While on a work trip I managed to find time to book our condo for vacation. You need to book our flights like NOW.
Since you really want your mother to come with us, you confirmed she’s coming while I was out of town. You better have passed along the message that we are leaving her at home for anything active because I am absolutely NOT cutting everything short to listen to her bitch about how the heat affects the elderly and she can’t walk as much as we do. Yes, she’s elderly. I’m not. My kids aren’t. The first time she starts fanning one of my kids because their cheeks are red, I’m driving her ass back to Savannah and putting her on a plane home. I’m not kidding. And if her fucking snoring isn’t handled, you are sleeping in the room with her while the kids bunk with me. She kept both kids awake last year, and after the third day of her claiming she doesn’t snore, I had to tell her I can literally hear her all the way across the condo out on the balcony. Yes, she snores. Like a fucking freight train.
Signed, Wife of Mama’s Boy Whose Vacation Is Going To Suck Again This Year
mommyatty , Don't cave! Does the condo have 3 bedrooms?
Speaking of vacations, if the in-laws take the kids this summer for their traditional week, she always does their laundry and uses bleach and they return home with their clothes all bleached. It is helpful that she does laundry, but we had to throw out multiple shirts and re-buy because they were kids favorites.
So do I tell her no doing their laundry? Bring our own color safe bleach type and ask her to use that (which I am not sure she will)? Only send old clothes, which is hard because I am not sure they have a weeks worth of crappy clothes...
Dear DH- this week has just been ugh with the amount of chores I have had to do while you are traveling for work.
Dear basketball- Thank you for canceling last night. I don't know what it is but basketball is my least favorite sport to watch, and everything about going makes us exhausted. We have to stay because they play games, so I can't even drop him off.
Post by covergirl82 on Jan 23, 2019 11:44:13 GMT -5
waverly, I would send old clothes (buy at a consignment shop or Goodwill), or send detergent and say to only use that (and nothing else) because of skin sensitivities.
mommyatty, I'm curious what age your MIL is. My parents are 72 and would be able to keep up with most activities and wouldn't complain, but they are both in excellent health (and no chronic illnesses), so maybe they are the minority of people their age.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jan 23, 2019 11:44:17 GMT -5
Dear DD's School,
I'm sending you this email to gently let you know she may not come back for kindergarten, and to ask about what that will mean for this summer session.
Please don't freak out, k thanks.
Signed, Mom who doesn't want to meet with you to talk about our life choices.
Dear WPs I slept last night. But it was the zonk out wake up in a pool of drool and not feel rested sleep that normally happens when I have a migraine. I almost called in sick today just to sleep but the pile of work on my desk said no way as then I would be forced to work over the weekend and I'm not ready for that yet. Me
Dear DD and M I know you are super excited about your first sleepover together on Friday. But you need to sleep Friday night. I'm hoping open gym will wear you out so you both crash before 10. Me
waverly - another vote for super cheap used clothes. Buy them now - our local place has a ton of summer stuff for $1 as they clear out to flip seasons.
186momx - I suspect that I have the reputation of the “early to bed sleepover mom” but it is fine by me. They are in bed by 9:00 or 9:30 and lights out not joking, don’t play is by 10:30 latest (pre game days is 9:00 latest even for the 11 year old). I collect all electronic devices. DS (first grade) is often lights out by 9:00. His friends talk about how fun mornings are here - and it’s nothing special - I just think they are not exhausted and fractious because they sleep, so they play and have fun!
Dear Safari Park - Please don’t suck. I’ve never been. This is DS’ first birthday trip with Mommy. It needs to be awesome, and a cabin in a safari park sounds pretty awesome to me. Also hoping it’s not super freezing and we can also hike to see the dinosaur footprints with no issues. DS is SO excited and said he can’t wait to look at stars and play games at night. Signed, I don’t want to go back to planning birthday parties.
