I decided to switch play date dinner date which is now cancelled as our friends our sick. The plan is to go do zoo lights with SIL, BIL, and 4yr nephew Saturday. Sent SIL a text asking what time works for them. DH wants to make it a big day trip and I'm leaning towards just going up for the get together. I got a response back from SIL saying "well its supposed to rain a lot so I need to get back to you". Argh!!!
We have a huge for us thunderstorm rolling through right now. I love them but DD and the dog both hate them so I'm worrying about both of them and can't do anything about it since I'm at work, the dog is home alone, and DD is at school.
Post by supertrooper1 on Dec 12, 2019 14:38:40 GMT -5
I met with a financial advisor yesterday. He knocked on my door a month ago and then called last week to set up an appointment. Normally I would have declined but it's something I needed to do and he works for a reputable company. He was impressed at how prepared I was with all of my printouts and said most people require 2 or 3 meetings. We did worst case scenario models because I still could lose half of my 401K and things still looked on track. I ended up setting up a 529 for DS.
This is on top of getting an email from my former manager about my pension calculations. I was advised that I would lose my 1.7% LEO benefits and my time in service would drop back to 1%. I debated taking this job because of that, but I decided that was the only thing holding me back in the end. Someone else is leaving for a non-LEO position and HQ told him that his LEO time would be calculated at 1.7%. I'm not confident, but I can hope that's the case for me too!
Post by traveltheworld on Dec 12, 2019 14:56:15 GMT -5
DH's contract, which was originally scheduled to end at the end of this month, got extended to end of February! I'm really hoping that the longer he's there, the higher the probability of getting a permanent position.
We went to DD's pre-school Christmas concert yesterday and I had a nice chat with her director and teachers. They raved about how she is kind, funny, engaging, and very smart and advanced for her age. It made my heart happy. She's my "easy" child, and sometimes I feel bad that her intelligence and wonderfulness gets overlooked because her brother is so demanding.
My puppy got kennel cough from daycare and has been excluded from daycare until next Monday. I NEED him to go back to daycare like last week!!!
I quite literally have nothing to do at work today and I’m bored to hell.
I need this semester to end so that DD1 can’t do any more damage to her grades. I really don’t know how she’s going to manage high school next year. I KNOW I need to step down, but I just can’t when she’s still not just doing what she’s supposed to. I’m ready to just keep her phone permanently and give it back to her when she turns 18 and isn’t my problem anymore. She’s a good kid, just can’t seem to do all her work and turn it in on time. She can’t multi-task like at all and gets super focused on whichever class has the most interesting assignment to the detriment of the other 6 classes with assignments. Deep breaths! I’m not ready to have both a new high schooler and a new middle schooler next year. I likely won’t survive.
Post by covergirl82 on Dec 12, 2019 15:01:44 GMT -5
I had a phone interview Tuesday afternoon for a new job. Same work I'm doing now, different company. The recruiter liked me enough to set up a phone interview with the hiring manager for late Monday afternoon. This job would be with the company that DH left (on good terms) in May, so I'm familiar with a lot about the company, including their pay and benefits. I believe I could get nearly a 10% pay increase, would be eligible for an annual bonus (which I don't have right now), and would get better 401k match (minimum 6%, plus a target of 3% for profit sharing). But...I don't think I'd be able to WFH regularly or have my 9/80 schedule (although I haven't asked), so I'd need to weigh that if I receive an offer. However, the higher pay and bonus would enable me and DH and pay down our debt more quickly.
Does anyone have any advice on how to ask about flex schedules during the offer stage? I just wanted to be prepared if it gets to that point.
covergirl82 , I would just ask about the schedule generally in the interview and see if they mention anything. If they do, then I would ask questions to get more details.
If they don't I think I would save more detailed questions for a second interview or try to negotiate something after the offer. It doesn't sound like a deal breaker for you per se, but a nice to have. So I wouldn't want them to not pick you because they think you want to work from home and they don't offer that. But if you can negotiate something, I know that would be nice.
My re-entry from vacation this week has been rough in terms of work and work travel. And the gazillion things to do outside of work. I don't know when everything is going to get done.
We told the kids and our families about the pregnancy. And then our kids told their entire school. I'm crossing my fingers that we can keep it from work and off of social media until after our anatomy scan and my year-end review. DD is handling the fact that it's another boy better than we expected. It reinforces our decision to find out early from the blood test (we didn't find out the sex of DD or DS2 before birth, and didn't find out DS1's until the anatomy scan). She said "you wanted to find out this time so that I wouldn't cry when I met the baby again, right?" My mom told DD she would be the "queen bee" of the kids and she loved that and latched on to it. We let her facetime everyone in the rest of the family to tell them and she has also loved that. DS1 hasn't really said much about the baby - he's a thoughtful kid and I think he's still processing. DS2 doesn't seem to have any idea what's going on (he turns 2.5 on Saturday).
