@ week of 9/24

[estrellita]

How are the little ones/pregnancies going this week?

[estrellita]

I didn't want to start this yesterday just to complain, lol. But part of our bad few days has been about the new owners of our DC. Starting next week, they aren't allowing cloth diapers. Which we've used there since E was a baby. This will cost us $100+ extra a month to cover buying disposables for DC. We attempted to discuss the issue with one of them and he would not even listen to us. He kept saying there were sanitary concerns (the only difference is putting it in a wet bag instead of the garbage) and financial concerns (won't cost them a penny to use our diapers) and that it was a "business decision". Those are the words you use when you lay people off. Ugh. He was condescending and stubborn and even told H that he had googled until he finally found ONE piece of evidence that supposedly said cloth is bad. And he said he knows nothing about them. But he won't learn or even listen to our concerns.

The good thing in all of this is that the current director (current owner retiring at the end of the week) and assistant director (taking over director) have been trying to change his mind, plus H has been pushing to get him to see our point of view. H even called our pedi clinic to see if we can get a doctor's note (A does have sensitive skin and cloth is better for that a lot of times). I love seeing H step up and fight for something important to us, and at least if the owners aren't on our side, I know the director is. Hopefully we can get somewhere and have him at least LISTEN to us but we'll see. He doesn't seem to care, even told us he'd so nicely not make us provide 2 weeks notice to leave. Thanks.

[luv2rn4fun]

((Hugs)) estrellita. That’s frustrating he won’t listen to you. Is it common for daycares to not allow cloth? FWIW, our go to diapers are Costco and Huggies. This month is the first they weren’t a great price and even so it wouldn’t be more than $50/month (you can even get a month supply of Target brand for $30ish...which you wouldn’t use all of in a month if just used for daycare). I just bought a box of Target and a box of Huggies at Costco...they were $0.17 and $0.23 per diaper, respectively. Amazon sometimes has Huggies for a great price too.

[katespade]

estrellita - Oh no! What a mess. It kind of sounds like the new owner has some sort of ulterior motive to wanting you to leave, with how obvious he's making it that he was actively looking for a reason to make your lives more difficult. Is moving A to another daycare an option, or are you stuck for now?

[katespade]

We're planning to cloth diaper, but I want to stock up on some disposables just in case we need them in the very beginning (she's too small for our cloth diapers, we don't have the energy to use them all the time, etc). What sizes/how many should I buy if the plan is to only have them around as back-up? I don't want to overbuy, but I also don't want to end up in over my head, unprepared to handle cloth in that moment, and without any disposables to get me through until I can get things under control again.

[estrellita]

Sept 25, 2018 13:57:35 GMT -5 luv2rn4fun said:

((Hugs)) estrellita. That’s frustrating he won’t listen to you. Is it common for daycares to not allow cloth? FWIW, our go to diapers are Costco and Huggies. This month is the first they weren’t a great price and even so it wouldn’t be more than $50/month (you can even get a month supply of Target brand for $30ish...which you wouldn’t use all of in a month if just used for daycare). I just bought a box of Target and a box of Huggies at Costco...they were $0.17 and $0.23 per diaper, respectively. Amazon sometimes has Huggies for a great price too.

Honestly I'm not sure. It wasn't something we considered when we were looking but our DC uses cloth at the center which saved us money before we started doing cloth at home too. I'm totally fine with them discontinuing those. They own 2 other DC centers in the area and they don't allow them there either. I sent an email to another center but haven't gotten a response yet. Other than that I haven't really researched it.

I estimated $100/month for extra diapers because I overestimated the number she'd go through on a daily basis, plus we do use disposables when we go out for longer than a short trip, so I figured that into my count. We usually buy Pampers because of the reward points (though now what I was saving for isn't on there) and I can't remember off the top of my head but the boxes we usually buy are like $25. I figured we'd go through a box per week.

I also hated the Target brand ones because she'd leak through them but at this point I don't care because maybe it'll prove my point that disposables aren't better at holding everything in (yes, pee will leak more with cloth if not changed enough but poop stays in much better, and which would you rather getting everywhere?). We don't have Costco here yet, I'm not sure when they will build, but Sam's hasn't been any cheaper other than a couple good sales. I've never really had to pay that close attention and I'm frustrated I have to because I'm terrible at bargain hunting and don't have time to run to a million stores to save a few bucks. One of the many reasons we decided to go with cloth!

[estrellita]

Sept 25, 2018 13:58:31 GMT -5 katespade said:

estrellita - Oh no! What a mess. It kind of sounds like the new owner has some sort of ulterior motive to wanting you to leave, with how obvious he's making it that he was actively looking for a reason to make your lives more difficult. Is moving A to another daycare an option, or are you stuck for now?

