Two things Tuesday

[bullygirl979]

This board is dead. Tell me two things...about your weekend, randoms, who cares.

[bullygirl979]

1) my pupster got diagnosed with a life-threatening immune disorder when she was a year and a half. For those of you who remember, I spent 3-4 months nursing her back to health. Well, last Tuesday she had a relapse. The week was a whirlwind of multiple blood transfusions, doggy hospital stays, etc. She has made improvements since Saturday and we go to the vet tomorrow to check her blood counts. Crossing fingers they are good.

2) I went a little stir crazy over the weekend as I basically didn't leave the house so I made the Chrissy Tiegan banana bread recipe. I have to say, I'm really impressed with her cookbook. Every recipe I've made out of it thus far is a winner

[doglove]

Oh no bullygirl979 - is Nora okay??

[bullygirl979]

doglove, I'm hoping so. She isn't out of the woods but she is making improvements. She is a lot sicker than she was the first time around. Her blood counts were single digits (they should be 40, minimally) so she needed two transfusions. She also vomited incessantly and couldn't eat or drink. So she needed IV fluids and IV meds. She's soooo skinny right now. Thankfully, I talked with her vet and we agreed to try her on Zofran to help with the puking. Thus far she hasn't thrown up since Saturday. She also is acting like she has a lot more energy, which is good to see. I'm hoping this trend continues.

[mags]

(((((bullyandnora)))))

1. Danilo got a 4 month fellowship in PARIS for his Phd work!!! All expenses paid. When he returns he will accept a position at UMASS to complete his Phd. I think im more excited than he is!

2. I may have to book a trip to Paris in the fall

[cleo29]

Well, my weekend was ok. Sunday was my anniversary, so that was a little odd. H and I have been talking a lot, really how we should have been talking two years ago, so it is good but also confusing. I am learning, yet again, that you never how you will feel until you are actually in that situation.

I had to see LBW, the other woman, at the pool on Sunday which made me lose my appetite. Her parents were there, but her husband was not. She also drove by my house twice, the first time pretty slow, and the second H and I were sitting on the porch talking, so I am sure she loved that. She has also been posting a lot of woe-is-me type posts on twitter. There is absolutely no ownership in anything. The fall out of her actions is still someone else's fault. It it truly astounding. How H fell for her game is still bewildering to me because she honest to God is not a nice person. She can put on a good act, but at the heart of it, she is not nice.

So, what else? Enjoying my book The New Monogamy. While it deals with the aftermath of an affair, I do think there is a lot in it that could help any marriage and it is an easy read. She also has books When You're The One Who Cheats and Getting The Sex You Want. I believe her therapy practice focuses on sex and couples counseling.

I leave for FL on Friday. This will be the first time I am traveling alone for a pleasure trip in a long, long time. I am almost nervous. lol Looking forward to some FL sun and time on a beach.

[bullygirl979]

mags, good for him! (And you! I love Paris)

cleo29, I hope you have a wonderful trip.

[neonpink]

bullygirl979, hugs bully

mags, That is fantastic!!! Congrats to him.

cleo29, Have a great time and people who post on social media their "oh sad me" irk me. My SIL and BIL do it all the time they need to end it and move on. They just keep fighting and fighting and it is so not good for their kids.

1)I had only drove my car twice this weekend. I was on food or bike for everything else and have put 100 miles on my bike since I bought it May 5th.

2) My brother threw a BBQ this weekend and I got to hang out by a pool. It was amazing. My brother's bf had his friends over too and they worked on Stranger Things and I really wanted to talk to them about all the design work for it. I didn't. I was cool. Nobody wants to talk shop on their days off.

[doglove]

Hope she continues to get better bullygirl979.

My two things:

1) I got a BFP last week. I told A I wanted him to put a baby in my belly for my birthday - we’re both pretty shocked it worked the first time. Super excited overall, I just didn’t think this would happen for me. Please don’t mention it if you are my fb friend - we’ll wait until end of July to be out of the safe zone before we announce.

2) I am so sick and exhausted all the time because of number 1. I cried for two hours yesterday for no reason before I went to bed at 3pm. Super fun times. I just hope the crappy part of all of this is over by the time we go to Ireland, at which point I should be at 9-10 weeks.

[bullygirl979]

doglove, AHHHHHHHHHH! CONGRATS! That is so exciting! And thank you

[kaneen]

Congrats doglove, that is so exciting!!!!

Hugs to you and Nora bullygirl979. I hope she continues to get better.

That is SO cool mags!

