Bath time struggle

[Mrs.flang]

Lately, and then specifically pretty much every day this week, DD has been an absolute monster at bath time.  We get her undressed in the bedroom and then walk next door where her bath is already set up and she is agreeable through that part.  A big problem has been that she wants to try to sit on her potty, but never has to actually go potty and will sit there forever if we let her.  I'm thinking I need to take the potty out of the bathroom for a while until she seems more ready.

So then comes trying to coax her into the tub.  I give her the choice to step in herself or have us help her.  When she doesn't do it herself I say, ok it seems like you need me to help you, and I lift her.  She kicks and bends and screams and fights me, and won't stand or sit in the tub.  If I don't give her the choice at the start and just tell her its time and I'm going to help her, its the same result.  We end up putting her back down outside the tub so she doesn't hurt herself, and then repeating 3 or 4 times until she obliges, and all the while she's screaming.  Sometimes I stand in the tub with her or sit on the side with my feet in and that seems to help her a little.  She calms down after a few minutes and usually ends up being happy in the bath.  But OMG, it's freaking exhausting, and so frustrating.  I almost lost my cool last night.  And it definitely feels like one of us is going to get hurt eventually because there is so much struggle. Both DH and I are there the whole time with her.  Help?

PS she's 26 months but I also think some of the behavior is the stress of still living at my parents house (coming up on 5 months now), and me being pregnant.  :/

[lauren170]

We went through this with DD at that age. We had a removable shower head so we just used that to wash her while she stood up. You could also try showering with her. That worked too. DD grew out of it after a few weeks I think. It’s just a phase.

[Mrs.flang]

Oct 12, 2018 8:51:10 GMT -5 lauren170 said:

We went through this with DD at that age. We had a removable shower head so we just used that to wash her while she stood up. You could also try showering with her. That worked too. DD grew out of it after a few weeks I think. It’s just a phase.

I have to keep reminding myself that everything is a phase!  That helped me so much when she was just a baby, lol.

We have a removable shower head at home but not at my moms, so maybe that will help when we get back in a few weeks.

[raangoli]

Is there something fun you could give her to entice her to get into the tub? We go through phases with that - we had some squirt bath toys (but we had to toss them bc they eventually got moldy), we give her buckets, or the latest is a non-slip bathmat we put down that looks like a giant rubber ducky that she loves to "swim" on:

smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B01M34FV1W/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

(The mat rolls up and we put it away after her bath)

[joy]

Can you let her help you fill up the tub?

What about somethng fun to do in the tub? Toys, crayons, etc?

We shower my daughter and she gets scared sometimes. I just keep it moving. “You have to stay in the shower! Want to soap my feet? Want to touch the water? I know, it’s scary but look! The water doesn’t hurt. See? Mommy’s all wet!”

[icedcoffee]

What about these color dying tabs? Maybe she can be the one to throw it in? Maybe the color of the water will excite her to get in?  I'm sorry that sounds exhausting.  We basically go through that twice a day with tooth brushing.

[scm1011]

Off topic, but icedcoffee you brush your DS' teeth twice a day? Eeek, we still only do once 

[Blue Moon]

My daughter did this around the same age as well. What worked for us was enticing her in with new, fun toys. Bath paint was the winner. We poured it in a little palette, gave her a brush, and she got right in. I also bought one of those faucet covers because at one point she was afraid of the faucet.

[icedcoffee]

Oct 12, 2018 9:24:01 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Off topic, but icedcoffee you brush your DS' teeth twice a day? Eeek, we still only do once 

Well---if by brush teeth you mean maybe get a little bit of toothpaste on 1 or 2 of his front teeth while he screams, cries, kicks, and runs away then yes...we brush twice a day.  LOL

[Birdie]

We went through this for a long time. DS always conveniently “had to poop” when it was shower time. It honestly kept going until we took the potty out of the bathroom.

ETA: he now finds new ways to stall. He lays on the floor naked now. What also helped was getting a sticker for “chores” aka taking a good shower, picking up toys, getting dressed, etc. If he gets at least 4 stickers in a day he gets a star. 5-6 stars = toy. It was more motivating for him to take a nice shower.

[raangoli]

Oct 12, 2018 9:24:01 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Off topic, but icedcoffee you brush your DS' teeth twice a day? Eeek, we still only do once 

We do 2x a day, after breakfast and then after milk/before bed. We do not floss, I do it when she gets things stuck but that's rare. 

[dcn]

Yeah both kids went through that phase. We just soaped them up fast while they stood and screamed.

Bubble bath, new toys, bath crayons etc sometimes helped.

[Mrs.flang]

icedcoffee, I just bought those bath drops. Seems promising!

And yes, we have similar fights over teeth, but for that it's slightly easier to hold her down at least.

[luv2rn4fun]

Oct 12, 2018 9:27:23 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

Oct 12, 2018 9:24:01 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Off topic, but icedcoffee you brush your DS' teeth twice a day? Eeek, we still only do once 

Well---if by brush teeth you mean maybe get a little bit of toothpaste on 1 or 2 of his front teeth while he screams, cries, kicks, and runs away then yes...we brush twice a day.  LOL

I let both boys watch a picture slideshow “movie” on my phone or play pandora while I brush their teeth. It helps a lot!

EatA: this started when DS2 started screaming during his inhaler treatments, which I also have to do 2x/day. It’s a must so I figure it was more important for him to have his inhaler correctly than worry about screen time. But now I use it with both for teeth.

[kdubs923]

It's a phase, but not fun. Can she have her own loofah? Or one of those cheap magic towels that you get at the dollar store (comes in tiny package, expands once it hits the water).

