Monday's back

[tiramisu]

How is everyone doing? How were your weekends? Tell us all the things!

[tiramisu]

I felt really badly yesterday that I was tired and feeling like I'm getting sick, so I wasn't a lot of fun on Mother's Day. I was going to help with cooking, but then started to feel sick and thought it would be better if I kept my germs to myself.

If I were going to be at my old job more than one day this week, I'd call in sick today. I'm exhausted. But Mucinex D, tea, and Halls will have to do.

Saturday I did a whole lot of nothing, which was really wonderful. The new job is awesome so far, but I needed a day of letting my brain soak it all in and not learning new things.

[bullygirl979]

tiramisu, glad the new job is going well and I hope you feel better soon!

[bullygirl979]

Friday night I laid low.

Saturday I went running with a new running group. Everyone was really nice and I'll go running with them again. After that I went to my nephew's graduation party and then went to a bike race with a friend. One of her friends showed up who I'm kind of friends with, which I was happy about seeing as friend I went with couldn't walk more than a quarter of mile talking with different people. Friend I went with also talked about issues with her sister, and how she feels sister monopolizes the conversation. Friend said "I was thinking, is that how Bully feels about me? Because I feel like I monopolize our conversation sometimes." I didn't really say anything as this is the friend I've had issues with recently. I've tried to be conscious of her struggles in the last 18 months, but I think I just need to recognize this is something that I may not be able to count on 100% of the time. Le sigh.

Sunday was a bit of a sh*t show as my mom didn't decide until 10am what she wanted to do, and I have a big family which means it's hard to coordinate. We discussed possibly doing something at my house and my mom said "can I let you know after church?" which would be around 1pm, when she wanted to eat at 5pm. I said "NO! You have to decide now!" lol. We ended up doing pizza at my house and we supplemented with a few sides. It went well and everyone had fun. So, a success on short notice!

[SwimDeep]

Hope you feel better soon, tiramisu!

It's a true Monday for me... I'm regretting a lot of decisions I've made in my life. Regretting so much of my past.
Wishing I was in a different place in my life. But I'm here, grinding away.

It's nothing really - I'm on my period and I want a baby. I recognize that it's a completely irrational desire. I know I need to focus on taking care of myself (mentally and emotionally). It just...sometimes the emotion just sweeps over me, you know?

This is the kind of day I'm grateful to work from home.

[kaneen]

May 13, 2019 11:07:03 GMT -5 SwimDeep said:

Hope you feel better soon, tiramisu !

It's a true Monday for me... I'm regretting a lot of decisions I've made in my life. Regretting so much of my past.
Wishing I was in a different place in my life. But I'm here, grinding away.

It's nothing really - I'm on my period and I want a baby. I recognize that it's a completely irrational desire. I know I need to focus on taking care of myself (mentally and emotionally). It just...sometimes the emotion just sweeps over me, you know?

This is the kind of day I'm grateful to work from home.

Regret is such a horrible emotion.  You can do exactly NOTHING about what you’ve done in the past so regretting it is a waste of time.  I know that’s easy for me to say and harder to really live but I felt it worth saying.  And on the bright side, you can control how you behave in the future.  Every day, hell every minute is an opportunity to do better.

[kaneen]

I actually don’t mind that today is Monday and it’s even grey and rainy here. I’m just in a good mood anyway.

Friday night I stayed in and caught up on my DVR. Saturday I went to my nephew’s first bday party. Had dinner after with my sister, parents, and grandma. Yesterday I had family and some friends over for Mother’s Day dinner. I made brown sugar, balsamic vinegar glazed pork tenderloin in the slow cooker. Sides were Parmesan garlic potato wedges and steamed veggies. Holy heck, it was good! When I took the pork out of the slow cooker it just fell apart.

All around a great weekend. My grandma is still in town so I’m meeting she and my parents for dinner and then going to a winery by their house.

[downtoearth]

This weekend was good - I mean, really good. I ran a race with my middle kid on Saturday, then met friends for beers, then hiked a nearby mountain when I didn't want to be around others, then bought myself a big palm plant. I also had a good Sunday with a day filled with hikes, an outdoor yoga class, picnic, and golf with my kids and mom/dad. Considering it's my first Mother's day without a partner to take on the kid stuff and pamper me, I did pretty well, I think. I was only sad for about 20-min in the shower and 20-min while hiking b/c I realized I have to make breakfast and make a plan for the day with the kids instead of getting pampered myself. I just miss feeling loved by a partner. I was totally able to dote on the kids and have a good time with my own mom, but I just felt a hole in my guts. I had to remind myself not to imagine STBXH making breakfast and buying gifts for his girlfriend (who is also a mother) b/c that is what he did for me for the past 12 years and I really loved feeling like a special wife who was also a good mom (and I usually had sex too, which I really miss). Now I just get to focus on the mom part and have to let go of the partner part. Guess that's par for the course for holidays for the foreseeable future, huh?

