Embryo Storage - when to donate/destroy/etc. - WWYD/WDYD

[konapoppy]

I can't think of the right title for this thread.

We always planned to have two, and surprisingly we did with the one great embryo we had. We have one embryo being stored, although one of the chromosomes only has an 80% chance of being normal. As some of you know, we have been on the wrong side of way better odds than that. 

H is getting a vasectomy next month. I have been getting rid of baby stuff as soon as the girls are done with it. I truly do not see us having a third.


Our embryo storage just went up to $50/month (the email from the clinic started with "an important message regarding cryo storage" which I am sure gave more than a few people a brief heart attack).


I am thinking about moving forward with our plan for that embryo - I have to go back and look at what we decided, but also, I am not sure it is worth donating given the PGS results. I feel we are done, and paying $600 a year isn't appealing. 

I feel like I should be hesitating more. When did you know it was time? 

[icedcoffee]

Can you donate to science?

We have been paying $600 a year to store 6 vials of DHs sperm. We froze it randomly when DHs SA came back at “normal” versus zero sperm. We ended up using fresh sperm for both of our IVF cycles so it has just been chilling there. The annual fee actually just renewed in a January and I paid it again. We will probably destroy it next January once DS2 is here.

DH would probably be annoyed if I told him I renewed it this year but I mentally needed to. (I didn’t lie. He hasn’t asked about it. LOL). It’s hard even if you know you don’t need it.

I want to donate to science/research but my H wants it destroyed. I’m obviously going to respect that.

ETA: We have transferred all 3 of our only embryos to make it so fortunately (?!) no decisions to make in that regard.

[konapoppy]

icedcoffee - yes, donate to science is what we picked! I just couldn’t remember. H is fine with moving on.

There are a few other abnormal embryos being stored with it. We were lucky to only have to go through one transfer.

[scm1011]

We will be donating our remaining 3 embryos to science once renewal comes up again (assuming safe arrival of DD). We are 100% sure we’re done at 2.

[shauni27]

We donated to science as well (I would have been happy to donate to an individual looking for embryo adoption but our clinic does not offer that.) We donated within weeks of having S and we were both very good with that decision. I have no regrets what so ever, 1.5 years later. The only reason we did not donate it even before that was because we wanted to make sure S got here safe and sound.

I was not hesitant at all but I did have a lot of dreams about being pregnant once we made the decision which made me feel funny, but truly, no regrets.

[Mushe]

Big decision! It sounds like you’re there, since you’re very sure that two is the right number for your family, but I’m sure it’s still a hard call to make. Wishing you peace as you move forward.

[kellikans]

We're coming up on having to make that decision as well. Since this was an unplanned pregnancy, and we know we definitely don't want a third, we have one chormosomally normal embryo left. I think we originally chose to have it destroyed, but now that feels strange to me, so we might decide to donate to research instead. H is getting snipped after this baby is here. My OB suggested waiting a little while after DD is here to make a final decision just in case we change our minds. We'll probably keep it for another year or so since our storage fees went up to $700/yr.

[EllenGriswold]

H and I were just talking about this the other day. Right now we have 5 embryos in storage and are in the process for a FET. Hopefully this one works but that still leaves us with a few embryos in storage. I’m still holding on to the idea that we might have 3, H thinks he is done at 2. We also aren’t sure exactly what we will do, H is good with donation, I’m not sure I am.

So I say if you both agree you are done and aren’t worried about that decision I wouldn’t make it harder. It’s a good thing to feel good about it!

[dellabear]

We donated ours this year. We were billed annually for storage so it’s only come up for a decision once a year. First year R was really new and I wasn’t sure. 2nd year I felt pretty sure but it still somehow didn’t feel like the right time. This year I finally said, yeah I definitely know we aren’t going to do any more fertility treatments, so we really don’t need to hang on any longer.

It’s still kind of a weird decision to have to make, even if you’re confident about it.

[konapoppy]

Thanks, all. I decided to email the clinic to get the paperwork going. It does feel strange.

[pooh8402]

Feb 18, 2019 15:11:25 GMT -5 EllenGriswold said:

I’m still holding on to the idea that we might have 3, H thinks he is done at 2. We also aren’t sure exactly what we will do

This is us. As difficult as this pregnancy has been for me, I'm still open to a 3rd, but I think H is firmly set on 2. We're not getting any younger, he's already 40.


DH and I are more religious than most on this board, so we're really torn on what to do with our remaining 4 embryos. We consider them our children, so we don't feel comfortable donating them for adoption, but we also believe that life doesn't start until there is a heartbeat. I think we'll keep them frozen for now, and once we're (really, me) ready to 100% close the door, we'll likely destroy.

[King26]

We are struggling with this now. It took us 4 ivf cycles to get j and we have 1 embryo frozen thats fair quality. I doubt it would take and im not even sure i want a second but i think of everything it took to get it and the fact j and it were frozen together and sometimes i want to give it a try. But, we will probabky destroy or donate

[belovedbride07]

Feb 20, 2019 10:25:10 GMT -5 King26 said:

We are struggling with this now. It took us 4 ivf cycles to get j and we have 1 embryo frozen thats fair quality. I doubt it would take and im not even sure i want a second but i think of everything it took to get it and the fact j and it were frozen together and sometimes i want to give it a try. But, we will probabky destroy or donate

We're in the same spot -- the one we have frozen was thawed for PGS last summer and we know it tested normal, but it's not a great quality embryo overall. My heart wants another, but logically stopping with our two make so much more sense. But this embryo would really be our last shot at trying as there is no way we could afford to start over with fresh cycles, and I don't think I have the heart to at this point anyways. It's such a hard decision for us, so we're just going to keep it in storage for now. I can't imagine making the call to destroy it, but I REALLY don't want to cycle again, even if it is "only" an FET. (We are not interested in donating.)