If you didn’t have to work what would you do with your life?

[sweetiesparkles]

I’m going through a little midlife crisis although I’m 39 😂. We have no debt, doing great with retirement, house will be paid off in 6 months.

My job is stressful though (sales) and I honestly don’t know how long I really want to keep saying “I just need to get through the week....”

I’m toying around with the fantasy of quitting my job since my husbands job is very stable and he makes six figures in a lcol area.

If you didn’t have to work what would you do? I’d probably devote more time to my mental health and fitness and take care of my home more. And sleep. Lots of sleep.

[jinkies]

Well, I just took a job that is part time, freelancing so I set my own hours and work from home.

I am using the extra time to get involved in township government, volunteer more in my kids' school and activities, and finally get going on some major home renovations that we've postponed for years because I didn't have the bandwidth to manage them.

My dog is also getting a very long walk almost every day.

If I could cut out the work part completely, I'd dedicate the extra time to more intense daily exercise.

[ckay]

Hmmm. I love my job (elementary school teacher), but there’s a lot of it that drives me crazy. So, if I didn’t have to work, I’d volunteer to help in a classroom doing the stuff i love (working directly with kids), while avoiding the parts I dislike (meetings, lesson planning, etc). With the rest of my time I’d do yoga, walk in forest preserves, volunteer at an animal shelter, read, and travel!

[Deleted]

I'd work part time at a rescue. Red Rover is in my area. My day to day job requires me to plan events so I'd like to help plan fundraiser events and pet all the animals.

[farmvillelover]

I would work out 2x a day, have lunch with friends (or solo), nap. I'd probably take on a worthwhile project or two, I'm sure I couldn't spend days on end just indulging without it. I'm not wired that way.

I'm feeling a bit burned out lately too. Sadly I feel like I keep chasing the money, which is really hard to not do.

[waverly]

Probably volunteer more at school maybe be a Girl Scout co- leader.

I’m not at the point where I am great about doing fun stuff. Like I’d probably do a lot more chores. So my question is am I trading paid sometimes interesting work for unpaid home chores? But I do like my job.

In your position I might take 6 months off and then re-evaluate. Another thing you could do is take classes- doesn’t necessarily have to be a college degree type thing could be exercise, art or random stuff you always wanted to learn. I might start my own business or try out a lower stress job part time job.

My dream job is mostly what I do now but no commute and only 9-3. I like most of it but I hate hiring.

[mlkgls]

I had a similar conversation at lunch today with my co-workers; work is stressful and we have a small office lottery pool that helps us daydream about early retirement. 

Long term I would find something else to fill my time, but in the short-term I would want to get a full night’s sleep, a dog, learn to knit, study Spanish, and spend more time with my 7yo. 

[sweetiesparkles]

I don’t know if it’s because of the recent accident (Kobe Bryant) or what that is making me stop and realize that life is short and to try to find something that makes you truly happy....

[sillygoosegirl]

What I'd *like* to be doing is climate activism, but I really don't even know how to get started or what to do that would make a difference, even if I could dedicate all my effort, attention, and money to it.

[chpmnk1015]

If I didn't have to work but we had enough money and house, etc were paid off.. I would still find something I love and work some.. maybe some consulting would be ideal and more volunteering and working out..

[Susie]

I would train for an Ironman.

I plan to do it someday, just not now while I'm juggling tiny kids and a career.

[simpsongal]

I want to pro bono work. I just don’t have the bandwidth but I’m hoping to phase it in once the kids get older. Other than that, I have a lot of hobbies that would probably just focus on (home projects, gardening, cooking, piano, etc).

[steamboat185]

Our plan is for me to stop next year and I’ll either be 41 or 42 depending on final timing. I hope to take a more active roll at the kids school, ski, hike and workout more. I also want to be able to travel more. Maybe drive to Alaska or just spend the whole summer visiting various National Parks with the kids.

[minzy]

I don’t work at this point and I regularly do many of the things mentioned above. I tend to structure my time reflective of my priorities, and a really great day for me is when I do at least a little of each of the following: 1) Spend quality time with my husband, 2) and kids, 3) and friends/extended family; 4) exercise; 5) read; 6) volunteer time/give away money; 7) otherwise engage in the community. (Good one sillygoosegirl, I’m also trying to “do something” about climate change. I just drafted an article for our HOA manager about composting for some publication she helps with, I am speaking on a panel at an environment conference in a few weeks, and am also hosting my second annual science party next month, with at least twenty women coming so far).

