Daycare Policy expectations

[k3am]

Before/Aftercare did not post a lice notice like they're supposed to. DH followed with them yesterday morning, and they supposedly didn't know there was lice. There was no exposure notice posted when I picked up. Same thing this morning. According to the director, the notice was posted AND they've been doing lice checks on all the children each morning. She also claims an exposure notice was sent out to all parents today - but I didn't get it. I call bullshit. (I have asked her to clarify where, exactly, the notice was posted because I didn't see it and I looked. She hasn't responded)



They also have a "strict" written policy of no outside food or drinks (besides water) - that I confirmed in writing with the director prior to school starting. This week is fall break, so she's there all day. Yesterday she ate nothing because she didn't like what they served. I told her it was her own choice and we have to follow the rules - and she lets me know other kids brought food from home. According to the director, it's because staff and parents don't know the rules and that those children who had home food were asked to eat outside. I may have sent her a rude(ish) email... too rude?



"So what exactly is the policy on food? What are you planning to enforce? Today, a center employee told my husband, in front of DD, that we could bring her food from home as long as it doesn't have peanuts/peanut butter in it. Do I now need to tell her this isn't the case?



It is very hard for me to manage her expectations and trying to stick to the rules when the staff isn't following the rules and is telling us things contrary to the stated policy. Can I send her with food that she will actually eat and she can eat outside? Yesterday for lunch, she had milk. And that's all, because she didn't want to eat what was served. I am fine with this if this is the rule, but she was very upset that she had nothing to eat while other children could eat food from home."



I mean, I know I don't love this center already, but things with DD are looking up. But this kind of stuff is really, really, annoying. (Especially the lice stuff. I don't want to go through the hassle of treatment and daily combing only to have her getting reinfected because notice didn't go out.) 

What is your expectation on items like this?

[sdlaura]

Ugh - sorry you're dealing with all this stuff. How many kids had lice? Our school only does checks if there's more than one kid, but they do let everyone know by email even if it's only one kid.

I would honestly just send food in her backpack if they're not well organized about whether it's allowed or not.

We like our aftercare but I don't feel like they're equipped for all day care - so during our fall break we use the YMCA camps. Do you have other options for future breaks?

[k3am]

sdlaura, we don't know if any other kids had lice as there's no exposure notices sent and none of the parents we've seen in passing have let us know.

We can do a camp through parks and rec, but the full day coverage for breaks is built into our pricing for the current program.

[sdlaura]

Got it. We can either elect to pay them for fall break camps (2 weeks long) or do other camps.

Last year DD had lice for the first time and we let the school nurse know and they sent out a notice. But then later we heard that another girl in her class had it first, and we never heard about that one, so I'm not sure whether the family didn't report it or if the school just didn't send a notice. So much stuff is looser in elementary school than in the daycare/preschool world we were used to!

[k3am]

I guess I forced the issue - they sent out a notice that they're going to enforce the no outside food policy. Which sucks for DD, but at least now there's a clear expectation.

I guess I just start to worry that if your staff isn't aware of or chosing to ignore the very basic, clearly stated, and publicly advertised policies and procedures, what else are they willing to overlook?

[sdlaura]

k3am, I'm totally with you on your concern if you don't trust them, and it sounds like you've had lots of issues.

We kind of like that the aftercare policies are looser than in daycare/preschool - for example, we decided to let DD sign up for the local soccer club's rec soccer team that practices at her elementary school. It's not affiliated with the elementary school, so we just assumed that DH had to leave work early once a week to pick her up at aftercare and get her changed and to the 3:30 pm practice that's at the school. But then a staff member DD loves at aftercare offered to take her over to practice once a week and help her tie her shoes and everything.

Of course, I had always assumed DD loved aftercare but then she asked me if she could take a workbook with her to aftercare so she wouldn't be as bored. I had no idea she was ever bored there. So maybe I just have a kid who doesn't tell me stuff and that's why I think it's great

[186momx]

k3am, wow our before/aftercare posts just about every illness on the doors. Last year I saw notices for lice, flu, and strep along with how many confirmed cases.

Now the school doesn't post or communicate anything illness related home. I was told they no longer did lice checks or could send out notices for a lice outbreak because it violated HIPPA which is a bunch of bull. I'm guessing it caused to many panic phone calls to the office/teacher instead. I wish we just got a note home in our weekly folder saying a child in X grade has a confirmed case of lice. Please check your child head and remind them not to share hats/coats.

