Early FFFC

[sunshineluv]

Why do you think the topic will come up?

[Regina Philange]

It is really hard. My inlaws are the same way. And my FIL is so hardcore about his opinions, doesnt keep an open mind. Sometimes, it hurts to talk to them about issues. I try to stay out of it. Its not even fun to talk to him about it because he makes you feel stupid if you do not agree with him. He sometimes doesnt even let me finish my sentences.

[erniebufflo]

You don't deserve to be flamed. It's hard disagreeing with the inlaws. Mine are super religious righters. They're good people, and they care about us and help us and support us, but we don't agree on many big issues. My FIL particularly likes to badger me and I suck at keeping my mouth shut. Hubby knows it is absolutely his job to change the subject, and if his dad won't stop, to back me up. We have had a few hilarious incidents. The time, hiking in the Smokie Mountains, when he started a fight about evolution and I ran to a bathroom screaming, "PLEASE, STOP, I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU ABOUT THIS!" And another time at dinner when he started trying to fight with me about women and the church, complete with scripture, which I am more than capable of quoting right back at him. When I suggested we should try to move on to another topic, he accused me of "trying to shut him up" and then I tried to storm away from the table only to realize I was blocked in a corner and at least 2 other people would have to get up for me to leave. So I sat back down awkwardly. Or the time he basically said infant baptisms are meaningless, and I was like, well, I was baptized as an infant, and it means something to ME.

[rubber pants]

Sept 20, 2012 12:11:26 GMT -5 Regina Philange said:

It is really hard. My inlaws are the same way. And my FIL is so hardcore about his opinions, doesnt keep an open mind. Sometimes, it hurts to talk to them about issues. I try to stay out of it. Its not even fun to talk to him about it because he makes you feel stupid if you do not agree with him. He sometimes doesnt even let me finish my sentences.[/quote]

awwwwww!

[Regina Philange]

Sept 20, 2012 12:13:34 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

Sept 20, 2012 12:09:43 GMT -5 sunshineluv said:

Why do you think the topic will come up?

Because it is his entire extended family and they love talking about what is wrong with the world today.

It most definately will come up then. it comes up EvErY visit with my inlaws. I would try to stay out of it. But i dont know, your inlaws might be a little more open to debate than mine are.

[rubber pants]

I cant poop in public (like public restrooms). I've tried and can't. I lock up and just cant do it.

Just call me "shit break".

[erniebufflo]

FTR, allegedly CFA is ending its support of the anti-gay orgs. They still have that ass of a CFO though.

[TrudyCampbell]

That's really hard. My ILs are ultra conservative as well and I try hard not to engage in conversation with them about stuff which is usually easy. There was an incident recently where they said something about Violet having a boyfriend and I said "or a girlfriend!" and they nearly died.

[Deleted]

I have this problem in multiple ways (some racist bigots and some so-close-minded-it-hurts liberals who insinuate that republicans are going to hell. seriously.) and my H and I have decided to use those moments as teaching moments with the kid. Like, "we can love someone but not like his opinions" or "We don't talk about people using those words." But, I'm so non-confrontational it hurts, so I couldn't ever say anything.....until I explode and my DH tries to prevent that.

[amandar204]

Sept 20, 2012 12:06:26 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

I am gonna toss this around since I won't be around tomorrow. Flame me if I deserve it.
I'm afraid to spend time around Chris' family now because I"m afraid they will shun me when/if they find out what I believe. I am all for gay marriage and I"m pro-choice, but they are all not. I almost said something about my thoughts on Chick Fil A the last time we were with them, but held back. I'm not ashamed of what I believe, but I will be so outnumbered if an arguement arises and I know that Chris will want to stay out of. I just have a feeling that something might happen this weekend and I don't know if I can keep quiet.
Also, I'm eating Taco Bell even though I know I"m gonna get the poops.

DH's family are huge bible thumpers and so anti-gay. DH's brother is gay and it's not well hidden. I've even heard him mom say gays go to hell. I am so for everyone do what makes you happy. I've fought about it with him parents before because they mentioned it and I was all defending it... There arguement is oh it's int he bible. So are a lot of other things that we don't follow now. The shell fish, mixed fabric, mixed seeds, working on sundays all that. But no...all that is non applicable except being gay. I feel bad for DH's brother because I don't think he has anyone in his family to turn to. I don't want to be overly "oh you can share with me I'm on your side" because I think it might embarrass him but I've told him I'm his sister and he can tell me anything and it's between us.

An argument DH made one time about his brothers sexuality was..."My brother isn't gay, it's just that women don't give him attention, but men do so he get's with men sometimes." I said that makes no sense...using that same logic, if neither men or women are giving him attention but our son is...what is it ok for that to happen? Your trying to rationalize his homosexuality and it's just not making sense...he's gay accept it and move on!

Sorry this was long but it just upsets me especially when your family doesn't accept your views or sexuality.

[christidee]

It is the opposite in my family. My parents are über conservative. My mom posts political right wing crap on Facebook all the time. Sometimes I just want to go all crazy on Facebook and like Gary Johnson and post libertarian stuff just to get a rise out of her.....

You shouldn't be flamed for your beliefs. Uuugh. Just try to change the subject.

[dojo]

Sept 20, 2012 12:17:56 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I am really nervous about seeing a friend of mine again after calling out everyone who posted pics of themselves at CFA on CFA appreciation day. I was most disappointed in her pic b/c I thought she was more liberal than our other mutual acquaintances. My mom is on FB too, and I know she saw my comment, but she hasn't said a word about it.

A lot of my extended family is racist, and it's hard listening to them when they get together. I am so non-confrontational irl, so I usually don't say anything, but I know I'm going to have to speak up now that I have J.

My family is fairly open and accepting, but occasionally my mom or dad will make a comment as a joke or to rile me up. I just can't keep my mouth shut. If its a joke and me one laughs, I flat out sy there's nothing funny about it.

[lookafteryou]

Sept 20, 2012 12:23:51 GMT -5 @pcloadletter said:

I was always one to just sit back and let things pass, but now that I have kids I can't either. My family throws out the R word like it is going out of style and the last time he visted my brother kept saying Owen looked like Rain Man. We were in a restaurant and I nearly lost my shit. I've called my mom out on it too. I realized that I don't want my children hearing that and thinking it is ok to say. I also don't want them to think that I'm ok with people bashing gay people.

I'm really unsure how I'm going to handle this because mine and H's families are both anti-gay and semi racist. I'm such a wimp about confrontation irl, but I definitely want ds to know that's not right. I will definitely be talking to him about just because someone we love says something doesn't make it right, but I feel like I should actually say something to them in the moment too.