2. 47 hours until induction! I almost had to have one Friday, so I'm very glad to put it off until Wednesday when my OB will be at the hospital. I just ordered a ton of baby stuff -- tub, diaper bag, diapers, changing pad, etc. I hope I'm not jinxing anything.
3. For mom's who have previously given birth -- If you had an incompetent cervix or bicornuate uterus, how long was your labor?
4. Not too many -- most of my friends are done having kids. And we have one family member who has had three kids in the time it's taken us to have one successful pregnancy. Gah, I really want to bring a baby home from hospital this time.
I am so excited for your induction! That probably sounds really creepy coming from an internet stranger, but I remember how it felt when my DD finally came out crying, after so much loss and a high risk pregnancy, and it was beautiful. I want the same for you.
I had an elective c-section, so no idea how fast my labour would have been.
Post by dreamcrisp1 on Jun 3, 2019 23:35:59 GMT -5
stellelinds25, at my anatomy scan, they saw that my placenta is low lying and covering my cervix. They were unconcerned and we don’t check again until 31-32 weeks because as you grow, the placenta can move.
chocolatepie, sometimes it doesn’t take that long but if baby is super active or they can’t get some shots, it can take a while to measure everything as they usually keep trying. Mine was like an hour or something because he was moving so much.
Post by stellelinds25 on Jun 4, 2019 6:56:21 GMT -5
chocolatepie we had ours yesterday and I believe we were there for about an hour. The actual ultrasound itself took about 25 minutes, then we had to wait for the dr to review everything and come in...he always does his own images too. But it depends how the practice is set up and how well baby cooperates!
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Just got back from our babymoon. Very relaxing to get away! This morning I went and got my Rhogam shot. Also, I got a call while I was away that I need to do the 3-hour GD test. I go for the test tomorrow morning. Also, I'm mildly anemic so I started iron pills. Lots of fun going on here.
Rant: My mom made a comment to me this morning that "even if you pass the 3-hour test you should eat a healthier diet. No sweets and only whole grain carbs." I replied with "You should do the same then too". Like wtf?!? My parents are hardly super healthy freaks. I'm pregnant. If I pass the test I'm going to KOKO with my life. Ok? Thanks. For the record, while my diet isn't perfect I do eat relatively healthy. Can I cut out some of the sweets? Sure...but so can most people. Also---GD HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DIET. IT'S ALL HORMONAL, BUT CAN BE CONTROLLED BY DIET. I DIDN'T DO THIS TO MYSELF!!
3. Questions for the group? Nope.
4. Do you have many friends and/or family who are also pregnant now? My SIL is pregnant and due about 7 weeks before me. Otherwise, most of our friends are done. A few had their second kids earlier this year though. My sister is TTC so that's super exciting. I hope it happens for them soon.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? Ugh, this second pregnancy thing is so much harder than the first. The nausea was worse (or not really any worse but the difference was last time meds helped and this time the same meds might as well have been tic tacs). And now at this point I’m so much more tired than I was last time, the reflux is worse and I’ve developed problems I never even had last time - varicose veins. Starting with vulvar varicosities and now they’re all down my leg. Awesome.
3. Questions for the group?
4. Do you have many friends and/or family who are also pregnant now? Nope. I guess that’s what years of infertility leads to. I’m 38 and DH is 43. All our friends are done having babies, including my friends that are a few years younger than me. We are both the youngest in our families so our brothers are done. I have no cousins/extended family so nothing there.
3. Any recs for BFing apps? I used one called Baby Nursing last time, but didn't like that all data was stored locally so if I entered it on my iPad I couldn't see it on my iPhone (and vice versa). I have Ovia right now, but interested in any other suggestions.
4. My two BFFs both had overlapping pregnancies with mine. One delivered her #2 about 6 mo. ago and just went back to work, the other is due with #1 in October. It's a cascade of maternity and baby clothes.
chocolatepie , yeah... they measure every individual part and it takes forever, especially if baby isn't 100% cooperative. I think it's kind of fun to watch for a good while though.