2chatter, we won't get home from open gym until 8:45 and I'm hoping lights out by 9:30 as my latest. This is M's first sleepover so I'm hoping a quick to bed will make for a nice transition and then they can play all morning.
mommyatty, Don't take your MIL. You were all miserable last year. If YH needs her to come them she needs to rent her own place and YH can go hang with her while you and the kids and can do all the fun stuff.
xctsclrx, solidarity sister. DH keeps posting my low carb dinners saying I'm forcing his skinny butt to diet. It makes me feel horrible and I get he doesn't need to loose any weight but jeez I can't eat pasta and bread all the freaking time anymore and I don't want to cook multiple meals just so I can have veggies.
mommyatty, No!!!! Run far far away....isn't she the one that read aloud to all of you in the hotel room?
Dear Snow, It's great that you came, the kids are loving the snow day. Signed, Cold
Dear University, I understand that you don't close when the school district is out. However, why is my university daycare closed then? I still have to teach class, but the childcare that I pay a fortune for through you is closed? Really? Signed, Bring my kid to class?
mommyatty, does your DH have amnesia? You were all miserable last year. Hope you have a big enough place where you each get your own room. Are you going to HHI again? Where do you stay? We are thinking about going back but I don't know if I can make the drive again.
rere, similar boat here. DH is adamant that he wants to tile our shower but has no time to do it. Who cares if we hire someone? It's not about the money but his pride.
Dear 186momx, I'm with you on taking today to just sleep. I got maybe two hours of fitful, not good sleep last night. I'm hitting a major brick wall now at work. I just went in the bathroom and closed my eyes for like 10 minutes to try to reboot my brain. Signed, So tired
Post by ilovelucyvv on Jan 23, 2019 14:22:00 GMT -5
Dear training schedulers at work, It sucks that you are postponing our training. It sucks even more that you are postponing the training to yet another week where my H will be out of town. So as if I wasn't freaking out about getting family to watch the kids for the first scheduled week, now I have to freak out again about finding family to watch the kids for the second scheduled week.
Signed, Less flexible than you would like me to be
2chatter, same. This last birthday party I kept saying I will never do another one again. It didn't help that the person running the party was a young girl maybe 20 and kept coming up to me with non-issues and acting like they were the biggest deals in the world. Yes get them water- just do it. I don't need a 5 minute explanation and your strategy etc.
We tried last year with DS with the NFL football game. It was a bit of a fail because we walked from the train if you can imagine that, and DS was about to die on the way back (we did Uber on the way back) and it was in August for his Oct birthday. Lesson learned to do a smaller event closer to the birthday time although it was our first NFL game ever, so it was nice to say we did one. Just probably won't be doing it again.
I love you guys. I’ve decided I’m taking the kids somewhere for Spring Break and leaving DH at home with his mother. She’s 76 and has no health issues other than she’s fat. She talks all the time about how fit she is and how her doctor is always amazed at her awesome health.
This year I’m going to just be a bitch about EVERYTHING. I’m not listening to her talk about the news or her political views. I’m not taking her anywhere that involves significant walking. I’m not skipping fun things I want to do like taking the kids kayaking because she can’t go. I’m having my vacation. Her son can deal with her. She can rent her own car so she isn’t stuck at the condo. But I’m not coddling her.
And that’s not being a bitch at all - it’s living your life. Actually living it and not walking on eggshells for MIL.
Have DH download Uber to her phone so she can leave whenever needed with zero logistics like parking when you guys are doing things together.
My mom is limited on walking and we walk MILES at Seaside and also ride bikes instead of driving most places. We kayak and run and hike. So, she isn’t invited. I feel zero guilt. Ok, three percent guilt because I’m not a monster.
Post by covergirl82 on Jan 23, 2019 16:10:24 GMT -5
mommyatty, good for you!! I do think it's a little funny that your H is really wanting his mom to come on the trip, even though he spends all day with her.
I will say we have started inviting my mom on 1 trip a year, but she gets her own rental car and is mobile. She still complains because that is her personality, but she tries to limit it a little bit I guess. We make her babysit 2 nights plus watch the kids if we go get a coffee etc. I can't wait until Spring Break! She also does "her stuff" when we go to the beach.
