Intro

[rikiteacup]

I've been posting on the Getting Pregnant board but I think I will move over here.

H and I have been TTC for 6 months now and since we are both over 35, we started testing. My H just got his SA results back and they are bad. His sperm count per m/L is 3.3 million and his motile/mL was 1.6 million.

Of course I have been on Google all day long and it looks like our options are pretty limited since his count is so low and looks like he has severe oligospermia. He is going to do more tests at a fertility clinic and we'll go from there.

My H feels broken and since both of his brothers have been having a kid almost every year, this makes it super hard for him.

Any advice, success stories are appreciated.

[icedcoffee]

Welcome! I'm sorry you find yourself here. I hope your stay is short.

There's a lot that can be done so please stay hopeful. My H was diagnosed with azoospermia in 2015 (zero sperm count). Long story short, we did a sperm retrieval surgery to get sperm directly from the testicles and they still found zero sperm. They put him on clomid (a female fertility drug as a last resort). We had amazing success. I can't remember his numbers at that moment, but I want to say they were at like 250 million or so which is still low(ish) but so much better than zero! We went ahead with IVF and had our current 2 year old. We're currently going through IVF for number 2.

IVF will be your best bet. Most RE's won't bother with IUI for those numbers. My rec would be to call a fertility urologist ASAP and get your H on some clomid if they agree. I would plan on doing IVF after him being on clomid for 3-4 months.

All hope is not lost! Happy to answer any questions you might have.

ETA:  You'll want to do IVF with ICSI since it's male infertility.  That's where they basically inject your egg with a sperm.

[pooh8402]

Ditto everything icedcoffee said. H has low sperm count and morphology, and anti-sperm antibodies on top of that. His numbers were borderline for IUI vs IVF so we went with IUI first to try to save money. We did 5 unsuccessful IUIs and IVF with ICSI to conceive our 3yo.

And long story short, we had to do 2 more rounds of IVF to conceive my current pregnancy. The second cycle we did had much better quality embryos and more surviving, and DH had much better numbers. The difference is that he saw a urologist and was on Clomid and Fertilaid for a few months prior.

[rikiteacup]

Thanks everyone. This is encouraging.
We know of another couple (10 years younger than us) who had an unsuccessful IVF. Considering is costs $20K, this sounds scary. Is it $20K for each try?
We'll have to talk about this since I agree, IVF is probably our only option. I don't want to drain our savings. And since I am 36, the success rates are declining each year. We've talked about sperm donor too.

[pooh8402]

My first cycle of IVF was like $14K, including meds, iirc. Then assuming you have embryos frozen once the cycle is completed, FETs (frozen embryo transfers) are generally about $3-5K each I think. It's not usually $20K for each try.

DH and I started saving for IVF a year ahead of time, while we were doing IUIs. If your H does the Clomid, that buys you time to save.

[cherryvalance]

Also make factor here and our only successful pregnancies have been via IVF with ICSI.

Since these ladies have covered the treatment part, one thing is like to say is it was very, very hard on my H. We know an older man who had testicular cancer and one testicle removed and still fathered a child soon after, in his 50s. My H struggled so much with that. It helped to keep phrasing everything as "our issue." And counseling.

[pooh8402]

cherryvalance, my H has struggled with that too. I keep telling him that it is our issue, that IF is a couple issue, not any one person, and shoot, I have my own IF issues too. Basically, we need IVF to get pregnant, but I'm also a high risk IVF patient.

[thoseareradishes]

I would also recommend a second SA to confirm; sometimes you just have a bad day (or a bad day 3 months ago when those sperm were made). My H took basically male prenatal vitamins and while his numbers were never fabulous, they never got worse.

Costs for IVF vary greatly by clinic, and are also affected by what procedures you add on (e.g. ICSI, genetic testing) and prescription costs (some women need a lot more meds than others).

[icedcoffee]

My clinic has a shared risk program so we paid $22k plus meds, but that was basically a get pregnant or your money back deal so we at least knew we weren’t throwing money away. This time we have insurance coverage so we will be covered by that.

[icedcoffee]

Oct 5, 2018 16:23:00 GMT -5 cherryvalance said:

Also make factor here and our only successful pregnancies have been via IVF with ICSI.

Since these ladies have covered the treatment part, one thing is like to say is it was very, very hard on my H. We know an older man who had testicular cancer and one testicle removed and still fathered a child soon after, in his 50s. My H struggled so much with that. It helped to keep phrasing everything as "our issue." And counseling.

