Juicy fun secrets or FFC Thursday

[waverly]

We are slow on this board today.  Also haven't heard from librarychica lately (not related to the title of the post, just thinking about you).


Any juicy fun secret or FFCs?

I don't really have any good ones ever, but this is a secret someone else told me, and I re-told my H about it today when we passed by the place.

A while ago I had lunch with a retiring kids museum director.  She let us in that they will never have animal exhibits again.  Why?  Because once they had a reptile exhibit and this huge snake got out twice!  Once was in the kids museum, but the second time he went even farther in the building all the way to the end to adjoining shops.  It is kind of like a nice mini shopping mall with at least 15 shops in it to give you an example of size. I can't even imagine wrestling a 15 foot or whatever giant snake back into his cage.  After the second time they called the people they outsourced the exhibit from and said pick up your reptiles!  And never had an animal exhibit again. 

[akafred]

Confession 1: DD is running around the resort wearing a bra and panties as a swimsuit. You can’t tell. It looks like a sports bra style bikini. But she feels like a little badass so ok, you do you, kid of mine.

Confession 2: This place is very French. Like, 90%+ French. Which is fine, language barrier notwithstanding, but the culture is also French. When I signed DD up for “mini club”, they asked if she was “independent.” I thought that meant like, can she get dressed on her own, can she swim, can she choose her own activities, whatever. No, it means can she run around unsupervised. Oops. Can’t unring that bell. She’s doing really well with it, and considering we have no phones or anything, we’re doing a really good job connecting appropriately. Mostly she is just going to mini club and back to wherever we are. It’s a little weird, but seriously most of the kids around here even 6-7 years old are, as far as I can tell, totally unsupervised. P.S. There are lifeguards at the pool and she knows not to go to the beach alone.

[186momx]

FFC: DD fell on the beam last night (banged up her side/hip). Total slow-mo fall and a delayed reaction of crying. All the other parents were jumping up freaking out trying to figure out who's kid is crying. While I continued to sit and talk to the person next to me who's kid is also in DD's class and wasn't freaking out either and I wasn't concerned at all. I got some awful beady eye judgment after this but for my benefit she has fallen worse before and unless she lands on her head and is screaming bloody murder I let the coaches deal with her as she will suck it way quicker for them than if they give her to me. Plus gymnast fall a lot, duh!

[supertrooper1]

There is a rumor going around work that there were 3 people promoted to first line supervisor. It hasn't officially been announced. One choice is ok, one is so-so and the other is...not great. But the not great promotion might work out because he's stirring up shit as an officer, creating his own policy and as a supervisor he won't have the protection of the union to do his own thing.

[mae0111]

Vent #1
So my sister moved 3K miles away from the rest of the family about a year ago. She comes back to visit about every 6-8 weeks. But she doesn't tell me or my other sister that she's coming. She just shows up and expects us to drop everything and hang out with her.

So she arrived late last night, and I just got a text asking if I wanted to go away to her new-by-marriage beach house for the weekend. Like, tomorrow. Um... kids are in camp, I booked a full day of chores and errands, as well as a rare day date with DH. Saturday DD2 has a birthday party that she has been looking forward to for 2 months, and DD1 was not invited (so it's not like I can go and DH takes the kids). If we try to go after the party, we will be sitting in hours of traffic. HOURS. Then we will be sitting in hours of traffic to come back.

This is what every visit is like. She'll call and ask me to meet her for dinner in, like 15 mins, and I wouldn't even know that she was in town before the call. If I'd had more than a few hours to plan, I might have tried to make it work. But I'm so completely sick of her swooping into town and demanding that we rearrange our schedules and the schedules of our kids to hang out with her. So... nope.

Vent #2
My mother is a 6-year-old diva when it comes to her birthday, which is next week. Last year, I had to leave houseguests and go to dinner that she demanded that we have with like a day's notice. This was after she insisted that she didn't want to do anything.

This year local sister and I have been asking her what she'd like to do. Cook out? Dinner out with whole fam? Dinner with just daughters? We did not include Prodigal Sister in our planning because her schedule is apparently top secret. Mom INSISTED that she did not want to do anything. Well, Mom DEMANDED that we make a dinner reservation for Monday night. For 14 people. At 6pm. There are no reservations to be found at any "acceptable" restaurants. Sister broke the news, and she unloaded about how awful we were for not planning something for her birthday. EVERYTHING WE HAVE EVER PLANNED HAS BEEN WRONG. Party had the wrong people. Reservations at the wrong restaurant. Did not want a cook-out when she said she wanted a cook-out, but our F-ING CRYSTAL BALLS WERE BUSTED and didn't interpret her nonsense correctly.