My weekend turned out awesome. The holiday snuck up on me. I didn't even realize it was a three day weekend until last Wednesday so I hadn't actually made any plans but stuff just fell into place. Saturday my contractor came over to go over some finishes. After we were done with that he mentioned he was going to hear a friend DJ at a rooftop bar and invited me to join him. I initially was going to say no because I had plans Sunday I needed to be up early for but then decided what the heck so I went. It was down in the touristy section of town so lots of fun people watching and it was also cool to hang out on a rooftop bar and have some drinks/food. Sunday I went out on my girlfriend's boat with her and her kids. We anchored on a disappearing island until high tide and then took the boat to a waterfront restaurant for a late lunch/early dinner. Yesterday my mom came over to borrow some clothes for a trip she's going on and we walked on the beach and got caught up. Then I went with her and my Dad to a beach front hot dog place for dinner.

Now back to work...

[cleo29]

doglove, sending all good vibes your way. Try to keep food in your stomach at all times, so lots of little snacking, rather than waiting to get really hungry. i lived on baby carrots, fuji apples and salads in the first tri. Whatever sounds good eat. Oh and before you get up in the morning, before even stepping out of bed, east a little something sweet like sugary cereal. The blood sugar drop in the mornings can add to morning sickness, so getting a little sugar in your system can help.

[doriswe]

bullygirl979, sending all my prayers to NJ!

mags, so awesome!!

doglove, yay!!! Congrats!

1. There was a thing with R yesterday but we reconvened later in the day and talked through it. I'll be honest, I'm not sure I've ever felt heard like that and I think we were both able to really identify the root of the issue.

2. DD moves into her own place on Saturday and I am super excited about getting her out of my house! She's filthy lol!

[downtoearth]

bullygirl979, hope your pup gets good bloodwork news.

doglove, Congrats! The fatigue is real the first month or so.

cleo29, maybe I'll read that book - asked you questions in the other thread, but sounds like it's different than her Ted talk.

My randoms:

1. I am disappointed in myself this morning. Because I am sad after a weekend alone - my first without kids since STBX moved out. I think it's just sentimentality meeting a long weekend without having my kids or my person to connect with - and getting used to not having kids arounds. Damn me for being an chatty extrovert who thrives on talking and connecting with others as "fun."

2. I did a lot this weekend, but didn't get everything done. I worked out 3 times, hiked with the dog, had two nights out with girlfriends, went to dinner at my parents, a movie with my sister and her friend, spent about 14 hours removing wallpaper, cleaning kitchen, then painting the whole kitchen and all upper cabinets. Still have about 4 hours of painting left. Now I want to paint my lower cabinets and the doors and I know that will be even more work... and I don't have ready for that yet, so I have to wait a bit to do that project. I really wish I could spend $$$ and just change my kitchen, but I am being responsible and so time is better spent putting cosmetic changes.

S/O Anyone bored and want to search for a kitchen rug? Indoor/Outdoor would be best to keep it clean and mostly not white/light would be ideal. I need some color in my mostly white kitchen now and want to cover the ugly flooring. It's not a major renovation, just cleaned up. And I am not done painting the backs of the uppers black and then everything else is white.

[tiramisu]

Sending you and Nora all the hugs and good vibes bullygirl979

mags that's great news! And what a sacrifice, maybe having to go to Paris also

HOORAY doglove and congratulations!!!! So happy for you and A! <3

cleo29 it sounds like you handled things well. It does sound like a mindfuck to finally be talking the way you have.

downtoearth it's okay to feel what you're feeling after your first weekend without the kids! You still did a lot and you'll adjust with time.

[tiramisu]

My two things:

1) Today I'll finally be doing my training at the station to which I'm assigned, which means I can take all the crap I've been schlepping with me everywhere and put it all in my shared office!

2) I was very lazy this weekend and it was glorious. I didn't go to the flash mob because I recognized that I needed to just sleep and let myself start getting better. It's amazing how much antibiotics help! It's like I know my body and knew what I needed all along.

3) I've been back on online dating and an already questioning why. I've come up with an opener I really like, asking them the best compliment they've received. Some responses let me know to unmatch immediately ("it's bigger than I expected") and one guy decided to try to invalidate the compliment I shared when he reciprocated the question, because it came from a kid. So at least it's helping me weed them out quickly.

[cleo29]

tiramisu, i wish we had been able to talk this way before, but I think there was fear on my part of pushing him further into the direction of not wanting to be with me and had been taking things I said either as personal to him or not as I intended at all and now he is really hearing me.

[downtoearth]

May 28, 2019 11:41:35 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

downtoearth it's okay to feel what you're feeling after your first weekend without the kids! You still did a lot and you'll adjust with time.

