DH was in Oklahoma City last week for a conference and fell off a scooter. I think he might have broken his hand, and I am trying to get him to get x rayed. It is swollen, painful. He can close it, but can't put his weight on it for long without pain, and can't pick up heavy objects. What says WP? Broken? or Sprained?
Nothing much new here. Very slowly recovering from my laryngitis, and I had burnt myself on the steam from the steam kettle, so that is getting better. Getting physical therapy on my neck and going to see the doctor for TMJ.
Soccer is almost over last game is Saturday and then a break until Jan for basketball. DS and DD seem to be doing good. Enforcing DS's bedtime better is helping.
I am currently going through Laura Vanderkam's website and have her new book Off the Clock to read.
DDOT: We got the theme for DH's holiday party this year. They're following the standard methodology - one year of a theme that no one understands or likes, one year of a very traditional, easy to dress for party.
This year's theme is "Black Tie, Red Wine." I'm on board and the internet shopping has begun.
I had been thinking about going part time forever mainly for housework and a bit for the kids, but the kid part has settled down a little bit lately. It is interesting for her to say that sacrificing paid work for unpaid work is not a great idea. In addition to losing benefits in my situation.
I mentioned taping a video of a friend speaking about the effects if meth. I am showing this to 8th and 9th grades today. This does not make for a good day. I don't know how she made it through, cause I can't get through the intro. 3 more times today. Thankfully off tomorrow.
I just got an email from DD's social studies teacher. Apparently, she didn't turn in a project, so her grade dropped to a D. The teacher said he gave her 3 hours of class time to do it and she had nothing. I am so disappointed in her that I just want to cry. Her evaluation for ADD can't come fast enough...
I think I've finished notifying everyone of FIL death. I swear I needed to take time off this week to deal. My phone has been blowing up with everyone asking me how DH is doing as they don't want to upset him or he isn't returning text/phone calls. DH's parents divorce wasn't final so MIL is in charge of stuff. BIL called and told her of her husband's death and that she needed to get things forwarded and deal with paperwork since she is still his wife. MIL tried to tell BIL he could do it and BIL told her no and hung up. Yes all of DH's family is just dysfunctional. The only reason I was telling people was because there is no service or obituary and I didn't want something said later on that would upset DH.
DD gym coach A came up to me last night asking how DD was getting along at school and since she works for a different district suggested I enroll her in the TAG program so she can be challenged instead of bored. DD has made a few comments on how horrible school is during class. She also complimented DD on how hard she had been working. Totally blew me away and a total 180 from last week.
Kids continue to settle in at their school. DD1 has been asked for several play dates so far, which honestly almost never happened at her old school. She's struggling a bit from an academic perspective. I don't believe that the work is too hard, but the volume is certainly more, and she doesn't like that at all. It is 100% manageable, but she dig in her heels a lot about actually getting it done. This week was tough because she has been procrastinating and not working on a project that's due on Monday. So we've been pushing her harder this week to get it done and she's resentful. Oh well. Life lesson.
I got my money back from the basketball league. I told the president of the league why I wasn't coaching (stressing that this would have been my 8th season coaching across town sports), and why I pulled DD out. I was vague in my email, but very specific face to face - that the teams were stacked in appropriately, and I would not subject myself or my DD to a season like that. He was pretty shocked, said he understood, and immediately refunded my $$.
I received two personalized responses from resumes I sent out several weeks ago. Both responses indicated that they were still reviewing, and would be back to me. One was for an actual position, and one was to consult on an as-needed basis with a marketing agency. Both are part time, work from home positions, and both are promising... fingers crossed...
waverly I broke my hand last spring by ramming it into the side of a treadmill. I waited too long to get it looked at by a specialist and then there was nothing they could do by that point without surgery. If I had seen them earlier they could have splinted it or something and improved it. It ended up healing OK and it's my non-dominant hand so it's not a big deal, but I'd recommend that he get his x-rayed.
ETA - I'm the one who loves Laura Vanderkam. I just finished her new book "Off the Clock" on my long flight yesterday. I highly recommend all her stuff.
sdlaura , I tried to put the pressure on his yesterday, and said "my Physical therapist said... " He still said no and said it is feeling better. My mom is visiting tonight, so I will have her look at it and see if she can pressure him. It's his dominant hand too.
I have Off the Clock right now on my desk. I am trying to finish up the latest Robert Galbraith aka JK Rowling's mystery series before I start another book, but maybe I'll just bring it home for the weekend.
Basically instead of women choosing lower paying careers with more flexibility to care for their children (due to the lower pay they have to leave the workforce due to price of childcare thus negating the career choice) they should instead chose higher paying jobs because they can maintain that job better. I just happened to hit manager level when I was having kids, otherwise my previous job I would have been too low of pay to work while having kids. Also with taxes having to make 50,000 to cover 30,000 in childcare makes sense why we always felt poor for a long time. These aren't our actual numbers- those are her examples.
