the next quarter! Signed, Marketing Nerd
You're basically the best in the world. It's like you KNOW I have my first two-week vacation since my wedding 2010 in the works and are all going out of your way to make life miserable.
Signed, The lady who is going to get as much as she can done by Friday and then disconnect my phone from emails and hope people can get it done without me.
Dear WP,
I have a 5 day family vacation planned next week and then the next week will be a staycation by myself while DH and the kids go about their regular routines. I plan on having at least one day of vegging out and being super unproductive.
Dear MIL, I understand you want the whole extended family to drive to Minnesota to bury your dad at the family plot. But why are we going white water rafting after? DHhas been a bit vague about this, and I have no idea what to pack for all of us to wear? Signed, Not my monkeys, not my zoo
Dear Recruiters, Call me back with a clue of what I applied for.. you appear rude so I'm not interested. Signed Too busy for bad 1st impressions
Dear Mom and FIL Glad you want to relocate. Stop fussing at night when I want to sleep.. Signed Tired Working Mom
Dear Vacation I can't wait to see you in 2 days for 9 days!! Please be decent, first time to GA coast since moving here 2 years ago. Signed Well deserved
Dear delivery guy, PLEASE for the love of god, put my packages inside the screen porch. Leaving them on the steps immediately outside the screen door, in the pouring rain, is really not cool. It is an obviously unlocked door leading to a dry porch. Just open it and shove them inside. My last package had an actual puddle inside when I opened it up. I have books and electronics being delivered today and I'm really worried that they're going to get trashed. I put two signs on my door telling you to put them inside. I hope it works! Signed, Aggravated customer
Why can't you by normal things? First you go to replace the fan. Instead of the normal box fan that doesn't blow on me, just on you, you buy this 4 ft tall column looking thing that manages to go right over you, and into my face. Now you have replaced your alarm clock (won't use his phone) with some giant space age looking thing. I've noticed you have turned it off. Maybe because it is so bright it looks like the sun?
Signed, I don't have the money to keep replacing your crazy stuff.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jul 26, 2018 9:20:37 GMT -5
rere, for the longest time my husband had the brightest f'n alarm clock!! We turned off the light and the whole room was bathed in a really bright, blue glow. I always made him turn it around at night to face the wall, and when it finally broke we did not replace it.
Dear coworker, When you schedule a meeting with a bunch of people at the last minute, don't be offended if I can't come because I have an out of office on my calendar. Signed, Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part
Dear company, Can you please get your act together? My office has been through this process before and we see all the warning signs that this project is going to fail. Why don't you listen to us when we tell you that we see the direction that this is heading? Signed, It's like watching a car wreck happen
Another dear DH - You were home last night watching TV while I worked. This morning, Looking at the dishes in the sink, the laundry to be done and the chaos of my packing for vacation and making snide comments about how I have a lot to do before the maid comes Friday was —- unreal. Calling to apologize wasn’t enough. No I’m not skipping the kids sports to do laundry. No I’m not taking time off from work - I am swamped and am taking a week off and am terrified about it at this point. Has it occurred to you that you LIVE HERE and when you get home at 6:30 you have AMPLE time to undertake these tasks yourself? You said you would do the dishes but didn’t - why is that my job? Signed, Not the maid, not your subordinate, WAKE UP
Post by judyblume14 on Jul 26, 2018 12:01:52 GMT -5
twinmomma, we split our amazon account recently. It was confusing (especially because I somehow had 2 accounts with the same email address???). But I called their customer service department. The closed my "extra" account, and then linked my email address to my husband's Prime membership. So, we pay for one membership, have 2 separate email address, and I only get alerts for my stuff, and he only gets alerts for his purchases. Call them! It is so nice to NOT get notified about weird tool purchases, and my H really doesn't need to know about the dumb shit I buy on the reg.
Post by covergirl82 on Jul 26, 2018 13:03:41 GMT -5
Dear MIL,
You are dumb. I don’t know how else to say it. You have had two back surgeries and have chronic back pain. You have SSI-disability because you supposedly can’t work because of your back. So when you volunteer to do physical labor, such as painting a playground structure at your church, and then fall off said structure and hurt your back, I struggle to come up with some sympathy. People will understand if you tell them you can’t help because of your back. You don’t have to kill yourself to try and get people to like you. And when you do this kind of physical labor (including the times you’ve loaded, hauled, and spread mulch at a friend’s house), you’re defrauding the government.
Signed, DIL
Dear DS,
I'm sorry Daddy and I are only average height, and not super tall like your friend J's parents. I know it's disappointing when J wins multiple awards at sports camps and you don't win any but, 1) J is very athletically talented and 2) if you were the size of a 5th or 6th grader (but actually a 3rd grader), I'm sure you'd be able to run faster and be able to make more inteceptions too. All Daddy and I ask of you is to try hard and do your best. But the only way you're going to really improve is by practicing. It's like Dick's Sporting Goods at our house with all the sports equipment we have, so put your iPad down and practice.