I'm a grump.

[mommyatty]

I lack juicy secrets. The best I can do is that I can’t shower every day or my skin dries out so badly I itch until I bleed. Plus my hair falls out in chunks. So I’m obsessive about deodorant. Lol. DH swears some days I put it on 3-4 times because I keep forgetting whether I’ve done it.

[phdmomma]

I’m ready for school to start, but it doesn’t start until September and I’m going to lose my shit before then. I’m so over two drop offs and pickups that are across town from one another. I dream of just putting DS on the bus and then taking DD I Day are right by my office and going to work. I’m done with summer camp across town that doesn’t start until 8:00am and ends at 4:30pm. I’m ready for DD to move up rooms and stop napping so that she will finally go the heck to bed before 10pm at night. I’m done with summer, you bite.

[campermom]

Aug 9, 2018 15:19:48 GMT -5 akafred said:

Confession 2: This place is very French. Like, 90%+ French. Which is fine, language barrier notwithstanding, but the culture is also French. When I signed DD up for “mini club”, they asked if she was “independent.” I thought that meant like, can she get dressed on her own, can she swim, can she choose her own activities, whatever. No, it means can she run around unsupervised. Oops. Can’t unring that bell. She’s doing really well with it, and considering we have no phones or anything, we’re doing a really good job connecting appropriately. Mostly she is just going to mini club and back to wherever we are. It’s a little weird, but seriously most of the kids around here even 6-7 years old are, as far as I can tell, totally unsupervised. P.S. There are lifeguards at the pool and she knows not to go to the beach alone.

Woah, when we go there in November I’m going to make sure we are aware of that-between us and the other family our “big kids” will have two 9 year olds, a 7 and 6 year old. They will get in so much trouble if they were independent!

Can’t wait to hear all about the trip!

[traveltheworld]

My BFF is visiting with her 7 months old. Being a first time mom, it took a lot to of convincing on my part to get her to come out and visit because she was all worried that the travel and visit would screw up the baby's schedule. I assured her that any disruption would be short lived and not so bad.

Well, today was day 2 and so far the baby has cried for 2 hours, missed a nap, and is now again crying. She never cried for more than 10 minutes at a time when she was home. So yeah, not helping my argument.

[erinshelley21]

traveltheworld I think you're doing her a favor. DH and I refused to cater to our kids' schedules with the exception of bedtime. Even though they both have some sleep issues, we are more thankful that they can adapt to new places and being away from home.

[rere]

No juicy secrets here. Just a statement. At 40+ years old, I have decided 1) I don't have to agree 2) I don't have to do what I don't want to do. I am on a fundraising committee at church for our annual picnic. I get a notice at 4 for a meeting at 6. No part of me functions on a 2 hour notice, on a Thursday. I don't go. I then get a text that they are changing the event I am in charge of, to see if it can make more money. Nope. Whoever wants to change it, fine, they can take over. I like the way we do it, so, since I am a volunteer, I am out if it is changed. Volunteers are not mandated. If you don't discuss things with the volunteers or give ample notice, don't be surprised when they don't give your their precious time.

This committee can't seem to track the money, some events seem to be loosing money. When I say each event needs a revenue and expense statement to track ingoing and outgoing to see what may be a drain, they look at me like I am crazy. BTW, my booth is pure profit, so quit screwing with it. I hate working with people who have no idea how to function on large events. If I quit, they can find someone else and I will not have any guilt.

[2chatter]

rere - this is why I quit PTA!!!!!

People that have no idea and who don’t comprehend basic concepts really aren’t getting my time any more.

I feel such relief starting the school year without any big volunteer commitments - NOT because of the volunteer time or effort - but because of the disorganization, last minute meetings, random unexpected “deadlines”, things like you share where people change what you are running and the back biting.

FFFC - unless I can volunteer with people who ALL have work experience, I won’t do it very much as it’s not worth the time and frustration. I can’t leave things be when things are wrong, inefficient, ineffective, etc and that’s on me, so I need to give it a wiiide berth.