Beau and I had a pretty serious conversation the other night about where we're headed, what's next, etc. It kind of caught me off guard because it was a last minute visit where I just stopped in on my way home to say hi. And all of a sudden it turned into something major.
He basically said "Whatever you want this to be, fast, slow, keep it the same, meet friends and family, don't meet friends and family, you tell me what you want. I'll do anything you want because I don't want to lose you."
So. Whoa.
Along with all that, I finally opened up a little about ExH and the affair but didn't get into a ton of details yet and he shared more about his Ex too. We both agreed to discuss it more another time when we had more time to get into things.
Next step is we're going to figure out a time to get our kids together and introduce them/us. Poor guy does not know what's going to hit him when my two roll in and start grilling him and tag teaming on the twin stuff.
Post by librarychica on Dec 12, 2019 15:41:11 GMT -5
@mrsgreeko, TTMA doggie daycare. We have a 10 month old puppy and she is insane. Even with multiple walks a day. I’m looking into them. Have you had a good experience? Seen any improvements in behavior?
@mrsgreeko, TTMA doggie daycare. We have a 10 month old puppy and she is insane. Even with multiple walks a day. I’m looking into them. Have you had a good experience? Seen any improvements in behavior?
It’s a godsend! We have an almost 8 month old Weimaraner and his going to daycare is the only thing that makes is possible to live with him through the puppy stage!
He’s been going since he was 4 months old. When he got fixed at 6 month he couldn’t go for 2 weeks because of the stitches and even with the drugs that gave us to keep him calm I was counting down the seconds until he could go back.
He did get kennel cough (not dangerous just annoying and contagious sort of like how colds go through kids in kid daycare) right before thanksgiving so I guess that can happen. They do vaccinate for the most common kennel cough strains, but apparently there’s like 25 strains. I cannot wait until Monday when he goes back!
On daycare days he comes home in the afternoon and is so chill and pleasant to be around. On days he doesn’t go to daycare it’s just constant mischief in the evenings. It definitely makes his behavior better because he’s worn out. Even 2-3 long fast walks don’t wear him out like daycare does. Do it, you won’t regret it!
DD1 was angry with me because I caught her in a lie this morning, so she announced that she knows I’m the Tooth Fairy. In front of her little sister. Who hasn’t even lost a tooth yet. I gave her all the reasons why she was wrong, and she kept escalating and yelling louder and louder that YOU ARE THE TOOTH FAIRY!!! DD2 just say there, wide-eyed.
So, that’s awesome. I’m just waiting for her to ruin Santa for DD2 as well.
@mrsgreeko - has your DD had a neuropsych eval? She sounds a lot like my DD1- very bright, can’t organize, will read and do vocabulary and ELA forever, zones out with science. She was diagnosed with ADHD, no hyperactivity, just focus issues. She has been able to get by so far because the work isn’t hard yet, but middle school is going to hit her like a brick wall. She’s on meds now and her habits have improved slightly at home, but the teachers have noticed a big difference in school.
@mrsgreeko - has your DD had a neuropsych eval? She sounds a lot like my DD1- very bright, can’t organize, will read and do vocabulary and ELA forever, zones out with science. She was diagnosed with ADHD, no hyperactivity, just focus issues. She has been able to get by so far because the work isn’t hard yet, but middle school is going to hit her like a brick wall. She’s on meds now and her habits have improved slightly at home, but the teachers have noticed a big difference in school.
She hasn’t but I don’t think that’s the issue, and no teacher has ever even remotely brought that up as a possibility. I think it’s the constant distractions of the damn phone. I’ve tried to set up limitations and such, but it’s a freaking full time job. She just wants to be social all day every day and do the fun assignments and say screw it about the assignments that aren’t fun. It’s very much teen attitude with her right now. Man do I love parenting a teen, it’s so super fun. Oh wait, nope it’s not.
DD1 was angry with me because I caught her in a lie this morning, so she announced that she knows I’m the Tooth Fairy. In front of her little sister. Who hasn’t even lost a tooth yet. I gave her all the reasons why she was wrong, and she kept escalating and yelling louder and louder that YOU ARE THE TOOTH FAIRY!!! DD2 just say there, wide-eyed.
So, that’s awesome. I’m just waiting for her to ruin Santa for DD2 as well.
When my kids found out about all those things, thankfully, they asked me in private (probably because I wouldn’t discuss it with them at all if there were little kids around). I made sure to explain to them repeatedly that they were not to ruin the magic for anyone else. It was like our little secret that they knew and they weren’t to discuss it with anyone else unless they knew 100% that the other person already knew. I also explained to them how disappointed they would have been to have the magic ruined for them.