miamigirl , I wore this in the hospital and found it comfortable and easy for nursing and for nurses to work around. I got it in a navy dot in case of bleeding, but that ended up not being an issue. I bled a lot less this time than with my first. I just threw a cardigan on when I had visitors. I liked not having sleeves because I had a lot of hot flashes. www.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=422176022&cid=1072910&pcid=1023948&grid=productSearch_65_90_1
1. DD1 came 4 weeks early and is now almost two weeks old. 2. Still in NICU but she graduated to an open crib this morning from the isolette. Sounds like Friday would be the earliest possible discharge date. 3. How do I thank the NICU nurses? They've all been wonderful but we meet new nurses every day. There's a few that we see consistently but they all help each other and cover each other during breaks/ shift changes. 4. My oldest is 8 so most of our friends with kids have kids around that age. Most closed the door to more kids a few years ago so we are the only with a newborn. DH's sisters have high school aged kids or older and my sister is firmly OAD so no more kids in our immediate famlies. We are done at three, but man snuggling this newborn makes me want more!
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? still dealing with spotting that started last week. it comes and goes, had turned mostly brown (TMI, sorry), but last night got a gush of red. called the OB this am, but already have appt scheduled tomorrow morning, and it's back to brown and slowed down today, so they said just keep it planned for tomorrow. anatomy scan the week after that, at 20 weeks exactly. i've got 2.5 weeks until summer break, so just trying to take it easy as best i can and make it through.
3. Questions for the group? not now
4. Do you have many friends and/or family who are also pregnant now? my sister had her baby the day after the pregnancy was confirmed, so technically we were pregnant for about a month together, lol. SIL just had her baby a few weeks ago. there were a bunch of co-workers who had babies this spring, but i think i'll be the first to have a baby next school year.
1. How far along are you this week? 33w6d. Gulp. We've got a lot to do still.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? I'm 99% sure I'm having some BH contractions, especially in the evenings. They're just uncomfortable, but funny considering I didn't have these with AJ.
3. Questions for the group? Nope!
4. Do you have many friends and/or family who are also pregnant now? A few friends, J's cousin's wife who is due a week before me, and two of my cousins' wives are due a few months after me (and a week apart from one another, which is funny because cousins are siblings).
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? I just keep telling myself 3 more days (4 nights) max is all I have to do. How I’ll pass the time idk 🤷🏻♀️ now 5cm dilated and 100% effaced so I’m feeling confident about an induction. I’m not sleeping well so I’m hesitant to walk a bunch and make myself even more tired though.
3. Questions for the group? Funny shows or movies for me to binge the next few days ?
4. Do you have many friends and/or family who are also pregnant now? No
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? I ran my half marathon last weekend and was pleasantly surprised by how well I did. I had been training by myself and my last few long runs felt pretty awful with lots of walking. But my sister ran the race with me and ran with me the full time, it made all the difference in the world to keep me moving! I think I am also starting to feel baby kicks - it feels like a mix of popcorn popping and muscle spasms; I've debated whether it is in fact actually kicks but it feels much more like it is this week. So that's fun
4. Do you have many friends and/or family who are also pregnant now? We have a friend that is 37 weeks now so her baby girl should be here anytime. And I also just found out that my coworker who sits right across from me is expecting and is about 1 month behind me. My best friend is doing IVF next month so I am really hoping that is successful for her!
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? I have a lot of stressful things going on right now and pregnancy just makes me want to eat my feelings and cry.
3. Questions for the group? I don’t think so.
4. Do you have many friends and/or family who are also pregnant now? My whole neighborhood is pregnant it seems. My good friend is due in December with #3 as well.
Post by sunflower17 on Jun 4, 2019 20:36:59 GMT -5
I’ll play for the first time....
1. How far along are you this week? I’ll find out on Friday at my ultrasound. My OB guessed about 7-8 weeks on exam.
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? H seems sort of ok, but sort of in shock/denial with our surprise pregnancy. It’s still registering for me and doesn’t seem quite real yet.
3. Questions for the group? Not at the moment.
4. Do you have many friends and/or family who are also pregnant now? No one close to me, but like 6 coworkers. Last pregnancy, there were 9 of us pregnant at the same time.
Post by stellelinds25 on Jun 6, 2019 7:24:50 GMT -5
Question...I contacted my insurance to get an idea on what they cover for breast pumps. I've heard great things both here and from friends about Spectra, so that's the brand I was hoping for. I can get the S2 for free and the S1 for an $18 upgrade fee. Does anyone have any recommendations about one vs the other?
after seeing the OB yesterday AM, and being worried about the bleeding, she decided to move my anatomy scan up a week, called the MFM docs and got me in that afternoon. so, anatomy scan complete! definitely still a boy, lol, he showed off his parts right away. everything with baby looks fine, but i've got a SCH that's just sort of hanging out there. she kept saying i was a "really interesting case". at least now we know the source of the bleeding. she's not worried about the baby or the placenta, he's right on target size wise, so he's getting everything he needs, but we are going to keep monitoring it. i go back in 3 weeks for another scan to check in on it.
