Would you complain?

[mommyatty]

We just got class lists. DS’s entire preschool class except him got the teacher we were hoping for. He’s literally the only kid who didn’t, which means he knows exactly nobody in his pre-k class.

On the one hand, we didn’t get the total shit teacher DD was stuck with. But I don’t think it’s fair DS will know zero kids in his class this year. Should I call and ask how they made the decision and whether they can move him?

[2chatter]

I have always let it be because they won’t make moves after announcements unless there is documented bullying. He will make new friends, too - which is actually pretty great. And they will all see each other around. It does bug me that some of the very vocal parents get what they want but I am just not that selfish, brassy, rude person so...my kids are stuck.

I did call the principal over the summer to ensure DD wasn’t stuck with the crappy teacher oldest had, but that’s as far as I go. Pretty middle of the road.

[186momx]

I wouldn't go in and say "I want him moved" but I would question why he doesn't have a single friend from the previous year in his class. I would also point your to your DS that he can still play with his friends at recess.


We can't request teachers. I did ask for the N who was picking on DD a ton to be in a different class. Then they only had 1 class but the teacher did try to seat them far away from each other which is what I expect this year to be like.

[mustardseed2007]

Since it's the entire preschool class, I would. I would be very nice about it but I'd say something.

I'm like that though. Which is probably not good.

ETA: Also, we haven't been school aged that long so I don't have actual knowledge about policies about not moving kids like 2chatter does. If I knew for a fact that it was too late to do something, I would not say anything. I might say something early on next year if it was, in fact, a problem. 

[erbear]

I would not. They are, what, 3/4? He'll make new friends easily. They are not going to make a change once the lists are published.

[shakinros]

I wouldn’t. Pre-K friendships are so fluid that he’ll have a new batch of friends by day 3. I’d still agonize over it, but at their age, it’s a much bigger deal to us than to them.

[mustardseed2007]

Oh I didn't really realize this was pre-k.

It is annoying but I'd be much less likely to say anything at that age also.

[waverly]

I might question but not really complain. We only had one class for preschool and with public school I don’t feel I should really say anything.

[librarychica]

I probably would not (I like to save my “that parent” moments up for max effectiveness and this just wouldn’t get me there) but it is a super weird decision on their part.

[honeydew1894]

I would say definitely no. DS started K knowing no one really, and it was totally fine. Kids make friends so easily that I might save "that call" for something that matters more.

[erinshelley21]

I wouldn't. I had reservations about ds's class this year. The kids looked a little rough and maybe a little like they dont listen well (I realize I'm judging small children) but that was just the vibe I got. There are 2 girls in his class from last year. The other 7 students either got the same teacher from last year or the teacher he wanted. He got a teacher that is on her 38th year (legit thirty-eight years) so I was very nervous. We are 4 days in and he is totally fine. He sees his bff that used to live across the street and his friends from last year at recess.

Like someone else said, it would have to be something very serious go get me to say something, especially at this point. We are just starting our school years with these kids. I think our boys are similar ages (nine will be 5 I'm December). It's a marathon.

[erinshelley21]

I forgot my point with DS being put in a class with these kids. DS is a freaking angel child at school. Total teachers pet. They all think he is sweet as can be and were arguing over who got him this year. I only know this because one of my bff's from high schools mom is one of the teachers. I am just telling myself he ended up with this mix of classmates so he can be a good example. It's made me more comfortable with how it all has ended up.

Just for the record, I am not a parent that thinks my kid is a special snowflake by any means and am not trying to sound braggy about his behavior at school. He can be a total asshole and DH and I pay dearly for the good behavior at school and in most public places

[campermom]

Aug 16, 2018 15:27:31 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

 But I don’t think it’s fair DS will know zero kids in his class this year. Should I call and ask how they made the decision and whether they can move him?

NO. 

[supertrooper1]

No, I wouldn't complain.

DH tells me about some of the drama created by student placement at his school. They divide the kids up based on teacher fit, needs and evenly splitting the tough to handle kids and the good kids. There are so many factors that keeping friends together can't be a consideration unless there is a behavioral need to keep kids together. The drama was so bad that requests were stopped about 10 years ago at his school.

[k3am]

Is this daycare? And you’re going from preschool to pre-k?

[sandandsea]

Eh. I say let it be. He will make new friends and be fine. It’s good practice for the future.

[sdlaura]

I just came back from my DS’s pre-k orientation tonight and the new school year starts Monday. We’re in a pretty similar boat - didn’t get the teacher I requested, but got teachers we know and who should be ok - not the class where I don’t know the teachers. So could have been better, but also could have been worse. His friends aren’t in the class.

I was surprised not to get my choice since it’s our 4th year there between the two kids. I don’t plan to complain. I’ll save that for if something goes wrong. I figure it’s only preschool and I’m sure he’ll be fine.

[ilovelucyvv]

No, because of the age group. That being said, I am nervous about DD making new friends in K just because she is the kind of kid who will tell me if she feels like she doesn’t have friends and was glad my DS had friends in his class when he moved up from toddler to preschool at daycare.

[mommyatty]

Aug 16, 2018 20:33:14 GMT -5 k3am said:

Is this daycare? And you’re going from preschool to pre-k?

It’s a private school that starts at 3 and goes through 12th grade.

There isn’t a policy that they won’t move kids after announcements, but I know it must be a pain. Mainly, I just found it odd. Normally they split each class into thirds and rotate them. (There are 3 teachers in each grade.) Maybe everyone else requested the teacher we wanted, and we didn’t, so we got stuck.

