Week of Oct 15

[Mushe]

How is everyone this week?

Being back to work is kicking my butt. 😫 We’re making one last go at getting B to switch to nursing, and I have a private lactation consultant coming to the house next Sunday. I tried to get her to nurse this weekend, and she gets so frustrated waiting for letdown. Ugh! It’s honeslty so hard to take care of her and pump and take care of DS that it leaves me super frustrated when I’m on my own.

[KellyEasterbrook]

Mushe, Good luck on Sunday! That sounds like a big emotional drain. I hope the consultant has some good advice/guidance.

I have my first ultrasound on Thursday. I got a call from my OB's office today to schedule my first appointments. I'm a little confused. They want me to do the ultrasound this week (7 weeks), then have an appt with just the nurse at 9 weeks, and then an appt with the doctor at 11 weeks. Does that sound normal?

With my last pregnancy, I had an ultrasound immediately followed by an appt with the doctor at 7 weeks. I had another appointment with the doctor at 11 weeks. I don't know if that was normal, though. With my last pregnancy, we were living in a remote area of Alaska, so we had to travel several hundred miles for the appointments. Maybe they condensed things so we wouldn't have to make that trip as often?

Ugh, I just don't know...I'm not overly thrilled with the nursing and office staff at this new practice, but I really like the doctor and I don't think I have the energy to find a new practice. I just really thought that considering my history of infertility and PGAL, I would see the doctor sooner.

[dellabear]

I haven’t been around much but I am back in TTTC mindset this week after I got the annual letter from the fertility clinic asking if I want to pay for another year of storage or not. We have one high quality 5 day embryo and have paid the last two years mainly to avoid making the decision.

This year we finally decided to donate it to research. I really have no desire to be pregnant again and I’ll be 40 in December. I’m feeling a bit sad about it but mainly about this stage being over. At the same time I look forward to seeing the kids grow. If we hadn’t had to try so hard to get and stay pregnant I’d probably be up for another. It’s just tough, sigh.

Good luck with the nursing Mushe, I found a LC to be very helpful and I hope you do too.

[Mushe]

Hmmm, KellyEasterbrook, that does seems unusual. You definitely wouldn’t see the doctor at that appt with the first ultrasound?

[ivy]

Thinking about you Mushe . I hope that making a last effort and having an end date for EP is bringing you some relief. Miss B has been full of surprises - I'm sure you're ready to settle into whatever your new normal feeding situation is.

That's a big decision dellabear. I'm glad you're at peace with it, even if it's a bit sad. We have leftover embryos, and I see us paying the storage fee for a few years until we're ready to really face the decision. Big hugs. I hope the next stage watching your kids grow will be just as fulfilling as the baby stage. 

[scm1011]

Mushe, going back to work is such an adjustment, and given B's unconventional arrival I imagine it's doubly so for you. Hang in there, mama! As for the nursing struggles, have you tried pumping for a minute or two (until let down) and then latching B? We had many early BFing struggles, including that same frustration, and that helped some. I hope the LC can give you some guidance that helps, and if not, know you've put in an enormous effort, given B so much by EPing all this time, and its okay to switch to formula if that's what works best for your family.

KellyEasterbrook, that does seem a bit odd. I wonder what the point of that 9 weeks appt is, will it be your first after graduating from the RE?

dellabear,, thats a tough decision. If all goes well with this pregnancy we'll be there next year. We're both pretty certain 2 kids is our limit, but closing the door is hard.

[scm1011]

My 2nd US is this afternoon (I'm 7w2d). I'm really nervous and hope everything goes well. If it does we'll be graduating from the RE.

[luv2rn4fun]

((Hugs)) Mushe. I hope it goes well on a Sunday. You sure have tried everything to get B to BF and I am sure it’s very emotional given how much you desire to BF B as you did your DS. I am sorry it hasn’t been easy for you guys and hoping this LC can help. In the end, fed is best. Oh, and I had similar issues with both boys with the frustration. For the first couple months BF wasn’t “relaxing” at all...it was a very frustrating process that eventually got better with time.

scm1011- good luck today! Hope your u/s goes well!

[loira]

Mushe, good luck on Sunday! I found it helped me to have a deadline when trying to nurse A. It took some of the pressure off the he decision in a way. In my case, BF didn't work out, but I hope it does for you, if that's what you want.

dellabear, I thought you might find it interesting that we finally submitted my H's immigration paperwork! Hopefully he gets his work permit soon, but with Christmas I think it will take a bit longer than the 4 months CIC claims it will take.

