My mom still has the drain in. So she won’t come home until next week. I am way stressing.
DS fell asleep after playing with the nanny so maybe he’s sick? That’s not normal - maybe DH accidentally bringing him home early wasn’t so bad.
I can’t decide if I should run my 5k Saturday but am leaning towards yes. It should be beautiful weather, the doctor said to just watch my heart rate but I can work out and there are medics all along the course (this is the race in which DD passed out and how we discovered her autonomic dysfunction). I should have blood test results tomorrow and then next week find out if they want to start with a 24 hour monitor or a stress test.
I got a call today from the same lawyer who tried last year to hire me, but his partner who is the head of the office was obviously not the least bit interested in me. I work with him a lot, as he’s one of my main outside counsel. We work really well together, and I would love to work with him. BUT I’m not really interested because, 1) it’s in Seattle, and I don’t get paying $1 million for a shack where the junkies crapping in your bushes and shooting up on your lawn are thrown in for free, 2) I’m not unhappy with my job and I’m finally doing some stuff I’m excited about, and 3) last time it seriously bruised my ego when she offered me less than they offer first year associates. To say it wasn’t serious is a major understatement. But I told him I’m generally looking to move, though not terribly actively, so if they have an offer that’s not insulting, let me know.
I’m not going back up there and jumping through hoops. They know who I am. They interviewed me. They can show me some serious money or fuck off. I’m hoping he knows about a better fit for me elsewhere. Not at a firm but in house. Or in a technical job.
My employee with cancer has taken a turn for the worse. He’s been in the hospital a couple of weeks. And when he went out unexpectedly, we got a front row seat to just how badly he’s messing up at work. It’s insane. He’s had six months to complete a project. The amount of work he’s actually done on it would take a sub-par worker two weeks. So I’m looking at possibly having to fire an employee who has a terminal illness. Sometimes being a supervisor sucks. He’s a really nice person. He’s just apparently not capable of working without being absolutely micromanaged. I can’t justify paying someone six figures who can’t complete an assignment without my feeding it to him in bite sized pieces.
mommyatty is there some kind of leave or something he can be put on for a while?
Ds still has a cough. Mom was taking them to a movie yesterday and I told her to bring him to me and I would take him in. She said he just needs the good Advil cold and sinus, the kind you make meth with, so she took him to Kroger. Mkay
I told Dh it should be obvious why I am insane. I'm at work trying to wrangle the kids, now mom, and throw in Dd mad because she doesn't want to go to the movies with memaw without ds. And Dh is still a 48 year old that is actually worse at understanding women than he was 20 years ago. I literally told him I wanted to hear, rere you have a lot to juggle and it sucks that it falls on you when I am working. Instead he tells me I have been overly stressed lately and how he would handle it. Then gripes because I left the garage door open and there are leaves in the garage. I told him I wish all I had to worry about was fing leaves. Good thing he left for work.
DD is loving pre-team. She said the biggest difference is the pace. Coach J keeps telling them its not a race and slow down and think before you do. Which is the complete opposite of Coach A who was lets see how many perfect pull overs you can do in 3 minutes and GO.
No news on TAG. DD is just plugging along in class. Her teacher says she does everything she asks and seems happy and content. I can't seem to get it through the teachers head that no DD isn't going to cause a scene at school she waits and blows in the comfort of her own home or mom's car.
rere - omg yes! DH was waxing poetic about his garage cleaning plans when I was trying to tell him why I am stressed. He said he has helped this week because he unloaded the top rack of the dishwasher and washed sheets. I seriously want to text him a daily play by play of what I do.
rere - omg yes! DH was waxing poetic about his garage cleaning plans when I was trying to tell him why I am stressed. He said he has helped this week because he unloaded the top rack of the dishwasher and washed sheets. I seriously want to text him a daily play by play of what I do.
rere- he’s unexpectedly on short term disability, which pays at 100% for a limited number of weeks. The problem is that he can’t afford to go on long term disability, which pays out at 60% unless you “buy up” which he has steadfastly refused to do for 2 years, or retire. He hasn’t been at the company very long, so his retirement is bupkis. So he keeps coming back before his STD runs out. But also, he’s never been a stellar producer, and now that we are all having to do more with less, he just doesn’t have another notch to kick it up to. What kisses me off is that he’s been flat out lying about where he was on this project in weekly check in meetings for 4 months.
I feel like today is "fight with vendors" day for me. I've got a headache and three different vendors that I have to call and ream out for screw ups of various kinds. Not exactly the best way to head into the weekend. Ugh.
DH acts offended when I act like I have to do it all. Yet he constantly tells me he cannot help with any kind of childcare or chores during the week because he might be traveling. He can't tell me his travel schedule in advance because he doesn't know until the day before he has to travel typically. He has more control over his schedule then he acts like because he has been trying to see his therapist on Mondays and therefore doesn't travel, but ask him to get the kids on the bus Monday morning, and he is totally not available and the neighbors should do it. Never mind that I already have the neighbors slated as emergency contact for pick ups if I am stuck at court.
And he made the decision himself to stay home all last week. Probably for his mental health and tired of not being appreciated at work, which I get. Then proceeds to tell me not to act like he isn't here. Dude, I've made so many plans to handle everything by myself. I've made plans on top of plans. I've made plans in 1 minute increments on how to get kids to and from activities at the exact same time. Just because you decided to stay home and by the way not tell anyone does not mean that you are not included. I asked 4 times on Sat, and he still never told me despite adding much more food to our grocery delivery cart. Sunday he says I told you on Sat. Um NO.
