Details....

[kaneen]

Um, I guess I’ll give you ladies the details I can think of and then you can ask questions if you want.

We’ve known each other for about 2.5 years through work.  He actually works for a customer of mine which would be scandalous except I’m no longer in a role that would make it a conflict.  We started dating pretty much right after I told him I was switching roles.  I’ve always had a crush on him but there was never so much as even flirting until about two months ago.  We’ve always had something of a connection...he’s my kinda people.  So anyway we started dating about two months ago and things have really been easy and perfect and amazing from day one.  We’re moving fast but it doesn’t feel rushed, it just feels right.  This is the most healthy, adult, loving, caring, respectful relationship I’ve ever been in.

He’s a little younger than me (will be 40 this year).  He has one child, a son, who is 13.  He lives in Florida (raise your hand if you are shocked) about 15 minutes away from my parents.  He’s really smart and well respected at work.  He’s super responsible, determined, and thoughtful.  He’s very intentional about what he says and what he does.  He’s the kind of person who only talks when he really has something to say.  And when he says something he means it.  He’s pretty much amazing all around and thinks I’m the coolest chick on the planet so...

It’s a no brainer for me to move there.  He has full custody of his son and moving him now (middle school) just feels wrong.  Besides that I always figured I’d move to be closer to my parents eventually.  So, eventually is just sooner than I would have thought.  I told him I want to be married, not just live together and he said very matter of factly, “ok”.  He’s the kind of guy that I know I won’t have to say another word about that - he’ll just propose when it’s right.  He asked me the other day when we are going to get married and I just laughed and said we better get engaged first.  

We we are looking at homes.  We’ve narrowed down what we want and have a budget.  It’s just a matter of finding the right property now.  When we do I’ll move.  We’ve decided to keep my condo.  We both like the idea of a beach place and a city place.  We also both really love travel so keeping a place in Atlanta just makes sense.  I think that’s it...but feel free to ask questions if you have any.

[spindle92]

OMG girl. I am smiling from ear to ear for you.

It all sounds great (and healthy too).
So happy you found a great guy because you soo deserve someone to treat you like a queen.

YIPPPEEEEEE!!!!!

[doriswe]

I love everything about this!!!

[neonpink]

kaneen, I am grinning so big for you! I am so happy for you. He sounds amazing. You both look so happy on the beach. (My only sadness is his jersey. lol. boo Orlando City, Atlanta United is so much cooler ;P)

[tiramisu]

Wow, that is really fast! He must be pretty amazing to sweep you off your feet like that. I'm glad you're happy

[chalupa]

You look fabulous and I am so happy that YOU are happy. You deserve it!

[bullygirl979]

I'm so happy that you found someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated! Has he told his son about you? Is he concerned at all how his son will react given how quickly this is moving?

It's good to see how happy you look

[mags]

You look very happy and im so glad you met someone who is so awesome for you.

He sounds like a keeper, but it is SOOOO fast. Makes me raise my brows.

How much time have you spent with his son?
This is a huge deal with a child involved.

I don't want to be the "one" who goes there, but I love you and I have to. You would do the same for me.
You know all the others are thinking it, but ill be the one to say it.

I'm not judging im super happy for you and so glad you found the one. Its just the speed of it that concerns me,

[cuddlyevil]

Yay! I am so happy for you.

[kaneen]

Aug 21, 2018 9:51:25 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

I'm so happy that you found someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated! Has he told his son about you? Is he concerned at all how his son will react given how quickly this is moving?

It's good to see how happy you look

I've actually met his son a few times but it was before we started dating.  I've been working with his company for years now and we do lots of events that we invite prospective customers to attend.  He has attended a few and has brought his son.  C has shared with his son that he has a new girlfriend and has told him it's someone he's met.  His son says he remembers me...which makes sense because the last event that he came to he and I hung out quite a bit.  That was back in April so not that long ago.  We're planning some fun stuff for the three of us over Labor Day weekend so that will be more the official intro.

[kaneen]

Aug 21, 2018 10:32:33 GMT -5 mags said:

You look very happy and im so glad you met someone who is so awesome for you.

He sounds like a keeper, but it is SOOOO fast. Makes me raise my brows.

How much time have you spent with his son?
This is a huge deal with a child involved.

I don't want to be the "one" who goes there, but I love you and I have to. You would do the same for me.
You know all the others are thinking it, but ill be the one to say it.

