Week of Jan 28

[G22]

What's going on this week? Thinking of @jalepenomel and hoping you've got strong embryos growing ❤

Last week was a rough week and I'm just trying to get myself in a good mental space this week. I'm still pissed with my REs office over the extra charges and how shitty they've been, my anxiety is coming back, and this stupid keto diet has me stressed to the max. A strict keto diet just isn't for me. Right now I'm in a bad place mentally, and stressing over trying to follow the diet to the level my RE wants is a big factor causing that. I'm still doing low carb/high fat, but the rules that my RE gave me are so strict and slightly unattainable for me right now.

I have my baseline u/s Wed and begin lupron on Thursday, so here goes nothing.

[megstoo]

I had my ER on Friday. I'm kinda disappointed and feel like I got triggered to early. 9 eggs retrieved, 3 for sure fertilized and 1 possible which we'll know about later today.

ER has been super easy though, mild cramping right after but felt less than a normal period cramp. I'm waiting on the start of my next cycle so we can do the transfer.

****************

I just got my Day 3 report - only 3 made it and they're graded as 4/9 cell, 4/8 cell and 3/8 cell.  I'm guessing those are average?  

eta: correction on grading

[megstoo]

G22, I know it's easier said than done but don't stress. Everything will work out. I did keto but I couldn't do strict keto, is there a reason they want you doing keto? I know it's supposed to help with inflammation but strict keto is tough.

[G22]

Jan 28, 2019 10:19:42 GMT -5 megstoo said:

G22, I know it's easier said than done but don't stress. Everything will work out. I did keto but I couldn't do strict keto, is there a reason they want you doing keto? I know it's supposed to help with inflammation but strict keto is tough.

I'm glad you aren't feeling too bad post ER. Its ok/normal to be disappointed in the number you got. I felt the same way after my first ER. But I hope the ones you've got fertilized are strong and keep growing, including that 4th one!

They want me following keto because my labs showed I'm insulin resistant. My doctor pushes this diet really hard and basically told me I should be on it for the rest of my life so I dont become diabetic. I admit that shocked me and is definitely playing into how I feel right now.

This is silly, but I'm a very much rule follower (i cant help it, its some weird thing and I've always been this way) and that fact that I'm struggling to follow to the standards my RE set are leading to the stress.

I just feel like everything is being taken away (cant run, can't eat, ect) and the feeling of not being in control is leading to my anxiety flaring up. I'm a hot mess and I haven't even added the other hormones/meds to the mix yet. lol

[robinsbff]

i'm new over here but going to jump in. let me know if i should do an intro post.

we are TTC#2 for, well, awhile now (1 year plus). completed testing at the end of last year, just started with an RE in jan. on day 6 of our first IUI cycle. DH's morph is just barely low, but both his urologist and the RE said it wasn't likely a problem and everything came up fine with me. i'm on clomid until tomorrow, monitoring thurs am, then trigger if things are fine and IUI this weekend.

i spent the weekend reading over here, both current posts and old posts about clomid side effects (so far just a slight headache in the AM for me) and searching for IUI success stories.

[megstoo]

Jan 28, 2019 11:17:19 GMT -5 G22 said:

Jan 28, 2019 10:19:42 GMT -5 megstoo said:

G22 , I know it's easier said than done but don't stress. Everything will work out. I did keto but I couldn't do strict keto, is there a reason they want you doing keto? I know it's supposed to help with inflammation but strict keto is tough.

I'm glad you aren't feeling too bad post ER. Its ok/normal to be disappointed in the number you got. I felt the same way after my first ER. But I hope the ones you've got fertilized are strong and keep growing, including that 4th one!

They want me following keto because my labs showed I'm insulin resistant. My doctor pushes this diet really hard and basically told me I should be on it for the rest of my life so I dont become diabetic. I admit that shocked me and is definitely playing into how I feel right now.

This is silly, but I'm a very much rule follower (i cant help it, its some weird thing and I've always been this way) and that fact that I'm struggling to follow to the standards my RE set are leading to the stress.

I just feel like everything is being taken away (cant run, can't eat, ect) and the feeling of not being in control is leading to my anxiety flaring up. I'm a hot mess and I haven't even added the other hormones/meds to the mix yet. lol

I'm also insulin resistant which is part of having pcos.  Are you able to take metformin to help with that?  

[G22]

Jan 28, 2019 11:29:58 GMT -5 megstoo said:

Jan 28, 2019 11:17:19 GMT -5 G22 said:

I'm glad you aren't feeling too bad post ER. Its ok/normal to be disappointed in the number you got. I felt the same way after my first ER. But I hope the ones you've got fertilized are strong and keep growing, including that 4th one!

They want me following keto because my labs showed I'm insulin resistant. My doctor pushes this diet really hard and basically told me I should be on it for the rest of my life so I dont become diabetic. I admit that shocked me and is definitely playing into how I feel right now.

