Daycare Question

[xctsclrx]

Background: We love our daycare. We drive 30 min out of our way so that DS and DD can go there. Most importantly I love the infant room, secondly DS is very happy there, loves going to school, loves his teachers and his friends. We are planning on keeping them both here  until DS goes to Kindergarten, then we have to move DD

We also live in the bible belt, but neither my H and I are religious. We are not anti religion either (we will let family take kids to church if they want) 

Yesterday my son was saying a blessing at dinner. He says they do it at school. 

Would you say something to the daycare director? It is not a deal breaker for me, but I would rather daycare not teach things like this to my kid.

[rere]

Is it a public, state funded preschool or private?

[keh2oblue]

Is the childcare at a religious institution? If so, I don’t really think you have a place to question. If it’s not, I would ask the director about why they do it or if they can stop.

[librarychica]

It would depend on the contents of grace. So long as it is brief and vague, I’d let it slide. We are not religious and the same thing came up at our non-church-affiliated daycare but it was so innocuous and vague that I didn’t see any point in making a fuss. There as no religious instruction otherwise.

[xctsclrx]

rere, private I think. I pay full price, but I know they work with families on government assistance for childcare.

keh2oblue, not a religious institution. That was one of my pre reqs before picking a place. When we started looking church day cares did not have to be licensed. They have since changed those laws.

[ilovelucyvv]

Blessings for meals are usually done in large groups. I don't see how excluding him from the blessing is a feasible option in this case. My kids are 3 and 5, and I am going to assume that your DS falls under this age range.

If you are very strong against it, I think you would have to move them to another daycare, assuming this isn't a public-run daycare.

[xctsclrx]

librarychica, it was the typical kids prayer

God is good
God is great. . .

[xctsclrx]

ilovelucyvv , I know that there are at least two other kids in his class that are not Christian. One is Jewish and one is Muslim. I don't think the kids should be saying it at all. Not just excluding him. It is also in only one class with one teacher. If it had been through out the entire time I might feel differently.

Like I said. Not a deal breaker but I don't feel great about it.

[traveltheworld]

I would ask the centre whethet this is their policy or whether it's just one or two teachers that are doing it and also ask about context. If the answer is that they keep the "God" concept very vague and it references just a higher being and can encompass all religions, then I'd probably let it go. Even though I'm not religious, I don't have an issue with a basic introduction of the concept of a higher being. However, if the answer is that they talk about or references any specific religion, I'd push for more discussions and answers from the daycare on how they'd handle kids from other religious backgrounds.

[mommyatty]

The daycare may not even know it’s happening. I would say something to the director if it hasn’t been in any other class. Just along the lines of what you wrote here “We chose this center in part because it wasn’t religiously affiliated. While we aren’t hostile to the concept of religion, we prefer our kids learn about religion at home. What gives with the sudden praying before meals?”

We chose our kids’ school in large part because it’s not religious. If this popped up at their school, I would be flipping tables. I accepted it when the kids went to a part-time preschool at a church, but not now. Also, in the Bible Belt (we are in it too), people honestly cannot fathom that anyone doesn’t believe precisely what they believe. The teacher probably thinks she’s performing a public service.

[2chatter]

I’d for sure ask. At our former Montessori the kids celebrated all religious holidays represented at the school as well as some others and different worship type elements popped up from time to time as part of culture studies - sometimes they prayed before a meal, they had a period where meditation and mindfulness were the focus, dharma and other things I can’t remember offhand. I’d ask to find out if this is part of a larger program or just Bible Belt - we are in the Bible Belt and all of our private non-parochial schools have had a similar focus and exposure. DS asked his last teacher if two boys could get married and then followed that up with a church question and she told him all gods love love, which was the perfect answer for a five year old (or 55 year old ha). I’d dig into specific teachers in conferences if you have any doubts. I would have in a heartbeat.

[k3am]

I'd ask before making any assumptions. Maybe there are a couple kids in his class that say a prayer before eating because it's what they do at home. Or maybe the teachers are implementing it. Maybe it's something else. A preschooler's interpretation of the day's events are always a crapshoot.

[waverly]

I agree ask before making assumptions. However I would bring it up as I think it is not consistent with their secular view and students of other religions.

[vasc]

I am also equally non-religious and live in the Bible Belt. One of the three daycares we’ve been involved in also did a mealtime blessing (private, non-church daycare). It was clearly listed as a procedure in their family handbook and I admit to overlooking that before enrolling.

That being said, I’d also weigh whether or not this is the hill I want to die on with regards to your DCP.

[sdlaura]

Our kids go to the YMCA preschool, which has a semi religious background. They do a sort of blessing before lunch, but it’s kind of a ‘we’re grateful for our food and friends’ thing. I think I’d be ok with a god reference but not Jesus

[xctsclrx]

Oct 9, 2018 14:27:03 GMT -5 k3am said:

I'd ask before making any assumptions. Maybe there are a couple kids in his class that say a prayer before eating because it's what they do at home. Or maybe the teachers are implementing it. Maybe it's something else. A preschooler's interpretation of the day's events are always a crapshoot.

This is my other concern about bringing it up. DS is usually pretty accurate when describing what happens during the day even if it involves him getting in trouble, but who knows when that will change. Also he doesn't have a concept of time. Everything is yesterday even if it was a month ago. 

[xctsclrx]

So I think I am going to bring it up casually to DS's teacher. Something like DS came home saying blessing at dinner yesterday, did he pick that up here? That way I can hear her side of things without being confrontational about it.

I talked to my DH and he doesn't care. He said there were worse things DS could pick up from school.

Like I said this isn't my hill, but if they were to start a Sunday school type environment it would be.

On a different note DS came home yesterday singing the "keke do you love me" song and singing the alphabet backward.