Post by EllenGriswold on Jan 25, 2020 11:59:08 GMT -5
Since this is my home on these boards I need some help with a kids/work decision.
Currently H and I live in a LCOL area and I have a very long commute for work (75 miles, about an hour and 20 minutes each way). Other than the commute, I really like my job. BUT we just had baby #2 and I’m not sure how everything is going to work once I come back from mat leave. Neither H nor my job is especially flexible and we are going to have to rely on my mom to do pick up for both kids nearly every day (DS is 3 and in preschool and DD will be 3 months and in daycare). She was able to help us out in the fall before baby but dealing only with 3 year old is a lot easier than two kids and I feel bad asking her to do that. And then I just have very little time for myself ever due to the constant driving.
There will be a job opening here right about the time I come off mat leave. Same general area of work, a little different specialty. Job will be lower salary but the amount I will save in commuting costs will make up a good chunk of it. To be honest if probably is a step back in terms of “prestige”, etc. but is a stable job, similar benefits, etc.
If I keep my job I feel like I’m being selfish and making my mom raise my kids. If I take this new job I feel like I’m sacrificing my career. We’ve talked about moving to city where my current job is but my H would not have a job and it is a higher COL. Also other than my commute, we like where we are and could see ourselves staying here for a while (family close, like the school,
I don’t know what to do and I need other perspectives. Thanks!
We're kinda in a similar boat. My commute is only 30 minutes, but as a teacher I'm constantly bringing work crap home. H commutes 1.5 hours each way to Chi. So during my work breaks, I'm alone from 7 to 7 with a 3 year old and infant twins. He's considering looking closer to home, but at minimum there will be a paycut of like 2k. Max paycut could be more. I personally think it would be worth it as the commute costs alone run us about 3000 per year. Plus time back in evenings. If I could have his help doing daycare pickup, I could work the games after school to earn more cash.
In your situation, I think I would apply and interview for the new job, and see how I felt when an offer came. The time and commute costs alone I feel like would be so much better for our work/life balance and mental heath, which is why I am constantly telling my H to apply to see what bites we get.
Post by spearmintleaf on Feb 10, 2020 19:10:25 GMT -5
I currently work 5 minutes from home at a job that I don’t find to be all that challenging. I have a good title and I’m poised to promote when the opportunity arises (here or elsewhere), so I’m not holding myself back long term. However, I’m a bit bored and understimulated at times.
I consider it to be worth it. The quality of life change from not commuting and being home instead is real. I’m just way less exhausted, sleep more, get to stay up a little later, etc. I wouldn’t mommy track my career, but I’m ok with a little less fulfillment in my current role if it means I have the life I want in general.