This is silly, but I'm a very much rule follower (i cant help it, its some weird thing and I've always been this way) and that fact that I'm struggling to follow to the standards my RE set are leading to the stress.

I just feel like everything is being taken away (cant run, can't eat, ect) and the feeling of not being in control is leading to my anxiety flaring up. I'm a hot mess and I haven't even added the other hormones/meds to the mix yet. lol

I'm also insulin resistant which is part of having pcos.  Are you able to take metformin to help with that?  

They are putting me on metformin as part of my FET protocol but it was on there prior to seeing my lab results. There was no talk of me being on it long term.

I'm not sure if it's because I barely present as IR? On my 3 hour test, I was IR at the 1st and 2nd hours, but not at the initial or 3rd hour. I do not have PCOS either.

[G22]

Jan 28, 2019 11:24:24 GMT -5 robinsbff said:

i'm new over here but going to jump in. let me know if i should do an intro post.

we are TTC#2 for, well, awhile now (1 year plus). completed testing at the end of last year, just started with an RE in jan. on day 6 of our first IUI cycle. DH's morph is just barely low, but both his urologist and the RE said it wasn't likely a problem and everything came up fine with me. i'm on clomid until tomorrow, monitoring thurs am, then trigger if things are fine and IUI this weekend.

i spent the weekend reading over here, both current posts and old posts about clomid side effects (so far just a slight headache in the AM for me) and searching for IUI success stories.

Welcome, I hope your stay here is short! I'm TTC #2 as well. Good luck with your IUI!

[vmars]

I have my genetic counselor appointment tomorrow morning and my HSG is scheduled for Friday.
I have to take a whole day off for the HSG which sucks because of the times they schedule it for (they only do it in the am). I am wondering if I will need to take fmla if I have to do IVF. I am hoping after a Tuesday I will have a better picture of my next steps..
I told my ILs this weekend about what is going on (they knew I had miscarriages). They are very easy to talk to and don’t intrude in anyway so I am glad I told them. They are very supportive of whatever we decide.

[Jalapeñomel]

Just waiting for the update on Wednesday. My embryologist does not disrupt them for an update until day 5. I just need one, please give me one good one. That's not too much to ask for.

All the pregnant women at my school are killing me. There are 4 teachers who are pregnant. FOUR.

[chocolatepie]

I've been busy with the insurance/pharmacy/doctor office game getting things squared away - we got our financial breakdown about an hour ago and my DH may need a stiff drink when he gets home And we have great insurance!

I stop the BCP tonight and have my baseline on Friday with starting the stim meds either Friday or Sat (I guess they tell you at your baseline?). Still don't have my box of meds but pharmacy is working on getting more authorization before shipping. I'm not panicked yet

Semi-fertility related story: A couple weeks ago, I had my first mammogram - my doctor wanted me to have one before starting the stim meds. It was a piece of cake but I got a call a few days later than I needed to go for additional testing and possible ultrasound. They reassured me it's because it was my first and they don't know what is normal for me. So I went for that on Friday afternoon, got squished again (though in a different type of machine), and the radiologist was still concerned so I was sent to ultrasound.

Ultrasound lady was completely silent and kept going over and over these same areas, and I could easily see the black circles on the screen. Then she was measuring them and making notes. This went on for 10 minutes, completely silent. I don't shake easily but when I finally do, I start spiraling (I go 0-60 when I find myself in a fearful situation - I'm a total Enneagram 6). The radiologist looks at them and they are just cysts! They want to recheck in 6 months to see if they've changed any.

I can't imagine doing that alone and finding out it's not just cysts. Gave me a new perspective.

[chocolatepie]

G22 I am so sorry. The diet thing, on top of everything else, sounds so overwhelming to me - I can imagine that is just another layer of stress (esp when many of us handle stress by eating!).

megstoo yay for 3! Are you transferring one or two?

robinsbff welcome, but sorry you find yourself here. Fingers crossed for your IUI!

vmars I'm glad your inlaws are supportive and that it was the right call to bring them into things. My HSG was AWFUL but I could have returned to work afterwards if needed. I was an emotional wreck but physically, I felt fine once it finished. Mine does them in the mornings only, too.

Jalapeñomel Hoping today and tomorrow fly by! I hate waiting :/ Fingers crossed for good news!

[megstoo]

Jan 28, 2019 13:30:12 GMT -5 chocolatepie said:

G22 I am so sorry. The diet thing, on top of everything else, sounds so overwhelming to me - I can imagine that is just another layer of stress (esp when many of us handle stress by eating!).

megstoo yay for 3! Are you transferring one or two?

robinsbff welcome, but sorry you find yourself here. Fingers crossed for your IUI!

vmars I'm glad your inlaws are supportive and that it was the right call to bring them into things. My HSG was AWFUL but I could have returned to work afterwards if needed. I was an emotional wreck but physically, I felt fine once it finished. Mine does them in the mornings only, too.

