Looking for advice

[kaneen]

Or looking for tips and tricks.  Not sure?  But here's the deal...

So I've noticed lately that I get myself all spun up over what "might" happen or what "could" happen.  I'll imagine all kinds of scenarios and will try to determine my reaction to each.  It's exhausting and honestly, not valuable.  I'll use my renovation to provide an example.  I was over there yesterday and noticed two things that I was unsure of.  One was additional construction that had to be done that turned out differently than what I'd expected.  I woke up at 3am thinking about it and trying to determine what I wanted to do about it.  I literally lay there for three hours thinking, "well, if I do x and they say y then I'll say z".  I must have gone through a crazy number of possible variations of that conversation in my head.  Needless to say, I never went back to sleep.  The other thing I was spun up about doesn't really matter necessarily - hopefully you get the gist of the problem with the one example.

I go over there today to do a walk through and both things I was worried about are absolutely fine.  The construction I expected to be different is actually better given her explanation and what will still be completed.  There was no reason to get all worked up.  If I'd just waited and gotten the facts and then dealt with them, I wouldn't be so effing tired today.

Step 1 is identifying the problem.  How do I fix it?!?!?! 

[tiramisu]

Oh hello, anxiety. It sucks. One thing you could try is telling yourself "I don't have time to worry about this right now, I'll write it down for later" and then do that. Sometimes writing it out really quickly as something to come back to can help you move on. It's something I'd assign as homework to someone after also talking with them about mindfulness, relaxation, etc. Mindfulness will help you identify when your thoughts are starting to turn anxious. Then you consciously shift your attention away from the thoughts to something else (like noticing your breathing, feeling the air/breeze against your face, etc.).

There are lots of CBT worksheets out there for worry/anxiety that could be helpful. There's a book I love, but I don't know if you feel like you need to go that route yet if it's just starting to be bothersome. It's called "When Panic Attacks" by Dr. David Burns and it's not only for panic disorder, but all types of anxiety.

If it's mostly happening at night, there are apps that I love that help me fall asleep/fall back asleep. Check out the Andrew Johnson Hive Brain apps. My favorites are Deep Sleep and Confidence.

[doglove]

This is me as well, worse now with a baby on the way! I either try to redirect my mind or I think of what would be the absolute worst case scenario in the big picture of my life and how it would affect my well being and happiness. That seems to help. Although when not pregnant with exercise limitations - running would be my outlet and I would also take Xanax to help because sometimes our brains are just built a certain way and no amount of yoga, running, redirecting helps.

Sorry if this isn’t helpful, but I understand completely. Solidarity hugs.

[bullygirl979]

I would also recommend looking in to CBT, as well. Also, it sounds like of silly but sometimes I can't fall asleep because I think all the things. It really helps writing them down so I don't forget (which is a worry) and then when I need to shut my brain off, I will say to myself 'stop. You're okay' and I repeat this until I feel better.

[kaneen]

Oct 22, 2019 12:21:08 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

Oh hello, anxiety. It sucks. One thing you could try is telling yourself "I don't have time to worry about this right now, I'll write it down for later" and then do that. Sometimes writing it out really quickly as something to come back to can help you move on. It's something I'd assign as homework to someone after also talking with them about mindfulness, relaxation, etc. Mindfulness will help you identify when your thoughts are starting to turn anxious. Then you consciously shift your attention away from the thoughts to something else (like noticing your breathing, feeling the air/breeze against your face, etc.).

There are lots of CBT worksheets out there for worry/anxiety that could be helpful. There's a book I love, but I don't know if you feel like you need to go that route yet if it's just starting to be bothersome. It's called "When Panic Attacks" by Dr. David Burns and it's not only for panic disorder, but all types of anxiety.

If it's mostly happening at night, there are apps that I love that help me fall asleep/fall back asleep. Check out the Andrew Johnson Hive Brain apps. My favorites are Deep Sleep and Confidence.

Could you share with me where to find CBT worksheets?  I'd imagine you of all people could point me to the best ones. 

I will definitely check out the apps too.  It is for sure mostly at night.  I'll wake up to go to the bathroom or something, a thought will hit me, and bye bye sleep.

[kaneen]

Oct 22, 2019 12:43:43 GMT -5 doglove said:

This is me as well, worse now with a baby on the way! I either try to redirect my mind or I think of what would be the absolute worst case scenario in the big picture of my life and how it would affect my well being and happiness. That seems to help. Although when not pregnant with exercise limitations - running would be my outlet and I would also take Xanax to help because sometimes our brains are just built a certain way and no amount of yoga, running, redirecting helps.

Sorry if this isn’t helpful, but I understand completely. Solidarity hugs.

