Because nothing I say will fix it and you guys will just keep going no matter what, so KOKO. I don’t necessarily think that I’m wrong, but I personally know that I don’t convey myself properly on a message board and especially when 20 people are questioning me at the same time. I know I will get defensive and dig, which is absolutely not my intent, so why would I sit here and go back and forth which will make it worse when I don’t mean to? A lot of you guys are calling me names and going really low without me adding to it. It’d be silly to add to that, right?
OK means OK. I get what people are saying, but me explaining further will just result in more shit talking, so no, I won’t and I will leave things at OK.
Yes, mofongo, I don’t post here anymore because 90% of the posters left here are not my people and make me want to stab myself. After 16 years of checking here daily, it’s a hard habit to break so I still read the threads but choose not to interact. Also, why don’t you keep the same energy over their bc there are many ppl from here posting there under different names, but talk shit about over there on here like they don’t participate and visa versa? It’s weird.
I’m on my way to a concert rn, so I’m not disappearing but won’t be able to respond tonight.
You don’t need to leave the left lane open if you’re driving fast enough to pass people. You should never be going 50 mph in the left lane, so people going 60 or 70 or whatever have to pass you on the right or weave in and out of traffic because you are in the left lane.
I live in the NYC area. I’ve also lived and commuted in Los Angeles and Chicago. It’s entirely possible to pass in the left lane and move over for someone going faster than you so they can pass. Move over!
“Actually, in most states, they're breaking the law. California, Indiana and 28 other states require drivers to move out of the passing lane if they are driving slower than the "normal speed of traffic." "Normal speed" doesn't mean the speed limit. You can be traveling faster than the limit and still be in violation if the traffic flow is going faster than you are.”
This is from the CA DMV: Drive in the lane with the smoothest flow of traffic. If you can choose among three lanes, pick the middle lane for the smoothest driving. To drive faster, pass, or turn left, use the left lane. When you choose to drive slowly, enter or exit traffic on the right, turn right, park, or move off the road, use the right lane.
In some states, you can legally only use the left lane for passing. In CA, you can stay in the left lane whether or not you are actively passing.
You and I are saying the same thing. If you are driving faster, you are passing cars in the right lanes. If you aren’t driving faster, and therefore not passing, move over.
There’s no need to cruise in the left hand lane, while people pass you on the right. Move over.
@ My PSA is to everyone who asks me if I “want kids” and then tells me that “it’ll happen” or “you’ll have a child, don’t worry” when I act all nonchalant about it, fuck you. There’s a reason I’m non-committal about it. It’s because I DON’T KNOW IF WE CAN HAVE THEM AND I DON’T WANT TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT IT WITH YOU. For some people it doesn’t “happen”. It’s fucking years of time, money, doctors, tests, procedures, and an ocean of tears. So when I say I don’t know if we’ll have kids, it’s because I don’t know and would rather not start sobbing because while making small talk with you. K? K.
Because nothing I say will fix it and you guys will just keep going no matter what, so KOKO. I don’t necessarily think that I’m wrong, but I personally know that I don’t convey myself properly on a message board and especially when 20 people are questioning me at the same time. I know I will get defensive and dig, which is absolutely not my intent, so why would I sit here and go back and forth which will make it worse when I don’t mean to? A lot of you guys are calling me names and going really low without me adding to it. It’d be silly to add to that, right?
OK means OK. I get what people are saying, but me explaining further will just result in more shit talking, so no, I won’t and I will leave things at OK.
Yes, mofongo, I don’t post here anymore because 90% of the posters left here are not my people and make me want to stab myself. After 16 years of checking here daily, it’s a hard habit to break so I still read the threads but choose not to interact. Also, why don’t you keep the same energy over their bc there are many ppl from here posting there under different names, but talk shit about over there on here like they don’t participate and visa versa? It’s weird.
I’m on my way to a concert rn, so I’m not disappearing but won’t be able to respond tonight.
Why don’t you just stop asking people what their plans are for having kids and just come up with some mundane topic of conversation? There really isn’t anything to convey or think about. Just don’t ask people about this. Simple as that.
Because nothing I say will fix it and you guys will just keep going no matter what, so KOKO. I don’t necessarily think that I’m wrong, but I personally know that I don’t convey myself properly on a message board and especially when 20 people are questioning me at the same time. I know I will get defensive and dig, which is absolutely not my intent, so why would I sit here and go back and forth which will make it worse when I don’t mean to? A lot of you guys are calling me names and going really low without me adding to it. It’d be silly to add to that, right?
OK means OK. I get what people are saying, but me explaining further will just result in more shit talking, so no, I won’t and I will leave things at OK.
Yes, mofongo, I don’t post here anymore because 90% of the posters left here are not my people and make me want to stab myself. After 16 years of checking here daily, it’s a hard habit to break so I still read the threads but choose not to interact. Also, why don’t you keep the same energy over their bc there are many ppl from here posting there under different names, but talk shit about over there on here like they don’t participate and visa versa? It’s weird.