Basically instead of women choosing lower paying careers with more flexibility to care for their children (due to the lower pay they have to leave the workforce due to price of childcare thus negating the career choice) they should instead chose higher paying jobs because they can maintain that job better. I just happened to hit manager level when I was having kids, otherwise my previous job I would have been too low of pay to work while having kids. Also with taxes having to make 50,000 to cover 30,000 in childcare makes sense why we always felt poor for a long time. These aren't our actual numbers- those are her examples.
I totally agree with this. When young female law students ask me for career advice now, I tell them that unless they know they are passionate about certain causes and are willing to live very frugally for the next 10 - 20 years, if they want to have children and maintain a career, then they should go into BigLaw and grind it out for 5 - 7 years; then at that point they can switch to in-house, but would go in at a much higher salary, do another year or two to establish a footing, have kids, and continue to enjoy having a career + a home life. I saw a lot of my fellow law graduates took career paths that leads to less money right out of law school, and the only ones that have staid in the work force are those whose husbands make a lot of money; otherwise it's just not worth it once you have 2+ kids and have to factor in childcare.
Of my two lawyer friends I think one went to Big Law and is still in the grind aiming for partner, but they make enough money to have a nanny that works 8-6, and her H can get home by 6. She worked there for 8 years before having kids to earn cred.
The other one has still delayed having kids, and unexpectedly took a job in the Bahamas. Sounds interesting especially in the winter, but they say it is very expensive to live there. I think she did it because she was unhappy with her job/ life previously, and he can work from anywhere. But she was trying to factor in kids and couldn't figure out how she could do it. I think she is couple of years younger than me, so she has a little bit of time. Maybe she did the in house switch?
waverly and traveltheworld, something else she said in the book my an impression on me - that in teaching/nursing/whatever traditionally female, supposedly flexible and family-friendly job, you can barely get to the bathroom on your own, let alone leave for an hour to go to your kid's Halloween parade, or whatever. In "bigger" jobs, you typically have much more control over your schedule (says the woman who just left work for an hour to go to DD's gymnastics camp end-of-week show, and is also leaving early to workout, and will do some work on Sunday to catch up).
sdlaura , that is kind of my struggle right now. I am bored at work, but I am higher level and salary, so I can leave early and do a lot of what I want schedule wise. Which takes me back to the flexibility versus super interesting work/ flow debate. She argues I could look for more interesting work and try to get flexibility back in the negotiation or after a little while. The jobs I am looking at are more University level with some teaching, so teaching would be less flexible because class times are non negotiable. I mean I can set class times for some in library stuff, but campus wide stuff would be set by others. Right now I have control over my schedule almost completely as long as there is coverage.
ETA- the other thing some of those jobs have stranger hours might be good in the daycare years to save money and have day home with kiddos. Tons of evening and weekend jobs in my industry. But since you can't pull a kid out of school, they are not so great in the school age years.
Post by traveltheworld on Oct 26, 2018 16:26:46 GMT -5
sdlaura, that's so true. By the end of my BigLaw career, no one cared if I was at the office or not and I made it to all my kids' stuff. I've been at my current job now for about 18 months and am slowly getting back to that. I really like it. The trade-off though is that I'm never "off".
Post by librarychica on Oct 26, 2018 19:17:05 GMT -5
I also enjoy Laura Vanderkam and 100% agree with most her advice. Though I went part time anyway. Part of that was because my high paying salary job was not flexible at all. Some days I regret it and think I should have just hired a really good nanny but mostly it’s been worth it because I wanted the extra time. It’s a 2 year agreement though, not a permanent plan.
That said, it blows my mind when women take upon the childcare bill as though it is only theirs. I get that some families want a part-time or SAH parent for any number of reasons but when a friend says “she had to stay home” because she didn’t make enough for childcare and is obviously upset about it, it bothers me. 50% of that bill is your husband’s!
I also have been trying to take some advice she wrote about travel. I have a hard time justifying trips with H because they have to be short so while I do take most/all of my vacation time I don’t travel much with it. I feel it isn’t “worth it” for shorter trips. She basically argues to just do it if you can afford it. So I’m trying to convince myself.
Post by librarychica on Oct 26, 2018 19:20:09 GMT -5
And I got on the Vanderkam train and forgot my TWERK. After speaking to my realtor friend, I think the plan is to rent it for a year or two while we update it some and then sell. She says single family homes in our market are taking a real hit for not being updated and it really isn’t.
I had a bit of an emotional breakdown at H after my rant here last week. He seemed to take me very seriously. For the first time ever, he even offered to plan an anniversary trip. So we shall see. It won’t fix everything but I’m hoping we can find some of the old spark somewhere. I want to restart our old tradition of at-Home date nights too.