FWP

[doriswe]

Help me navigate my current first world problem...and then share yours


My older brother lives in Taiwan and has for a number of years. He's a very self-absorbed human being. He always has been. He was here a few months ago and we had dinner and he talked about himself the entire time, with the exception of him asking me something about "your son." You know, my 15 year old with a real name that he's had all 15 of those years? Ugh. Anyway, my mom has gone there in the past and raved about how awesome it is. She's booked a trip there in January and both my mom and my brother are encouraging me to go. The roundtrip flights are less than $800 right now. I'd stay with my mom in an apartment she can rent for next to nothing. My brother has a car, so I'd really only need money for food. My mom is great, but also incredibly passive aggressive and can get really hard to put up with in large doses. 


This is probably a once in a lifetime sort of opportunity, but I'm still hesitant for the above described reasons. What would you do? 

[downtoearth]

Hmmmm - I guess I would probably go just to visit Taiwan, but know that it wasn't going to be an amazing family adventure with your self-absorbed brother and passive-aggressive mom. Can you help plan the adventures you have, so at least you don't get stuck sitting around the apt/rental and having to just chat all day?

Mine FWP is that I am bored at work still - just need more work and haven't had much success recently in finding it - or having others give it to me. I am still getting paid, and my boss doesn't seem freaked out, but I am bored and can't imagine another couple months like this. I keep wondering if I should start looking at other jobs in the evenings or just bug my one boss more... or just relax and not worry.

[neonpink]

doriswe, $800 to get to that part of the world is super cheap. I'd probably go and plan some solo adventures. Food on the ground will be cheap/awesome and exploring another country solo is pretty awesome. Have a few dinners and some time with them and head off on your own too.

FWP I am annoyed by my husbands parents. They obviously have a favorite kid out of the four they have and it is not my husband. This past weekend they came down (2.5hr drive) to see my BIL's new house and said they would come and see us afterward. We had prior plans with my family whom they have met for a pool party/bbq. We haven't seen either of our parents since July. Half way through the party, he got a call that they canceled on us. It's another event in a very long series of events with them but it is always something like this and my husband always gets forgotten.

He woke up on Sunday and said It sucks when your parents so obviously favor a kid. We are adults but it still hurts and it bothers me that they treat him like this. We got a text from his mom at noon that Sunday saying "I'm so sorry we couldn't meet up." sure you are. if you really wanted too. you could have. ​I haven't texted her back because I don't want to be rude and I feel like being rude.

(Another example is one Christmas when everyone was opening up gifts, his parents gave the other 3 kids thoughtful gifts and a legit gag gift to my H. He was so hurt that we left and drove home as soon as it made sense to do so.)

[bullygirl979]

doriswe, how long would you go for? Do you think you can deal with your family for that long? I agree with everyone else that if you do go, I would plan some solo adventures for some sanity.

neonpink, that sucks. FWIW, I know how you feel because my H is the same with his mother. He is clearly not the favorite and she often engages in passive aggressive tactics when we see her.

[bullygirl979]

Mine is TRULY a FWP. With our kitchen remodel we are knocking down a wall to join two rooms. There was a small hallway leading to the back room. Back room was done in hardwoods which we were NOT looking to replace, hence we had to buy a small amount of flooring to patch in that area. Just found out they are discontinued. I found one place that claims they can get it...I'm CROSSING all my crossables this works out because I just don't want to pay more $$ to either refinish those floors or buy new ones.

[neonpink]

Oct 1, 2019 8:20:23 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Mine is TRULY a FWP. With our kitchen remodel we are knocking down a wall to join two rooms. There was a small hallway leading to the back room. Back room was done in hardwoods which we were NOT looking to replace, hence we had to buy a small amount of flooring to patch in that area. Just found out they are discontinued. I found one place that claims they can get it...I'm CROSSING all my crossables this works out because I just don't want to pay more $$ to either refinish those floors or buy new ones.

That sucks  Finger's crossed you can find it.

When I redid my kitchen I knocked down a closet and did a fingers crossed they could feather flooring that was under my existing oven and that closet to make it look complete and they did. Otherwise I would have had to redo my wood flooring on my main level and a hallway. Ugh. 

[doriswe]

Oct 1, 2019 8:17:43 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

doriswe , how long would you go for? Do you think you can deal with your family for that long? I agree with everyone else that if you do go, I would plan some solo adventures for some sanity.

A week. But figure two of those days would be flying. I worry about language barriers if I fly solo, but I could probably just point and smile lol

[bullygirl979]

Oct 1, 2019 9:00:09 GMT -5 doriswe said:

Oct 1, 2019 8:17:43 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

doriswe , how long would you go for? Do you think you can deal with your family for that long? I agree with everyone else that if you do go, I would plan some solo adventures for some sanity.

A week. But figure two of those days would be flying. I worry about language barriers if I fly solo, but I could probably just point and smile lol

You can always look on Airbnb for "adventures". I would assume if people have postings in English, they would speak it. You can always look at tour groups, too.

[bullygirl979]

Oct 1, 2019 8:30:06 GMT -5 neonpink said:

Oct 1, 2019 8:20:23 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Mine is TRULY a FWP. With our kitchen remodel we are knocking down a wall to join two rooms. There was a small hallway leading to the back room. Back room was done in hardwoods which we were NOT looking to replace, hence we had to buy a small amount of flooring to patch in that area. Just found out they are discontinued. I found one place that claims they can get it...I'm CROSSING all my crossables this works out because I just don't want to pay more $$ to either refinish those floors or buy new ones.

That sucks  Finger's crossed you can find it.

When I redid my kitchen I knocked down a closet and did a fingers crossed they could feather flooring that was under my existing oven and that closet to make it look complete and they did. Otherwise I would have had to redo my wood flooring on my main level and a hallway. Ugh. 

I ended up calling the manufacturer and the woman I spoke with said it is NOT discontinued. Uhhh ok. Not sure why the flooring place said it was? I let the contractor know and he's going to order it from somewhere else today. Really hoping the woman was correct....I know I'll feel a lot better when it's actually shipped. LOL.