Blended family Christmas ?

[Bernadine]

We get dss at noon on Christmas. I don't need to wait for dd to open Santa presents until then, right? I figured we'd just hold off on family presents.

[Deleted]

If I remember correctly, there's a big age gap? Does DSS believe in Santa still? As long as she only opens her gifts, I don't see why she should wait. On the other hand, since she's so young, will she even care? This would be a good time to start the tradition of waiting for DSS if you want to go that route.

[wambam]

When my brother’s kids (9 and 13) are with their mom on Christmas morning, we don’t wait. Sorry kiddies!

[tacokick]

Santa gifts when she gets up assuming she also has some non-Santa gifts to open when her brother arrives.

[namasteak]

Does DSS open Santa at his moms?

I think Santa goes wherever you wake up on Christmas morning and then family gifts are opened together later in the day.

[namasteak]

Dec 13, 2018 16:21:57 GMT -5 wambam said:

When my brother’s kids (9 and 13) are with their mom on Christmas morning, we don’t wait. Sorry kiddies!

Oh please don’t do this OP. Let your daughter open Santa but don’t exclude DSS from your family celebration because he is with his mom in the morning.

[wambam]

Dec 13, 2018 17:21:19 GMT -5 namasteak said:

Dec 13, 2018 16:21:57 GMT -5 wambam said:

When my brother’s kids (9 and 13) are with their mom on Christmas morning, we don’t wait. Sorry kiddies!

Oh please don’t do this OP. Let your daughter open Santa but don’t exclude DSS from your family celebration because he is with his mom in the morning.

We don’t exclude them, we just have two present opening sessions. *shrug* they’ve never been too bothered by it

[Bernadine]

There is an 8 year difference. He does still believe, this will probably be the last year.

It would be hard to keep her out of the presents when she wakes up.

[wambam]

Dec 13, 2018 18:26:54 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Dec 13, 2018 17:21:19 GMT -5 namasteak said:

Oh please don’t do this OP. Let your daughter open Santa but don’t exclude DSS from your family celebration because he is with his mom in the morning.

I didn’t read it as a mean, intentional leaving them out! They are likely already opening presents with their mom anyway.

ETA: Maybe wambam is still even a believer. 😝 

LOL. Yeah, it’s definitelly not a mean thing. They get to open presents twice and the rest of the family doesn’t have to wait until 2pm to start.

[4speedy]

Dec 13, 2018 18:16:16 GMT -5 Bernadine said:

There is an 8 year difference. He does still believe, this will probably be the last year.

It would be hard to keep her out of the presents when she wakes up.

Since this may be the last year DSS believes and your DD is too young to know the difference, could you maybe delay the whole thing a few hours?  Since it will be hard to keep DD out of the presents, don’t put them out until just before DSS arrives.  Does DD take a morning nap?  Put them out then, or distract her some other way and put the gifts out a 11:30.  Because of the age difference, this may be the one year your DH gets share the magic of Santa with both of his kids at the same time.  I would gladly fudge the timeline to make that happen for just one year.

[kitkat1502]

Let DD choose 1 or 2 gifts to open then wait for DSS for the big gift opening session. I think it’s important to create a sense of inclusion here.

[Leeham Rimes]

I’m not in a blended family but I don’t really see anything wrong with opening Santa gifts in the morning. What kid could possibly wait until noon for that? No way. I mean, she’ll have some to open with DSS bc you’re holding back the family presents, so they’ll still be together, opening presents.

[tacokick]

I think she can open Santa presents in the morning and the just open family presents later when her brother opens the Santa presents he left at your house and any family presents. At 10(?), I think he would understand this and understand her not wanting to wait!

[vanillacourage]

I think your DD is 2?  I would distract her until your DSS arrives and have them open together. If he’s 10 this is probably the last year he’ll believe. 

[wildrice]

Dec 13, 2018 19:11:33 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Dec 13, 2018 19:00:49 GMT -5 4speedy said:

Since this may be the last year DSS believes and your DD is too young to know the difference, could you maybe delay the whole thing a few hours?  Since it will be hard to keep DD out of the presents, don’t put them out until just before DSS arrives.  Does DD take a morning nap?  Put them out then, or distract her some other way and put the gifts out a 11:30.  Because of the age difference, this may be the one year your DH gets share the magic of Santa with both of his kids at the same time.  I would gladly fudge the timeline to make that happen for just one year.

Noooo, let the girl open her Santa gifts when she wakes up. Goodness people! Don’t complicate this. @bernadine, how old is your daughter?

If she is 2 or under (I think she is young?) I doubt she will understand the difference. I wouldn't make that a new tradition, but if she doesn't understand anyway then it can't hurt to wait for the kid who does understand.

If she is old enough to understand, I would let her open immediately. Just save some parent gifts to open later with SS.

[kath16]

my gosh. don't make your girl wait. we never ever waited for SD and I assure you she isn't scarred. i'm sure your kiddo will help him open when he gets there and you can have a big lunch together or whatever. the weirdness at that age was always negated by the fact that she got double the gifts for double the families.


option 1: if he really still believes in Santa, i'm pretty sure Santa would leave presents wherever he wakes up and then anything at your house can be from you

option 2: "hey santa left you some stuff here, too! two present sessions!"

[4speedy]

Dec 13, 2018 19:11:33 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Dec 13, 2018 19:00:49 GMT -5 4speedy said:

Since this may be the last year DSS believes and your DD is too young to know the difference, could you maybe delay the whole thing a few hours?  Since it will be hard to keep DD out of the presents, don’t put them out until just before DSS arrives.  Does DD take a morning nap?  Put them out then, or distract her some other way and put the gifts out a 11:30.  Because of the age difference, this may be the one year your DH gets share the magic of Santa with both of his kids at the same time.  I would gladly fudge the timeline to make that happen for just one year.