I'm not really sure what his deal is. We're not the only family to use cloth. He seems like a germaphobe because apparently they also need to wear gloves now to feed breast milk and can't even rinse our bottles in the sink (which, fine, but I don't really see how this is any sort of risk).

I mean, I could switch her. But there several problems. I don't know what other centers will do cloth diapers. I don't know who has openings for one or both of them. I don't really want to move E from his friends and teachers he's grown up with and I don't want to drive all over town to drop them off at separate places. Plus, this center is still cheaper. Though if I can find one that allows cloth, if the extra cost is offset by what we're saving in diapers, it would be worth it.

I could tell the directors were upset. They don't want us to leave. I don't really WANT to leave. But I can't have them at a place where they completely disregard the families concerns and wishes when IMO they're reasonable.

Oh, fun fact. These people also own a center we looked at when I was pregnant with E. We set up an appointment, showed up... they were closed. It was MLK day, but I thought they were open those holidays, and why would they make an appointment for that day?? And they never even contacted us afterwards to apologize or reschedule. Once I knew that, I knew this was going to be interesting.

[estrellita]

H just texted me and said our pedi will write a note stating she recommends the cloth diapers. He also said that the soon to be new director is trying but she also said the owners have the right to refuse us service if it comes down to it. So they could literally kick our kids out of the daycare they've been in their entire lives over this crap. If they so much as threaten that I'm going to be even more pissed. That would be a completely asshole move to do that to our kids, especially E. Ugh, now I'm pissed all over again.

[pooh8402]

Oh man I'm so sorry he's being such a dick to yall.

Tbh, someone with that kind of animosity towards me, is not someone I would want to waste my time with. I would start looking around. Which SUCKS because you've been there so long. I just feel like if you were to stay, even if you win this issue, it will be the first in a long line of issues you will have.

[luv2rn4fun]

Sept 25, 2018 15:15:35 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Oh man I'm so sorry he's being such a dick to yall.

Tbh, someone with that kind of animosity towards me, is not someone I would want to waste my time with. I would start looking around. Which SUCKS because you've been there so long. I just feel like if you were to stay, even if you win this issue, it will be the first in a long line of issues you will have.

((Hugs)) estrellita. The whole thing sucks. But I have to agree with pooh8402. I don’t think I would want someone like that over seeing the care of my kids. I would definitely start looking and be prepared to leave...you might be forced to anyways at this rate so at least you would be a step ahead if it comes down to that.

As far as diapers...we stock up when they are on sale. I honestly cannot imagine you needing to spend $100/month. C still uses 2 per day (nap and bedtime) and L is in diapers 24/7 and we still only spend $35-50/month. And this is with Huggies. Pampers are definitely more expensive and haven’t been better for us so I would not go that route. Huggies are my favorite, then Costco. Target are lower on my list but I am trying them again to see if we can get away with using them for L during the day (which might not work because he has sensitive skin).

katespade- I would buy a couple big boxes of size 1 and then re-evaluate as you determine how much cloth diapering you want to do. Size 1 worked for both my tiny babies from the beginning and lasted for quite awhile. Maybe 2x 200/box??? Whatever the months worth of diapers is on subscribe and save for size 1 (probably more than 200 because size 5 has 172 and infants go through diapers a lot more) and get 2 boxes so it would last 2-3 months or so if you are doing a combination.

[luv2rn4fun]

Today has been busy! We ran 5 miles this morning, went to Target, both boys and a dentist appointment (which was HORRIBLE, poor L just screamed 😢 and C didn’t want to have his teeth cleaned either), Costco. Came home and unloaded everything. Wrapped L’s presents and finished his bday banner during nap.

[HoneySpider]

I'm sorry estrellita, that sounds extremely frustrating. I'd be pissed too.

I agree with pooh8402 about not wanting to deal with them anymore. I feel the damage is done - no matter what, you're going to remember the way they treated you.

I also agree with luv2rn4fun about being able to get diapers cheaper...I was able to stockpile quite a bit for both kids but even when I just need to buy because I'm low, it's still not that much. Do you do Amazon S&S? I generally buy through there or just take advantage of deals at stores like CVS - I can get good prices when combining an extra bucks deal with coupons. I think the way to get the best price is to be flexible on brand - I generally am open to trying any brand if it's cheap enough. Like luv said, I've also bought a lot of Huggies (since they seem to be the best "normal" price without coupons, deals, etc) but I also recently bought both Pampers and Honest because of deals. I haven't tried Target but I've done CVS and Aldi before.