Sounds like a good night to talk to her privately about not ruining the magic for younger kids. That sounds awful though, to be put on the spot like that in front of the younger one.
I was loaded for bear Monday morning ready for my boss. She started to say something about us volunteering at her event and I just said I'm not comfortable for me or my staff in that situation, and she dropped it. I guess she's trying to see what she can get away with and I will have to keep pushing back.
Ds is so stressed about his classes. I found him in bed at 7 last night, then he laid dow down with me which is unusual. He turned in several Physics assignments this week, has to make up a quiz and take a test in Algebra. I think if I wasn't checking behind him, he wouldn't know whether he was coming or going. Plus the ACT test is Saturday. Break cant come soon enough for him.
Ive never been so overloaded at work as I have this year. It’s my 15th year in my career and it’s never been this intense. For a couple of weeks now I’ve brought work home (no overtime, of course) every single night. Three days this week I’ve worked 13 hours each. It’s completely impacting my mental health and my family life.
I have not gone on a run for a while. I’m too tired. My eyes hurt from my computer screen. I don’t have the protections of a duty day, the work simply has to get done. I looked at last year’s workload and this year is double.
On a different note, we leave on the 23rd to go skiing in Quebec and as of now, 0/60 trails are open. We are checking daily. Almost everything is paid for so now I’m nervous.
Post by covergirl82 on Dec 13, 2019 8:56:14 GMT -5
I opined earlier this week about people who I assume are rich, distant relatives in Cork, Ireland. My mom got together with her brother yesterday, and they talked about it. My uncle remembers quite a few of the family 'legends' too, so he was able to add some details to what my mom remembered. Supposedly, a while after my ancestor came to the US, his father or another family member passed away and he was left with an inheritance, but he would've had to go back to Ireland to claim it. My mom and uncle believe it may have been land, or land was a part of the inheritance, which is how the servants/tenants came to own the land. Apparently my ancestor had done well farming in the very SW corner of MI and he sold a lot of his crops to the government during the Civil War to feed the soldiers. My mom said he must have felt he didn't need the inheritance and didn't want to take the risk of all the travel required to get to and from Ireland at that time.
If I ever get to Ireland, I'm definitely going to stop in Cork and see if I can meet any distant relatives.
DD does iceskating lessons with a friend. They started at the same time.
This session, they got spilt up into different classes. This session was Alpha, and both girls were supposed to be on Phase 2. DD was sent with younger kids, friend sent with older kids. Talking to her teacher, they typically divide them up based on skill and age. DD's friend is the same age, but a good 6 inches taller than her. They looked to be doing the same work, so I didn't think twice about it.
Last night was the last class of the session, and.. DD passed Alpha Phase 1 (which she had passed previously), and her friend passed Alpha Phase 2. DD was assessed on Begginner 2 paperwork and had a lot of "needs improvement" and one incomplete, and recommended to do Phase 2 next session. Her friend was assessed on Beginner 1, and got most of them marked as complete, but I think on the Beginner 2 qualifications, would be about the same. (I took both girls last night, so I had both sets of paperwork)
The whole thing is confusing. They use various class titles interchangeable (Alpha, Alpha phase 1, alpha phase 2, beginner, beginner 1, beginner 2, etc.) And none of the class names they use in class or on the paperwork actually tie out to the names of the classes that you register for online.
DD is.. devastated and I'm not even sure how to explain it to her.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Dec 13, 2019 15:39:26 GMT -5
k3am, do you think she didn't learn as much b/c she was with the younger kids?
We had something like this happen in Karate when the instructors talked to a friend DS' age about moving up to the older kids class, but did not talk to us about moving DS up. The friend is also literally 6 inches taller than DS. DS is very small for his age and the instructors had lost track of how old he was and thought he was younger. Luckily when they started talking to his friend, her mom said "what about DS?" and they realized their mistake so the instructors came to us and are moving both kids up now. It's not based on skills though (belts are but not "little kids" vs "big kids" class) but the big kids class is a whole different level of instruction and detail within the moves.
I've never done ice skating lessons, so no idea. But if they are all jumbled up and disorganized like our swim classes, then they don't keep records of what level the kids should be at, and we can sign them up for any age appropriate level. It was just a sheet for the parents. But obviously ask them.
I agree with the teacher’s assessment that she didn’t meet the requirements to move up. But her friend didn’t either.
If I had time during the three weeks of breaks between classes, I could probably get her where she needs to be (former child ice skater) but I don’t.
mustardseed2007 I think she actually got more attention from the teacher being with the smaller kids. This teacher did a lot of work with her alone, even during practice time, vs the other class that only taught to the group.