Post by goodygumdrop on Jun 6, 2019 11:09:24 GMT -5
1. How far along are you this week? 40+6
2. Pregnancy-related AW/vents/randoms for this week? I lost a bit of mucus plug yesterday so I am hopeful things are starting to move! If not I have an induction scheduled for the 12th and can get a stretch and sweep on the 10th if he hasn't come yet to hopefully avoid the induction. The midwife commented that he was very low yesterday so I am hopeful that even though this is my first he will not make me labor for days when he does decide to come.
3. Questions for the group? Nope
4. Do you have many friends and/or family who are also pregnant now? I have two friends locally that are pregnant with the 2nds. I have also met so many ladies who are due when I am or have already given birth in the prenatal exercise classes I have been taking.
Post by chocolatepie on Jun 6, 2019 13:29:49 GMT -5
Did anyone NOT have family/mom come stay with you the first few weeks after birth? My DH gets a generous paternity leave, we are both pretty private (no one even knew about the fertility issues/IVF until we announced - not even our parents), and neither of us enjoy having houseguests. We're old, been married forever, and set in our ways. Our dogs are old, too.
All of our family live states away so we anticipate having to suck it up and host people eventually but have asked for no houseguests/extended visitors the first several weeks after baby arrives. The thought of people being in my small house while I struggle to breastfeed, figure out sleeping, help my dogs adjust, heal myself, etc sounds like hell.
My mother is the MOST unhelpful person ever and she has no boundaries. My tolerance for her when I feel great is low so I can't imagine what post-birth hormones would do. My DH's tolerance for her is probably even lower. She just started the guilt trip over having her come when the baby is born - all the reasons why, how she can help, yada yada. I told her no thank you.
Then I was whining to a friend about her guilt trip and my friend said that I may think we'll be okay on our own but that new fathers usually freak out when the baby arrives and become incredibly unhelpful - which is exactly what hers did. And I might appreciate having her there. But her DH told me he checked out because her mom was there and did everything and he wasn't needed. So... not sure if that was his public excuse for acting like an ass or reality. Maybe both?
STMs, did your DH melt down and become useless? I just can't imagine mine doing that... but it's unchartered territory. Is having a 3rd person at the house immediately after birth REALLY a must? Or can the 2 of us make it work? I mean, we can hire a baby nurse if things go to hell, right?
chocolatepie H is a rock star in the postpartum period. He takes on a ton of extra work around the house, makes sure (annoyingly so) that my mental state is good, does what he can MOTN, etc. Don't let your friend scare you.
chocolatepie my family is local so I don’t have the overstay their welcome issue. That being said, most of them just swooped in and out for 2 hour visits where they weren’t helpful, but more of a nice quick distraction.
DH stayed home with me for 1 week after DDs birth and then had to return to work due to limited vacation time. He was pretty helpful, but needed me to give him lots of direction that week. He would do whatever I asked though, and I think he changed 90% of the diapers (I had a bad tear and was fairly laid up). The week after that, my Mom came to help for one day and then I was on my own during the day. DH did come home early as he was able to, which helped a lot in those first few weeks, since some days it was very difficult to get dinner on the table while nursing or dealing with the screaming child (she was a hellion from 5-9pm every night until about 9 weeks).
chocolatepie With our first my mom came for about a week (we were abroad with no family and few friends). She’s a huge help though - cooking meals, doing laundry, doing nights with the baby. DH was shellshocked and unhelpful - and he was more than happy for my mom to take charge.
With our second DH took on taking DS1 while my mom again helped with keeping the house running and the baby. I had a much tougher recovery so the help was much appreciated.
With number three - who came early and we are going on two weeks in the NICU - my parents have been invaluable. They have basically taken my two boys and kept them on their school/activity schedule so I can be at the hospital with baby.
Unhelpful guests I have no problem asking them to come later like my MIL. Also don’t feel bad suggesting guests stay at a hotel.