The volunteering has been a little bananas the last six months, the second Girl Scout troop may be doing me in (ha!), but I honestly love every last bit of it. The house isn’t always super sparkly clean, but I am very fulfilled and feel very fortunate to be able to spend time like this.

[sadlebred]

I'd dedicate an insane amount of time to my hobbies-racing bicycles, riding/showing horses (that I don't do now b/c of lack of time and money), photography, reading. I'd also take plenty of naps, relax, and do things with friends. I'd probably get bored after a few months and want to find a volunteer opportunity 2 days/week.

[RockNVoll]

Sleep more

Get more projects done around the house

Cook more and eat healthier

Work out more (yoga, HIIT)

Spend more time on my hobbies--volleyball, trapeze, get back into rock climbing, knitting & crochet, reading

Spend more time with friends and family

Travel to all the places, and probably do long stays in various parts of the world

Pick up new hobbies like a martial art or piano

Volunteer

Take classes for fun like languages (Chinese, French, Spanish), history, religion, sciences

I'm clearly not one of those people who worries about what they're going to do with all their time in retirement!

[dragon's breath]

So many things! I'm single though, and my son is an adult now, so not any family restrictions...

Travel-- When I am able to finish a big goal, hopefully in the next couple years, I plan to travel overseas at least twice a year, and for two weeks each time. Then travel within driving distance for my other two-weeks-off stretches. When I retire and tire of overseas travel as much, I'll settle down with a dog and a small RV, and do a lot of road trips and camping.

Hobbies-- More knitting, quilting, crochet, start up with woodworking again (one goal is to build a nice shop), lounging in a hammock with a good book, small hikes, and see what I can pick up for new hobbies.

Cooking/baking-- attempt all those recipes that look good but take hours and hours of prep work and consume a full day (or two or three) of my time.

Sleep-- any time I want, no set schedule.

I plan to hire a maid if there is one in the tiny area I'll be moving to. I plan to build the house as easy to clean as possible (ideally I'd be able to just take a hose and spray it down, but that doesn't work so well in craft rooms and on comfy furniture, etc). Yard work won't be so bad once I can handle the majority of it with a tractor and a chainsaw (I cannot wait to not have to deal with a yard. I'll have 9 acres of trees and natural undergrowth, including wild strawberries, wild berries, and very pretty wild flowers.)

I know there's more, but I'd be pretty happy with that.

[5thofjuly]

I realize I’m about to sound like an infomercial for sabbaticals, but I’m mid-bliss right now. I’m currently finishing week 7 of a 9 month sabbatical and DH has 6 overlapping weeks off soon.

So far, I have cooked and baked a lot, deep cleaned things I didn’t even know we owned, read for pleasure a ton, written a couple of editorials/ done interviews, worked out like normal (3x/week), gotten a couple of massages, visited friends or done research for long weekends, cleaned out my grandmother’s house, run all of our errands, and done a ton of planning for big projects. By day 15 I was back in my normal bio-rhythm, sleeping from 1:30-10:30. When DH is off, we’ll spend the entire time traveling.

I told a friend today that this has been life changing. I would describe myself, as seriously Type A and thought I would struggle like crazy not to work-nope! After week 3, I was fine. I’d 100% cut down to part time now if we won the lottery (and I have never said that before.) I spend about an hour and a half a day using my professional expertise and it’s perfect.

I do still need to set daily and longer term goals to be happy. I’m working on learning conversational German, reading more works by female authors, making pasta, painting a huge swath of our basement, and writing my grandmother bi-weekly. DH LOVES how much less stressed I am. I’m not even the same person.


If you can do it, go for it. It doesn’t need to be forever, but I think all adults need regular sabbaticals just to decompress and remember who we were before life got in the way.

[Cappy]

Be involved with my kids and their school, take care of my house they way I should (repairs, cleaning, maintenance, organization), exercise, cook, and start a business or consulting (probably multiple). I'm 41 and can sympathize with feeling sick of wishing my life away. My work gets all of my time and my family/kids get the scraps. I need the (modest) salary and the health insurance so here I am.

[gt7301b]

I'd workout more, right now I'm training for a marathon so it sounds a little nuts, but I don't have time for all the cross training/yoga/recovery activities I'd like to do and I would take back up ice skating.

I'd send DS to daycare fewer hours and do fun trips and adventures with him.

Cook and bake more, grab lunch with friends, find an organization to volunteer with, organize the piles of stuff in my guest room, complete the random house projects that I keep putting off, garden, more travel.

I'd have no problem filling the days.  