Food I would stick with the rules in the handbook and when someone breaks the rule I would point it out like you did. Also I can't believe they couldn't find something for your DD to eat even if it was just goldfish or a cheese stick. I'm glad we have to provide our own meals on no school days and the center only provides snacks.

[k3am]

sdlaura, I don't even know where I'm at on it. Things had really been looking up there, and then all this comes up. I'm sure I look like a crazy lady.

I do know that I don't like being the bad guy in my kid's eyes because I'm following their policies and their own staff isn't.

[k3am]

Oct 2, 2018 16:51:32 GMT -5 186momx said:

Food I would stick with the rules in the handbook and when someone breaks the rule I would point it out like you did. Also I can't believe they couldn't find something for your DD to eat even if it was just goldfish or a cheese stick. I'm glad we have to provide our own meals on no school days and the center only provides snacks.

Usually she finds something she's willing to eat there. I didn't get the whole menu, but it was some kind of corn dish. The other day, it was canned chicken salad and she ate the bread. 

[justcheckingin73]

I would be totally annoyed by the food thing. Or rather the general lack of following through. I tend to be a rule follower so if they tell me this is the way it is and then it’s different, I’m annoyed. And I probably would have sent an email with the same tone.

The lack of notice for the lice is ridiculous too. I’ve had to call school to tell them that dd had lice and I know for a fact that she got it from a friend who’s mom never reported it because the letter went out only after I made the call. I would want to know if that’s going around especially since they have preventative treatments now. 

[k3am]

They posted the notice and claim I just missed it (I didn’t) and that they’ve been checking every kid in the morning daily. DD says they didn’t check her yesterday but they did today - after snack, about the same time they emailed me to let me know the notice had been posted. She also says that no one else was checked. (I’m not sure how much weight I put on her report.)

So it’s possible that being a squeaky wheel has singled my kid out.

I’m basically feeling like crud about the whole situation.

[sandandsea]

I’d be uber annoyed about it all. The food thing either is or isn’t a rule and for a reason. If it isn’t enforced then it shouldn’t be in place. Other parents are relying on them to enforce the food rules due to allergies. If they aren’t enforcing rules, it’s a problem. The lice notice would bother me too. It’s a state law right? Doesn’t it have to be posted for x days? Seems like they need more oversight. Is there a district leader you could call and discuss the issues with? If nothing else you could get out of any contract due to breech and go somewhere else.

[k3am]

They have no idea what they’re doing. First she emailed to say that we can bring packaged foods only for DD as an “exception” so they can read the labels and make sure there are no allergens.

Then they send this out, and while they mention allergy concerns, their bigger issue seems to be nutritional content.

[xctsclrx]

k3am, I would then look at the menu and just make sure you don't pack junk food or anything with nuts in it. Foods like apples, bananas, carrots, string cheese should be good. To me that policy is looking to make sure parents don't let their kids pack a bunch of sugar and making sure the parents know not to pack a bunch of sugar.

My old coworker thought nothing about giving her 2 year old sweet tea and 5 year old coke all the time. Truly didn't see anything wrong with it.

The lice thing is something else. I wouldn't let this incident be the deciding factor, but if there is a pattern maybe reconsider your options next year or after Christmas.

[covergirl82]

I'm a rule follower, so it bugs me when policies aren't enforced and other parents ignore them/don't follow them. For example, I get it, as a WP, that it's not convenient and can be challenging work-wise to have to stay home with your kid an extra day due to the 24-hour fever/vomit free policy, but I always have felt it's in the best interest health-wise of the kid to stay home an extra day and rest/recover. But this is also one reason I don't want to move too far away from my parents. They are usually available to help on days the kids are sick (or the rest/recovery day) and both DH and I have something important at work that prevents us from working from home that day.

I would also vote that if things don't improve around Christmas that you look for other options.

[2chatter]

I wasn’t totally getting it until I read that email. Kids should not share food period. It really is that simple and has been true at all but one DC and school for us. The one who permitted it had no kids with allergies and only three kids in the room so it was easy for two teachers to make sure everyone was eating. With a bigger group and sharing - no! Hopefully the allergy parents flip the table - that is a crazy cakes approach the DC has going on there.