Did anyone NOT have family/mom come stay with you the first few weeks after birth? My DH gets a generous paternity leave, we are both pretty private (no one even knew about the fertility issues/IVF until we announced - not even our parents), and neither of us enjoy having houseguests. We're old, been married forever, and set in our ways. Our dogs are old, too.
All of our family live states away so we anticipate having to suck it up and host people eventually but have asked for no houseguests/extended visitors the first several weeks after baby arrives. The thought of people being in my small house while I struggle to breastfeed, figure out sleeping, help my dogs adjust, heal myself, etc sounds like hell.
My mother is the MOST unhelpful person ever and she has no boundaries. My tolerance for her when I feel great is low so I can't imagine what post-birth hormones would do. My DH's tolerance for her is probably even lower. She just started the guilt trip over having her come when the baby is born - all the reasons why, how she can help, yada yada. I told her no thank you.
Then I was whining to a friend about her guilt trip and my friend said that I may think we'll be okay on our own but that new fathers usually freak out when the baby arrives and become incredibly unhelpful - which is exactly what hers did. And I might appreciate having her there. But her DH told me he checked out because her mom was there and did everything and he wasn't needed. So... not sure if that was his public excuse for acting like an ass or reality. Maybe both?
STMs, did your DH melt down and become useless? I just can't imagine mine doing that... but it's unchartered territory. Is having a 3rd person at the house immediately after birth REALLY a must? Or can the 2 of us make it work? I mean, we can hire a baby nurse if things go to hell, right?
Would love your insights!
Well my dad did come stay with us for two nights when DS was a week old (so a few days after we came home from the hospital) but that was mostly to see DS. He did cook dinner those two nights but only because he loves to cook. I don’t think he helped us very much (he also wasn’t a problem) but we didn’t really need any help. And my mom and stepdad came a week after my dad so when DS was 14 days old. They also stayed two nights. I think mom also cooked dinner but that was more to help with houseguests (like to offset the “problem” they caused by coming) not to help us with DS.
We might have my mom come stay with this time but only because we need someone to look after DS while we go to the hospital.
DH certainly didn’t melt down and become useless and we really didn’t need any help. I’m sort of struggling to see what they would have helped us with to be honest since I didn’t find it to be that difficult.
chocolatepie -- we didn't have anyone stay with us for the first month, and it was fine. DH was amazing. he did more work than i did, for sure. it was really important bonding time and i think, set the tone for us as a family of three moving forward. were there tough moments? absolutely. was it worth it to be able to be ourselves in our own space and figure out this gigantic new adventure called parenting on our own? absolutely. we wanted to be able to do things ourselves, make mistakes, figure things out, find our groove all without our mothers butting in or trying to tell us what to do. we figured even if we had either of our moms there to help, we would eventually have to learn how to do it on our own, so we just wanted to start that way. plus, our moms advice is quite dated. my MIL put big, fluffy blankets in the crib with our 4 month old the first time she babysat and really refused to listen to any of our points that 'things had changed' and just because she did something with her kids doesn't mean it's safe anymore.
chocolatepie you know your family best. Don’t let your friend scare you. My mother sounds like yours and having her here causes great stress. The first two kids she was here before birth, and then immediately after. This time I asked her not to come until 2 weeks past my due date. I need time to get used to being a family of five without her here. It caused some drama between us but I had to stand up for what I wanted especially knowing how stressful it was having her here before.
Post by farfalla2011 on Jun 7, 2019 9:58:44 GMT -5
chocolatepie Not a STM, but I'm planning to do similar. DH will likely be at home with me for the first week or so, but then head back to work and then take his actual leave (he gets 4 weeks) probably around the time I go back to work to push out our child care start date. My mom has offered to come down, but I had a very direct conversation with her that I'll figure out when I'd like her to come once we get settled in at home. I have 2 step children that we'll have to coordinate around and a dog that isn't exactly easy around new people which will be an adjustment being that the baby will come home and not leave. The thought of more change initially sounds absolutely terrifying until that newness settles down.
Be confident in knowing your relationship and what you need. Worst case, you can start getting settled in and then open that door to visitors if you find out you need it. But, I'm guessing it won't be a big issue.
Did anyone NOT have family/mom come stay with you the first few weeks after birth? My DH gets a generous paternity leave, we are both pretty private (no one even knew about the fertility issues/IVF until we announced - not even our parents), and neither of us enjoy having houseguests. We're old, been married forever, and set in our ways. Our dogs are old, too.
