DD has been down since Tuesday morning with autonomic issues. Her pain management doctor said the next step is an ssri used off label - I need to research that but hello time famine. Meanwhile she has missed the second week of high school and even I am stressed out about it.
My mom and her doctor have decided she needs to move into assisted living (progression of early Alzheimer’s). I think it’s for real this time so now I have to find a sliding scale facility that she likes that has an open bed. Since I am aware of zero sliding scale facilities currently and she’s picky this feels next to impossible. I don’t want her dog. I suck you guys.
2chatter, you don't suck! All that sounds extremely stressful. And I get not wanting an animal. My mom got a cat that hates everyone, hisses and growls or hides from everyone but my Grandma when my Grandma went into a nursing home.
Remember when I had to have the hard convo with my employee a couple of weeks ago? He’s still pouting. And his boss (my direct report) told me the employee thinks he was perfect and I only bitched at him because I was “taking the side of” another woman. The issue was he was extremely condescending to an outside person and apologized for the actions of another employee who hadn’t done anything wrong and didn’t need apologizing for. In fact, if he hadn’t felt the need to take over the meeting, I could have explained the miscommunication. But after he apologized (FIVE TIMES), I would have looked like a liar. I also had to tell him if he had bothered to read the room, he would have seen I was giving him clear signals to stop talking.
But yeah. When a woman corrects a man, it must only be because she’s having her period or is siding with her own gender. I should put my slapping hand away, shouldn’t I? We don’t snack our employees.
DD had a better day at school yesterday. It was the first day that she came home and actually TALKED to me about school beyond how sad she is, etc, so it was a step in the right direction.
My coworker convinced me to work from home this morning and let DD skip before care, so I took her to morning assembly. She was so excited that I was there.
DH and I decided that at least for the next few weeks, we're going to try to have one of us either take her late or pick her up early directly from class once a week. Hopefully that helps things out too.
Post by traveltheworld on Aug 23, 2018 18:26:20 GMT -5
I'm going on day 7 on parenting alone and am tired of it. On the other hand, DH and I are actually having good, long phone conversations. Usually when DH is away, since he's only gone for a few days, we don't talk much on the phone. And when he is here, we just tend to get caught up with day to day things, or we stare at our phones, so we don't talk either. But we've had hour-long conversations the past few nights, so that has been nice.
DDots - DS has been obsessed with playing Reversi (a board game), and has legitimately beaten me every time we've played. So yesterday I finally concentrated on my strategy and soundly beat him. He cried and threw a huge fit. I've got to teach the kid how to be a more gracious loser.
2chatter, Does either one of your parents happened to be veterans? With dad, one of the best facilities was the VA long term care home, and they had an Alzheimer's wing. The rest of VA care is abysmal, but the long term care facility was fantastic, and very affordable.
The kids are both doing great in school DS is breezing through his more advanced science class. In English, his teacher told him to pick a book to read, and he actually asked my opinion. I begged him to read To Kill a Mockingbird, which is the best book ever written (I have said that 30 times in two days). I think he won't read it because I want him to and have suggested it several times. We settled on A Painted House, by John Grisham, which is my favorite book of his, so it's a draw.
I think DD's volleyball team is going into a slaughter their first game Monday. I was highly annoyed at practice last night; they couldn't return my serves at all, so I am not too confident going in to the season.
I pitched my idea about getting the programs together for more cohesive reporting and coding. They loved it. I mentioned that what we need is some restructuring. She agreed, and has talked to the director about it, but he hasn't seemed to really bite. Oh well, I'll keep plugging away.
Post by covergirl82 on Aug 24, 2018 8:03:06 GMT -5
DS is doing pretty well in his football practices so far. DH is the head coach. He was telling me last night that a kid actually faked a leg injury so he didn't have to keep practicing. I always wonder if the parents push the kid to play and they don't want to, or if the kid just really doesn't know what it will be like until they actually start practicing.
School starts on Monday! I have a few more things to buy and get done before the first day. The open house on Wednesday night was a good experience - both kids got to meet their teachers and see friends who are in their classes (and also friends who are in other classes).
One of my HS classmates sent out a survey about a 20 year reunion...which isn't until 2020, thankfully, but still... I don't feel "old enough" to have graduated HS almost 20 years ago.
ETA: My other update is that DS got an expander (upper) about 2 weeks ago. It was a rough few days right after he got it in terms of his speech, but I think it's finally starting to get better. After the expander is on 6 months, he's supposed to have braces across his four front teeth. I just hope it's worth it in the end.
Post by erinshelley21 on Aug 24, 2018 9:38:48 GMT -5
New job is still off to a wonderful start. I've only had trouble moving 1 policy and maybe a 2nd, but new boss handed me a stack of 10 leads and scheduled a meeting with a prospect we are going to tag team so I'm not worried.
