Post by covergirl82 on Oct 15, 2018 6:50:00 GMT -5
waverly, we've gotten a few private baseball lessons for DS through the travel baseball organization he plays with. DH always stays for the lessons, so DS is never alone with the coach. The owner, who often is the one giving private lessons, is the coach at our school district's high school, so at least I know he has to have routine background checks (although that still never guarantees they are safe). I'm planning to get DD a few private lessons through her gymnastics place, but I would also stay to watch during the private lessons.
We only play rec and school sports and the kids all do various kind of private/extra - for fun, and nothing too intense. It’s SO worth it in soccer at this age to do it for 1) ball handling 2) situational 3) conditioning. YSA rules changed a couple years ago nationally to encourage more touches - and that is what it takes as they get bigger for them to want to keep playing. My kids love being the ones with skills - whether that means a volleyball cross court hit or a helicopter in soccer or whatever. It’s great for building confidence and they generally love it.
We don’t do ongoing commitments with private coaches though. We do finite sets, the most has been 8 weeks.
And WTF to the assault guy? If that happened here he would not ever go back to the park! Parents would almost literally riot. NextDoor would probably explode.
I would definitely be more comfortable if I knew or had found the coach. At this point it is just some random guy to me that someone found that I don't really know them either.
Honestly I am not sure why there wasn't a riot. I get it is a public building and anyone can come in, and how easy it is not to notice. But then again I am thinking how come no staff noticed this guy hanging around the indoor basketball courts soliciting coaching sessions. He was not related to the park district at all- he didn't work for them or any organization.
We did and are still doing privates for DD with gymnastics. The gym recently changed the rules and coaches can't run a private unless another staff member is in the building. So no more privates when the gym is closed which makes it hard to fit in privates. We don't do anything set in stone. DD has another private on Saturday and right now those are about confidence building more than anything else. DD needs excitement and positive energy this coach has vs the negative her normal coach uses.
waverly, does your DS want to do the lessons with the other boys? Doing semi-private lessons are much cheaper and a whole lot more fun. Think of it has even if he doesn't go competitive he will have superior soccer skills for the playground/fun.
186momx , DS overheard us talking about it, so I think he wants to do the soccer private lessons. He really needs skills in basketball not soccer because he is playing basketball starting in January and soccer is almost over with. He is interested in playing basketball, but not the skills classes or camps. I think it makes more sense to concentrate on the sport he will be in at the time.
He was one of the best players on his team for soccer, but it was that classical team described by someone above where half are good players and half don't care. He was one of the worst in basketball, so to me it makes sense to bring him up to level with the other kids in that sport for his self esteem.
But his opinion is different. I have a feeling the other boys have chosen soccer as their sport to specialize in maybe? But to me, 8 is too young to specialize. Maybe I can strike a compromise with him...
I don't know how I didn't know this board was here, I've been around since the migration. Anyone mind if I just jump in?
DD1 (10) just got bumped up to the highest practice level of her swim team. She has been swimming competitively year around since she was 5 and absolutely loves it. This is her last season as a 10U and she has some pretty big goals she is hoping to crush before March. She also took up XC for the very first time and really likes it. She had to run a timed mile in gym class and all her friends were dreading it. She came home and was all embarrassed and kind of whispered "I kind of liked it", lol! So we found a program through our parks department and she practices one night a week, and they have a few meets. Some of which she will have to miss due to swim meets.
DD2 (6) does gymnastics 2x a week. She says it's "her thing" and she has truly tried just about everything. She also does XC with her big sister.
DD3 (will turn 3 next month) has no activities yet, but I will enroll her in gymnastics next month.
Post by traveltheworld on Oct 15, 2018 14:56:42 GMT -5
DS played goalie for the first time for hockey on Sunday. He was terrible. The kid barely moved. We stopped counting after the 15th goal. Hilariously, when we asked him how the game was afterwards, he was all enthusiastic and was like "did you see how good I was in net?!" Uh...what?? DH and I are still giggling about that.
It was supposed to be loosely based on The National Enquirer's slogan "Enquiring minds want to know." The original forced acronym was: Thursday WpERs need to Know. It was inspired by the woman (Judy???) whose coworker wore the same blue shirt every day to work. I never got sufficient resolution on that btw. Just sayin'... I think Judy's gone now anyways.