You hate me don't you? No practice tonight, because of weather, even though I have heard of nothing coming. This was DH's night! Practice has been 85% me. His night, cancelled. Rescheduled for... Sunday 6-8... when he is working.
rere, same. Cub Scouts are Sunday afternoon, so you would think that DH could take him. Nope he has to work the last 2 Sundays that he had cub scouts, and says can you take him?
I’m so glad you had a nice 5th birthday today. I was scared to death 5 years ago after you were born with a heart defect, and I’m so glad you’re doing just fine after surgery as a baby.
Love, Mom
Dear foot,
Please cooperate during surgery tomorrow and don’t cause me too much pain as the meds wear off.
Signed, darn bunion
Dear my parents,
I’m sorry that your yoga and spin class schedules conflict with the four hours per week that I need your help getting the kids to school after my surgery. I also like my exercise and routine, but let’s have some priorities here!! I’m glad the babysitter can cover it so you can still get your workouts in before being free the entire rest of everyday.
Signed, I really shouldn’t be complaining after they watched the toddler all weekend while we went on a trip
Post by traveltheworld on Jan 23, 2019 23:29:42 GMT -5
Dear Doctors,
Can someone figure out what's wrong with my dad? He feels dizzy every time he stands up. At his age, a fall would be very dangerous. We've ruled out blood pressure problems, heart problems and multiple blood tests yield no answers. Asking him to be careful and waiting to see how it goes is not an acceptable outcome Signed, Frustrated but not sure where to go from here
Dear DS,
I love that what you want to do for summer camp is math and hockey. Although I don't think I can find a single camp that would acoomodate both.
Post by librarychica on Jan 24, 2019 8:19:37 GMT -5
traveltheworld, I chuckled at math-hockey camp. I hope they figure out what’s up with your dad. My FIL is having similar problems (he has a history of heart and BP issues) but he hasn’t actually seen his doctor yet. Sigh
traveltheworld - for my Dad it was vertigo and they prescribed an anti seizure medicine.
Dear School, Please don’t sit on my email about homebound school for DD. It was really hard to send (like admitting she isn’t improving). I’ve worried for years about the information in the literature that a lot of kids end up home bound in her situation. Now that it’s maybe happening I am just .... crushed. Having an academic solution will help and hopefully this isn’t forever. I know every parent thinks this on some level, but compared to her siblings I think it about her x1000% - there’s something really special about her and she’s destined for something. And it isn’t being home bound.
Dear WPs, I am a manager. There's a big difference here between manager and director level. Directors are senior leadership and it's a big deal. However, I am constantly introduced by other people as the director of my division. I'm not. I'm the manager of my division. I'm also sometimes looped in to senior leadership discussions but not consistently. Because I'm not officially a director. I feel like I'm in a strange limbo of being someone who gets shit done, so I get brought in for that purpose, without the prestige of the title and the salary I'm assuming would match it. I also don't know if I'm ready to take on full senior leadership responsibilities, honestly. Do I negotiate for it anyway and figure it out? Just keep limping along in this limbo for now? Any advice? Signed, Bad at career negotiations
twinmomma, You should definitely be angling for that. I would track how many times you have been introduced as a director. How many senior leadership meetings you go to and take that to your boss and start a conversation about your title change and salary change. See how receptive it is. If you are doing 50-75% of the work as a director I would go for the full 100%.
Do you know what the full senior leadership responsibilities are?
twinmomma, Same boat here. I am a supervisor, but report to a director level. I also am brought in on meetings and things because I get things done and know what is going on. I have asked for a promotion, but the wheels of government turn slow, so we shall see. I don't really know if I want to be a director because of the level of BS, but I would like a title and salary that reflects my work and there is one level between what I am now and director level position. I don't think I would ever get there anyway because the way we run, my boss would basically have to leave for me to be a director, and she's not going anywhere.
twinmomma, here generally speaking promotion is a multi year plan. I’d raise it with your manager and ask what the path is to director level promotion. It can be very political in that z division may need to put up x candidates and they have to be strategic about it. You don’t have to be ready today - but start the journey and continue doing the tasks you already are to ease in. Sounds like the perfect path forward.