I’m with the beat a bitch badge team. We all give you permission to go off if the co-leader steps out of line.
Be kind to yourself. This isn’t what you wanted I’m sure, but your happiness and your kids happiness is key. We are all here in you need an ear. Huge hugs lady.
This breaks my heart for you, but you will come out the other side. I think I said this on one of your posts but my h changed a lot after his mom died. It has been a weird time for sure. I hate for him to rush into something so final while this adjustment is so new, but you need to be able to do what you need to do. Xo.
Post by notoriousmeg on Mar 17, 2019 15:24:32 GMT -5
I’m so sorry cleo29. Please be kind to yourself. No one person is responsible for a marriage. You are strong and will be okay. Lean on us and those around you.
This breaks my heart for you, but you will come out the other side. I think I said this on one of your posts but my h changed a lot after his mom died. It has been a weird time for sure. I hate for him to rush into something so final while this adjustment is so new, but you need to be able to do what you need to do. Xo.
I think he has been feeling this way on and off for a little over two years, so before his mom got sick. If anything, i kind of think that might have spurred him more in the direction of facing how he was feeling, if that makes sense.
This breaks my heart for you, but you will come out the other side. I think I said this on one of your posts but my h changed a lot after his mom died. It has been a weird time for sure. I hate for him to rush into something so final while this adjustment is so new, but you need to be able to do what you need to do. Xo.
I think he has been feeling this way on and off for a little over two years, so before his mom got sick. If anything, i kind of think that might have spurred him more in the direction of facing how he was feeling, if that makes sense.
I'm so sorry. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. I'm sorry you have to go through this even though I know you'll come out stronger & better on the other side.
I think he has been feeling this way on and off for a little over two years, so before his mom got sick. If anything, i kind of think that might have spurred him more in the direction of facing how he was feeling, if that makes sense.
I'm so sorry. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. I'm sorry you have to go through this even though I know you'll come out stronger & better on the other side.
this is why I did not want to go to therapy in the hopes of salvaging things if that is not what he is really hoping for, no matter how he might he wish he felt that way. he does not. If that is how he feels i have to accept it.
It will be letting go how i thought life would be that I think will be hardest in many ways.
I’m so sorry. I know this has been going on for quite awhile and now you have your answer. The guessing game is over. The back and forth and walking on eggshells is over. You know the answer and now you can make a plan and find your new normal.
I know you’ve got this in you. I know you’re going to come out stronger once this is all over.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Divorce can be such a heartbreaking process, even if you know its best for everyone. Big hugs to you. You’ll get through this.
I'm so sorry. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. I'm sorry you have to go through this even though I know you'll come out stronger & better on the other side.
this is why I did not want to go to therapy in the hopes of salvaging things if that is not what he is really hoping for, no matter how he might he wish he felt that way. he does not. If that is how he feels i have to accept it.
It will be letting go how i thought life would be that I think will be hardest in many ways.
You are showing much more grace and class than I ever could. You will be just fine and I am glad you get to move on and not live in limbo. You don’t deserve that.
Post by maudefindlay on Mar 17, 2019 18:38:06 GMT -5
I hope you find comfort in knowing you gave it your all. This must hurt incredibly, but you are actually doing something that will give you and your kids happiness in the long run.
i keep thinking random things like: what do i do with my wedding rings? my wedding dress? Do i sell the latter?
i look at my house and now i am really thinking we need to get shit in order. clear out the junk, things to give away, and get it together.
So, I'm no lawyer but I *think* the wedding / engagement rings are YOURS since they were given as a 'gift' with the expectation that the marriage would last. Since they are YOUR property, they are yours to do what you wish with. Know that you probably won't get much $ for either, but I can definitely understand wanting to get rid of the tangible memories.
Post by Chuppathingy on Mar 17, 2019 18:50:51 GMT -5
I’m sorry you’re facing this Cleo. I know it’s hard right now but everything will turn out OK, very different but still OK. When I went through it I felt like my divorce was the end of everything. Now I am so much happier than I even knew was possible. I hope the same proves to be true for you and your kids.
i keep thinking random things like: what do i do with my wedding rings? my wedding dress? Do i sell the latter?
i look at my house and now i am really thinking we need to get shit in order. clear out the junk, things to give away, and get it together.
My mom divorced when i was 10? Yeah 10. She kept her wedding & engagement ring. I got her ruby engagement ring and my sister got her wedding band. Her dress would have been made into christening (I’m not having kids) or I think there is a piece left for me to put in my OWN wedding gown if/when that time comes.
That isn’t important right now. Just take it day by day. You are thinking wayyyy too far ahead. Your emotions will be all over the place.
I mostly lurk but I needed to respond to this to empathize with you. Several years ago at just this time of year my first H indicated our marriage was over and I experienced the sheer fear of not having about idea what life would look like, mostly in my situaton coming from financial concerns. What I can say from my experience is that it won't not feel like it now but you and your girls will be great. Not in the same life you see today, but in another path, it will come with time. Please take care of yourself, especially in these first bewildering days. I also second the suggestion to seek legal counsel (and more than one consult) earlier rather than later to understand next steps.
Post by lovebug0516 on Mar 17, 2019 20:31:03 GMT -5
I’m so sorry. I was in this same place over 5 years ago. I had quit my job to help my H achieve all of his career goals and then it was all over. I still stayed home with my DD for over two more years and then went back to work. It’s scary but i promise one day you will wake up and it won’t feel so scary. One day at a time. Things always find a way of falling into place. Give yourself time to process and grief this big change. Hugs to you.