Sport update/vent: DD's coach A came up to me after practice last night. She has given DD until the end of the month to get her floor skills as she is tired of dealing with her not having them. She needs handstand to forward roll perfected, handstand to bridge with kick over (not even close), backbend kick over (not even close). We've gotten better at some of these. We can do the handstand to bridge 25% of the time, kicking over is a problem but the coach just expects DD to do it without actually teaching her the correct way so it isn't working. We had our backbend then crashed and smashed our head attempting one and now have a fear of bending backwards. We already had a private schedule on Saturday so I guess it is overtime duty now. I'm frustrated because coach A just expects DD to magically get these skills with no help from her and for the last 3 weeks all practice has been is conditioning to make the girls stronger which DD has gotten but they aren't working on skills. Coach A did say if she got those skills then she would more than likely move up which is what I think we all want. I just hate having to pay for privates when the coach won't teach during practice.
Good point is DD asked questions to coach A last night. Coach A was complaining that they were all messy on the trampoline and DD was like okay what am I being messy on and Coach A just told her to shush. DD asked questions a couple other times to when she was told to make it and DD was like I'm trying but something isn't right and I don't know how to fix it.
186momx - competitive gymnastics is huge here - but tons of kids do it for fun, too. Does DD really enjoy this not learning stuff? DDs’ friends on team (at a gym that has produced several Olympians) have team 4-5 days a week, but it’s great instruction and they don’t get stuck on skills like it sounds like your DD does. I may be wrong, but unless she’s 4 or 5, you may want to consider a different gym or just doing it for fun. Does that appeal at all? The coaches sound...impatient and like they aren’t trying to help her improve.
(FWIW my DD only has two of those skills, not reliably or perfectly, and her team friends have had them for years or got them barely trying).
Post by mustardseed2007 on Oct 16, 2018 13:18:16 GMT -5
186momx , Is there another studio you can go to? Where we are there are 2 studios within close driving distance...one is competitive and has a reputation for having mean coaches. The other is more for fun (where we go) although they still compete so it seems competitive enough to me. There is also a third, further away and also for serious competitors but apparently with nicer coaches than the competitive one near me. At least that's what people say.
What are you choices in your area like?
EDIT: Also - she's giving her until the end of the month or what? She's kicking her out? Can she do that?
2chatter, waverly, this is the first coach we've run into that has been like this and I think the only coach in the gym that coaches this way. We really enjoyed moving up through the pre-school classes and the coaches were always very supportive, encouraging, helpful and most of all positive. Gymnastics isn't competitive here. There is some competition and team rivals but nothing like back east or down south. The girls who keep at it do it because they love it. The college about an hour away has a good gymnastic team and very seldom do they have any local/in state girls who make the team. DD's goal is to be on team and maybe do college gymnastics which is a long way away. The next level up coach acts way more like the preschool coaching staff does and takes things slow and breaks it down so the girls understand why they have to do things just so to make things easier. She is also the one who places them on team when they are ready and most of the time she makes it happen in 6 months.
mustardseed2007, we are at the nice coaches more have fun gym already. I have no idea if she plans to kick her out of class or what. I think she is trying to intimidate her into getting the skills. I really don't think she can kick her out but who knows. We weren't the only parent that she talked to last night and our conversation was much nicer than some of the other parents.
Sport update/vent: DD's coach A came up to me after practice last night. She has given DD until the end of the month to get her floor skills as she is tired of dealing with her not having them. She needs handstand to forward roll perfected, handstand to bridge with kick over (not even close), backbend kick over (not even close). We've gotten better at some of these. We can do the handstand to bridge 25% of the time, kicking over is a problem but the coach just expects DD to do it without actually teaching her the correct way so it isn't working. We had our backbend then crashed and smashed our head attempting one and now have a fear of bending backwards. We already had a private schedule on Saturday so I guess it is overtime duty now. I'm frustrated because coach A just expects DD to magically get these skills with no help from her and for the last 3 weeks all practice has been is conditioning to make the girls stronger which DD has gotten but they aren't working on skills. Coach A did say if she got those skills then she would more than likely move up which is what I think we all want. I just hate having to pay for privates when the coach won't teach during practice.
Good point is DD asked questions to coach A last night. Coach A was complaining that they were all messy on the trampoline and DD was like okay what am I being messy on and Coach A just told her to shush. DD asked questions a couple other times to when she was told to make it and DD was like I'm trying but something isn't right and I don't know how to fix it.
How old is she? My oldest did it for a few years from 3-7yo and in all that time never mastered any of those skills. DD2 is 6 and started gymnastics this summer and can do almost all of them now. She will watch a YouTube video of a skill and work on it all day until she has it down. She loves the sport and is never not flipping, bending, or splitting in the living room. She really is a "natural". DD1 never connected with it the same way. She went to practice, and that was about it.