[thoseareradishes]

Hugs Mushe. I decided to stop pumping shortly after E got home. I was worried about taking care of her and pumping once H went back to work. I never tried to nurse again once we got home; in hindsight, I wish I had, just to see if she could do it once she got stronger, but at the time there was no way I was going to nurse, bottle feed, tube feed (she came home with an ng tube), AND pump. I hope the LC has some ideas, and I agree with pumping a little first to get a letdown going for her (maybe use a hand pump to make it a little easier than hooking up to the electric pump?).

Good luck scm1011!

Poor E is still sick. I'm taking her in today to get her ears checked, just in case. She was up twice last night which she hasn't done in months, and she's already up for nap, 15 minutes earlier than normal. We missed gym again and I canceled speech too. My mom suggested allergies, but I don't know how to tell the difference between that and a cold.

[pooh8402]

Mushe, I wonder... have you tried a SNS? E was impatient for letdown as well (early on until my boobs finally kicked in), so I used a SNS to get him latched and keep him there, and once I let down, I stopped the flow from the SNS. I tried to have an ounce or two of EBM or formula ready to go for when he was ready to nurse.

[pooh8402]

dellabear, that's hard. We'll likely be in the same boat next year. This baby will likely be our last, and we have 4 good quality embryos frozen. We won't donate for our own reasons, but we don't know what we'll do with them.

[Mushe]

Thanks for all the kind words and good thoughts! I have tried the pump & nurse, but could do it more. I can’t get letdown with a manual, and it seems so hard to do the electric. I actually have an SNS in my Amazon cart. We used one with DS when I had the opposite problem, where he latched fine but my supply was low. I do think having an end date is best for my sanity. Either I keep trying to nurse, or just move forward and EP.

[shauni27]

Mushe, so, so many hugs. Feeding your child is more of an emotional roller coaster than I could have ever imagined. It is SO MUCH WORK when there are issues at hand. And so many feelings that go along with that. Please know that if you move away from breastfeeding that you did an incredible job (especially with so many odds stacked against you!!) and reach out to me if you ever feel down about it. While at first I was heartbroken about stopping, it ended up being the best for our family--I instantly stressed less and was able to enjoy things so much more.
KellyEasterbrook, it sounds like the first appointment IS with a doctor, no? Then a second appointment later with just the nurse and then again with the doctor for the third appointment. I would think this is all ok? 3 appointments between 7-11 weeks seems wonderful to me--once we got moved to our midwives/OBGYN from the RE we were only seen once a month--the initial appointment at 10/11 weeks and then a month later, etc, until the final month. I would be pleased to have all of those appointments to help with my anxieties. HOWEVER, make sure you tell the staff there about your history and anxieties regarding this pregnancy. I would be very clear to ask them what they can do to help you. My clinic was wonderful and let me come in for 10 minute appointments weekly with a nurse to do a heartbeat check for the entire first 20 weeks.
dellabear, even for us, when we knew from the get go that we only wanted one, it was still sad to donate that last embryo. I had dreams nightly of having another baby and being pregnant again after we signed the paperwork to donate it. I can only imagine how much tougher it is to not be as clear as we were in knowing that we only wanted the one. Hugs.
scm1011, good luck today! Thinking good thoughts for you
thoseareradishes, sorry poor E is still sick. And sorry you have to deal with it!

[pinkpeony08]

I'm moving over here, very cautiously. I went in yesterday to my OB and saw a heartbeat. I am 7 weeks tomorrow, but I have a history of RPL - 11w, 14.5w, 12w, all with seeing the heartbeat numerous times before the loss, the last two genetically normal. I was grateful to get good news at the appointment, but we've been in this boat before. I alternate between thinking that we don't know the outcome and that my body carried two babies to term before all of this... and thinking I'm just waiting to go in and hear there is no heartbeat.

We met with MFM and talked through progesterone suppositories, baby aspirin and lovenox. I'm currently on progesterone and baby aspirin. My OB essentially left it up to me re: the lovenox. I really don't know if I should do it or not. On on hand, I don't want to regret not doing it. At the same point, unsure that insurance will cover it, unsure that it will really make a difference (and my OB tells me the mechanism is really the same as the baby aspirin), and there are certainly some risks to being in it. Because there is little evidence for any of the interventions, they were really all left up to me to decide what I want to do.

Anyone have thoughts from prior experiences? Add lovenox? Or just do the progesterone and baby aspirin?

[luv2rn4fun]

Oct 16, 2018 11:01:58 GMT -5 pinkpeony08 said:

I'm moving over here, very cautiously. I went in yesterday to my OB and saw a heartbeat. I am 7 weeks tomorrow, but I have a history of RPL - 11w, 14.5w, 12w, all with seeing the heartbeat numerous times before the loss, the last two genetically normal. I was grateful to get good news at the appointment, but we've been in this boat before. I alternate between thinking that we don't know the outcome and that my body carried two babies to term before all of this... and thinking I'm just waiting to go in and hear there is no heartbeat.