[estrellita]

Thanks all for not making me feel crazy over this, lol. pooh8402 that's my exact concern. What else is going to turn into a bigger than necessary issue? They clearly don't care about the kids and families, just the business side of things which IMO a daycare isn't the right place to have that kind of attitude.

I got a response from the other center we had almost gone with for E and they do accept cloth diapers. BUT they probably won't have any openings at all for a year unless someone leaves, and that's just for A. I'm going to see what kind of deposit they would require to put us on a waiting list and keep looking around too.

[estrellita]

Sept 25, 2018 17:11:40 GMT -5 HoneySpider said:

I'm sorry estrellita, that sounds extremely frustrating. I'd be pissed too.

I agree with pooh8402 about not wanting to deal with them anymore. I feel the damage is done - no matter what, you're going to remember the way they treated you.

I also agree with luv2rn4fun about being able to get diapers cheaper...I was able to stockpile quite a bit for both kids but even when I just need to buy because I'm low, it's still not that much. Do you do Amazon S&S? I generally buy through there or just take advantage of deals at stores like CVS - I can get good prices when combining an extra bucks deal with coupons. I think the way to get the best price is to be flexible on brand - I generally am open to trying any brand if it's cheap enough. Like luv said, I've also bought a lot of Huggies (since they seem to be the best "normal" price without coupons, deals, etc) but I also recently bought both Pampers and Honest because of deals. I haven't tried Target but I've done CVS and Aldi before.

We don't do S&S but I think when I've looked in the past they weren't cheaper than Target. We really only buy one box every like, month or so? Sometimes I'll buy 2 at once if there's a gift card deal at Target but usually not. And the deals are usually on the smaller box, not the huge one. Maybe I'm misremembering how many diapers are actually in a box but I thought it was like 70 something. I can't remember, lol. Anyways, I'm open to other brands especially now that the Pampers rewards kinda suck. Maybe I'll use smaller amounts for Shutterfly prints or something instead!

[HoneySpider]

katespade, I think you're safe with buying size 1s and thinking they will last a while. Both my kids are big and still were (are) in 1s for a while. I think R went through something like 700? T will go through less (he's bigger) but still probably 500 or so. That's using only disposables. You could probably just buy a big box (200 ct or so?) of 1s to start.

[estrellita]

Well crap. I'm finally getting a chance to look over the new paperwork. They're not only now closing on president's and MLK day, but ALSO they will close on Fri or Mon if the holiday is on a weekend. And ALSO they can close on days around major holidays if there aren't going to be enough kids there. So they're completely screwing people over that work those days. It's not exactly easy to get off work around holidays which is WHY we chose this center!!! Grr. He told us there was maybe one day that would be different but this is completely different! Ugh, need to read more..

ETA also they only serve breakfast from 8-815. They usually don't get there until closer to 830. So that's cool.

[katespade]

Also, we ordered our crib this weekend because I found it on sale and it's supposed to be delivered on Thursday. We don't currently have a room to actually set it up in yet, but HOLY CRAP THIS IS STARTING TO FEEL VERY REAL.

[grover]

estrellita, Just as an FYI, Sam's Club brand diapers are identical to Pampers. We just switched last box, granted we're in size 4/5, but there's definitely more in the Sams Club box than a Pampers box bought at SC.

[estrellita]

grover Thanks, good to know!

[bk1]

Good luck with finding a new daycare estrellita. I can only imagine how stressful and frustrating all of this has been for you.

[luv2rn4fun]

Sept 26, 2018 6:13:29 GMT -5 bk1 said:

Good luck with finding a new daycare estrellita. I can only imagine how stressful and frustrating all of this has been for you.

All of this estrellita. ((Hugs)). I hope it all works out for you guys.

[luv2rn4fun]

I have been awake since before 4a for no reason other than my brain was going 100 mph with all the stuff going on these next few days. Finally got out of bed at 5a and am enjoying quiet and coffee.

We have L’s 2 yo appointment today so curious to see how that goes. I am probably going to bring up concerns about C as well (my gut tells me there is something else besides just being 3 and difficult. I hope not but it’s enough concern to mention it).

L’s bday tomorrow so need to get us packed for Disney. My biggest reason for being awake was stressing over how/when to make his cake for Sat (and how to store it). I am probably going to Michaels today to get a cake board and box...yay, more money! 😀. At least there are two boxes and even more boards so I can use them for C’s cake and DH’s cake!

[estrellita]

They said no about getting a doctor's note for the diapers. So I guess we're done with that. I've been talking to an in home that does have openings but she doesn't do any preschool curriculum. So I don't know.