My friend got pregnant by an almost 60 year old man and we found out the same month he had his failed sperm retrieval surgery. It was a really bad night in our home that night for both of us. I drank so much wine that night. Infertility is so rough.

[cherryvalance]

pooh8402, I hear you. We're still not sure if I have a blocked tube, but I know H saw it as his "fault."

icedcoffee, ugh, I'm sorry . Infertility is such bullshit.

[King26]

Price varies by clinic. My first clinic it was 11k plus ultrasounds plus meds. My second clinic IVF was only 5k plus meds. I got my son from the clinic that was cheaper so dont let price scare you. ( my clinic is cheap because it's a university teaching hospital)

[seeyalater52]

No advice on this issue but I just wanted to say welcome and I’m sorry you find yourself here. I hope your stay is short!

I see you mentioned considering donor sperm and while I’m sure the considerations are somewhat different for us as a same-sex couple, we used donor sperm and if you ever have questions about that I’m happy to weigh in. We did a ton of research before choosing a bank and donor and I know it can feel overwhelming on top of everything else.

But given the other responses if you are able to do IVF and want to go that route it sounds like you should be able to try with your husband’s sperm if that is what you decide.

[rikiteacup]

Oct 5, 2018 18:51:44 GMT -5 thoseareradishes said:

I would also recommend a second SA to confirm; sometimes you just have a bad day (or a bad day 3 months ago when those sperm were made). My H took basically male prenatal vitamins and while his numbers were never fabulous, they never got worse.

Costs for IVF vary greatly by clinic, and are also affected by what procedures you add on (e.g. ICSI, genetic testing) and prescription costs (some women need a lot more meds than others).

Yes, he will go for a second SA, this time either at a fertility clinic or a urologist.

In the meantime, we've ordered Fertilaid for men. His multivitamins might not be enough.

[Mushe]

Welcome, and I am sorry you find yourself in this situation.

As others have said, please don’t despair! There’s a lot that can be done. I have a child conceived before we knew of any issues, and a surprise baby after we gave up on treatments. I have severe diminished ovarian reserve, so our treatment failures were probably due to my eggs.

Clomid really can help a lot, and IVF with ICSI is a great option if it doesn’t improve enough for IUI.

[scm1011]

My DHs SA results were abysmal by all 3 measures (worse than your H's), so much so that my RE said IUI was off the table and IVF with ICSI was our only option. Despite this, I've been super fortunate they we are now 2 for 2 with treatments (my DS was conceived with out first fresh embryo transfer, and I'm now newly pregnant with our first frozen transfer. So don't lose hope! I was/am also AMA with both pregnancies (35 and 37).

[boiler717]

Welcome! I hope your stay is short. I don’t have a lot of advice about MFI but I wish you luck in your journey.

[stellelinds25]

Welcome! My husband and I are also MFI...my husbands counts are below 1 mil...our RE said he had enough good sperm to do IVF with ICSI. He didn’t recommend any other treatments (IUI, etc) because his counts were so low.

As far as affording it...we really couldn’t and didn’t feel comfortable taking out a loan, so I got a part time job at Starbucks...their insurance covers fertility treatments up to $20k if you work at least 20 hours/week. Some weeks suck working two jobs, but it will be well worth it in the end. Plus it’s actually a really great company to work for (lots of great perks!) and I enjoy it a lot. Not sure if this is an option for you, but just throwing it out there!

[Aloe Vera]

Oct 8, 2018 9:58:35 GMT -5 stellelinds25 said:

Welcome! My husband and I are also MFI...my husbands counts are below 1 mil...our RE said he had enough good sperm to do IVF with ICSI. He didn’t recommend any other treatments (IUI, etc) because his counts were so low.

As far as affording it...we really couldn’t and didn’t feel comfortable taking out a loan, so I got a part time job at Starbucks...their insurance covers fertility treatments up to $20k if you work at least 20 hours/week. Some weeks suck working two jobs, but it will be well worth it in the end. Plus it’s actually a really great company to work for (lots of great perks!) and I enjoy it a lot. Not sure if this is an option for you, but just throwing it out there!

Thank you. We can afford it thankfully and I don't know if my H's insurance covers IF treatments. I know mine doesn't.
It's just that $20K is A LOT for something that is supposed to be free (sex + conception). It seems so unfair.