We met with MFM and talked through progesterone suppositories, baby aspirin and lovenox. I'm currently on progesterone and baby aspirin. My OB essentially left it up to me re: the lovenox. I really don't know if I should do it or not. On on hand, I don't want to regret not doing it. At the same point, unsure that insurance will cover it, unsure that it will really make a difference (and my OB tells me the mechanism is really the same as the baby aspirin), and there are certainly some risks to being in it. Because there is little evidence for any of the interventions, they were really all left up to me to decide what I want to do.

Anyone have thoughts from prior experiences? Add lovenox? Or just do the progesterone and baby aspirin?

We had two losses before DS1 (saw the heartbeat with both too). I did progesterone and baby aspirin for DS1 and DS2. It’s the only difference and we got two healthy babies from that protocol. I personally think it was the baby aspirin that helped the most.

Huge hugs to you! It’s so scary to be pregnant after loss(es). Prayers this is your rainbow baby!

[KellyEasterbrook]

Oct 16, 2018 10:56:41 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

Mushe, so, so many hugs. Feeding your child is more of an emotional roller coaster than I could have ever imagined. It is SO MUCH WORK when there are issues at hand. And so many feelings that go along with that. Please know that if you move away from breastfeeding that you did an incredible job (especially with so many odds stacked against you!!) and reach out to me if you ever feel down about it. While at first I was heartbroken about stopping, it ended up being the best for our family--I instantly stressed less and was able to enjoy things so much more.
KellyEasterbrook, it sounds like the first appointment IS with a doctor, no? Then a second appointment later with just the nurse and then again with the doctor for the third appointment. I would think this is all ok? 3 appointments between 7-11 weeks seems wonderful to me--once we got moved to our midwives/OBGYN from the RE we were only seen once a month--the initial appointment at 10/11 weeks and then a month later, etc, until the final month. I would be pleased to have all of those appointments to help with my anxieties. HOWEVER, make sure you tell the staff there about your history and anxieties regarding this pregnancy. I would be very clear to ask them what they can do to help you. My clinic was wonderful and let me come in for 10 minute appointments weekly with a nurse to do a heartbeat check for the entire first 20 weeks.
dellabear, even for us, when we knew from the get go that we only wanted one, it was still sad to donate that last embryo. I had dreams nightly of having another baby and being pregnant again after we signed the paperwork to donate it. I can only imagine how much tougher it is to not be as clear as we were in knowing that we only wanted the one. Hugs.
scm1011, good luck today! Thinking good thoughts for you
thoseareradishes, sorry poor E is still sick. And sorry you have to deal with it!

The first appt is at a radiology center, just an ultrasound with the tech. I’m not scheduled to see my doctor until week 11. I think I’m stressing out about that because I had my anatomy scan done at this same location this spring. It went terribly, and we were left in the room for fifteen minutes while they unsuccessfully tried to get a hold of a doctor. It was such a nightmare. I just miss my old OBGYN practice, where ultrasounds were done on location with an immediate doctor appt following.

[KellyEasterbrook]

pinkpeony08 Gentle congratulations. I’m in a similar boat — about 6 or seven weeks along after a loss. I don’t have any experience with aspirin or lovenox but wanted to send lots of good thoughts your way.

[shauni27]

pinkpeony08, welcome. This is the best place to be while PGAL. I also had a late loss after seeing and hearing the heartbeat a few times. The fear you have is SO real, but the women of this board, many of whom experienced something similar, gave me the strength and support I needed. Huge hugs.

KellyEasterbrook, I am sorry and wish there was a better answer. It sucks when things are so out of your control.

[thoseareradishes]

KellyEasterbrook, do you have to use that OB? I'm sorry they are being weird.

Welcome pinkpeony08!

So E has an ear infection - her first! - but hopefully she will be feeling better once the antibiotics kick in. Looking forward to getting back to our usual schedule.

[shauni27]

thoseareradishes, so glad you have an answer and can treat the infection!

Not much going on here so much with S. He has 6 teeth coming in (4 molars), is still biting a little at school, but at home only hits us if he gets frustrated. He is trying so hard to be vocal and it is really fun to watch him learn. He loves shoes and socks and goes and picks up random shoes or boots and tries to put them on. He loves reading and brings his books to me when I am in the kitchen or doing chores and says "more" so I will read to him right then and there. He scoots himself into my lap and loves to turn the pages. He gets so excited. I love being his mom so much (despite the exhaustion, lol).