I just feel so stuck. I don't know what to do. I feel sick thinking about leaving. It's been like a second home for our kids, especially E. After I saw the look on his face when I told him his friend had gone to a different school, I knew it was going to be hard when kindergarten came. I just didn't think the possibility of leaving this life he's always known would come so soon. I also don't want to sacrifice his learning but I have no idea how we could get him into a preschool and do daycare part time or something. And sending them to two different places sucks for numerous reasons. There's no winning here for any of us. They came in and screwed us over and don't care at all.

I did email the new director with the additional concerns that came up so I'll have to see what she says about those things. The owners don't care. I actually found a review for one of their other centers from 2 years ago talking about how badly they treated people when they took over (unclear if it was that location or another center they took over). And another person saying not to use the first center, but no context. So... this appears to not be a new problem.

[Blue Moon]

estrellita, I'm so sorry you're dealing with so much re: daycare. In the spring, I was devastated when my kids' daycare was surprisingly closing at the end of the month. It was all the kids had ever known, I trusted and loved the staff etc. etc. I had to quickly chose another place that had two openings and I was really nervous. B was so upset when I told her and I felt truly awful that I was ruining her comfort. She shed some tears, and so did I, but we really didn't have a choice. I just acknowledged her feelings about being sad and focused on all the positives of the new center.

Anyway, it's been almost a month now and for the most part, things are going well. My son (16 months) doesn't really know the difference. My daughter still frequently says how much she misses her old center, the teachers, her friends etc. but she also really seems to be thriving in the new environment. There are still some things I preferred about the old center, but I'm trying to appreciate all the positives that our new center seems to offer. It stinks that it's more expensive, but for us it's just an expense we'll have to incur for a short time until B start K next year.

It's such a tough decision. It's hard to say what I would do in your situation, but I think it'd be really tough to deal with these types of owners for years to come. To radically change so many things is a red flag for me, I think. If so much is going to be different anyway, then part of me thinks why not just start completely fresh somewhere else? Huge hugs to you, friend.

[pooh8402]

So... do these people just go around buying up daycares and ruining them until they close or what?

[estrellita]

Sept 26, 2018 11:28:08 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

So... do these people just go around buying up daycares and ruining them until they close or what?

Unfortunately (?), no lol. The other ones are still open and those were the only bad reviews. They had two 5 star reviews out there from staff and a couple legit ones.

[pooh8402]

I felt little flutters just a few minutes ago!

[luv2rn4fun]

ewall- thanks! It went really well 😀. He offered a speech referral but I just said we will wait this one out and re-evaluate in 6 months. He is very happy with L’s lungs and not getting sick when C did! He also said that time will tell with all the stuff with C...I think he really just feels like he’s being a 3 yo, which is ok and reassuring, just sucks when he’s so exhausting at times. Oh, and he was super encouraging of continuing to BF L. LOL because DH is over it and at some point I am going to have to force the issue if L doesn’t on his own (DH thinks it’s weird at 2yo but honestly it’s not that big of a deal...morning, before nap and bedtime, never in public anymore).

Aww, poor DD 🙁. I hope it goes well for you guys! I am surprised they didn’t want to see her sooner? I know nothing about girls and rashes but I think it’s something we wouldn’t wait more than a day for (and like a same day appointment). Second kids definitely get much less noticed...L has a spot on his nose between his eyes (bruise like) he’s had since birth. DH wanted me to ask about it (but mentioned it like 2 weeks ago and no reminder) and I totally forgot. Next time kiddo...

[luv2rn4fun]

Preschool, well baby appointment, shopping at Michaels, walked to preschool for pick up, washed our bedding and made the bed, dusted the house, mostly packed for DL tomorrow, made the 2 cutout for L’s cake, cleaned our master bathroom, and did work for my dad! Busy busy...almost halfway through this crazy week!!

C brought home a library book from the preschool library. He LOVES it! We read it 6 times in the short time we were home before nap 😀.

[estrellita]

I updated on MMM but if anyone that doesn't read there doesn't see.. apparently one of the teachers said she got a new job but really she didn't. She just flat out quit because she didn't want to work for the new owner. I wish I could find out where she ends up!

My coworker told me what daycare her daughter (who is 3 days younger than E) goes to and I might check them out. They're pretty much on our way in and out of town if we just take the back way (or go the usual way but turn down another road a little ways). I think I might just get on some waiting lists and see how things go. The new director emailed me back on some concerns and made me feel much better, but apparently the owner's response was "too much to type" to her, so we'll see what he says. Hopefully he doesn't sway me back to being angry and ready to leave again. Ugh.

ETA: 2 other teachers are leaving including one of our favorites. Grr. We had a good talk with the retiring director. Sounds like no one really knew any of this was going to happen and all the changes were supposed to be gradual (like the diapers). Apparently her husband has even been extremely upset about everything and she has to talk him down. Ugh this whole thing just sucks.