These have also been a hit (also found in dollar spot for cheaper than shown on Amazon):
Bath capsules:
smile.amazon.com/Magic-Capsules-various-themes-package/dp/B000096R2E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1539359521&sr=8-1&keywords=bath+sponge+in+capsules

Foam bath sets that stick to the bathtub walls when wet:
smile.amazon.com/Bees-Me-Toddlers-Girls-Organizer/dp/B06ZZK4HMZ/ref=sr_1_21_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1539359606&sr=8-21-spons&keywords=bath+foam+play+set&psc=1

Or these I bought off Amazon were a hit with both the 2 and 4 year old:

smile.amazon.com/dp/B001R5TJ8G/ref=sspa_dk_detail_0?psc=1&pd_rd_i=B001R5TJ8G&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_p=f52e26da-1287-4616-824b-efc564ff75a4&pf_rd_r=KDCRG0YKEVGQQ7NDV6W6&pd_rd_wg=M5Bol&pf_rd_s=desktop-dp-sims&pf_rd_t=40701&pd_rd_w=mxq01&pf_rd_i=desktop-dp-sims&pd_rd_r=3874508f-ce37-11e8-9a8b-017d633f01ef

Pretty much I would just try to distract as much as possible and if nothing worked then power through as quickly as possible. :/

[longtimenopost]

Lush bath bombs, color tabs, and bath fingerpaint worked for us at that age.

[pooh8402]

Toys! E has a crapton of bath toys that get rotated. He usually loves bath, and I have a hard time getting him out. Also, make sure the water temperature is okay. E likes his baths lukewarm, almost cool. So he doesn't want to get in if it's too hot. We also occasionally take a bath with him if he's really resistant for some reason.

[jaycee]

Try switching up the routine and bathing her first thing in the morning or at another time of the day. When my sons are devils, it is usually because they're tired/hungry/overstimulated. It may seem like she is mad about the bath or she doesn't want to stand or whatever, but it may be she is just acting out bc she is tired.

[joy]

Oct 12, 2018 11:15:58 GMT -5 jaycee said:

Try switching up the routine and bathing her first thing in the morning or at another time of the day. When my sons are devils, it is usually because they're tired/hungry/overstimulated. It may seem like she is mad about the bath or she doesn't want to stand or whatever, but it may be she is just acting out bc she is tired.

This is very much my kid, too. She’s just done at the end of the day sometimes. Once she was so upset when I tried to bath her that we stopped, put her to bed and tried again in the morning to great success.

[mbcdefg]

I don't know how you feel about screen time, but we play one of the old Sesame Street videos about bathtime/Ernie's rubber duck while DD is in the tub and she gets a kick out of it.

We don't have a tablet and we don't put shows on TV for her, so I'm ok with her watching the one video. YMMV.

Ditto joy and jaycee about being tired ... if it's the end of the day and DD has just *had it* then there's absolutely no consoling her. I either just get through the bath as quick as possible while she's yelling and struggling; or if she's not filthy I skip the bath (I wipe her hands and face with a washcloth quick) and plop her into bed for the night.

Also, do both of you have to be in there with her? We don't have that problem with bath time, but with dinnertime. Some nights MH gets home before me so he gives DD her own dinner. She'll be perfectly cheerful and willing to eat when she's with just him, but once I get home and she sees me she suddenly loses her mind ... crying to be picked up, struggling to get out of the chair, refusing to eat. So now if I get home while he's feeding her, I'll hide in another room and MH won't call attention to me until she's finished.

[vtdiamond]

Oct 12, 2018 9:24:01 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Off topic, but icedcoffee you brush your DS' teeth twice a day? Eeek, we still only do once 

Your daycare might brush teeth, ours does after they turn 1.  I think it might be a MA law.  So we just brush teeth at night on weekdays.

[icedcoffee]

Oct 12, 2018 13:31:36 GMT -5 vtdiamond said:

Oct 12, 2018 9:24:01 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Off topic, but icedcoffee you brush your DS' teeth twice a day? Eeek, we still only do once 

Your daycare might brush teeth, ours does after they turn 1.  I think it might be a MA law.  So we just brush teeth at night on weekdays.

If this is true I'm moving back to MA.  LOL

[ellipsis]

We did the color drops in the water and the bath crayons. FYI the bath crayons are difficult to get out of grout if you don't rinse it off right away.

[scm1011]

Oct 12, 2018 13:31:36 GMT -5 vtdiamond said:

Oct 12, 2018 9:24:01 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Off topic, but icedcoffee you brush your DS' teeth twice a day? Eeek, we still only do once 

Your daycare might brush teeth, ours does after they turn 1.  I think it might be a MA law.  So we just brush teeth at night on weekdays.

Hmmm I need to ask about this. I thought that was the case but its never been mentioned. 

[pinotgrig]

Ugh, we had this phase too. Things that helped - new toys, letting him help turn the water on, get his washcloth, etc. He also likes a really cool bath and once we figured that out, that helped a ton. I still sing songs to distract when things start to go south. My boys also really like the boon pipe toys - they fill them up over and over and it buys me a lot of time to get them washed.

[redheadk]

Avoid the bath crayons!

Check the dollar spot for tubes of Crayola bath paint. That worked well at that age. I'd put a little dot of about 4 colors on the lip of the tub and she'd go to town. She also enjoyed choosing a color drop for each bath.

[mskitkat]

DO NOT GET BATH CRAYONS OMG. My bathtub is STILL multicolored, and those crayons "broke" months ago. The bath drops, OTOH, worked very well. And some days we give her a bath kicking and screaming.

[isabel]

Bath bombs and color tabs helped for us during that phase and made him excited to get in the tub.

Barring that, I basically just held onto him with one arm and furiously scrubbed him down. That phase sucks so much.

[lolo]

Offer sponge baths.

Let her participate in filling up the tub, checking if the water is the right temperature.

Slow down.

Make baths less frequent or try a different time of day.