With DD (#1), we didn't have anyone stay with us until my parents visited 10 days later for Thanksgiving. We are also pretty private, and I preferred to settle in as a family of 3 and figure out BFing without people staring at me or wanting to hold my baby.
With DS (#2), my dad was staying at our house, taking care of DD for us in the last days when we were afraid I'd go into labor MOTN, and then while I was being induced and in the hospital. H stayed overnight with me the first night (Sat), but came home Sun night to see DD and help my dad get her ready for the school week. I was discharged Monday AM and my dad headed home Tuesday. When all was said and done, he was really good about being here for what we needed and then giving us space.
My ILs are local and have made short visits (I think MIL is coming today) but local visits are a totally different story than having houseguests.
All of our family live states away so we anticipate having to suck it up and host people eventually but have asked for no houseguests/extended visitors the first several weeks after baby arrives. The thought of people being in my small house while I struggle to breastfeed, figure out sleeping, help my dogs adjust, heal myself, etc sounds like hell.
My mother is the MOST unhelpful person ever and she has no boundaries. My tolerance for her when I feel great is low so I can't imagine what post-birth hormones would do. My DH's tolerance for her is probably even lower. She just started the guilt trip over having her come when the baby is born - all the reasons why, how she can help, yada yada. I told her no thank you.
Then I was whining to a friend about her guilt trip and my friend said that I may think we'll be okay on our own but that new fathers usually freak out when the baby arrives and become incredibly unhelpful - which is exactly what hers did. And I might appreciate having her there. But her DH told me he checked out because her mom was there and did everything and he wasn't needed. So... not sure if that was his public excuse for acting like an ass or reality. Maybe both?
STMs, did your DH melt down and become useless? I just can't imagine mine doing that... but it's unchartered territory. Is having a 3rd person at the house immediately after birth REALLY a must? Or can the 2 of us make it work? I mean, we can hire a baby nurse if things go to hell, right?
MH did not melt down. He was much more helpful starting right in the delivery room than I anticipated. With #1 we had a NICU situation and he did not stay with me, which I regret in hindsight, because I needed the support. He went home to the dogs, who our neighbors totally could've covered for us. But that was my fault for not vocalizing (or probably realizing) what I needed. At home he's not as adept as I am at diapering, etc., since I do it a lot more, but he's willing to do anything I ask and ultimately gets it done.
Bottom line -- if you don't want house guests, don't feel pressured to host them. Your home, your baby, and you guys can do this.
chocolatepie , my parents came down the moment I was admitted to the hospital (5 hour drive) and they let themselves into our house to take care of the dog. They visited the hospital for short periods of time. I was admitted on a Tuesday and released Friday. My parents stayed at our house until Tuesday. One thing that was nice was the minute I got home I basically handed my mom the baby and went to shower and nap. By Tuesday I was very ready for them to go home. I had a c-section and was still able to get around the house ok. My H also went back to work on Tuesday. Fortunately, his job is really flexible if something came up. I'll agree with your friend that my H was pretty useless at first WITH THE BABY. He was extremely helpful in making sure I was well fed and the dog was take care of. You don't need anyone else even if your H does become useless. LOL.
Tell your family you'll let them know when you're ready for visitors. Don't cave to the pressure to host them. I found being home alone with my baby the best actually since I could nap when he napped, etc. Also--no one could help me breastfeed.
ETA: Also--I had a million people tell me before DS arrived that I'd change my mind and want my parents there, blah, blah. No...like I said, I felt most at ease home alone with my baby trying to figure things out.
Post by lovelyshoes on Jun 7, 2019 18:15:00 GMT -5
chocolatepie you don’t need anyone and your h will be fine, you’ll delegate to him. With my first everyone wanted a piece of us not was incredibly overwhelming and in the long run made me much more tired and worn out. It was a dark time mostly because of all the unsolicited advice and people sitting around which didn’t allow me time to rest. My parents are very helpful, but I wish we just stayed alone. This time around I told everyone I don’t need anything and it has been so much better. I walked/walk around topless and bf, relax if I get a chance (haha that’s almost never), but most important I don’t have anyone just sitting there staring at me with unsolicited outdated advice. My mil came once and her sitting there giving me advice and asking a million questions drove me insane. I’m so happy I’ve kept everyone away. You two will be fine and knowing that you depend on him will give your h something to do so he feels a part of the process as he should be. You have waited long for this, be comfortable.