I think gymnastics is one of those sports where there really has to be some element of natural talent in order to progress. I think if you are pouring in the time and the money (which it sounds like you are) then maybe it might be time to reconsider if this sport is really a good fit for her.
mustardseed2007 , we are at the nice coaches more have fun gym already. I have no idea if she plans to kick her out of class or what. I think she is trying to intimidate her into getting the skills. I really don't think she can kick her out but who knows. We weren't the only parent that she talked to last night and our conversation was much nicer than some of the other parents.
Did the other parents tell her to fuck off?
I would have been tempted. Or so thrown that I wouldn't have said anything at all ... which is much more likely TBH.
mustardseed2007 , we are at the nice coaches more have fun gym already. I have no idea if she plans to kick her out of class or what. I think she is trying to intimidate her into getting the skills. I really don't think she can kick her out but who knows. We weren't the only parent that she talked to last night and our conversation was much nicer than some of the other parents.
Did the other parents tell her to fuck off?
I would have been tempted. Or so thrown that I wouldn't have said anything at all ... which is much more likely TBH.
(ETA: I meant this whole thing TIC)
This is what her private lesson coach asked me. I don't have the guts to say it out loud. But know the right people to talk to get the conversations known to the big guys.
I think I would have been tempted to go tell her boss “I pay her to teach my child skills, not threaten to kick her out of the gym. She seems confused on both counts. I’m assuming you will address that with her?”
So I signed up to coach basketball after the awesome coach we had last year dropped out. For some reason, they didn’t allow a draft - the “directors” put the teams together. They said that they would try to keep the teams together from last year - so I thought I would get the team I helped with last year.
Nope.
They gave me the nastiest kids, the biggest bullies, all the kids that no one else wants to coach. The directors stacked their teams.
So... I quit, and I’m pulling DD from the league. Because I’m not putting my kid through 4.5 months of that crap. And also because F the directors.
Thanks ladies. I’ve been staring at the ceiling running over everything in my head, second guessing as I always do. I feel terrible about breaking my word and backing out. But it’s not worth putting DD through an awful season.
I got a semi-nasty email from the director about how quitting is inconvenient for him. I reminded him that he said he would do his best to keep last year’s teams together - and mine was chopped up for parts and distributed across 4 teams.
One Director is the dad of a kid that was one of the worst to DD. The other is best friends with Frenemy’s parents. I should have predicted how this would turn out. And yet, it’s still keeping me up all night.
I hate this town and I want to move. Not in the cards yet but I think I am wearing DH down.
Post by traveltheworld on Oct 23, 2018 5:28:11 GMT -5
mae0111, sorry it's so crappy. But at least now you have more free time?
DS was so excited when he found that he was on the same hockey team as 2 of his friends. Now one friend has quit. I feel bad for the kid - his Dad is super into hockey, was the assistant coach, but it was pretty obvious that the kid hated it. Refused to skate the last game. So I don't blame them for quitting. But now we are permanently down 1 player and 1 assistant coach. And for whatever reason, the other players on our team are not very committed. There have been 4 games and each time, our team only had 6 - 7 kids while the other teams always had the full 11. It's hard to play when you don't get a break. Luckily so far DS hasn't complained. I think a few parents on our team are going to email the league and see if we can get an extra player and assistant coach, so we'll see how it goes.
Post by covergirl82 on Oct 23, 2018 9:52:03 GMT -5
mae0111, so sorry that happened, but good for you for not putting up with it.
DH and the other coaches had a pizza party for DS's football team last evening. A few of the kids and/or their parents/guardians gave DH cards with nice notes. One of the kids has kind of a rough home situation with his parents, so he's living with his grandma and grandpa right now. The grandma and the kid each wrote a really nice note, about how DH (and the other coaches) provided a really nice experience, and the grandma said it was a huge positive for her grandson right now. DH let me read the note, and it made me tear up a bit. He was considering not coaching next year, but we'll see, maybe receiving some of that kind of feedback will change his mind. I couldn't help but feel that had he taken the approach that a few other coaches we know took - basically to put kids they think don't have a future in football in positions so they fail and quit - the outcome of the season would've been so different from an impact on kids' outlooks on football and a personal intrinsic reward perspective. Now there are a number of kids who, even though they lost more games than they won, are looking forward to next season and continuing to grow and improve as players.