[twinmomma]

Aug 10, 2018 8:51:22 GMT -5 2chatter said:

rere - this is why I quit PTA!!!!!

People that have no idea and who don’t comprehend basic concepts really aren’t getting my time any more.

I feel such relief starting the school year without any big volunteer commitments - NOT because of the volunteer time or effort - but because of the disorganization, last minute meetings, random unexpected “deadlines”, things like you share where people change what you are running and the back biting.

FFFC - unless I can volunteer with people who ALL have work experience, I won’t do it very much as it’s not worth the time and frustration. I can’t leave things be when things are wrong, inefficient, ineffective, etc and that’s on me, so I need to give it a wiiide berth.

We are the same person.
And this is why I ended up roped into PTA this year. 
I have high hopes that I can help them get their act together. I realize fully that this is a fool's errand and will hate my life by June. 

[justcheckingin73]

Aug 10, 2018 8:51:22 GMT -5 2chatter said:

rere - this is why I quit PTA!!!!!

People that have no idea and who don’t comprehend basic concepts really aren’t getting my time any more.

I feel such relief starting the school year without any big volunteer commitments - NOT because of the volunteer time or effort - but because of the disorganization, last minute meetings, random unexpected “deadlines”, things like you share where people change what you are running and the back biting.

FFFC - unless I can volunteer with people who ALL have work experience, I won’t do it very much as it’s not worth the time and frustration. I can’t leave things be when things are wrong, inefficient, ineffective, etc and that’s on me, so I need to give it a wiiide berth.

I completely agree with this. I’ll never forget the ONE year I was on the board of the PTA as the Secretary and I had just gotten a new job after being unemployed. I was in NYC for training, sitting in a conference room with my new boss and colleagues and one of the PTA Presidents emailed me and in so many words demanded that I get an email out that day. I was dumbfounded. She knew where I was and why I was there. A few hours/1 day is not going to make or break the response of your precious email.

[waverly]

And stories like this is why I will never be on the PTA. I asked my mom because she was very involved in my school. She was a SAHM, and she said she volunteered in the classroom and not the PTA. So that is what I do. It is much more limited because I work. She volunteered every Tuesday for years. But I do the parties, and the field day, and I did a couple of days where I did sight words with the bouncy Kindergartners. The first grade teacher did want much help this year, but the new year coming up I might. Oh and I did two reading sessions with the classrooms.


It works because I have an education background (well more for older kids and adults but whatever) and not a fundraising background.   

[2chatter]

justcheckingin73 - almost same scenario, except it wasn’t a new job. I was in NY for work. I’d set an SLA for communications - and said “Service Level Agreement or timeline” in the meetings. They said they didn’t know what I was talking about when I said 1-3 days to get URGENT emails out and weekly on Tuesdays with one week notice for BAU communications that were not urgent. So why couldn’t I just do it right then? It was not urgent. It was not the kind of draft I asked for (didn’t include who, what, when, where or why - it was missing who and where and any kind of value prop). I made people mad ALL the time when I refused to send incomplete and/or confusing messages, or made them think through strategy so they would not be sending 6 emails as additional things occurred to them.

I really did hate it - but like twinmomma I delusionally thought I could make a difference.

[HeartofCheese]

Juicy secrets:
#1 - Still having sex on Saturday!
#2 - If I'm lucky, I will be getting a little action in my office later today if he's able to stop by.

[mae0111]

Re: PTA - I tried to get involved at the old, awful school. There were 2 cliques - the board that was currently in charge, and the group that was trying to overthrow the board in charge. I went to one meeting. It was awful. I found out that there was a brawl at the next meeting. Pushing, screaming, a punch thrown.

I was like um... Bye ladies. 😳

[waverly]

mae0111 , that's crazy! I went to a working mom meet up group once. No one was there, because I found out it was a similar thing that one faction had overthrown another faction and kicked everyone out. And now there were like 2 people left. So awkward, I swore off all meet up groups. But no fist fighting, so maybe I lucked out? 

[mae0111]

Update to my earlier vent - ran into my sister at my parents’ and she instructed me to leave my kids with DH and come to the beach house. Um... no? DH had the kids all last weekend alone. HAD I KNOWN that this weekend was a possibility, we would have planned for him to take the kids away this weekend instead. But I guess they don’t schedule cross-country flights with more than a few hours’ notice ...

