Doggy Derkins is gone.

[Susie]

This morning our family lost a big piece right out of the middle.  We took Doggy Derkins to the vet to be peacefully euthanized.  He was 82 dog years old.

During his time with us, he traveled, swam, played fetch, and loved on extended family (both human and canine).  Shortly after he turned 2, he and I became a certified therapy dog/handler team.  He did a brief stint as a volunteer at the VA hospital before we steered him toward a target audience that was steadier on their feet.  He found his volunteer calling working with kids on the autism spectrum.  He eventually retired from volunteering when "his kid" graduated out of the middle school where we volunteered, but we kept up his credentials until my mom passed away, so that he could visit her in the hospital during extended stays.

He was diagnosed with lymphoma just before 4th of July this year.  We opted not to do traditional chemo, in part because I was worried about tolerability and his experience of having infusions done, plus chemotoxicity to family members was too great a risk in a household with a toddler, another dog, and us TTC.  We treated with prednisone, all the eggs and chicken he wanted, and managed symptoms.  We hoped he'd get to Labor Day.  He thrived.



Labor Day came and went, and he was still swimming.  We were thrilled.  



Then Columbus Day came and went.  We took him to the beach again, and he got to swim again.  We could tell he didn't have the energy he'd had just a month before, and he coughed as he breathed heavier, but we still had to put a leash on him to get him out of the water, because he wasn't going to come on his own.

We came home from the beach on Monday, and by Friday we were at the vet's.  He was panting constantly, and had blood pressure of 230/109 (dog normal is similar to human normal).  Chest x-rays showed a lymph node pressing on his larynx.  Blood pressure meds brought the pressure and panting under control, but his breathing became labored due to obstruction within days.  By Friday night he was in a spiral of breathing heavier, panicking because he couldn't get his breath, and panicking more.  In the morning we took him for a last ditch treatment with l-asparaginase, but it didn't work.  Yesterday he stopped eating, and overnight none of us slept as he slid into respiratory distress.  By morning he couldn't walk.  Ultimately he had more good time than we expected, but the decline was precipitous and much faster than I was prepared for.  Physiologically I don't feel like I understand what happened in the last couple days, but it doesn't really matter.  Our vet said it tends to go that way with respiratory distress, the body overcompensates, overcompensates, overcompensates... and can do no more.

I took Hobbes to preschool while Calvin took him to the vet.  I met them back there to say goodbye.  The vet at our practice who treated him all summer, and comped us more visits than I kept track of, bumped his surgery schedule to personally euthanize him.  (He comped that too.)  It was peaceful.  

We had Hobbes say goodbye to him before preschool, and we reiterated to her that he wasn't feeling well and was having trouble breathing.  She understood that.  We will have to tell her when she gets home that he has died.  She understands that my mom (her Grancy) died, and that my dad's dog Chip died in June, so this won't be completely foreign.  

How to handle the concrete aspects with a preschooler is difficult.  In late October in the Northeast, we can't plant a tree for him now.  I think we still will in the spring, but by then it will be more for us and less for her.  She will have moved on.  We opted not to have his cremains returned individually, because we couldn't see quite what we'd do with them for Hobbes, for whom the physical things are more important - let them sit on the shelf until spring when we would bury them under the tree?  Instead they will do a paw impression in clay for us that we'll hang in the hall outside her room.  We also plan to make a donation to the local humane society, where our vet used to be on the board, in honor of Guinness and his vet.

When Guinness came home, we had been married for 3 days.  My mom was alive and healthy, I was just finishing school, and kids were way off in our future.  Now my mom is gone, we live in a different place, we have careers, another dog, a preschooler, and another baby on the way.  Our lives look totally different.  He saw us through a distinct phase of our lives, and infused a lot of happiness everywhere he went.

Love to my first baby <3

[countthestars]

((hugs)) so sorry for your loss.

[mysticmuffin]

((hugs)) I'm so sorry for your loss Susie.

[starburst]

I'm so sorry for your loss. He was beautiful and well-loved.

[lessel]

I'm so sorry. Hugs to everyone. I totally teared up reading this. Really beautiful tribute to a great family member.

Our battle with lymphoma went very similarly--our girl was fine until she was very quickly and clearly not fine.

My heart goes out to you all.

[mbcdefg]

I'm sorry. I know how much you loved him.

[icedcoffee]

And....I'm crying.

I'm so sorry for your loss. He sounds like a special guy. I love the picture of him catching water in his mouth. LOL

[Mrs.flang]

Susie , I'm so sorry. Your memories of him sound beautiful and made me tear up a little bit!

We lost our first pup 2.5 years ago and it was so much harder than I had imagined it would be. Wishing you peace and strength.

[kdubs923]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[raangoli]

I’m so sorry for your loss. Many hugs and love to you.

[laterz]

I’m so sorry. He was clearly loved.

[jene]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know he was a huge part of your lives.

[scm1011]

Big hugs, I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you had more special time this summer/fall than you anticipated. Your buddy was clearly very loved.

[simpsongal]

I gasped when I saw your post. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss.

[glitzy07]

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful tribute.

[pooh8402]

Big hugs to you Susie. I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice, just hugs. I think your plan of having an impression of his paw is lovely.

[patches31709]

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. I'm so sorry his time here came to an end so quickly. He sounds like he was an amazing dog. Wishing you all peace.

[gogadgetgo]

I’m so sorry. sending you guys so much love

[MrsE]

Big hugs

[lilac05]

I am so sorry for your loss. Your posts have always been so filled with love for your precious pup.

[momin2013]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your story is a beautiful tribute to him, and it sounds like he had a long, wonderful life!

[boiler717]

I’m so sorry for your loss. He lived a wonderful life with you.

[nessness]

I'm sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful dog.

[sometimesrunner]

I'm so sorry. ((hugs))

[halfpint]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and crying for you.
You gave that baby an amazing life and family to watch over.
Huge hugs as your mourn the loss of a beloved family member.

[mx27]

Beautifully written. Such a gorgeous dog! RIP, Guinness. Peace to your family.

[shjordon]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[ssmjlm]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[timorousbeastie]

I'm so sorry.

[farmvillelover]

Omg, I'm so sorry. It's so weird how over so many years you see MM'ers pets grow up. I swear I remember him as a puppy.