I'm not judging im super happy for you and so glad you found the one. Its just the speed of it that concerns me,

Yep, not at all surprised that you would bring up your concerns...I'd be shocked if you didn't!   

I get the speed is concerning.  I'd be saying the same thing if I were the one looking at this.  So yes, I do understand and respect the concern.  All I can say is it feels like we're moving at a speed that is right for us and for our relationship.  If it feels like the speed is too much for his son we'll slow it down.  We've already discussed that.

See above on time spent with his son.  The simple answer is none as C's girlfriend and only some prior to us dating.  The "official" intro is happening Labor Day weekend but will just be casual with us doing some fun stuff together but not making a big deal of it.  After that weekend we'll adjust if we need to.

[kaneen]

Aug 21, 2018 9:30:42 GMT -5 neonpink said:

kaneen , I am grinning so big for you! I am so happy for you. He sounds amazing. You both look so happy on the beach. (My only sadness is his jersey. lol. boo Orlando City, Atlanta United is so much cooler ;P)

Ha!  He actually agrees that Atlanta United is way cooler but Orlando is his "hometown" team so he kinda has to have that loyalty.  His son thinks it's super cool that Dad's girlfriend lives in Atlanta...mostly so we can take him to an Atlanta United game ;-)  

[mags]

Aug 21, 2018 12:02:59 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Aug 21, 2018 10:32:33 GMT -5 mags said:

You look very happy and im so glad you met someone who is so awesome for you.

He sounds like a keeper, but it is SOOOO fast. Makes me raise my brows.

How much time have you spent with his son?
This is a huge deal with a child involved.

I don't want to be the "one" who goes there, but I love you and I have to. You would do the same for me.
You know all the others are thinking it, but ill be the one to say it.

I'm not judging im super happy for you and so glad you found the one. Its just the speed of it that concerns me,

Yep, not at all surprised that you would bring up your concerns...I'd be shocked if you didn't!   

I get the speed is concerning.  I'd be saying the same thing if I were the one looking at this.  So yes, I do understand and respect the concern.  All I can say is it feels like we're moving at a speed that is right for us and for our relationship.  If it feels like the speed is too much for his son we'll slow it down.  We've already discussed that.

See above on time spent with his son.  The simple answer is none as C's girlfriend and only some prior to us dating.  The "official" intro is happening Labor Day weekend but will just be casual with us doing some fun stuff together but not making a big deal of it.  After that weekend we'll adjust if we need to.

Glad you get it. Feels a little like SO around here.


13 year olds are crazy! Rough age. 

What part of Florida will you be moving to>:

[kaneen]

Aug 21, 2018 12:25:55 GMT -5 mags said:

Aug 21, 2018 12:02:59 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Yep, not at all surprised that you would bring up your concerns...I'd be shocked if you didn't!   

I get the speed is concerning.  I'd be saying the same thing if I were the one looking at this.  So yes, I do understand and respect the concern.  All I can say is it feels like we're moving at a speed that is right for us and for our relationship.  If it feels like the speed is too much for his son we'll slow it down.  We've already discussed that.

See above on time spent with his son.  The simple answer is none as C's girlfriend and only some prior to us dating.  The "official" intro is happening Labor Day weekend but will just be casual with us doing some fun stuff together but not making a big deal of it.  After that weekend we'll adjust if we need to.

Glad you get it. Feels a little like SO around here.


13 year olds are crazy! Rough age. 

What part of Florida will you be moving to>:

I'll PM you.

[bullygirl979]

Aug 21, 2018 12:02:59 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Aug 21, 2018 10:32:33 GMT -5 mags said:

You look very happy and im so glad you met someone who is so awesome for you.

He sounds like a keeper, but it is SOOOO fast. Makes me raise my brows.

How much time have you spent with his son?
This is a huge deal with a child involved.

I don't want to be the "one" who goes there, but I love you and I have to. You would do the same for me.
You know all the others are thinking it, but ill be the one to say it.

I'm not judging im super happy for you and so glad you found the one. Its just the speed of it that concerns me,

Yep, not at all surprised that you would bring up your concerns...I'd be shocked if you didn't!   

I get the speed is concerning.  I'd be saying the same thing if I were the one looking at this.  So yes, I do understand and respect the concern.  All I can say is it feels like we're moving at a speed that is right for us and for our relationship.  If it feels like the speed is too much for his son we'll slow it down.  We've already discussed that.