[covergirl82]

sweetiesparkles, yeah, I would totally quit my job (or at least take a pause) if we didn't have any debt and MH made a good income.

We are working to pay off our house in the next 5 years so I can take a pause (or work limited part time) until the kids graduate high school. When they are at school, outside of normal chores and errands, I would read, exercise, learn to sew, play instruments (I have a violin and a classical guitar collecting dust), and volunteer. I would also hopefully find some other SAHMs to have coffee with once in a while.

[Pom]

I retired at 42. I had been in hospitality and sales for years and the working 6 or sometimes 7 days a week doing 60-80 hours, had worn me out. For a while, I had a part-time membership sales job before I stopped completely. Mr. P's career has always been very demanding and having 2 crap schedules that included weekends, was over once we could afford it.

So far, there's been less fun than I'd prefer. We've moved twice, built a pool during that first move, I had a hysterectomy, H's dad got dementia and that was 2 years of so much stress, then he passed and we had properties to manage/repair and sell. I travel with H for work and pleasure whenever possible. That part is nice. For the past two and a half years, my mom has had serious health problems and I'd been with her and now she has recently passed away. I am the executor of her estate and will continue to be in charge of the family trust which has farm land that our family will be keeping.

For the past 4 years, I have been volunteering with a support org for kinship foster and teens aging out of foster care. I also enjoy reading, writing, swimming, travel. We have a summer place in Michigan where I have been spending summers with my mom and sister. This year, my sister and I will be leaving May 1 and stay there until mid September. My H flies in and out from there since he is traveling most of the time anyway. We will be overseeing a renovation there and also looking for a lakeside property to buy. I have never been bored.

[ssmjlm]

OMG all of the things!

I would workout, volunteer at my kid's school more, probably volunteer in the community, and just enjoy having free time on the weekends since I got everything done during the week.

I would also probably spend most of the summer at the beach, save for a few summer camps my kid might want to do locally.

[galaxy8227]

I work 2 jobs-full time during the day and 2-3 nights a week waitressing. If I cut out the waitressing I'd have more time with the kids and DH and be able to enjoy our family time more.

If I didn't have to work either job: I'd take cooking classes, work out every day (lucky to fit in 2 days now), volunteer at the kids school and our food pantry more, read, travel and just enjoy life. I don't think I've ever been bored as an adult so I know I'd be ok not working.

[Poppy]

My husband and I both transitioned to part time and it has been ah-mazing.

So far most of my extra time has been devoted to my kids/family but my passion is education (especially STEM) and if I had more time, I would volunteer more in that arena. I would also like to join some exercise classes and play more of my chosen sport.

[goldengirlz]

This isn’t something I fantasize about. I’m not cut out to be a SAHW.

BUT if DH were willing to quit HIS job, I would take an international project at my current job and live abroad for a while.

[sandandsea]

I would volunteer more at school, drive my own kids around and help them with homework and all the things we hire out now. I’d workout more, cook/bake more, and sleep more. I’d have more time for building friendships. However I’d still want to hire out cleaning. I despise cleaning.

[Roc A Bee]

My house would be so clean, and I’d cook more (or more involved recipes). Basically I’d do what I have to do now, but be better at it.

I’d probably go to TJ Maxx and watch a lot of tv, but that sounds amazing. Oh and I’d work out 5 days a week.

[aprilsails]

I would continue to work for three years until DS is in full time school (I am not cut out for full time SAHM of a toddler). I would stash that money away and use that as my personal charity fund (donating to causes I care about specifically).

Once both kids were in school I would volunteer locally with the school, and the tall ship sailing non profit that I worked with in high school. We would spend summers at our family cottages and I would help my parents and grandparents with upkeep. I would like to set up sewing lessons to teach people how to sew clothes and quilt. This wouldn’t need to be profitable (which it usually isn’t) but it would be great as a passion project. I would also like to take the time to exercise, play sports during the day, and travel on school breaks.

Realistically, I will always have the option of doing limited consulting work remotely as well. Once the kids are older I could work exclusively on projects in the Arctic. I would go there for about 10 weeks per year and could work very part time otherwise and would still receive my current full time pay. This is my true plan to step back and coast from ages 50-60. I find the work in the Arctic very fulfilling since it is an underserved and interesting area to visit. I did projects there before having kids, but the travel instability is not acceptable at this time (on one trip I was supposed to be gone 3 days but didn’t get home for 7 due to weather, this is common).

[sweetiesparkles]

I loved reading all of these “dreams”. It’s great to know we can all change our reality and truly do the things we want.