FB page for significant others?

[piper84]

You all have been so helpful in answering all my questions. Thank you!

Here's another question for you...

H is at AF OTS. They have a FB page for all the OTs but there is not yet one created for the significant others. Others who have spouses that have gone through OTS in the past had told me it was helpful having a FB page dedicated to the SOs, especially for things like travels plans and graduation week.

Have you ever been a part of a FB page for SOs (whether it was for OTS/OCS/training or anything else)?

Also, who usually starts these pages? Is it as easy as starting it myself and telling H to relay the message to his class so that they can tell their SOs? Or is this a bad idea and something I should not pursue?

Thanks!

[beans]

I have never been a part of a FB page for sig others. Just this forum, which is not really just for that anyway. I probably wouldn't start one, and would maybe join if it were something helpful for information like on a deployment.

FTR I personally think it would be weird to start one up, but I also don't know the culture around training and stuff like that. So maybe someone else might have a differing opinion.

[amaristella]

If I remember correctly there was a board on one of those popular military spouse/dependent websites that was just for DH's OCS class. I lurked a few times just to see what they were talking about but I never posted because the bad PERSEC practices were absolutely out of control and I didn't know how not to go in all guns blazing about it. At the end of the day their postings were seen by the instructors who made sure to take it out on the guys so.... anyway....yeah.

[piper84]

Thanks for your feedback, ladies!

After thinking about it more, it's probably best that I don't start the FB page so I'm not responsible for any potential issues!

[crimewatcher]

Our current base has a bagillion facebook pages. I am part of one for the Squad, the Officer Spouses and general spouse page. I could really just keep the Squad one but the for work it's helpful to have the others.

[amaristella]

Sept 20, 2012 16:17:31 GMT -5 @piper84 said:

Thanks for your feedback, ladies!

After thinking about it more, it's probably best that I don't start the FB page so I'm not responsible for any potential issues!

Maybe you can just add people as friends individually that way you can still talk to them and not be "responsible" for anything. Would that work?

[meltoine]

The spouses in H's UPT class made a page. We used it all the time - people who needed a last minute babysitter, party planning, general Q and A, etc.

[basilosaurus]

Our frg has a page. We had a private yahoo group for spouses in Japan. Neither had much action.

I don't think there was any spouse support for H's training. I think only 1 person in his flight was married anyway. This was a mere few months after college, afterall. And it was in 2 phases in different locations, so I think less than 1 year each place.

But, hey, start a page for the group. You can make it private and invite only to cut down on some of the privacy concerns. And then you might be in the running for a special spouse award:)

No, really, they had a spouse award for SOS which is only like a month long (I didn't go). It kind of made me laugh.

[beachy]

There are tons of FB pages in our area. There are several different ones people made for the base, then each command has several, some official and some not. Some are definitely more helpful than others.

If you did choose to start one just be careful. We have had issues at our command in the past where wives started a page using the ship's name and photo, and then did a lot of trash talking about the command, FRG and Ombudsmen. Many people thought they were an official page and got very confused. Those spouses involved with the page got in trouble, their sailors got in trouble, and there were threats of legal getting involved because of the unauthorized use of the command name and photos.

I ditto the rec about just meeting the wives and adding them to your personal FB page and go from there.

[piper84]

Since this is OTS, we (the spouses) aren't all at OTS with the potential officers. We are all at our own homes while our guys are at OTS... so I don't think there would be anybody doing trash talking (since we aren't involved yet with the AF). That being said, I'm not able to meet any spouses right now... it would have to be through FB only, and then the FB page would be deleted in December (OTS graduation). I've heard the FB page is helpful for planning for graduation week, and I was thinking it might be a nice way to pass the time during these 13 weeks that we're all without our spouses.

[basilosaurus]

Wait, am I reading this correctly? You're trying to connect with people who aren't local? Why?

Presumably b/c you're not AF yet, you're living in a place of your choosing with your local friends. Enjoy that because you might not get it for a long time!

I have no experience with OTC since H did ROTC, but he had a similar length training class, and not a single spouse engaged with anyone else since we were all at our home locations (I'd just move to a new country, too). To engage with a spouse of a classmate I've never met and probably never will meet, idk, just seems odd.

[piper84]

Sept 20, 2012 18:41:53 GMT -5 basilosaurus said:

Wait, am I reading this correctly? You're trying to connect with people who aren't local? Why?

Presumably b/c you're not AF yet, you're living in a place of your choosing with your local friends. Enjoy that because you might not get it for a long time!

I have no experience with OTC since H did ROTC, but he had a similar length training class, and not a single spouse engaged with anyone else since we were all at our home locations (I'd just move to a new country, too). To engage with a spouse of a classmate I've never met and probably never will meet, idk, just seems odd.

haha, yes. It does seem odd. I agree. Kind of odd and also kind of creepy? I think my question is answered

[basilosaurus]

Yeah, kind of creepy, too

Can I ask how old you are? I assume the 84 in your name is birth year. If so, be prepared to be a lone spouse/"old" person during UPT. I don't know for this year, but I think generally only about 20% of slots are filled with OTS. The others come from the academy and ROTC, the vast majority of whom will be 22ish and unmarried. I just looked at some of H's pictures, and they all look so young!

[piper84]

Sept 20, 2012 19:49:58 GMT -5 basilosaurus said:

Yeah, kind of creepy, too

Can I ask how old you are? I assume the 84 in your name is birth year. If so, be prepared to be a lone spouse/"old" person during UPT. I don't know for this year, but I think generally only about 20% of slots are filled with OTS. The others come from the academy and ROTC, the vast majority of whom will be 22ish and unmarried. I just looked at some of H's pictures, and they all look so young!

You guessed it! I'm 28 and so is my H. H was selected for a pilot and I believe they told him he was "old" and needed an age waiver

We just had our first baby 2 months ago. I'm hoping that having a child will help me make friends. I'm currently the majority breadwinner (work as an engineer in the SF Bay Area) and will be quitting my job... I think my entire world is about to be turned upside down... career-wise, location-wise, friends-wise, money-wise.

Looking forward to the adventure but also extremely nervous!

[amaristella]

Enh. It probably varies from class to class. DH's OCS class was about 50% married or otherwise involved. The class directly after him though was bunch of single party animals. It really just depends.

[basilosaurus]

amaristella, I'm referring to UPT likely being younger with fewer married people just b/c there's a lower proportion of the generally older OTS.

Oh dear, piper, you're definitely in for a shake-up. Moving from the bay area to some podunk base is just going to be the beginning. I wish you all the best!

[amaristella]

Oh, okie doke. No idea what UPT is, or forgot...

[basilosaurus]

Stands for undergraduate pilot training AFAIK, it's pretty rare to get a slot coming from OTS since most are reserved for the direct out of college route, so that's why I was thinking it would skew younger.

From H's stories, they studied hard and partied hard, and he said they were a relatively tame flight.

[piper84]

Sept 20, 2012 21:27:21 GMT -5 basilosaurus said:

Oh dear, piper, you're definitely in for a shake-up. Moving from the bay area to some podunk base is just going to be the beginning. I wish you all the best!

haha. Thank you so much! I am definitely going to keep an open mind and try to embrace all these changes