Struggling with first ultrasound decision

[woowoo]

My husband is gone for week my 6th week of pregnancy, right when we could have our first ultrasound.  My mom will be here, so I at least wouldn't have to go alone, but I know my husband really wants to be there.  I'm struggling between taking my Mom and having the chance to see the heartbeat as soon as we possibly can (this is a PGAL so I'm super anxious) and waiting until the 7th week when my husband can go. 

Help me make this decision by telling me what you can do because I'm 50/50 either way.

[Mushe]

That’s so hard, woowoo! It’s really hard to wait, but it’s also really awful if they can’t see anything yet, or there’s a flicker, and you need to come back anyway. It’s such a personal decision that I’m not sure any of us will be much help.

For me, I think I would wait, but you may feel differently.

[icedcoffee]

I'd go without him and I'd text him the pics or facetime him in if they allow it.

Does your RE do 2 early ultrasounds? We had one at 6 weeks 6 days and another at 8 weeks 6 days so he could see it at the second one. My OB then did one at 9 weeks 2 days so there were a lot of early ultrasounds.

[katespade]

Does your H have an opinion either way? If he wants to be there, I would definitely try to wait until he’s back. If he doesn’t feel strongly about it, I would probably go for the earlier scan.

[scm1011]

If your H doesn't object I'd probably do the earlier ultrasounds for peace of mind, especially since you'll have your mom as a support person.

[kellikans]

I think with my anxiety being PAL, I'd want to go as soon as possible with my mom. My RE allowed videos. Would yours let you at least do that? Then you could send it to him? Or video chat during your appointment?

How many ultrasounds do you get with your RE? I had one every week until 10 weeks when I graduated to my OB. At least he'd be able to go to the next one.

[shauni27]

oooof, that is really tough. PGAL is no fucking joke. But I also remember being in the doctor's office and going to ultrasound alone because my H was not there with me when I got the bad news. My mom offered to come, but all I wanted was my H.

For me personally, I would rather wait one more (long ass) week so there was 1) a better chance of seeing/hearing things and 2) so my H could be there either for excitement (hopefully!!) or support (god forbid). But there is no right answer; just what feels best to you guys.

[pooh8402]

It's so hard. With my first pregnancy, my H was present for the first look at 5w2d, but all we saw was a sac and fetal pole. He was out of town for the next ultrasound at 6w1d, but my mom was there. We saw the heartbeat and got a recording, which my H watched later. I saved all the pictures and videos on a thumb drive. I was really glad to have my mom there for support and H was available for all other ultrasounds for that pregnancy.

With this one, he's missed 2 out of 5, both because of work.

[woowoo]

Thanks all....appreciate the thoughts and opinions. I decided to wait until my husband is home. My mom flies out the afternoon of what would be the day of the ultrasound and ultimately if something is wrong, I'd end up alone for a few days after that anyway (or, more likely, my Mom would end up not leaving which would make me feel awful).

And we've waited so long to get here, and my husband has been so awesome through all the bad stuff, I can't stand the idea of him not being there for the happy moments when he can be.

Thanks again!

[thoseareradishes]

Sounds like a good plan! Glad your H can be with you.

[luv2rn4fun]

Such a tough decision but I think you made the right choice, especially with the update.

With our first pregnancy, my DH was at the first u/s where we saw the heartbeat together. He had to work for the 2nd appointment so I had my mom go with me (she was really sick (and passed away since due to said disease) at the time and I wanted to include her as a way to give her some happiness in the midst of everything). Anyways, we found out it was a mmc at that appointment. While I was glad she was there and able to take me to the confirmation u/s (where they wouldn’t let her in the room)...I actually had some feelings about DH not being there for all of that. I felt like I went through it by myself, even though he would have been there had I pushed for him to be (he actually asked me that morning and I was so confident things would go well). Because of that experience (and another loss, which he was present for) he didn’t miss many appointments with DS1 (much different with DS2 though).

Prayers this is your rainbow baby!! Sorry you have to wait that much longer to see the heartbeat- that definitely is not easy. I hope these next couple weeks go fast for you and your appointment goes perfectly!