See above on time spent with his son.  The simple answer is none as C's girlfriend and only some prior to us dating.  The "official" intro is happening Labor Day weekend but will just be casual with us doing some fun stuff together but not making a big deal of it.  After that weekend we'll adjust if we need to.

Has he or is he planning on telling his son about the house hunting and potential marriage? I really am happy you've found someone you really like and I'm probably the least qualified person to bring up concerns about the kid but I just wonder how he will adjust/react. Telling your son you have a girlfriend is really different than saying you met someone who will be your stepmom in the near future and who you're buying a house with. I would hate for anyone to get hurt (you included).

[kaneen]

Aug 21, 2018 13:10:28 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Aug 21, 2018 12:02:59 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Yep, not at all surprised that you would bring up your concerns...I'd be shocked if you didn't!   

I get the speed is concerning.  I'd be saying the same thing if I were the one looking at this.  So yes, I do understand and respect the concern.  All I can say is it feels like we're moving at a speed that is right for us and for our relationship.  If it feels like the speed is too much for his son we'll slow it down.  We've already discussed that.

See above on time spent with his son.  The simple answer is none as C's girlfriend and only some prior to us dating.  The "official" intro is happening Labor Day weekend but will just be casual with us doing some fun stuff together but not making a big deal of it.  After that weekend we'll adjust if we need to.

Has he or is he planning on telling his son about the house hunting and potential marriage? I really am happy you've found someone you really like and I'm probably the least qualified person to bring up concerns about the kid but I just wonder how he will adjust/react. Telling your son you have a girlfriend is really different than saying you met someone who will be your stepmom in the near future and who you're buying a house with. I would hate for anyone to get hurt (you included).

He's told him he's house hunting.  They've gone to look at places together.  No, he absolutely hasn't told him that we are planning to get married.  One step at a time.

[tiramisu]

Aug 21, 2018 13:14:34 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Aug 21, 2018 13:10:28 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Has he or is he planning on telling his son about the house hunting and potential marriage? I really am happy you've found someone you really like and I'm probably the least qualified person to bring up concerns about the kid but I just wonder how he will adjust/react. Telling your son you have a girlfriend is really different than saying you met someone who will be your stepmom in the near future and who you're buying a house with. I would hate for anyone to get hurt (you included).

He's told him he's house hunting.  They've gone to look at places together.  No, he absolutely hasn't told him that we are planning to get married.  One step at a time.

It seems a little weird that he and his son are house hunting, but his son doesn't know that it's so you can move down and live with them. I worry about you penally getting hurt and about his son potentially not reacting well if he feels like things were kept from him.

I feel like I'm the last one to talk, because I rarely even make it past a second date, but two months to know you want to be married seems so, so fast. I mean it that he must be great for you to feel so sure. But we're your friends and want to look out for you. I'm glad you're happy, I just worry.

[kaneen]

Aug 21, 2018 14:42:38 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

Aug 21, 2018 13:14:34 GMT -5 kaneen said:

He's told him he's house hunting.  They've gone to look at places together.  No, he absolutely hasn't told him that we are planning to get married.  One step at a time.

It seems a little weird that he and his son are house hunting, but his son doesn't know that it's so you can move down and live with them. I worry about you penally getting hurt and about his son potentially not reacting well if he feels like things were kept from him.

I feel like I'm the last one to talk, because I rarely even make it past a second date, but two months to know you want to be married seems so, so fast. I mean it that he must be great for you to feel so sure. But we're your friends aned want to look out for you. I'm glad you're happy, I just worry.

Yep, I get it seems weird to you.  To explain all of the details would make it seem like I'm trying to rationalize so I won't do that.  I do know what I'm doing but obviously can't guarantee I won't get hurt.  I can say there's nothing about the way we are handling this that makes me worry about C's intentions towards me or his commitment to his son.  So I feel good about it.

[spindle92]

This is how damn tired I am - I completely missed the he has a son part.

kaneen, I met a guy a little over a month ago and things are moving at warp speed with us but I am happier than I have ever been with a man, so I understand where you are coming from on the speed thing.
When you know you know.

Now on the kid part, (again I completely missed that part) it might be in his best interest to slow things down but that is his father's decision to make.

I just want the best for you.