I’m on my way to a concert rn, so I’m not disappearing but won’t be able to respond tonight.
Because nothing I say will fix it and you guys will just keep going no matter what, so KOKO. I don’t necessarily think that I’m wrong, but I personally know that I don’t convey myself properly on a message board and especially when 20 people are questioning me at the same time. I know I will get defensive and dig, which is absolutely not my intent, so why would I sit here and go back and forth which will make it worse when I don’t mean to? A lot of you guys are calling me names and going really low without me adding to it. It’d be silly to add to that, right?
OK means OK. I get what people are saying, but me explaining further will just result in more shit talking, so no, I won’t and I will leave things at OK.
I’m on my way to a concert rn, so I’m not disappearing but won’t be able to respond tonight.
You said “ No need to take It personal or give me Deep responses or get mad that someone asked you that question AGAIN. It’s general chatter and not something I’d actually ask someone I already know. Look Debbie, I honestly don’t care. ” But you are asking people something that could literally be THE most personal, difficult thing in their life. And then you want them to lie in order to keep you comfortable? All because you don’t want to have to come up with other topics of small talk?
People in real life are getting upset with you. People here are telling you it’s inappropriate conversation. Even if you disagree, which is fine, why can’t you stop? I just don’t understand why you believe that your desire for easy conversation is more important than possibly saving someone some pain? It would take an incredibly tiny, like super tiny, bit of effort to have some other ways to mingle that aren’t so possibly triggering for people. You don’t have to agree, but you can be a decent person by just acknowledging this and making other choices.
PSA: when you meet a member of the military or a veteran, don't ask them if they've ever killed anyone.
(I'm mostly putting this out for justkly, who seems like the type of person who thinks this is appropriate small talk).
Or if they’ve ever been shot at, been hit by an IED, or lost a friend. And probably best not to say something like “I could never just leave my family for months at a time.” Not that justkly is even listening, but just in case.
Stop telling me “I don’t know how you do it” or “I could never do that” when you find out I solo parent almost 50% of the time or when you see I have 3 boys.
Stop telling me “I don’t know how you do it” or “I could never do that” when you find out I solo parent almost 50% of the time or when you see I have 3 boys.
Yes! I’m a single parent and hearing that makes me want to pull my hair out. I just do it because there’s not another option.
Post by killercupcake on Feb 17, 2020 13:10:16 GMT -5
If you’re in a public place (say, a doctors waiting room), don’t watch videos on your phone unless you have earbuds. Douchebag. You’re not the only person in here and it’s annoying AF.
Stop telling me “I don’t know how you do it” or “I could never do that” when you find out I solo parent almost 50% of the time or when you see I have 3 boys.
Yes! I’m a single parent and hearing that makes me want to pull my hair out. I just do it because there’s not another option.
Times 3!!
Also, not all divorced people want to date and/or get married again. I am happily single and have future plans for myself that don't involve a partner.
Stop telling me “I don’t know how you do it” or “I could never do that” when you find out I solo parent almost 50% of the time or when you see I have 3 boys.
People used to say this to me when my husband was in the military. I got exasperated once and was like "And what is my alternative? How do I *not* do it? Get a divorce? Join up and ask to deploy to the exact same location? Suicide? What exactly do you think this says to me other than 'I think your life sucks.' If so, just say that."*
*I was also pregnant at the time and this person said it to me multiple times a week and was on my VERY LAST nerve.
Stop telling me “I don’t know how you do it” or “I could never do that” when you find out I solo parent almost 50% of the time or when you see I have 3 boys.
People used to say this to me when my husband was in the military. I got exasperated once and was like "And what is my alternative? How do I *not* do it? Get a divorce? Join up and ask to deploy to the exact same location? Suicide? What exactly do you think this says to me other than 'I think your life sucks.' If so, just say that."*
*I was also pregnant at the time and this person said it to me multiple times a week and was on my VERY LAST nerve.
People will STILL say this shit to me when they find out H is a veteran. He hasn’t been in for almost 6 years now. I’m like “You just did it. What do you mean?”
People used to say this to me when my husband was in the military. I got exasperated once and was like "And what is my alternative? How do I *not* do it? Get a divorce? Join up and ask to deploy to the exact same location? Suicide? What exactly do you think this says to me other than 'I think your life sucks.' If so, just say that."*
*I was also pregnant at the time and this person said it to me multiple times a week and was on my VERY LAST nerve.
People will STILL say this shit to me when they find out H is a veteran. He hasn’t been in for almost 6 years now. I’m like “You just did it. What do you mean?”
I also got this a lot when I had a life-threateningly ill child. WTF. What do you think I'm going to do, just abandon her at the hospital? Of course you could do it. You do whatever is set in front of you. People need to stop with this phrase, which I think it supposed to be a compliment.
You don't ask a person about their engagement or wedding plans and not expect a detailed answer.
Its a topic people CARE about. Ergo by you asking its assumed you care about them and their process.
Moron.
Not socially intelligent is the perfect description.