Thanks - It's messed up that I miss STBX the most when kids are gone. I am so used to having kids gone so STBX and I could have date weekends or nights. Just in December we had a great two days alone skiing and having dates/drinks, alone time in the house ( )while the kids were with grandparents, so it's weird for me to not have special time with "my person" when kids aren't around and to just be alone in my house or errands/hikes for like 8 hours on end. I love hearing that all of this changes and gets easier.

* I put "my person" in quotes b/c although it was great for me, my STBX was already having an affair and giving Christmas presents to his person for like 8 months before our last date weekend.

[doglove]

May 28, 2019 10:49:22 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

doglove, sending all good vibes your way. Try to keep food in your stomach at all times, so lots of little snacking, rather than waiting to get really hungry. i lived on baby carrots, fuji apples and salads in the first tri. Whatever sounds good eat. Oh and before you get up in the morning, before even stepping out of bed, east a little something sweet like sugary cereal. The blood sugar drop in the mornings can add to morning sickness, so getting a little sugar in your system can help.

Thank you - I’ve realized it’s worse when I go a few hours without eating. Strangely, I’m at my best and not sick when I first wake up so I try to get all the things done before I start to go downhill energy wise by lunch.

Thank you everyone ❤️❤️

[smock]

Congrats, doglove!!!!

No joke, I went to bed at 7-7:30pm a lot in first tri. Instead of morning sickness I had evening sickness, so it was easier to just go to bed, lol. Plus, exhaustion.

What's your due date?

[doglove]

May 28, 2019 12:59:56 GMT -5 smock said:

Congrats, doglove!!!!

No joke, I went to bed at 7-7:30pm a lot in first tri. Instead of morning sickness I had evening sickness, so it was easier to just go to bed, lol. Plus, exhaustion.

What's your due date?

I’m in bed pretty early most nights (by 8ish) because I have late day/night sickness for sure. Blech. By my calculations it’s probably January 31st.

[mags]

May 28, 2019 14:40:08 GMT -5 doglove said:

May 28, 2019 12:59:56 GMT -5 smock said:

Congrats, doglove !!!!

No joke, I went to bed at 7-7:30pm a lot in first tri. Instead of morning sickness I had evening sickness, so it was easier to just go to bed, lol. Plus, exhaustion.

What's your due date?

I’m in bed pretty early most nights (by 8ish) because I have late day/night sickness for sure. Blech. By my calculations it’s probably January 31st.

Feb 2nd!

[mags]

May 28, 2019 11:03:50 GMT -5 doriswe said:

bullygirl979 , sending all my prayers to NJ!

mags , so awesome!!

doglove , yay!!! Congrats!

1. There was a thing with R yesterday but we reconvened later in the day and talked through it. I'll be honest, I'm not sure I've ever felt heard like that and I think we were both able to really identify the root of the issue.

2. DD moves into her own place on Saturday and I am super excited about getting her out of my house! She's filthy lol!

Mixed bag when they leave....so many good things....and a couple not so good

[tiramisu]

May 28, 2019 11:48:41 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

tiramisu, i wish we had been able to talk this way before, but I think there was fear on my part of pushing him further into the direction of not wanting to be with me and had been taking things I said either as personal to him or not as I intended at all and now he is really hearing me.

I'm sure it's easier for you now because there's not so much weight on the outcome. Even more so, I'd imagine he's probably being more open, instead of hardening his heart towards you like he was doing before, to allow himself whatever level of dalliance he was having. His shift is probably the biggest factor in being able to have more productive conversations. I'm glad you're able to at this point.

[cleo29]

May 29, 2019 11:45:37 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

May 28, 2019 11:48:41 GMT -5 cleo29 said:

tiramisu , i wish we had been able to talk this way before, but I think there was fear on my part of pushing him further into the direction of not wanting to be with me and had been taking things I said either as personal to him or not as I intended at all and now he is really hearing me.

I'm sure it's easier for you now because there's not so much weight on the outcome. Even more so, I'd imagine he's probably being more open, instead of hardening his heart towards you like he was doing before, to allow himself whatever level of dalliance he was having. His shift is probably the biggest factor in being able to have more productive conversations. I'm glad you're able to at this point.

It has been eye opening how many times he took things I said not only the wrong way, but personally. So, that is something. He is in therapy and they will be working on this and his need for validation that became more of an issue the past two years, but really got worse with him mom's ALS diagnosis and learning it is genetic. So, that is a lot to deal with.

I am glad we are talking. I do feel hopeful, but that is scary too. So, i will keep reading my book and we will go into therapy together too.

[spindle92]

Hugs for those who need them and High fives for the others!