Jalapeñomel Hoping today and tomorrow fly by! I hate waiting :/ Fingers crossed for good news!

I'm only going to transfer 1 in hopes it takes.  If it doesn't we'll probably do another ER prior to another transfer.  

[vmars]

Jan 28, 2019 12:42:44 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Just waiting for the update on Wednesday. My embryologist does not disrupt them for an update until day 5. I just need one, please give me one good one. That's not too much to ask for.

All the pregnant women at my school are killing me. There are 4 teachers who are pregnant. FOUR.

Praying you get an awesome embryo! I know the feeling - everyone around me is pregnant too. My friend told me the day I started fertility testing she was pregnant with her physically abusives husbands baby.

[seeyalater52]

Hi folks!

@g22 I’m so sorry you had such a rough week. I hipe your transfer prep is going well, and that the bad feelings about your clinic don’t color the whole thing. I’m also doing Keto and it’s a big adjustment! Overall I feel great but my RE is agnostic about it so I don’t have that added layer of stress around doctor directions and stress about insulin resistance. I’m happy to be a low carb buddy and support each other with eating though!

Jalapeñomel I hope you get a wonderful day 5 report on Wednesday and at least one beautiful embryo.

megstoo such great news that you got 3 three day embryos to freeze! I hope you can start prepping for transfer soon.

Welcome to the board robinsbff and good luck with your IUI cycle.
chocolatepie yay you’re starting!!! I’m excited for you to begin your stims.

[seeyalater52]

Jan 28, 2019 11:41:44 GMT -5 vmars said:

I have my genetic counselor appointment tomorrow morning and my HSG is scheduled for Friday.
I have to take a whole day off for the HSG which sucks because of the times they schedule it for (they only do it in the am). I am wondering if I will need to take fmla if I have to do IVF. I am hoping after a Tuesday I will have a better picture of my next steps..
I told my ILs this weekend about what is going on (they knew I had miscarriages). They are very easy to talk to and don’t intrude in anyway so I am glad I told them. They are very supportive of whatever we decide.

Sending good vibes for the HSG and meeting with the genetic counselor. I hope they are able to provide you with the information you need to decide on next steps. Also so happy to hear your inlaws are supportive!

[seeyalater52]

I’m muddling along here in FET prep land. For the first time the estrogen prep is not murdering me so that is good. Not sure if it’s the low carb eating or the full effects of the thyroid med kicking in or exercising regularly or just being so busy at work that there is no time to focus on how miserable and pessimistic I feel about doing another transfer .... but whatever it is it’s working for me, at least physically.

Emotionally I’m a bit of a mess. All of this just feels so surreal and I feel lost.

[G22]

Jan 28, 2019 18:37:00 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

I’m muddling along here in FET prep land. For the first time the estrogen prep is not murdering me so that is good. Not sure if it’s the low carb eating or the full effects of the thyroid med kicking in or exercising regularly or just being so busy at work that there is no time to focus on how miserable and pessimistic I feel about doing another transfer .... but whatever it is it’s working for me, at least physically.

Emotionally I’m a bit of a mess. All of this just feels so surreal and I feel lost.

Thank you for your kind words. It's definitely a big adjustment in diet and mixed with everything else its just getting to me.

You must be getting close to your transfer! Remind me, are you an early-Feb transfer? I feel like some of the meds get easier over time, like your body gets used to them. I'm glad you are feeling a bit better! The emotional stuff is perfectly normal, I'm sorry to say. I cried in the car on the way to lunch yesterday and I'm only on bcp at the moment 🤦‍♀️

[seeyalater52]

Jan 28, 2019 20:09:37 GMT -5 G22 said:

Jan 28, 2019 18:37:00 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

I’m muddling along here in FET prep land. For the first time the estrogen prep is not murdering me so that is good. Not sure if it’s the low carb eating or the full effects of the thyroid med kicking in or exercising regularly or just being so busy at work that there is no time to focus on how miserable and pessimistic I feel about doing another transfer .... but whatever it is it’s working for me, at least physically.

Emotionally I’m a bit of a mess. All of this just feels so surreal and I feel lost.

Thank you for your kind words. It's definitely a big adjustment in diet and mixed with everything else its just getting to me.

You must be getting close to your transfer! Remind me, are you an early-Feb transfer? I feel like some of the meds get easier over time, like your body gets used to them. I'm glad you are feeling a bit better! The emotional stuff is perfectly normal, I'm sorry to say. I cried in the car on the way to lunch yesterday and I'm only on bcp at the moment 🤦‍♀️

Thank you! I’m scheduled for transfer Feb 12, so I’m about a week into estrogen. This is my 5th cycle taking estrogen like this so I kinda thought it was too late for me to get used to them but apparently not. It is the first time I havent felt like absolute crap. We will see what happens when I increase my dose later this week but hey one good week is still a win!