[2chatter]

mae0111 - is your sister the type to wait and see what the best options are and then schedule with family last minute if nothing better is available? That’s what it sounds like. I’m catty, so my responses would trend toward “just because you struck out on tinder doesn’t mean I have to drop everything to be your weekend entertainment” (I know she just got married so tinder isn’t the point - I would not be able to resist commenting on the last minute nature of this insanity).

[justcheckingin73]

Aug 10, 2018 9:19:01 GMT -5 2chatter said:

justcheckingin73 - almost same scenario, except it wasn’t a new job. I was in NY for work. I’d set an SLA for communications - and said “Service Level Agreement or timeline” in the meetings. They said they didn’t know what I was talking about when I said 1-3 days to get URGENT emails out and weekly on Tuesdays with one week notice for BAU communications that were not urgent. So why couldn’t I just do it right then? It was not urgent. It was not the kind of draft I asked for (didn’t include who, what, when, where or why - it was missing who and where and any kind of value prop). I made people mad ALL the time when I refused to send incomplete and/or confusing messages, or made them think through strategy so they would not be sending 6 emails as additional things occurred to them.

I really did hate it - but like twinmomma I delusionally thought I could make a difference.

Yes yes yes! I can so relate to this. Not only from a WM perspective but as someone who was once new to the school. Tell me what door people need to go in (since there are 3-4 used for various purposes) and in general what they need to expect. It’s like they had never thought of any of it before. So glad I’m out. I agree with waverly. I will help the teacher and volunteer with them as much as my schedule allows but no more pta crap. 

[waverly]

Yes! Tell me what door!

We once trapsed around the whole school in the winter which means dark and snowy trying all the doors which were all locked including the main office of the school it was located in. Finally a poor soul heard us knocking and let us in.

I never did figure out what door was open. We ended up leaving out the main office of the adjoining school which made no sense.

[callmekd]

HeartofCheese you win the juicy secrets post! can't wait for an update. 😉

[sweetptater]

Aug 10, 2018 8:54:16 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Aug 10, 2018 8:51:22 GMT -5 2chatter said:

rere - this is why I quit PTA!!!!!

People that have no idea and who don’t comprehend basic concepts really aren’t getting my time any more.

I feel such relief starting the school year without any big volunteer commitments - NOT because of the volunteer time or effort - but because of the disorganization, last minute meetings, random unexpected “deadlines”, things like you share where people change what you are running and the back biting.

FFFC - unless I can volunteer with people who ALL have work experience, I won’t do it very much as it’s not worth the time and frustration. I can’t leave things be when things are wrong, inefficient, ineffective, etc and that’s on me, so I need to give it a wiiide berth.

We are the same person.
And this is why I ended up roped into PTA this year. 
I have high hopes that I can help them get their act together. I realize fully that this is a fool's errand and will hate my life by June October. 

FTFY

[mustardseed2007]

mae0111, DH's bio mom is the same way. We always find out at the last minute that she's coming in to town. We live in Texas, she lives in Massachusetts. You'd think she'd call her children to say "hi, I'm coming to your state in a week. Can we do lunch?" But no.

She was recently here but we only found out because....juicy story alert that I've been trying to figure out how to post but it's a ridiculous soap opera so I haven't taken the time:

SIL sent a group text to H's entire family and her entire family and HER TWO TEENAGE SONS stating that DH's brother, who was working out of the country at the time, was leaving her for another woman so they're going to be getting a divorce.
Then a few hours later a text to the family saying that their son had gotten in a bad car accident and is ok but her car is totaled.
This sets off a bunch of phone calls with H and his stepmom/adopted mom and bio mom etc etc. We confirm the kid is ok, but no one can get in touch with H's brother b/c he's working in Africa, and SIL is loosing her shit and is beside herself. As an aside, we find out that DH's bio mom was going to be in town the next day. Shrug.

This happened a while ago, so I already have an update: a week later, right on cue, she sends another text saying it turns out he's not having an affair, but they may be getting a divorce because DH's brother is furious with his wife. It was a lot longer than that...details about their son getting in another wreck with his other car, one of their dogs ran away, and she's going to see a therapist (good idea), and probably some other MUD I'm forgetting.

H's family is absolutely crazy. I mean, everyone's family is crazy. But there ARE levels.