Torn about EBF

[gummibear]

Backstory, I've mentioned numerous times that Lilly is super fussy. The doctor couldn't find anything wrong with her but she's been on zantac since 1mo old and it seemed to help a little. She is a bear during the day, but she has been STTN for a couple months already. So I assumed that since she was STTN, she was getting enough to eat during the day.

At her 4 month appt she was only 12lbs and her doctor wanted me to supplement. I tried with some similac, but she wouldn't take it. After a couple weeks I gave up. (I was also pumping and could get about 4oz out of each breast so it doesn't seem like it's a supply issue, because I have milk)

I weighed her today and she is 13.3lbs. I breastfed her at 12:30pm and she was still super fussy so I decided to try some enfamil gentle. I don't know why. My gut was telling me something was wrong with my baby. And we've only offered her similac before. I never thought that maybe she just doesn't like similac. For whatever reason, she ate almost 5oz and passed out in her PNP. (This never happens) She is now awake from her nap...and is super happy.

It might be a fluke. But I'm going to target to get some more formula and I'm going to try it for a couple days. I'm still going to pump, because I don't want to hurt my supply and I'm not ready to give up breastfeeding yet.

I'm going to feel horrible if all her issues are my fault because I was so hell bent on EBF! I'm so torn! I just want to know what is wrong with my baby. I just can't believe crying for 12 hours a day is normal I've thought about a dairy allergy, but she's never had blood in her poop and it's never been green, so the doctor doesn't seem to think that's the case either.

[erniebufflo]

Even though I'm a formula feeder (initially not by choice, but much like Dr. Strangelove, I learned to stop worrying and love the bottle), but: please don't blame yourself. These little muffins can't talk. And we can't read minds. You and your doctor have been working to get this figured out, and you have tried your very best. If the formula means happier days for you and Lilly, I say, go for it, and try not to feel too guilty or upset about it. I absolutely know how devastating it can feel for breastfeeding not to work like you planned, and who knows, maybe you will be able to troubleshoot and stop supplementing at some point, but even if you don't: you will have a healthy, loved kiddo, and that's what matters.

[Deleted]

DO NOT beat yourself up about this! We battled pretty bad colic in the evenings while I was BFing and pumping and R finally had enough herself and began refusing the breast. I still pumped for a couple weeks to dry up slowly, but she never looked back. I miss it...A LOT...especially in the evenings, but she seems to be happier and I don't stink anymore. :Y:

[bubbyboo]

The fact that you are trying to figure out what is wrong is proof you are willing to do whatever is best for your baby. If you still want her to have breast milk, you can still pump and mix it with the formula. Or nurse and then follow up with formula. Whatever you decide is best is the right decision!

[christidee]

Don't blame yourself or be hard on yourself. You are trying to figure out how to best help her. There is nothing wrong with formula. It still provides your baby with nutrients.

[greenkitty98]

Sept 19, 2012 14:44:38 GMT -5 bubbyboo said:

The fact that you are trying to figure out what is wrong is proof you are willing to do whatever is best for your baby. If you still want her to have breast milk, you can still pump and mix it with the formula. Or nurse and then follow up with formula. Whatever you decide is best is the right decision!

:Y: Agreed.