Post by covergirl82 on May 22, 2019 8:21:06 GMT -5
Dear sales team,
When you give me bad data, and then expect me to calculate accurate commissions off of said bad data, and then complain when the calculations are not right, it's your own fault. Garbage in, garbage out. I have no access to your systems to do any audits, so I (unfortunately) have to rely on what is sent to me. I don't deserve the level of rudeness and distrust I'm receiving from you.
You were up bright and cheerful at 5 AM for your first practice. I hope this continues.
Signed , surprised
Dear DS
Now that you are working, you can't come home every afternoon and take a 2 hour nap. You need to go to sleep earlier. Vicious cycle and all that.
Signed, this may be a long summer
Dear DH,
Yes I said you were being dumb, that is what we do. We joke around. You say stuff about being stupid all the time. Now you decided that makes you mad. Maybe a heads up next time. I am about tired of you being set off every few months and being blindsided as to why.
I thought DH's work parties were bad with their random themes. We have a 25th anniversary party tomorrow. It's the only big event this company has thrown since I've been here. There's no dress code listed anywhere. But we were told to make sure we "dressed accordingly." WTF does this mean? I've heard "business plus" (whatever that is), and when I mentioned I'd dug up my old suit and that it still fits, the person I was talking to thought it meant cocktail dresses, etc. I'm annoyed.
Dear XH, I find it hilarious that you told me I can't "play the default parent card" anymore. Did you bring them to some appointments while you were unemployed? Sure. But I am responsible for picking up our kids on YOUR custody days because you got a work schedule that conflicts with all childcare available. I am the one who gets them from care, feeds them dinner, makes sure homework is done, and then you roll in to grab them just in time for bed. You are also unable to bring them to any appointments due to this work schedule. Yet you insist on booking extraneous appointments that are then my problem to manage. Also, I literally pay for everything, as that's the child support agreement we came up with. Including your health insurance. So... I think that means I am the default parent. I think I get to play that card whenever I damn well please. Your 50/50 parenting is a load of BS. Signed, Ready to put you on blast
Dear boss, I may lose my damn mind during my one on one tomorrow. Am I getting a promotion? Am I being groomed for one? Are you just trying to see how much I can take? Because my workload is insane and you keep adding more and bringing me to senior leadership meetings. I need to know what the heck is going on so I can cope appropriately. Thanks, Me
You literally have no financial responsibility and barely any parenting responsibility and yet somehow think it's ok to complain about twinmomma and that she defends her position as the default parent?
Dear DH, I wasn’t saying you couldn’t take the kids to the pool party this Friday to be mean or something. The party is in two weeks. You can’t take them because there isn’t a party this Friday night. Please stop freaking out about a weekend alone with an 11 year old and 7 year old. They are SO EASY if you aren’t a basket case.
Wife who can’t wait for the beach with the 15yo
Dear 15 Year Old Boy, Telling a girl that she can’t tell anyone you are dating does in fact make you a player, when you are still flirting with another girl and the girl you are dating is not going on the first summer trip with you but the girl you are flirting with is. Your parents need to help you navigate this stuff. You are hapless. It’s not your fault. It’s pretty funny to watch except for the fact my daughter is still pining for you. Get it together dude. Amused but ferocious mom
Dear germs, Please vacate the premises. DH and I were sick last week and now DH might have tonsillitis. Now DD has the same weird virus with fevers, chills, runny nose and really sore throat. I hope you spare the boys.
Dear DH, You are useless when you are sick. Sleeping on the floor while I am trying to work from home as three kids are running around is not helping me. I'm the one keeping the house together, getting up with DS2 the past 3 nights, and lying awake as you toss and turn all night. And I haven't taken one sick day from work. I'm exhausted and need you to do something (anything!) even though you don't feel good. I was just as sick as you and I'm still managing everything. Sincerely, I'm losing my patience with you PS - you are not dying. Quit whining and get your ass to the dr for some antibiotics!
Dear DS1, Stop growing up so fast! I can't believe you are done with preschool and will be going to kindergarten in the Fall! Signed, Teary eyed momma
I hope you had luck finding a hotel. I sent you an amazing option, and I hope you booked it. As the saying goes, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!”
Love, Hostess with the Mostess
Dear DH-
Make some goddamn plans for your friends this weekend. I WILL NOT have them all flopping around my house all weekend. I’ve made approximately 7,528 suggestions. Pick a few and go somewhere.