I play that trick with myself too!  I figure if I can safely deal with whatever the possible worst case is, I'm good to go.  The problem I'm having recently is imagining ALL THE SCENARIOS.  That's what gets me all spun up.

The solidarity hugs help too!

[kaneen]

Oct 22, 2019 13:03:19 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

I would also recommend looking in to CBT, as well. Also, it sounds like of silly but sometimes I can't fall asleep because I think all the things. It really helps writing them down so I don't forget (which is a worry) and then when I need to shut my brain off, I will say to myself 'stop. You're okay' and I repeat this until I feel better.

I journal in the mornings as a way to kind of "center" my day if you will.  I wonder if keeping my journal by the bed so I can write stuff down when I can't sleep would help too.  

Sometimes I think I'll need to make my sister make me a death bed promise that she'll burn my journals without reading them when I die.  The shit you'd read in those things!  

[doriswe]

I agree with the others and will add, I can spin out pretty good at night, and will grab an anxiety or sleep mediation on youtube and focus on that. Spinning thought? Yeah, I see you, but I'm going to get back to focusing on this mediation. Over and over until I'm passed out. If it's really bad, I listen to it with headphones, because that seems to help me stay in the present better.

[neonpink]

I am really bad about thinking about things and what-ifs. I listen to audio books to fall asleep to keep my mind on something else I listen to things I've read before so I don't have to worry about missing the story.

[megkat]

Honestly? For me, medication has done wonders. I used to get so fixated on things that I could spend literal hours worrying about them (either, like you’ve described, imagining the “what-it’s” OR I would replay past scenarios over and over in my head and replay what I could or should have done differently). I’m now on 20mg of lexapro, and I don’t spend HOURS obsessing anymore. The thoughts will still enter my head, but I’m more able to dismiss them, or remind myself to wait for all of the facts.

[tiramisu]

Oct 22, 2019 14:23:59 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Oct 22, 2019 12:21:08 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

Oh hello, anxiety. It sucks. One thing you could try is telling yourself "I don't have time to worry about this right now, I'll write it down for later" and then do that. Sometimes writing it out really quickly as something to come back to can help you move on. It's something I'd assign as homework to someone after also talking with them about mindfulness, relaxation, etc. Mindfulness will help you identify when your thoughts are starting to turn anxious. Then you consciously shift your attention away from the thoughts to something else (like noticing your breathing, feeling the air/breeze against your face, etc.).

There are lots of CBT worksheets out there for worry/anxiety that could be helpful. There's a book I love, but I don't know if you feel like you need to go that route yet if it's just starting to be bothersome. It's called "When Panic Attacks" by Dr. David Burns and it's not only for panic disorder, but all types of anxiety.

If it's mostly happening at night, there are apps that I love that help me fall asleep/fall back asleep. Check out the Andrew Johnson Hive Brain apps. My favorites are Deep Sleep and Confidence.

Could you share with me where to find CBT worksheets?  I'd imagine you of all people could point me to the best ones. 

I will definitely check out the apps too.  It is for sure mostly at night.  I'll wake up to go to the bathroom or something, a thought will hit me, and bye bye sleep.

www.get.gg

They have a ton of free downloads that I've used over the years.

[chalupa]

Another professional-level what-if'er here. Ditto what others have said about writing down a worry and telling myself I'll address it tomorrow/in the morning/whatever. I'm great at inventing scenarios that never even come to pass!

I'm also a big fan of meditation - I like the calm app for their guided meditations (10 min/day) and for their sleep stories. Half listening to a story while I'm falling asleep is much better for me than recapping my day, replaying my last awkward conversation with someone, etc.

[mags]

Funny how all of us have the same exact problem!?

I am 100% stay awake all night worrying about stupid shit....example what kind of cupcakes should I bake for party will keep me awake for hours~ More serious things for days.

I was sleeping every other day for months. Horrible horrible shit.

I tried so many things, meditation, cbd, white noise, melatonin, oils etc..

finally after 6 months of no sleep I had to do some ambian...best thing I ever did. I go right to sleep and stay asleep through night. miracle drug for me.
It has made a huge difference in my life.

Lexepro has also been a HUGE help in the past when I had anxiety 24/7

[gault]

Here to commiserate. I have a set pre-bed schedule that helps me wind down and calm my mind a bit, and i take trazodone which is a life saver.

[kaneen]

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. So helpful and also helpful to not feel alone!

Um, can I also add that I moved back in to my place today and HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS PLACE IS AMAZING!!! Next GTG here.

[tiramisu]

Oct 25, 2019 20:29:41 GMT -5 kaneen said:

Thanks for the suggestions everyone. So helpful and also helpful to not feel alone!

Um, can I also add that I moved back in to my place today and HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS PLACE IS AMAZING!!! Next GTG here.

Ummm, yes please!!