I am having a tough time with some of my medications changing. My depression and anxiety are out of control and I spend a good portion of each day in tears. I cannot wait to meet with my PCP again next week to talk about it.

[Mushe]

shauni27, so many hugs, my friend. I’m sorry you’re struggling. ❤️

[konapoppy]

Hugs shauni27.

Mushe, I EPed and didn’t look back. It was sad, but it was the right call for me. You will fee what is best.

[oneslybookworm]

Huge huge hugs, shauni27. I'm sorry you're struggling lady.

Hang in there, Mushe. I'm sending you all my good thoughts for the LC, but even if BFing doesn't work out, you did an amazing job. You should be so proud of yourself.


I just spent the last hour hosting/moderating/being a panelist for an adoption seminar at work. I put together the material, gathered the panelists, and put it all together and the turn-out was amazing. There's so much interest that we'll likely do another next month, which I'm super excited about. Basically...I'm riding a HUGE high right now!

G is doing really well. He's walking everywhere, talking more, and just generally growing before my eyes. I'm really excited for Halloween and seeing him in his costume, I can't wait to take photos. We also have family photos on Saturday for our CHristmas card, so I'm really hoping those turn out well. It's supposed to be cold outside, but otherwise the weather should be beautiful.

[shauni27]

oneslybookworm, that is friggin AWESOME! I am so proud of you for doing that, and I am so pleased to hear it had such a good turn out. Out of curiosity, only because I have never worked at a large company before, do you mind sharing the turn out? I am a statistics nerd. Feel free to PM me if you want Additionally, the only reason I am excited about Halloween this year is to see G in the awesome costume you made him. My parents never allowed us to have generic, store bought costumes when we were kids and I see so many kids in them now it makes me sad. I LOVE seeing your creativity put to work!

[oneslybookworm]

Oct 18, 2018 14:11:18 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

oneslybookworm, that is friggin AWESOME! I am so proud of you for doing that, and I am so pleased to hear it had such a good turn out. Out of curiosity, only because I have never worked at a large company before, do you mind sharing the turn out? I am a statistics nerd. Feel free to PM me if you want Additionally, the only reason I am excited about Halloween this year is to see G in the awesome costume you made him. My parents never allowed us to have generic, store bought costumes when we were kids and I see so many kids in them now it makes me sad. I LOVE seeing your creativity put to work!

Oh, I mean...the turnout wasn’t anything stat worthy. Our company employs around 55k worldwide, 8k in our town. I had around 50 people total in the session. That said, the invite only went out to maybe 300 people, so...a good percentage!!

[cactuscookie]

Oct 18, 2018 14:11:18 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

My parents never allowed us to have generic, store bought costumes when we were kids and I see so many kids in them now it makes me sad. I LOVE seeing your creativity put to work!

My mom made all of our costumes when we were kids. But, I don't sew and have no desire to, so...etsy!

[KellyEasterbrook]

Oct 16, 2018 18:55:45 GMT -5 thoseareradishes said:

KellyEasterbrook, do you have to use that OB? I'm sorry they are being weird.

Welcome pinkpeony08!

So E has an ear infection - her first! - but hopefully she will be feeling better once the antibiotics kick in. Looking forward to getting back to our usual schedule.

Unfortunately, I really like the OB! He was really great during the nightmare of the diagnosis and loss with the last pregnancy. Gave me his cell phone number to call anytime with questions or concerns. I’m really kicking myself for throwing that (along with a lot of other paperwork from the loss) away last month.Whoops.

Good luck the ear infection! I hope those antibiotics kick in quickly.

[shauni27]

Oct 18, 2018 14:57:36 GMT -5 oneslybookworm said:

Oct 18, 2018 14:11:18 GMT -5 shauni27 said:

oneslybookworm, that is friggin AWESOME! I am so proud of you for doing that, and I am so pleased to hear it had such a good turn out. Out of curiosity, only because I have never worked at a large company before, do you mind sharing the turn out? I am a statistics nerd. Feel free to PM me if you want Additionally, the only reason I am excited about Halloween this year is to see G in the awesome costume you made him. My parents never allowed us to have generic, store bought costumes when we were kids and I see so many kids in them now it makes me sad. I LOVE seeing your creativity put to work!

Oh, I mean...the turnout wasn’t anything stat worthy. Our company employs around 55k worldwide, 8k in our town. I had around 50 people total in the session. That said, the invite only went out to maybe 300 people, so...a good percentage!!

Dude. 50 is damned impressive!!!! Great job!

cactuscookie that counts still—Etsy is not mass produced! Lol.

[dellabear]

pinkpeony08, congratulations and best wishes to you.

loira, hope everything goes smoothly and quickly with the application!