I haven't seen my brother in weeks and have only talked to him a handful of times through text. It's been a nice break but I do miss seeing him more than this. I dont want to see him every day but once a week or every other week wouldn't be terrible.
The realtor changed the price on our office the day I brought it to her attention. I have no idea if she called the two leads I gave her. I'll probably have my brother approach that one.
Kids are good. DS is still getting used to going to school every day. The homework chapter of our lives began this week. DD will be 18 months old next month and is starting to add a few more words to her vocabulary.
Life has just been a whirlwind lately. Its been a good whirlwind and fun but I need a slow down.
rere - my Dad was in Korea in the Navy, but even he had a hard time getting any VA benefits due to the lack of resources available. When he was dying he had 3-5 days of respite care in a sliding scale facility at a time, which was nice, but these were not places I would want my mom to actually live. It’s really stressing me out as really shady looking places in our area run 6-10K/month not including meals and medical. How do people pay for that??? Does that seem anything less than insane to anyone here because to me it seems totally nuts?
rere - my Dad was in Korea in the Navy, but even he had a hard time getting any VA benefits due to the lack of resources available. When he was dying he had 3-5 days of respite care in a sliding scale facility at a time, which was nice, but these were not places I would want my mom to actually live. It’s really stressing me out as really shady looking places in our area run 6-10K/month not including meals and medical. How do people pay for that??? Does that seem anything less than insane to anyone here because to me it seems totally nuts?
The VA home here was fantastic, the best staff and facilities. They took spouses. The other facility for dad was in our town, but not as nice. It was staffed by his friends and probably extended family, so he got great care. It took his entire $1600 disability check, plus he had some VA benefits, but not much. The other places in the city were horrific. He had to stay for a month at one for the PT, but it was horrific. We usually run about $3000 for a nice place. Getting VA benefits is a full time job, but the retired Vet organizations can help navigate or know the people who can.
rere - I am reaching out to a former neighbor who administrated VA benefits to see if there’s anything in the area that she might qualify for. I’m thinking she’s likely to get a better deal 30 minutes away from us anyway, so I will need to figure out that travel to see her, too. Maybe they will have WiFi and I can work from her place over lunch once a week or something. Ugh. So stressed about this.
2chatter, It's hard. I really only visited dad once a week and sometimes that was a struggle. I had one brother who lives 10 hrs away and one that is not helpful, so it was just me and thankfully a couple of aunts. It sucked for him, but in the list of priorities, I had to keep the kids going, the house going, stay married, and keep my job, so that was just the way it was.
rere preach!! I see my mom 1-5x a week and she’s 7 minutes away if I hit all green lights (or run one red light like I did when her secretary fell on her).
She has an open invitation and we talk enough that she knows our daily schedule. She chooses not to come over and it’s impractical for me to go to her apartment most of the time. Last night I added a refilled prescription to her weekly meds and had to get DS to soccer but sent her home with the roasted salad I made for dinner. Monday I sent her home with chicken when she first came to do her meds but I had to leave to get DD to soccer.
I constantly feel guilty - especially if on a Sunday I skip an errand or something and end up with an hour to read a book. I “should” be visiting her instead....
To counter that I added Aldi to the grocery rotation so 2-3x/month I take her flowers when I finish and she knows I have food in the car so can’t stay super long.
If she lives further away and can’t drive here? Ugh. Once every two weeks?? There better be a good grocery near her.
Post by erinshelley21 on Aug 24, 2018 21:03:10 GMT -5
2chatter there is a company in my area that provides help to families trying to get someone qualified for Medicaid, which significantly helps with the cost of assisted living and nursing homes. Like they help them figure out how to distribute assets, deal with bank accounts, etc to satisfy all the requirements. You may look for something similar to help you navigate this and find a good fit for your mom that you can both be comfortable with. The one here is an "aging and disability resource center" of you're wanting a search term.
Post by freezorburn on Aug 24, 2018 21:18:32 GMT -5
One week left until DS comes home. Still lots of things to knock off my to-do list! Lots of cleaning and decluttering, need to freshen up DS's room. Oh, and get my head into my job search.
DDOT: I got the most perfect-fitting pair of jeans off of my Buy Nothing Group! So awesome! They are NYDJ. Never heard of them, but they are perfect! Woohoo! I've been searching for over a year for new jeans, and these just Happened today.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Aug 25, 2018 5:40:34 GMT -5
DS told me he had lots of fun playing candy land with another kid at after care. So...that's interaction with another human and that's good. He also effusively told his dad he loves his school, again. So that is good.
I emailed DS' teacher on Thursday (about academic stuff related to his tutoring and stuff) and she hasn't answered me. I know she's probably busy and only has limited time to answer emails, but I hate that.
erinshelley21 - I will look for it! I’m worried that because she owns her condo, she has too many assets, but when that’s gone, that’s it. Back to monthly fixed income. So the extra challenge is somewhere she can afford near term then the sliding scale adjusts again when she’s out of money.