Starting the process

[picaflora]

H and I are in the fact-finding phase of starting domestic adoption - so I have a few questions.

We are not able to have kids of our own (without spending tons of $$ on medical treatments), and we are leaning hard towards adoption.  Being that it would be our first child, we would prefer a baby (but not necessarily a newborn) or a young toddler.

Did anyone here foster to adopt?  Can you share your experiences?  I've signed up for our county's next info meeting, but it isn't until the first week in March.  I have no idea what to expect here or if there are specific non-agency adoption questions I should be asking.  I know our (small) metro has the 2nd highest number of kids in the foster program.  I don't know how many are available for adoption, but I'm sure that will be discussed.  Many of these kids are elementary age or older.  That is something we are considering down the line, but not for our first.

If you worked with an agency, how did you find a reputable one?  If possible, I would prefer one that is not religiously affiliate or if they are, the agency is open to other religions and/or those that don't practice a religion.  Agencies that will also adopt to LGBT parents and/or single parents would be a huge plus as well.  We're in the western part of VA, but can get to the DC area easily.  Or we would be willing to travel to other states - I just don't know if that complicates matters more.  What should I be looking out for/are red flags?  

[ktstorm]

We're starting the process of fostering, with the intention to eventually adopt. We are going through the state (we're in the "first" one)- there are private foster agencies in our state as well. Our pre-service trainer said that in general when placing children they go to the state-licensed parents first before calling the private agencies, so if you're looking to foster/adopt a baby, going through the state issue might be better. We had to take 30 hours of pre-service training, two homestudies by an outside agency, then we were assigned our home coordinator who had to do a home visit before opening our house. Now we can sign up for additional training classes and wait for a call. Our home coordinator told us that they generally like parents to have take the first aid and CPR training before they place any children as well. All of the additional trainings including first aid and CPR are offered for free to certified foster parents.

From most of my reading the requirements and process to foster are very state dependent. If you look up your state agency there's normally a free info session that requires no commitment if you want to learn more.

Good luck!

[ktstorm]

I missed that you had already signed up for an info session. Our state is very open to parents who are/accepting of LGBT and different religions - mainly because a lot of the older kids are in foster care because of not being kicked out of their homes or leaving for that exact reason.

[Jennjenn]

We used children’s home society in Richmond to adopt from foster care. While we were technically foster parents, we only looked at children who’s parental rights were terminated. We eventually ended with a 6 year old.

CHS also have an office in Fredericksburg. I believe their infant placement specialist is there. If they can’t help you they can direct you to who can but they assist in all kinds of adoptions from infant up. The process is long and tedious. You also can match with a child not in your county. Ours was from a different county.

Good luck!

[oneslybookworm]

We didn’t go through foster care, but through an agency. We just did a LOT of research on agencies. I googled reviews, looked at FB groups for reviews, and talked with colleagues who had adopted. It’s hard to find non-religious affiliated agencies, but they’re out there! Feel free to PM if you have questions!

[pixy0stix]

We worked with an agency, and lucked out that we had a fantastic one in town. I had casually started looking years prior to our making a decision, and had gathered information by bits and pieces. We interviewed the agency, and knew right away they were who we wanted (non-religious based, all inclusive to anyone who wanted to adopt). IME you can tell right away if an agency is religious based. They're not shy about it, LOL! Just ask a ton of questions.