I’ll ask tomorrow at the back to school day and picnic why he’s stranded but won’t ask they move him.

[rere]

Honestly, I would ask, just because it was odd and I would be curious. Not really complain, but just want to know the process behind leaving just one kid out of the selection.

[erbear]

Aug 17, 2018 7:52:27 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Aug 16, 2018 20:33:14 GMT -5 k3am said:

Is this daycare? And you’re going from preschool to pre-k?

It’s a private school that starts at 3 and goes through 12th grade.

There isn’t a policy that they won’t move kids after announcements, but I know it must be a pain. Mainly, I just found it odd. Normally they split each class into thirds and rotate them. (There are 3 teachers in each grade.) Maybe everyone else requested the teacher we wanted, and we didn’t, so we got stuck.

I’ll ask tomorrow at the back to school day and picnic why he’s stranded but won’t ask they move him.

They have a policy. It's "We don't do it because we will never, ever hear the end of the requests from parents if we do."

- signed, private pre-k-12th grade teacher and dean who also does the schedule and class lists with no official policy on requests but a clear unofficial one

[justcheckingin73]

This is tough. My son is an anxious kid and would have a really hard time with that, however I’m still not sure I would make waves. My feeling is that its an opportunity to meet new people (and being a former military brat part of me thinks - tough cookies - I was a new kid every 2-3 years) so I would leave it and see how the first couple of weeks go. It might end up better than expected.

[justcheckingin73]

Aug 16, 2018 20:08:34 GMT -5 erinshelley21 said:

Just for the record, I am not a parent that thinks my kid is a special snowflake by any means and am not trying to sound braggy about his behavior at school. He can be a total asshole and DH and I pay dearly for the good behavior at school and in most public places

My DS is the same way. One of the most stubborn, aggravating, pushing buttons toddler/kid and a complete angel in school. His 2nd grade teacher told me several times what a joy he was to have in class. Same with 1st and K. I was truly baffled (though very grateful!). He really is a good kid but is comfortable at home and will push our buttons but he’s so afraid of getting into trouble it tempers his moods at school.

[mommyatty]

erbear, that’s true in the upper grades, but they are very willing to move around the littles. Even mid year.

[k3am]

Aug 17, 2018 7:52:27 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Aug 16, 2018 20:33:14 GMT -5 k3am said:

Is this daycare? And you’re going from preschool to pre-k?

It’s a private school that starts at 3 and goes through 12th grade.

There isn’t a policy that they won’t move kids after announcements, but I know it must be a pain. Mainly, I just found it odd. Normally they split each class into thirds and rotate them. (There are 3 teachers in each grade.) Maybe everyone else requested the teacher we wanted, and we didn’t, so we got stuck.

I’ll ask tomorrow at the back to school day and picnic why he’s stranded but won’t ask they move him.

I assume you're otherwise happy with the school? If that's the case, I'd just try to convince myself that there's probably an underlying reason for what they did. It's probably a bigger deal to you than it is to him, but you may want to bring it up to them as something to think about in the future. 

[ECB]

Nope. Wouldn’t ask. This happened to is going into K. DS had 12 friends going into K. With 3 classes, of course a couple would be with him! Right? Nope. Not a one. I was definitely concerned and wonder if i should say something.

Then i thought “this is JUST k. And now he’ll meet a bunch of new kids”. And now he’s in 4th and is just fine. Actually - none of his good buddies are in his class this year. He’s bummed but he’s fine. And he doesn’t have any expectation of me trying to move him.

[waverly]

Aug 18, 2018 6:45:34 GMT -5 ECB said:

Nope. Wouldn’t ask. This happened to is going into K. DS had 12 friends going into K. With 3 classes, of course a couple would be with him! Right? Nope. Not a one. I was definitely concerned and wonder if i should say something.

Then i thought “this is JUST k. And now he’ll meet a bunch of new kids”. And now he’s in 4th and is just fine. Actually - none of his good buddies are in his class this year. He’s bummed but he’s fine. And he doesn’t have any expectation of me trying to move him.

Good point. Neither kids knows it’s an option to change so they never ask to change classrooms. It’s a big school with 6 classes/ teachers for each grade K-2 school. So they will most likely never be with their friends but they might know kids in class.

[mae0111]

mommyatty, did you ask about the class assignment at the picnic? I've been following along and just wasn't able to respond earlier...

DD1 had one aquaintance in her second grade class last year. There were 4 classes of 22 kids each. I'd heard negative things about the teacher, and I wanted to have her moved, but I thought we'd give it a chance. Then I saw the kids at the open house... and I knew it wasn't going to be a great year. Lots of kids with behavioral issues, and DD1 is a total rule follower. I was worried that she'd get lost in the class with kids that needed much more attention, and I wanted to have her moved... but I thought we'd stick it out and I'd try to form a relationship with the teacher.

You all know how it turned out.

So I'd just say to see how it goes, try to keep your finger on the pulse of the classroom, and don't ignore your gut like I did.

[mommyatty]

I asked DS’s teachers from last year if there was some reason he’d been separated from the class. No. So that’s good. His assistant teacher from last year (that we love to pieces) said the new class will be a better fit for him because there are a couple of really nice boys to replace his two bffs who aren’t going to be in pre-k with him. She also said the teacher we got is going to be great for DS. She’s really sweet and a gifted teacher.

We feel good about the teacher. And now I feel better about the class. Also, a little boy from DS’s tee ball team who is really bratty is in the class with all DS’s old classmates. I’m glad DS doesn’t have to be stuck with him.