Dear twinmomma, XH When twinmomma decided to take you back to court you are going to get screwed. She not only is the default parent but in anyone's eyes custodial full time parent. Picking kids up in time for bed and dropping them off the next morning isn't parenting. Team Twinmomma
Dear DD I really hope you are not getting sick. The baby spit up thing this morning was weird. No fever, no aches, no upset tummy, sore throat, just a I really don't want to go to school today and can't we both stay home and have a snuggle day was more than normal. Sign Suspicious mom
Dear WP, His solution to my emotional "this is not sustainable" text rant this afternoon? "Well, I'll just pick them up every night instead of just some nights." How is that in any way better?! So then I get ZERO quality time with my kids, only the parenting BS that happens between school and bed time ever day? And my kids literally never know when to settle down and have a steady routine because dad rolls in right before bed time to scoop them up? Signed, WTF.
twinmomma, what does the custody agreement/ visitation schedule say? It sounds like it was originally written that he was supposed to pick them up from aftercare and have them for that evening. If he cannot do that then I suggest (unfortunately more lawyer money) that it be re-written to match what is actually happening or maybe just he do the every other weekend and half the holidays. I don't see how you picking them up every night and having them until 8 or whatever and then him picking them up to sleep works out. Especially if you then have to go pick them up from him and do the morning stuff to get them to school or before care (whatever the set-up) since he can't do that either (I'm assuming). He probably doesn't want you to have primary/ majority custody because of $$ reasons, but at the end of the day that is what you are actually still doing and always have because he can't be counted on to do what is best for his kids. Sorry he sucks so much.
twinmomma, plus he wants to show that he has the kids so many nights as that is how IRS figures out if you can claim the kid as a dependent, HOH status, and all those nice credits. All the IRS cares for this is where the kid spends the night. So he could pick them up at 10pm and drop them back off at 5am and it counts as he had them for the night. I think it is time to have custody realigned to what is actually happening. If XH can't pick them up and care for them himself in the evenings then he needs to just have them on the weekends or holidays as it isn't fair to the kids. I really mean XH care for them not have MIL or the girlfriend pick them up and plop them in front of the TV until 8 when he comes home or can pick them up from whoever and I would make that a big point if you are going to spend the lawyer money anyways.
Dear School I signed DH and I up for alternate volunteer hours tonight so that 1. someone could go pick DD up from practice, 2. one of us could always be with our 7 year old. Putting us in for both hours and being each other's relief from said job just sucks. Plus I got the we don't have enough help and thank you so much when I questioned it yesterday. Hopefully when I get to school to help set up I can get someone to cover my popcorn shift for 30 minutes so I can get DD from practice otherwise I guess you will just be short staffed as DD can't drive herself. Frustrated volunteer
twinmomma - ignore his delusions. If he can’t get the children on his CO time they stay with you. You do not have to accommodate him. He may then choose to have someone else pick them up from aftercare (girlfriend) but if you have ROFR you can deny that. You have to ignore his thoughts/opinions/preferences/emotions and straight up do whatever is best for the kids. If you focus totally on best schedule for the kids and not quality time with either parent it will eventually get easier. I bent over backwards for the first 18 months, then I realized no one was happy. Even getting what he wanted exh was not happy. So don’t please anyone. Do what’s best, not what the kids, you or exh want.
For me, the most uncomfortable thing was extended weekends where exh had a sitter when he worked on Saturday. That ended when it was no longer best for the kids - after one sitter cut DD’s hair to the roots at the front of her forehead, another lost 3 year old DD and thought she might have wandered over to the golf course. She was found as I arrived 1.5 hours after being notified and the girls came home with me because exh wasn’t there and I wasn’t leaving them with the sitter who lost DD. Try things and they may not work, but as long as what you try isn’t prohibited by the CO you can try anything.
Post by erinshelley21 on May 23, 2019 11:30:34 GMT -5
twinmomma he is more ridiculous now than he has ever been. I wouldn't hesitate to take him back to court at this point. The amount of child support needs to be recalculated if he has a new job. I'm guessing your custody agreement and support were agreed upon when he was a teacher. I would hope that he took this different job with the stupid schedule because it was an increase in pay. If not, he is a lost cause and you are a saint.
I'm basically stuck waiting it out for the summer so that it gets worse first and then I have more leverage. That was my lawyer's advice for now. As for child support, he doesn't pay anything. I worked a deal that I just pay for everything myself instead of paying him support. So I don't see that changing anytime soon. Which means for the foreseeable future, I'm stuck with the bulk of parenting responsibility and the joy of seeing his face every.damn.day when he shows up at my house. Ugh. I have to just keep reminding myself that he always sucked, so there's no reason for him to get better now.