WWYD about the stupidest car drama of all time?

[k3am]

This is stupid.

A couple weeks ago, a little old lady hit my car parked car. She scraped the side from one end to the other and took out the driver’s side mirror. Not a lot of damage. Enough to be obnoxious. She refused to give us license or insurance information, but was willing to pay cash to make us whole. Our friend’s whose house we were at also says that she’s recently totaled another car.

I didn’t want to drive my big honking car until it was fixed (big blind spots + illegal in CA), so we started an insurance claim to get a rental. Assuming that if she paid cash, we’d cancel the claim for the rental and the bodywork. Got an estimate for $2850 to get the work done. Body shop said it was preliminary, and since they were going through insurance, the price would go up, but that if we paid cash, they’d honor the $2850 price, even if the price for insurance went up. Their system doesn’t give them the option to provide written estimates when they go through insurance since it gets sent electronically. They tell me to bring my car in Monday.

Monday after I drop off the car, I get the written estimate from the insurance company. 4 day turn around for repairs. We forward that along and tell granny it will be $2850, and rental costs at $51/day.

Now the body shops says the price is $1k more. And that the cash price is no longer going to be honored. And it won’t be ready until Wednesday or Friday of next week.

Our $51/day estimate turns out to be wrong, since Enterprise will charge us more since the $51/day is an insurance rate, but that amount is TBD. DH decides we’ll eat the difference. Plus an extra 6 days of rental car.

DH says this little old lady is the sweetest person ever. She basically spends her life volunteering for charitable causes and while he hasn’t said it, I think he’s under the impression I should have just had them replace the mirror and buff out what they could and say to hell with the rest. Maybe I should have? He also wants to only charge her for half the rental car.

So now we’re going back and forth with how she gets us payment for stuff, have to tell her the cost is going up, and he wants me to return the rental today (we’re going out of town this weekend) and just bum rides off him next week until I get my car back.

I feel like a heartless bitch because I don’t want to deal with this three ring circus. WWYD? I mean, you can tell from the prices we’re talking about there wasn’t a huge amount of damage. No one was hurt. But UGH the frustrations here. And I have an irrational guilt complex.

[supertrooper1]

I've had to deal with 2 parking lot incidences in the last 10 years. One was with a coworker and the other was with a lady I didn't know at a store. I felt guilty AF having these people pay for what were accidents. But then I had to remember that I didn't cause the damage and it should be fixed. Both went through insurance, but my coworker kept bugging me about his insurance rates until he retired a year later.

Get over your guilt. She's the one that chose to pay cash and not use insurance. But I would also go after the repair company since they told you they would honor the cash price estimate.

[covergirl82]

Can you go back to the body shop about the cost? I would be livid if I was told the cash price was guaranteed and then it went up 30%. I understand estimates are estimates, but that's ridiculous. I would negotiate hard with them (if taking it somewhere else isn't an option).

And I think you're doing this lady a big favor by not going through insurance, so if she offered to pay, then she should pay the whole cost. You wouldn't be in this situation if she hadn't hit you, and it's a huge headache and time suck for you to deal with all this in addition to work and your normal life responsibilities.

And if she recently totaled another car, she really shouldn't be driving...and that's probably why she didn't want to go through insurance.

[xctsclrx]

I am assuming that you didn't know about the previous accident? I would feel guilty, but she is still responsible for the damages. Knowing the history I worry that she doesn't have a license anymore and she isn't suppose to be driving.

[2chatter]

Hmmm I would not feel guilty at all.

I’d tell the body shop that I am paying the original amount. If that means maybe a quarter panel with less damage is bugged instead of replaced, fine. That would cut any remaining guilt. I’d negotiate until I felt the car was pretty much whole.

IDGAF if she’s Jesus. She damaged my car. This is why insurance exists. If she doesn’t have it or has awful coverage that sucks. But it doesn’t make me sympathetic. You pay less for insurance, great month to month and hope you are saving money in case you need it to cover an accident. It’s called adulting. (Coming from a woman who last month sold her mother’s car as she was a competent but not entirely safe driver. It’s not easy, it creates more work for me and ... it’s done.)

[mustardseed2007]

I mean, I wouldn't want to pay 2850 out of pocket. And I damn shure wouldn't want to pay 3850 out of pocket. Nor would I want to be without my car during a work week at 50 dollars or 100 dollars per day.

No way would I split anything with her.

[sandandsea]

I’m team you. Your dh is too nice. The lady should cover everything. The body shop shouldn’t have changed the price either though.....what’s up with that part? I’d probably fight them because that’s shady.

[k3am]

According to the body shop, they NEVER told me that they'd honor the $2850 if we/she paid in cash. I have nothing in writing, so that part is what it is. It was the same woman who did the estimate, she apparently has NO recollection of quoting me in the first place, which I find hard to believe.

I went to this body shop because the insurance recommended it and their yelp reviews were all favorable. I don't think I'd go there again.

I am pretty confident that she is worried about losing her license. DH called her today and she didn't really complain when he told her the increased cost for the shop and the car. DH and I got in a fight over it, I basically told him this is NOT my problem. She hit me, it's her problem. She can cover it in full or we can do insurance claim. If he really wants money to go to the food pantry she supports (which is what he wanted to tell her to do with the other half of the rental car amount), we can write them a check directly.

It would be easier if she were a bitch, but he says she's the sweetest thing ever.

[waverly]

I don’t know about the change in the quote but I don’t want to deal with a third party that is why I just go through insurance and let them handle it all.

