I know I haven’t been here long, but I know many of you from other boards and a lot of you from the last time I was here with dd, so I wanted to say goodbye.
We have confirmed that our ds has trisomy 18. The results came back as high risk on our Panorama and a consultation with a specialist this morning confirmed it via u/s. We also did a CVS to cover all bases, but there were plenty of markers on the u/s to show that this is incompatible with life. The signs were so clear, it really even showed that it is incompatible with further pregnancy. If he did survive to birth, the odds are overwhelming that he would suffer and pass shortly after. We will TFMR.
We are obviously devastated, and that might just be the biggest understatement of my life. I bounce around between disbelief, wanting to hang on, and wanting to be done so that we can begin to heal. I know deep down that this is the most compassionate thing we can do as parents. I know some might not choose this road and I find myself thinking that perhaps they are stronger than I am. But eff that noise. There is nothing weak about this gut wrenching decision. I cannot let my child suffer, and I cannot let my 2 yr old watch me proceed with a pregnancy, only to lose her sibling. That is just not a lesson I want to teach her right now. I am doing the only thing I can do to protect both of my children. I know several women on these boards have been here, and lord is it a shitty club to join.
Best of luck to all of you and your sweet babies. I might decide to rejoin one day, but for now I need to say goodbye to ds and heal.
Oh friend, I am so sorry. My heart truly breaks for you and your family. FWIW, I think your choice takes incredible strength so do not for a second think otherwise. Wishing you peace and sending love ❤️
Oh clseale. I'm so so sorry to hear. To any extent that I can imagine, I think I would decide the same thing under these unimaginable circumstances. You're putting your kids first -- that's selflessness. That's all I see. All the internet hugs to you and your family.
Post by KellyEasterbrook on May 31, 2019 20:14:33 GMT -5
I’m so so very sorry. Exactly one year ago, we made the same heart wrenching decision after a terrible anatomy scan that led to numerous meetings with specialists all over the state. all started each conversation with the phrase, “ I’m so sorry — you have three options and they are all terrible.” It was, and still is, the most traumatic experience I’ve been through, but I’m so f$&king relieved that she never knew pain. You are sparing your sweet child suffering, and that is a selfless act of love. Please be kind yourself, especially over the next few weeks. Sending lots of love your way— it’s a f@&king terrible thing to go through. And just not fair.
Oh @cseale my heart is breaking for you! I'm so sorry. You are such a strong person (so is your H) for making such a tough decision and I'm sure you are doing the right thing. I know that doesnt make it any easier though keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.