Not to say he is a deadbeat because once it was confirmed 8 million times he was actually around, then I did slate him for basketball, dentist and baseball this week for DS. This was after he already planned a drink with a friend on an open night and tried to tag along with me on a girls night. It's a girls night- the description says it all- you and the kids are not welcome. I literally never get to go out by myself.
Omg you guys... I’m reading all of the H stuff and boy can I relate.
I’m a SAHM right now, so I get that the kid stuff is mostly on me. But ANYTHING kid related is a big f-omg favor lately. On Monday, I got really sick. High fever, aches, chills, honestly my legs buckled every time I tried to stand. I still fully intended on picking up the kids, because I did not want to feel like I owed DH for doing me a “favor”. Monday night DH grumbled because he had to take DD1 to, and participate in, a pitching clinic. I CAN BARELY STAND. GO PLAY CATCH FOR AN HOUR GODDAMMIT!!
I just had a phone interview for a PT job, and DH was trying to talk to me during it, despite me repeatedly gesturing at my headset and talking about my resume. He then texted that he just needed his sunglasses and that I needed to “relax”. Dude. I was INTERVIEWING.
I feel like I have a million balls in the air at all times. I know he’s busy, but OMG participate here!!
Now that I have a second department I am busyier at work, which was the intent. So he calls me to tell me the kids can't stay at the grandparents house this weekend since we have to go for SIL's 3rd wedding reception. I never wanted to go in the first place. SIL is so cheap and won't pay for a hotel room, but complains all the time and goes to Europe every year. DH complains because we can't stay there even though he waits until the very last minute to ask. Sorry, but your communication sucks. We still can't plan our June trip because he hasn't confirmed with his parents to watch the kids or 1 kid or booked DS's sleep away camp that was entirely his idea. You can't just wait until the last minute for everything and then get mad.
Thank everyone! I am really excited and also pretty nervous. My leaving boss is confident that I have all the necessary skills and we have 3 weeks to get me in the know on all the meetings outside of my sphere. I might be coming to you all for help in managing a team. I am the only woman in all the meetings, the only woman on my team and only 1 of 10 women on a 100+ person project.
I am already getting fairly condescending remarks in the meetings. One man likes to call me young lady which I can't stand.
On the flip side the older gentleman who don't hesitate to go off on the other guys check themselves before cursing and blowing up at me.
I had a breakdown about childcare and jury duty again this morning. Finally DH stopped making jokes, telling me it’s the neighbors problem and stepped up but it took a breakdown for this to happen. Then he tries to tell me he is maybe for Thursday and Friday and I said no you are a definite. I cannot handle his inability to plan. I get it’s a function of the job demanding him to travel at 12 hours notice and I hope it will get better with new job maybe but he’s always telling me what he can’t do.
Then I ask my mom for back up for later weeks and she repeatedly tells me she can’t because my BIL is traveling for work. Yay no crap my H has traveled for work for 9 years FFS.
Then my SIL was telling us that the camp we were thinking of sending DS to was terrible which freaked me out. She later apologized but I’m not thrilled with the camp because it’s far away, $$ and I’ve never been there.
Parallel lives again waverly. I think the whole “consultant mentality” bleeds over into home life. If it’s not literally on fire it’s fine because their jobs revolve around correcting chaos models. I’ve had this convo with DH and his take after discussing is to either tell me yes or propose a solution. I countered with if I can’t and he can’t he can OWN the solution as I don’t need more to manage - he’s my last resort almost, usually. IDK if your DH would buy in but sometimes it really pays off. Sometimes I have to Micromanage him and that sucks but it sucks less than doing it myself.
Parallel lives again waverly. I think the whole “consultant mentality” bleeds over into home life. If it’s not literally on fire it’s fine because their jobs revolve around correcting chaos models. I’ve had this convo with DH and his take after discussing is to either tell me yes or propose a solution. I countered with if I can’t and he can’t he can OWN the solution as I don’t need more to manage - he’s my last resort almost, usually. IDK if your DH would buy in but sometimes it really pays off. Sometimes I have to Micromanage him and that sucks but it sucks less than doing it myself.
Yup. It wasn’t on fire. The two times he reported he wasn’t selected and was out at 2. He doesn’t seem to fathom a world where that doesn’t happen. Also he has more control over his schedule then he will admit. He doesn’t travel Mon morning so he can see his therapist and last week he didn’t travel at all because he didn’t want to. He is not client facing on a regular basis so he doesn’t have to do the Mon-Thur thing. His solution is ask neighbor which doesn’t work for me if he wont tell me his schedule. Because then if I take the kids to before care or to the neighbor while he is sitting right there doing nothing he acts offended and says I am acting like he isn’t there. No crap. You just told me that you cannot confirm your presence on any single day ever so.... of course I act like you aren’t here.
It was just a super emotional weekend. We are both stressed about starting new jobs. And the family drama was super high. I forgot to pack essentials like underwear, deodorant and toothpaste. The reception was OK but it was just so crazy like tons of super awkward relatives of DH I haven’t seen in 10 years.
ETA- how many times can I say super in that last paragraph? It was all extremely extra.