[doglove]

Had a good weekend! No complaints here. We had brunch out both days and some social events - a baseball game and some friends came over Saturday night for a bit. I got to chat with my mom and dad on video chat yesterday too.

We have a cool week before the weather heats up again. I’m going to try to take full advantage of outside dog walks and runs. I’m also making myself cupcakes for my birthday this week. I’m trying out a lemon cake with raspberries baked in and a raspberry buttercream frosting with raspberry liquor. Yum!

[neonpink]

I had a crazy fun weekend. Friday I rode my new bike 4+ miles to an iron pour at a bar. Drank a little to much to ride home so took the train with my bike. I didn't feel like I could ride in the semi darkness with my new bike. Saturday I prepared all sorts of good food for my family and had my Mom over for dinner and presents. She said it was her best Mother's day in a long time. My brother who moved a few blocks away got to share/show us his new apartment. Sunday was an awesome tailgate brunch for my soccer team followed by a winning game. I came home covered in gold/red glitter took a shower and watched Game of thrones( meh.) Now I am yawning at my desk and wishing I could go take a nap.

I also beat doglove, in a fitbit daily challenge which rarely happens. Doglove is always moving.

[doglove]

neonpink - I had to set that up just to motivate myself to go for a run. My energy has taken a dive the last few days and all I’ve wanted to do is nap!!

[downtoearth]

bullygirl979, I have a friend who is maybe like yours. I'm having a hard time trying to stay supportive of her and her complaints when I just want to tune her out these days.

SwimDeep, hugs on your regrets, no advice from me, just hugs. I wish I worked from home some days also.

[bullygirl979]

downtoearth, hugs to you. I'm sorry that you felt sad and yes, usually the "firsts" are the hardest. I do promise that it gets easier, though.

[bullygirl979]

kaneen, care to share the pork recipe?

[kaneen]

bullygirl979

food52.com/recipes/22841-crock-pot-brown-sugar-balsamic-glazed-pork-tenderloin

Definitely take the time to broil it at the end to carmelize the glaze.  So good!

[spindle92]

Hello lovely ladies!!!

Today is my day off but I was up early as I had back to back dr's appointments.
I AM FINALLY FREE OF MY BOOT!!!!!!!!
Yes I needed to scream that news!

I went grocery shopping and was not in any mood to cook today so I bought a ton of pre made stuff.
Now I am just relaxing with my Kitty and looking up different tour companies in Rome to get us to Vatican City.

[spindle92]

SwimDeep, I feel you on the regret.

I had a therapy apt today and we touched on that a bit and I was in tears.
Where I am right now in my life is not anywhere near where I thought I would be.
I am trying to not focus on the past and the missteps I took but it is hard.
Hang in there - we are in this together.

[cleo29]

It has been a rough week and weekend. I was really down, did not really want to do much for mother's day. learned my sister suddenly lost her job on Friday, with no warning, so she was really upset. I believe she will bounce back and has a ton of business contacts, but it is scary.

stbxh and i had a long talk last night that got heated. It just felt awful, but we smoothed things over. I think emotions are high on both sides. And he is realizing fully just what he did. It's been a lot. I am glad for my support group tomorrow.

[tiramisu]

Thank you ladies!

spindle92 HOORAY for being out of the boot finally!!!!!

SwimDeep I have moments kind of like that. Especially being single and 38. I want to have a child, but have no idea if it'll ever happen for me at this point. We all have things that bother us, I think. I try not to dwell, yet. But that's what helps me.


cleo29 all the hugs for you. Like others have said, it will eventually get easier. I remember how my anger used to spike up out of nowhere at XH. I used to write terrible, terrible emails to him saying all of the things I wanted to say but couldn't. I wouldn't put any emails address in the subject line and they would all just get saved in my drafts folder. I guess it was my version of journaling and it definitely helped me get some of my anger out. For you maybe you could do something like that, but like you're writing to her.

[SwimDeep]

Thank you for the hair pats, guys - I really do appreciate it.

I'm trying to pick myself up today and not dwell in the past. Thank you

[downtoearth]

cleo29, hope your support group helped today. I looked to find one of those after you noted you found one through a therapist, and couldn't in my area.

I showed up to meet my lawyer today and I was one day off... she was in another client meeting and her assistant almost let me walk into the meeting room with like 3 other people. At the last minute, I asked, "wait, is she in there with someone?" and then we figured out I was a day off of my meeting. That would have been really awkward if I just walked in and they were doing super secret legal stuff.