As for lice - I would change tacks and ask them to initiate lice protocols, to include mandatory sending home of bedding for washing, washing of soft items the school supplies, lice checks, no sharing of hats/brushes/pillows/dress up etc until everyone has been lice free, parent notification - but I would push for an established protocol so that everyone has and knows the framework. The CDC guidelines now downplay the transmission, but in a DC situation they should take precautions. FWIW I did daily checks and retreated with Licefreee (overnight allowing it to dry) 7-10 days after we were “done” and that kept me sane.

Just UGH on all the food stuff.

[mustardseed2007]

Given that email, I would go ahead and start bringing food from home, no question.

Also, it sounds like they posted the notice about the lice now, after you got on them to do it. So I'd let that go also.

[k3am]

Oct 3, 2018 8:40:16 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

Given that email, I would go ahead and start bringing food from home, no question.

Also, it sounds like they posted the notice about the lice now, after you got on them to do it. So I'd let that go also.

I am happy they posted the notice. I'm concerned that DD says she is the only one they're checking for lice. I'd rather have them check no one than single her out. (Assuming that what she says is correct)

[mae0111]

My kids were never in DC, but they learned on the first day of preschool that sharing food is not allowed. my 5 year old, who is NOT my rule follower, looks at me with wide eyes when telling me that she CANNOT share food. The kids should be eating together, supervised, to ensure that no one shares. I understand nut free, but IMO, everything else should be acceptable and up to the parents.

[mustardseed2007]

k3am , actually, yeah, that was weird. If that's the case then I'd talk to them about that because obviously, if they are going to check kids why would they only check the one kid? It's not going to be effective to do anything for sure.

I mean...effective at being horrible to the one kid I guess. 

[k3am]

mustardseed2007, she at least sees nothing wrong with being singled out. But if you're going to go through the effort of checking anyone at all (which I don't think they SHOULD be doing - by law I think they're just required to send out the notice and let the parents handle it), it's probably pretty futile to check the one kid who's parent has been adamant about notifying others and that it be taken seriously.. because I'm pretty sure it's a safe bet she's getting checked pretty thoroughly.

[mustardseed2007]

Oct 3, 2018 9:43:47 GMT -5 mae0111 said:

My kids were never in DC, but they learned on the first day of preschool that sharing food is not allowed. my 5 year old, who is NOT my rule follower, looks at me with wide eyes when telling me that she CANNOT share food. The kids should be eating together, supervised, to ensure that no one shares. I understand nut free, but IMO, everything else should be acceptable and up to the parents.

Same. We went and ate lunch with my kid for his birthday and I offered him something out of my lunch and he said no b/c they aren't allowed to share food. 

It's really not a hard rule to enforce. 

[k3am]

I'm just frustrated with the whole thing because I feel like a whiny ninny.

The only issue we ever had with DC that I had to make a big deal about was a HUGE safety concern that I had no qualms about getting someone fired over (for part of the day, they had a sole care provider didn't speak enough English to let me know if DD had fallen or had a seizure. No one in the office spoke her language (I think it was Mandarin? It's been years), so I wasn't convinced that if she did have something serious, that she would be able to properly convey what had happened to anyone).

[waverly]

Ugh the whole thing sound frustrating.
I'm assuming they have always posted and e-mailed the lice thing in our school/ aftercare/ DC. I guess I wouldn't know for sure.

Ours allows food from home but no nuts. Having kids not share is not that hard.

[phdmomma]

k3am , They just closed our aftercare for lice, because too many of the staff are out for it. I posted in the FFFC. But ours is not very competent either.

[livinitup]

Our childcare did a wonderful breakfast and lunch each day and posted the menu each month. We could send food for any day that DD didn’t want what was posted on the menu. No weirdness at all. So, I used to send lunch when tuna fish was served ... until I forgot one day and she ate the tuna fish with the rest of the kids. Lol. I didn’t know how good I had it with that hot breakfast/lunch option until we switched to YMCA camps. I’d say it is TERRIBLE messaging that maybe you can, maybe you can’t send lunch. And my email would have been exactly the same.

Lice notifications have been really weird. They would only notify if the “room” had a case. And our elementary school does not notify (which is a really touchy subject with parents). But still, their inconsistent messaging would really bother me. Like, was the director lying to you??