I don’t post on HIH, but about once a week I read their celebrity blinds post. justkly made a ginormous ass of herself a few weeks ago over there.
She accused two of their long-term posters of being catfish, thought one was our Elle from the past for reasons that were unclear. She kept saying they had the same screen name and avatar but they don’t.
They she asked another poster if she was the one who’s H was the alcoholic cheater (WHY would you do that), it wasn’t her, then she doubled down saying she was sure and that the poster’s history was deleted, when in fact, it was all there. THEN the poor poster she was actually talking about got wind of some rando bringing up this horrible stuff from her past. It was one of the more bizarre things I’ve witnessed on the internet.
She was just wrong about...everything and kept digging in. She said things like she’s outed catfish before and took credit for outing Vaba twice, lol. She also said she was good at it and she’s not usually wrong and she loves to be proven wrong. When she was, in fact, wrong, she still kept going. So, quite a weirdo.
ETA: I forgot! She said she didn’t post here anymore b/c we bore her so.
Well then.
All I can say is: social intelligence: low. 👎
Also, there are a few people here that are amazing story tellers. mofongo you consistently are one of the best!
Stop telling me “I don’t know how you do it” or “I could never do that” when you find out I solo parent almost 50% of the time or when you see I have 3 boys.
People used to say this to me when my husband was in the military. I got exasperated once and was like "And what is my alternative? How do I *not* do it? Get a divorce? Join up and ask to deploy to the exact same location? Suicide? What exactly do you think this says to me other than 'I think your life sucks.' If so, just say that."*
*I was also pregnant at the time and this person said it to me multiple times a week and was on my VERY LAST nerve.
EXACTLY! Like wtf are we supposed to do? Moving, take a MAJOR pay cut or divorce are not options in this situation.
Because nothing I say will fix it and you guys will just keep going no matter what, so KOKO. I don’t necessarily think that I’m wrong, but I personally know that I don’t convey myself properly on a message board and especially when 20 people are questioning me at the same time. I know I will get defensive and dig, which is absolutely not my intent, so why would I sit here and go back and forth which will make it worse when I don’t mean to? A lot of you guys are calling me names and going really low without me adding to it. It’d be silly to add to that, right?
OK means OK. I get what people are saying, but me explaining further will just result in more shit talking, so no, I won’t and I will leave things at OK.
Yes, mofongo, I don’t post here anymore because 90% of the posters left here are not my people and make me want to stab myself. After 16 years of checking here daily, it’s a hard habit to break so I still read the threads but choose not to interact. Also, why don’t you keep the same energy over their bc there are many ppl from here posting there under different names, but talk shit about over there on here like they don’t participate and visa versa? It’s weird.
I’m on my way to a concert rn, so I’m not disappearing but won’t be able to respond tonight.
PSA: 95% of the time you post you make me want to stab something, so I'm not sure I'd be going around saying everyone else is annoying.
Post by fivechickens on Feb 17, 2020 15:10:35 GMT -5
cvillenamasteak I get the same ‘I don’t know how you do/did it’ when people find out I have triplets.
You do it because YOU HAVE IT. Would you (general) give one or two away because it’s too much? No. You do it and, though it seems you won’t, you survive and they survive.
Yes all those sayings and platitudes are terrible. In addition to I don’t know how you do it, I’ve gotten “I can’t imagine” which often translates to your situation is so terrible that people can’t even comprehend it.
Also, it’s gods will or you are so strong. It’s not god’s will if my child dies while in heart surgery, so please keep that to yourself.
Another PSA, stop commenting on pregnant women’s weight. At best it’s rude and can give someone major body issues. At worst there is a medical reason why someone is big or small which could be potentially life threatening to the baby (twins, high risk pregnancy, IUGR etc.). I once had a random stranger lady comment on my weight at the women’s hospital when I was there for a medical appointment where baby’s size factored in. We also had multiple co-workers comment on myself and other ladies who were pregnant and no one actually knows anything about size in pregnancy or infants so it all comes out pretty ignorant. Unless you are a doctor and measuring then you have no idea what size someone should be.
EXACTLY! Like wtf are we supposed to do? Moving, take a MAJOR pay cut or divorce are not options in this situation.
I also got this a lot when my first husband died (by suicide, in our home, left himself for me to find). Like... yes yes it’s amazing what you can do when LIFE GIVES YOU NO CHOICE AT ALL IN THE MATTER. Wtf. Am I supposed to drop dead too? Short of that, I have no choice here. Idiots.
People use it to distance themselves from messy parts of life. My son was very sick his entire life and passed at the age of 5, I STILL hear it all the time. I think if people say they “aren’t strong enough” or “couldn’t do it” then it won’t happen to them. I’m sure this is my jaded view but it doesn’t feel like a “compliment” as some try to say it is intended.
Also, the person making small talk about kids should avoid me. I will give you an entire genetics lesson and complex medical history. I am tired of trying to make others comfortable because they choose to ask a stranger in the grocery store about their life.