Aside from estrogen, BCP was the worst medication I’ve taken this whole time. It made me SO emotional and sick. Hang in there!

I honesty don’t know what I’m going to do if this doesn’t work. I’m trying to take it day by day but it’s really hard to think that this could be a fail, or even worse another loss. I don’t think I can cope.

[G22]

Jan 28, 2019 20:18:48 GMT -5 seeyalater52 said:

Jan 28, 2019 20:09:37 GMT -5 G22 said:

Thank you for your kind words. It's definitely a big adjustment in diet and mixed with everything else its just getting to me.

You must be getting close to your transfer! Remind me, are you an early-Feb transfer? I feel like some of the meds get easier over time, like your body gets used to them. I'm glad you are feeling a bit better! The emotional stuff is perfectly normal, I'm sorry to say. I cried in the car on the way to lunch yesterday and I'm only on bcp at the moment 🤦‍♀️

Thank you! I’m scheduled for transfer Feb 12, so I’m about a week into estrogen. This is my 5th cycle taking estrogen like this so I kinda thought it was too late for me to get used to them but apparently not. It is the first time I havent felt like absolute crap. We will see what happens when I increase my dose later this week but hey one good week is still a win!

Aside from estrogen, BCP was the worst medication I’ve taken this whole time. It made me SO emotional and sick. Hang in there!

I honesty don’t know what I’m going to do if this doesn’t work. I’m trying to take it day by day but it’s really hard to think that this could be a fail, or even worse another loss. I don’t think I can cope.

Sending so many hugs your way! Its so easy to swing from positive to negative feelings on this journey. I hit a very dark, angry place last time we did IF treatments. It took me a good year to pull out of it. It was definitely the lowest I've ever felt in my life.

I know it's hard to stay positive, but taking it day by day is good. I try to find things to distract me from sitting around with my thoughts, especially during the 2WW. I sometimes found hope in reading succes stories similar to mine online.

I'll be sending all kinds of positive vibes your way!

[fairfax]

Gearing up for transfer on Wednesday! I’m trying to find a balance between being positive and hopeful but not TOO hopeful. Luckily work is super crazy so it’s been a decent distraction.

[Yankees21]

I’m just waiting to test on Friday after my IUI. It seems like this cycle has lasted months.

[fairfax]

Jan 28, 2019 12:42:44 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Just waiting for the update on Wednesday. My embryologist does not disrupt them for an update until day 5. I just need one, please give me one good one. That's not too much to ask for.

All the pregnant women at my school are killing me. There are 4 teachers who are pregnant. FOUR.

Fingers crossed you get good news on Wednesday!! Sorry about all the pregos at work 🙁

[seeyalater52]

Jan 28, 2019 21:29:38 GMT -5 fairfax said:

Gearing up for transfer on Wednesday! I’m trying to find a balance between being positive and hopeful but not TOO hopeful. Luckily work is super crazy so it’s been a decent distraction.

Eeeee! Glad you have some distractions. Work has also been crazy for me too - a blessing and a curse while cycling! I’ll be thinking of you.

[landmermaid]

I'm so sorry to everyone who is struggling this week. This is such a hard issue to deal with. It's so hard to stay positive only to think you're setting yourself up for more pain. Not that it really protects us if things go bad, but we try to do what we can. I wish everyone peace and am sending positive thoughts your way.

[stellelinds25]

@gumby22 & seeyalater52 sending you ladies ((hugs)) hang in there...I strongly believe that women dealing with IF are some of the toughest bitches out there, even when you don't feel tough

robinsbff welcome...sorry you have to be here, but hopefully it's not for long!

Jalapeñomel fingers crossed for good news tomorrow!

fairfax good luck tomorrow!!

megstoo so glad to hear you have 3...hoping they continue to grow!

As for me...I had my first monitoring yesterday, they actually had measurable follies! Last time around I didn't have anything till I was 8 days into stims, so for me, this was awesome. They said everything looked good and kept my doses the same. I go back tomorrow morning and then again on Friday & Sunday. Retrieval will hopefully be around this time next week!

[G22]

stellelinds25 that's great news! I hope you have plenty of follies growing some nice healthy eggs!

[Jalapeñomel]

I'm feeling very scared today.

[G22]

Jan 29, 2019 13:12:19 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

I'm feeling very scared today.

Crossing everything you get some good news tomorrow! ((Hugs))

[landmermaid]

Jan 29, 2019 13:12:19 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

I'm feeling very scared today.

Hugs and hope are being sent your way. May tomorrow bring you good news, and today pass quickly.