Noooo, let the girl open her Santa gifts when she wakes up. Goodness people! Don’t complicate this. @bernadine, how old is your daughter?

Her ticker says her DD is a year old, so she has no concept of time.  This will be the last Christmas Bernadine will have any control over the timeline.  Next year, when when her DD is a bit older, Bernardine will be awakened at the asscrack of dawn.  When my kids were that young, I would have KILLED to have a Christmas morning where I could sleep in, drink my coffee leisurely and THEN open presents.  Bernadine has been given a gift of more time this year, she should take it from a more experienced mom and not let this opportunity slip by!

[kitkat1502]

Does your DH want to wait until DSS gets there?

[lilac05]

We have never had the tradition of opening gifts right away in the morning. I'm not scarred. We do the same for my kids. It actually helps draw out the anticipation and excitement of the day. They have never known any different and have never even asked to do otherwise. We wake up in the morning, have breakfast, then we look what is in the socks/stockings. After that, we get ready for church, head to church at 9:30, get home a little after 10:30, change back into comfortable clothes, and then open gifts. There's still the magical moment they round the stairs in the morning and see all of the gifts. They get to see what size packages are there, take some time to see what they can see with their name on it, try to guess what it might be, then spend the rest of the morning dreaming of what might be there. It's not torture at all...it's fun.

At her age, she doesn't know any different. The adults do. I promise if you decide to wait until SS is there, you won't ruin her Christmas. This year, I would do whatever you can to make sure the day is awesome for your SS. He will know the difference, she won't.

[ellipses84]

We wait for a few family gifts for each person, but not for Santa gifts. Sometimes we’d have Santa come for SS the next morning and we’d do fake Christmas then, but there’s wasn’t much time where SS believed and DS1 was too young to know it wasn’t real Christmas.

[Bernadine]

She's 2. I could probably get away with letting her open one thing, then waiting on the rest.

[abs]

I'd wait.

I grew up in a blended family. Going back and forth between houses is hard. I'd wait for your SS to come and open presents together. Opening them by yourself just isn't the same.

Even when your daughter is old enough to know what's going on I'd still wait. Maybe let her open something small but hold off on the main event.

[themoneytree]

We’ll let kiddo open her stocking presents and then we’ll probably wait on everything else. Maybe let her open one or two.

[circa1978]

What does your H want to do? I also had a blended family and your daughter is SO young - she doesn’t know it’s Christmas; to prioritize letting her open her own gifts when for her it could literally be any day of the year to me could come off as favoritism to your stepson, who already might be coping with feelings about a much younger step sibling. To wait won’t hurt her a bit and could bmean a lot to him.

[TBM]

You could ask your ss what he thinks you should do.

In our family Santa gifts are not wrapped, so that would be fair game for for your dd and would buy you time with the other gifts if you wait for ss.


lilac05, your traditions are my worst nightmare. Lol

The first Christmas when dh and I were dating, after my family got up early and did our thing, my mom had to go to work (nurse), so I went to H's parent's house. No one was up for hours, and when they did get up, his teen siblings turned on the TV to watch cartoons, then took coffee to their parents. After the second cup, his parents finally got up. His father came in through the living room and sat at the dining room table (open plan), and his mom came in and started asking about eggs and toast. It was at this point that I said something like 'What is wrong with you people?!? It's Christmas! You should be seeing what Santa brought and opening presents...' They looked at me as if I was from another planet, and then my mill calmly instructed the kids to pass out the presents, and everyone sat in the living room opening presents and having a good time.

I hadn't even expected any presents under the tree to be for me, I just wanted them to act like it was Christmas, and not just another Saturday morning. They actually did make their Christmas mornings more fun after that, and my mil credited me without ever mentioning that first Christmas.

[trissie18]

Dec 14, 2018 8:26:47 GMT -5 TBM said:

I can relate! My first Christmas with DH's family was so painful. Opening gifts was a slow long drawn out process that took all day - and there were only 5 adults! After that I convinced DH to spend Christmas Eve and morning with my family (where we have lots of fun/traditions) and then go to his parent's for Christmas dinner to shorten the time available to open gifts. 

[gibbinator]

When I was a kid, when my sister and I spent the night with mom then went to dad's in the afternoon, my step sisters (our ages) opened their gifts in the morning before we got there. Dad and stepmom just saved gifts for and from my me and my sister. We did not care at all that they'd started without us. I mean, we'd already opened gifts first thing with mom. An extra house of presents was just a bonus.
I'd say we were 7 & 9 ish when that all started.

[sandandsea]

We always did Santa and family Christmas together and waited until the whole
Family was there. I would have been really hurt if my little sister already did hers and then my brother and I missed seeing her excitement and being part of the “big event” just because our parents got divorced and we were stuck going back and forth on Christmas Day.


ETA. I am 9 years older than my sister so even with a big gap it matters. My parents were amazing and Santa always happened to come right before we opened presents. Even if it was two days late. It was a big deal and we were always told that that’s part of the magic on how he gets everywhere in one night. Some families do it early and some late so he knows when your family is doing it and always arrives right on time. You can set the tone now that it doesn’t have to be Christmas morning which will save you headaches every year for the rest of your lives. We have to travel to visit family every year and don’t get back home until January. Santa knows that about our family and comes in January. I’m not about to haul Santa’s gifts around the country and staying home for Christmas isn’t an option.

[brooke77]

Since your DD is young and your SS is coming fairly early, I’d wait this year. Open stockings and have a leisurely breakfast/morning. Save the presents for when the whole family is there.