Self Care 9/10

[cam]

(Side note: Anyone with more time than I do lately is welcome to start these threads as well.)



How have things been this past month? Any plans? Any things you want to be doing differently? Any particular things been getting in the way of self care?

[cam]

Summer went too fast, so we have too many projects still needing to get done before we get too far into fall. Between that, appointments, work, stuff going on, etc, I have not been around much. I read a post here and there but always seem to run out of time before I can even respond. I have a little extra time today though because I have a sick kid laying on me. Overall, I have been good though. Hope things are going well for you all.

[bugandbibs]

I'm super overwhelmed. I haven't had a moment to myself in weeks. Work has been very stressful and we have decided to homeschool DD1, which means the couple of hours a week I had to recharge are now gone.

DS is doing well at preschool, but he's been very challenging at home. He's using all of his "spoons" to behave and work at school and he doesn't have enough control at home. It's only 2.5 hours a day, but he just started going 5 days instead of 2 and he's tired. I'm nervous all the time that he will get in trouble or have potty accidents. I'm trying really hard to focus on praising positive behaviors and redirecting negative ones, but it's exhausting. I feel like it's never going to end and the gap between him and his peers is growing. He's so advanced academically, but I am over the bathroom struggles.

[auntie]

cam, I hear you on the speed with which this summer passed. I made it to the pool once. Weather here was either too hot or raining. I have a trip planned to visit the beach in SC next month to make up for things.

DS is looking for a real job. Otherwise, he's good.

I've been distracted by looking after my mother. I thought once my dad died I could stand down from the hands-on caregiving. Evidently my mother did not look after her own health as she should have and has ended up in the hospital once and triggering all manner of testing. Plus she's started a major remodel of the house when dad died which has required me to dust off my project management skills. HVAC, roof, hardwoods, painting, window treatments, appliances and countertops are done- she takes delivery of a couple new pieces of furniture Thursday and she's done. I need her to find some like minded people with whom she can have some playdates. I need to get back to finding her a church to attend.

I need to get back to doing something for myself.

[auntie]

bugandbibs,


Homeschooling is a big step. One of my friends is doing a cyber charter for her high school aged son. He has some significant LD issues and it's been a great fit for him. They belong to a coop which allows him to do lab sciences and field study.


Are you still in limbo vis a vis a diagnosis? DS did pretty well with preschool but it really drained him some days. BUt yeah, that gap between where the well developing kids are and DS. For us it did widen over time and that was painful and frustrating at times. Times around developmental leaps for typical kids are especially hard. Around 4, first grade, 4th, 8th, ...

[bugandbibs]

auntie, it was a big decision to homeschool. DD1 has been asking for years, but we had a hard time figuring out the social aspect of it. She's now on a club swim team that meets 6 days a week, so she's with her peers a lot and has built in physical activity. That was a huge factor. Last year was a nightmare with 1:1 devices in school, not completing work and getting teachers on board with following her 504. DD1 will not complete work independently and trying to re-do and catch up caused a lot of tension and stress in our home. She's been great with the homeschooling, but I struggle with needing alone time. I solo parent most of the time because of MH's job and the one time I got before was the magic time they were all at school on Friday mornings. Loosing that is hard.

DS is still in limbo and realistically will be until he starts Kindergaden. Toileting is my major frustration, but he is still within normal. Just not the normal around me and the expectations of his school. Everyone seems to agree that he has SPD, but since it isn't a stand alone diagnosis he can't be officially diagnosed with it. He doesn't meet the criteria for anything else despite numerous evaluations and testing. I'm just tired and overwhelmed with worry everyday.

[waverly]

bugandbibs , can you get a babysitter once in a while or maybe a mother's helper that keeps them busy and you stay on site?


Not too much self care. We had a trip 2 weekends ago to see a band, so my mom watched the kids. No other babysitting planned for the entire fall/ winter though. We usually do a nature center/ program where we can drop the kids off for some babysitting, but they don't have it in their program book at all for Fall. Since we are not traveling at all until maybe Thanksgiving, I really need to start texting babysitters or something. The one babysitter I was going to use, I think his mom has a problem with her phone as the texts were not going through. I don't think it would tell me not going through if I somehow became blocked and nothing happened that I think she would block me. She was also telling me she had a cheap unknown provider and that the library couldn't text her either (automated system). So I guess just text my friends that have older kids to see if they will babysit....

[bugandbibs]

waverly I do plan to look for a new babysitter. Our most used ones both moved this year and I just haven't found anyone yet. I am lucky that I have family that can watch them for small amounts of time on the weekends, but they prefer not to have all 3 of them at once unless it's really important.

[funchicken]

Hi Everyone,

I think things are going well. We're three weeks into the year, and today was the first day I had to send an email to DD1's teacher about school-related anxiety, so I feel like that's a win.

DD2 is a total homebody, and she'd much rather be here with me. She's doing fine at school, but our bus situation sucks. The buses are packed because they can't hire enough drivers to cover the routes adequately.

DD3 just started pre-k on Friday, and she loves it. Her teacher is really good, so I'm not worried about her.

There's no self-care happening right now because activities and Girl Scouts are ramping up, but I'm hoping in a couple of weeks I'll be able to work some into the schedule