Sounds like you guys are going the nice route. Maybe it will work out for everyone. Or maybe it ends up being a huge hassle and you wished you had just gone through insurance.

[mommyatty]

Um, am I the only one thinking maybe she should lose her license? I mean, if my kids are walking in the street with me, I send them behind or between parked cars if a car is coming and we don’t have time to get on the curb. (Texas = no sidewalks in most neighborhoods.) If this chick is taking out parked cars on the reg, she’s going to kill somebody.

[k3am]

Nov 15, 2018 19:54:11 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Um, am I the only one thinking maybe she should lose her license? I mean, if my kids are walking in the street with me, I send them behind or between parked cars if a car is coming and we don’t have time to get on the curb. (Texas = no sidewalks in most neighborhoods.) If this chick is taking out parked cars on the reg, she’s going to kill somebody.

You’re not the only one thinking this. She’s just so stupidly sweet. And food pantry. And charity work.

[librarychica]

I would have called the police the minute she refused to exchange license information, personally. But you're here, so I think that holding her to her agreement is the best thing. If she truly isn't capable of safe driving then maybe the financial incentive will motivate her to find an alternative. Hey! If it feels better you're not the bitch who would call the police on a little old lady.

IDK. It is sad that she is struggling and sucks for her but if she isn't a capable driver then consequences happen. This time the consequence is paying for your damaged car. Possibly the long-term consequence is that she is forced to find alternative transport.

I would probably feel stressed and anxious -- I don't conflict well -- but not guilty. You should not feel guilty.

[k3am]

librarychica, we didn’t call the police because the police here won’t come for stuff like that. They just tell you to file a report. If I’d told them she was threatening me and I feared for my safety, they’d probably have come out. But they’d have laughed when they saw the 75 year old, 90 lb thug.

We basically have the worst staffed police department ever. You can call and say you’re watching your home being broken into on your security camera, they’ll ask if anyone is home. If the answer is no, they just tell you to file a police report.

This comes in handy for when you want to have a party in the park with open containers, but so far, that’s the only upside I’ve seen.

[phdmomma]

k3am, It was like that when I used to live in Chicago. A guy hit my car driving on the wrong side of the road (like he was going into opposing traffic). And then tried to steal the bumper that he ripped off my car in doing so. He also gave me bogus insurance info. The police wouldn't come out for that, even when he was screaming at me. They said as long as I didn't need an ambulance, that they wouldn't come out. When I was at the police station making the report, there was another guy who someone had rear ended, and they screamed at him and snapped his glasses in half (he was trying to use said broken glasses). The police wouldn't come out for his either, which made me feel slightly better about my situation. In short, our insurance ended up eating the cost for the repair and we lost our deductible.

[librarychica]

Nov 15, 2018 21:32:01 GMT -5 k3am said:

librarychica, we didn’t call the police because the police here won’t come for stuff like that. They just tell you to file a report. If I’d told them she was threatening me and I feared for my safety, they’d probably have come out. But they’d have laughed when they saw the 75 year old, 90 lb thug.

We basically have the worst staffed police department ever. You can call and say you’re watching your home being broken into on your security camera, they’ll ask if anyone is home. If the answer is no, they just tell you to file a police report.

This comes in handy for when you want to have a party in the park with open containers, but so far, that’s the only upside I’ve seen.

This is bizarre to me. So bizarre. Here you pretty much call for any accident so you have a report. I rear ended a woman going like 5 miles an hour in college and we pulled over to a drug store. She was very upset and wanted to call highway patrol and so we did, they came, cited me and we all went on our way.

Anyway, I am sorry you’re dealing with this accident. It sounds beyond frustrating.

[erinshelley21]

Your H is being way too nice. She is the one that didn't want to go through insurance, so if you don't want to go through insurance then you need to be ready to deal with things like prices and plans changing. You're doing her a favor by not going through insurance so she needs to be flexible.

There is no reason to complicate YOUR life in order to be nice to a sweet old lady that you are already going out of your way to help her fix damage she did to you. I'd tell her you need the money for the repairs by Monday or Tuesday so you can pay. For the rental car, if you want to come to a compromise with your H, have her pay the $51 insurance rate for the entire duration of the rental period and you guys pay the difference. If she can't get the money to you by early next week, file an insurance claim and let someone else deal with the circus.

[waverly]

Nov 16, 2018 8:50:34 GMT -5 librarychica said:

Nov 15, 2018 21:32:01 GMT -5 k3am said:

librarychica , we didn’t call the police because the police here won’t come for stuff like that. They just tell you to file a report. If I’d told them she was threatening me and I feared for my safety, they’d probably have come out. But they’d have laughed when they saw the 75 year old, 90 lb thug.

We basically have the worst staffed police department ever. You can call and say you’re watching your home being broken into on your security camera, they’ll ask if anyone is home. If the answer is no, they just tell you to file a police report.

This comes in handy for when you want to have a party in the park with open containers, but so far, that’s the only upside I’ve seen.

This is bizarre to me. So bizarre. Here you pretty much call for any accident so you have a report. I rear ended a woman going like 5 miles an hour in college and we pulled over to a drug store. She was very upset and wanted to call highway patrol and so we did, they came, cited me and we all went on our way.

Anyway, I am sorry you’re dealing with this accident. It sounds beyond frustrating.

This doesn't happen in big cities.  The police have other things to do from my experience in NYC, and they won't come out for more minor things.