Funny kid sayings

[mommyatty]

DS had a snotty sneeze at dinner and started laughing and said “I just sneeze-puked.” Brought to you by the same kid who while swimming in the ocean said “Mama, can you hold me for a minute? I need to scratch my penis-boob.” Meaning his scrotum.

Also, we ate at a new (to us) Mexican restaurant near the birthday party for his classmate. We walked in and he said “Can I get chicken nuggets in this place?”

On the way home, I announced “No eating candy back there! We just ate dinner!” Because they had candy in their party goody bags. DD said “Wait! That was DINNER?” She ate a whole basket of chicken strips. What did she think it was? “Lunch! Did we eat lunch?” Yes, child. You ate two pieces of leftover pizza. Then 3 pieces of pizza at the birthday party. She has to be on the cusp of a growth spurt.

[supertrooper1]

I gave DS naan bread with his dinner tonight and he said he was eating non-fiction bread.

[sdlaura]

4.5-year-old DS has said some good stuff lately. The other day he said ‘Mom, I wish I was born a shark instead of a person.’ When I asked him why he said ‘so I could eat fish....but I don’t really like fish.’

6-year-old DD told DH the other night that she worried someone was going to break in and steal her because of her red hair. She gets a lot of attention for it, so I guess it makes sense that she’d worry about it. He assured her that she’s safe.

[xctsclrx]

I am currently trying to prep my son for his next doctor's appointment. I foolishly thought that preparing him was better than letting him go in blind like I did for the ENT appointment.

we are at the doctors office for DD:

DS: This my doctor too.
Mom: Yes you have an appointment here after your birthday we are here for sister today. Do you know what happens at a doctors visit?
DS: yes
Mom: What happens then
DS: I don't know
Mom: first they are going to measure your. Find out how tall and how much you weigh. Then they are going to listen to your heart and lungs, look in your ears and nose and throat. Then at the end you are going to have to get a couple of shots. Are you going to listen and behave so you can get a treat?
DS: YES! what is a shot?
Mom: It is a medicine that they put in your arm to make sure you don't get sick. It hurts just a little bit. Like a little pinch on your arm. Do you want to feel?
DS: Yes
Mom: Pinches DS's arm gently. ( I swear)
DS: OUCH! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
Mom: That is what a shot feels like. You are going to have to get two.
DS: oh
Mom: are you going to behave for the doctor?
DS: NOPE
Mom: If you don't behave you won't get a treat.
DS: I won't have a treat.

Well at least you warned me kid.

[mellym]

DD2 has been obsessed about numbers and age since she's turning four this month. She was going on about ages to DD1 while they were getting ready for bed. She goes, "and then you're 90 and then 100 and you die".